Photo Friday (Ummmm maybe I won't go to the movies tonight)

My 2 bytes

I'm sick but back.

First thing is thank you for all the nice words about my last post. Oh and if you didn't comment, SCREW YOU *SMIRK*.

I'm still sick but I'm back on my feet again. I would like to thank Benylin for making cough medicine that works. I also want to thank the people at Canada Dry for making good ginger ale, but lastly, and most importantly, I want to thank my Mommy for sending me the care package of BAKED GOODIES that i received yesterday. This is proof of what I already knew. My MOMMY LOVES ME.

Ok my ISP switched over and I killed the land line phone. I don't use it much anyway and the only people who call me on that line want me to particpae in a survey or want money, screw em. I'm already impressed with the 4.5MB/s download as opposed to the 1.5MB/s I was getting with the DSL. This means I can now download porn 3 times as fast. WOOT !!!!

Here's the deal. I getting my Broadband for $10 a month for 3 months and then after that I'll switch to the $40 Extremely fast 7Mb/s and VOIP serice for $40 a month. So when I get the VOIP, there's nothing stopping me from calling people. So when the VOIP comes up I'll be make some phone calls, hopefully to you. You have 3 months to think about it. Do you want a strange Canadian calling you? E-mail me and let me know.

My 2 bytes.

That’s it. NEXT YEAR I’m NOT SPENDING CHRISTMAS ALONE !!!!!

Alright I’ve use to be alone for Christmas, you get that phone call from mom and dad and that’s about it but something this year really pissed me off. Oh and I blame City of Heroes for it.

In the past, I would enjoy the time off, chat with some people and be done with it but this year; I was playing a lot of City of Heroes (COH) and City of Villains (COV). I would play and group with people who would talk about having to take a break to ‘Play Santa’, ’Spend time with the kids’ and so on. REMINDING ME THAT I’m ALONE !!!! Even my Real Life online friend (I knew her before Al Gore invented the Internet), was home for Christmas. Basically I’m depressed.

I’m not feeling well, (not nearly as bad as last Christmas). I’m coughing and I’m feeling broke. I need a hug people. I’m sad and lonely. I even slept a whole day out of my 4 day weekend. I’m seriously bummed out.

I know that people come to my blog for a quick chuckle at my rants about whatever but my heart isn’t in it. I’m woozy as well. I spent the last 3 hours in bed, trying to fall asleep and only managing to cough every once in a while. I need to shave. I need the sun. I need ……… to start all over.

I’m lying in bed wishing that I could go back to grade 2 and start all over again. Fix all the mistakes in life and ….do something different. Perhaps I wouldn’t be the same person today. Perhaps I wouldn’t be alone at Christmas. Perhaps………

I know I’m bumming everyone out but I’m seriously depressed right now. I’m feeling alone right now. All I can think about is how I don’t seem to matter right now. How……..

My 2 bytes

Twas the night before....aw crap

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the apartment, not a creature was stirring, not even my computer mouse.

My PC fans  buzzed so quietly, keep my machine nice and cool for a night of downloading.

Downloading Bit Torrents, of all the episodes of Stacked. I didn’t care if the show was any good, HEY IT’S PAM ANDERSON Dammit.

My Satellite box with one growing light. Even though I put the machine in vacation mode I’m still getting Tech TV and that’s my favorite channel so I still get joy from my TV.

In the refridgerator lay 2 boxes of pizza. Two for one because I thought, why the hell not.

GRRRR, CUT, CUT, CUT.

Ok this is going nowhere. I just don’t have a parody of Twas the night before Christmas in my head.

So basically. Merry Christmas to one and all.

My 2 bytes.

Photo Friday (It's time for a Christmas Joke)

My 2 bytes

My 12 days of Christmas

Last year I posted the 12 days of Christmas by Bob and Doug MacKenzie and someone from Manchester called me a lazy sot or something like that. So this year I thought I would rip someone else off but I’m feeling creative (can you believe it) so t his year I made my own version.

On the first day of Christmas someone e-mailed me.
A jpeg of  pornography

On the second day of Christmas someone e-mailed me.
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the third day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the fourth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the fifth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me.
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the sixth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the seventh day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Seven copyright violation notices
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the eighth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Eight Free IPod offers
Seven copyright violation notices
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the ninth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Nine attachments from Mommy
Eight Free IPod offers
Seven copyright violation notices
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the tenth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Ten refinance offers
Nine attachments from Mommy
Eight Free IPod offers
Seven copyright violation notices
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the eleventh day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Eleven offers to meet women in my area who want sex
Ten refinance offers
Nine attachments from Mommy
Eight Free IPod offers
Seven copyright violation notices
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the twelfth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
NOTHING !!!
I FINALLY GOT MY SPAM BLOCKER CONFIGURED AND I’M NOT GETTING ANY MORE CRAP

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

My 2 bytes  

BLAA BLAA is worse than YADDA YADDA

I’m resorting to blaa blaa today. This is beyond Yadda Yadda. Yadda Yadda at least has some sort of meaning behind it but Blaa Blaa has nothing.

I’m suffering from a brain cramp and my blog is suffering because of it. Maybe its my lack of…. I DON’T KNOW. Maybe I’m having midlife crisis or something. Not that I’m at midlife crisis age but I’m still feeling BLAA BLAA.

I’m looking for something to write about. I finally watched the last episode of The Amazing Race and I thought it was cool they went through Montreal and Toronto but so what.

I read about the illegal NYC Transit strike and I think BLAA BLAA.

I’m so BLAA BLAA that I don’t even what is interesting. It’s possible that it’s because of the lack of TV but isn’t TV suppose to ROT your brain. Then again I’ve been downloading my shows and I even have an episode of Top Gear waiting for me. I think that one of Vic’s favorite shows. I was watching American Chopper on my PSP yesterday and seeing Paul Sr. in a Kilt was amusing, especially when he was driving a scoter and trying to prevent it from flapping up. All these interesting things and all I can thing of is BLAA BLAA.

I guess I’ll leave you with Drunken Santa. Use the arrow keys to control him, (For the record, I got this from my mom)

My 2 bytes/

I got FREE CRAP

I’m been really, really bad with how I’ve been updating my blog. I guess I needed a vacation (or some hottie to give me a good spanking). However I have returned. I’m here to share my unique look on the world.

Well guess what? I finally got FREE CRAP, thanks to my blog. I kid you not. Someone sent me free crap. Remember a few months ago when someone asked me to talk about a videogame called Stubbs the Zombie? Well late last week I got a free copy of that game for the Xbox. Too bad I don’t own an X-Box but even a bonehead like me has proven that you too can get FREE CRAP from blogging.

So now I would like to take the time to thank M80 for sending me a free copy of the game. It has a good home now and someone is enjoying it. I gave it to a good friend.

Basically this means that I can be bought. So here is a list of the companies that can buy my blog for free crap and the free crap I expect.

SONY : Playstation 3, A Big ass HDTV
APPLE : IPod with Video.
MOLSON :Just drive the truck of beer to my door and I’ll be happy.
CALGARY FLAMES: A pair of season tickets would be nice.
ROYAL BANK OF CANADA: Just send money, lots and lots of money.
NISSIAN: One of those Extera’s would be cool.

Now if your company isn’t on this list, don’t be discouraged, send me free crap and I’ll write about you too.

My 2 bytes.

Anothert Photo Friday (A Canadian Christmas)

My 2 bytes

Photo Friday (Santa won't make it this year)

My 2 bytes

Shy Pee

First thing, sorry for not posting for a couple of days. All I have to say is that I don’t have a problem and I can quit playing City of Heroes ANYTIME I WANT TO. I just don’t want to right now. That’s all.

I heard about this on a podcast called Infected and I thought WOW. Apparently over 4 million people in the UK suffer from this disorder. I’m talking about Paruresis, more commonly known as ‘Shy Pee’. These people feel guilty peeing in public restrooms. So basically 6% of the population of the UK cannot pee with people watching them.

I remember as a child I had a traumatic experience when I was on a train and I had to pee and my dad insisted on being there with me because he was mad that I interrupted him. So I’m nervous and nothing happens and he smacked me for it. So if anyone should have ‘Shy Pee’, it should be me.

I actually suffer from a similar condition at work, but its not called ‘Shy Pee’. It’s called ‘Q.L.A.M.D.Y.F syndrome’ or ‘Quit Looking At My Deal You Freak.’ With morons looking into the next urinal, why wouldn’t people be embarrassed by this? What possesses some bonehead to lean over and check out another guys business?

I remember once that I walked in and the guy was standing at the urinal with his pants around his ankles and he was going commando. I’m still trying to find out if I can sue for damages. Now I know that in Happy Days, they had meetings in the Men’s bathroom in Arnolds, but people should be not be hanging around there unless you have a strange desire to smell poop.

I have a theory about the 4 million in the U.K. now. I don’t think they’re scared to pee in public. I think they’re scared that George Michael will walk in. Remember the bathroom in Beverly Hills?

My 2 bytes.

Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast 14

SHOW NOTES


Intro

Blaa Blaa Blaa Typical Weekend

Cyberbooty

Richard Pryor (Rest in Peace)

No Satellite TV

HDTV

Healthy Pop Tarts

I am just babbling.

I cannot type properly

My 2 bytes

Photo Friday (Shouldn't they be doing that in the Gingerbread house?)

My 2 bytes

I need a vacation

It’s so close to the weekend and yet so friggin far !!!! I can’t take much more of this. I need a haircut. I need a long shower. I need to get up earlier. For the past couple of days, I’ve slept in and managed to get to work, ‘just in time’. We’re talking zero minutes to spare here. For the past 2 days I’ve come in unshaven and my hair isn’t the greatest right now. I need a haircut. I should have time to do that this Saturday.

The problem with the ‘energy’ running on empty is that you can’t think of anything interesting to write about. I can’t seem to generate some cute little bit about glow in the dark condoms or anything like that. Usually I could come up with such a story without trying but now all everyone sees in my write is fatigue. I almost feel ancient.

Actually people are the warehouse have noticed the same thing. I feel so tired and it shows. I want sleep. I want to enjoy life for a change. I swear that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take a vacation. I’m feeling trapped right now.

The thing is that it’s not the job. I’m happy with the job. It’s the hole that has become my life. For the longest time, I worked and barely got by. I’m looking forward to the day when I’ll actually have some money left over at the end of a pay period. This living from pay cheque to pay cheque thing is for the birds. I never seem able to put any cash away.

I think this is one of the reasons why I’ve killed the Satellite and now I’m switching to a cheaper ISP. I’m also going to kill the land line phone and work of my cell for a bit, though I’m giving VOIP a serious consideration.

Basically I feel that the great bird of happiness has taken a shit on my head. Some people say that it’s good luck for a bird to poop on you but I don’t feel lucky.

Anyway work calls and I have to answer that call.

My 2 bytes.

A quick Yadda Yadda

Well it’s been the first day and things are fine. For some reason I still have 1 channel on my dish and its G4TechTV. YAAA I can still get my geek fix.

I’ve downloaded last week’s episode of Commander and Chief since I missed it, and last Thursday’s Letterman, the one with Oprah, which has to be a keeper. I’ll try and download this weeks Commander and Chief tomorrow morning.

I know this post is just yadda yadda but I’m tired. I spent too much time playing my City of Heroes game. The really sad thing is that I created a blog for my Silent Moon character. I think I need professional help.

My 2 bytes.

My insane experiment

Ok I really did it today. I officially went over the edge and did something rash. I cancelled my Satellite TV. Ok I didn’t ‘cancel’ cancel it. Instead I had Expressvu put my Satellite box in vacation mode. This way I don’t have to pay for something that I’m not watching that much anyway. Here’s my plan. I’ve already been doing this to a certain extent with some TV shows anyway so I figured why not just do it with all my TV shoes?

Here’s the thing. I never watch live TV anymore. I like having the power of pausing, fast forwarding and rewinding. This is pretty much the same thing as a DVD. Last summer I was doing this with episodes of Battlestar Galactica and Rescue Me (both shows rock) so why not start doing this with all my shows?

So I axed the Satellite for the next few months. I’m going to give it a at least 6 weeks, which is the minimum time my Dish can be in vacation mode to try my little experiment. I’m hoping that it will work out and I won’t bother using the Dish anymore. Like I said. I never watch live TV anymore.

I’m having good luck so far with my TV shows with the exception of Letterman. I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to watch Dave anymore, since no local station carries him. The rabbit ears are not going to do it, thought I’m not going to give up without a fight.

I’ll keep everyone posted on my progress.

My 2 bytes.

Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast 13

SHOW NOTES

Intro

My last 2 weeks

Student Loan people are assholes.

Almost Christmas and I feel so blaaa.

Free Dictionary.com

The Tag board is gone.

The Manual for Ace Combat 5

Rude People and the Laundry Room



My 2 bytes

Photo Friday (The art of subliminal messages)

My 2 bytes

The last 28 minutes of work

I’m bored right now. I’m sitting in my office at work wonder what to do. It’s about 27 minutes till quitting time and I have no interest in starting something new..

Ok now it’s 26 minutes and I’m looking at that stupid paperclip that is suppose to give advice with Microsoft office, but in fact it’s just a pain in the ass.

Well it’s 25 minutes until quitting time. Someone walked into the office and is working at the other desk. The beauty thing is that it appears that I’m working by typing this so no one is going to mess with me right now. HA HA HA

Alright now its 24 minutes and things are BORING. I’ve adjusted my monitor, just slightly, just in case some comes by and tries to look at my screen. Well if they do, then they will get a good smack from me as I look again at the clock and see that now I have 22 minutes to go.

Now at the 21 minute mark, I look at a RF scanner gun that needs some new screws. The handle and trigger came off and needs to be fixed. The good news is that I can do it in house without having to send the gun away. Have to get the maintenance guy to pick up some screws and that’s it.

Well I have 18 minutes to go. Yes, less than 20 minutes now. I was talking with a Lead Hand and she doesn’t know that I’m typing but that’s OK, she’s annoyed at someone else. I won’t mention this person’s name because she’s scared the detective’s from CSI will talk to her after I die in an unusual way.

14 minutes now and I’m think WOOT. Less than 15 to go. I’m thinking that I will probably post this at 3 minutes to, just so that I’m not messing around. Did I mention that I was still on an hourly wage? Maybe in the near future, they will putt me on Salary.

At 10 minutes the female lead hand was nice enough to say that I smell like Poo. She’s such a charmer. Oh and then she asked me for help with Excel. To make matters worse. I did help her.

Here we are at 8 minutes and counting. I had to help her again. Someone’s phone just rang and it wasn’t mine. THANK GOD IT WASN’T MINE.

Back from the washroom and my bladder thanks me for it. I have about 4 minutes to go. I put on my coat and shoes but I’m not exactly thrilled with the idea of walking out in the cold weather right now. I might wait a few extra minutes inside before heading out. I personally think that Calgary Transit is trying to get me to freeze my ass off.

Last 2 minutes and I check my e-mail one last time. Someone might have sent something to me at the last minute. Mmmmm the new hot girl just walked by. HEH HEH. I never drool in public.

Ok that’s it. QUITING TIME. Time to post this puppy and go home.

My 2 bytes

A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

My 2 bytes

I need a vacation

Blaa. I feel so tired and worn out. I’ve been working on different projects this past little while, though I still have some more stuff on my plate. I have this and that to do today. Not to mention a conference call at 11:00am today.

I guess I’m starting to feel a little worn out. I need a vacation and I’m all out of vacation days. True I’ll have a 4 day Christmas weekend coming up in 4 weeks, but that’s in 4 weeks. I want a break now.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not tired of my new job. I like the IT job very much but it’s still a job. I still have to drag my lazy ass out of bed at 6:15am to be up and ready for work at 8:00am. Remember when people started work at 9:00am. I guess I shouldn’t complain much since other people around here start at 6 or 7. It seems to me that my time is no longer my own.

I never did a podcast this weekend and unless I hear cries of outrage, I’m planning to skip this week’s show. It’s not that I don’t want to do it; it’s just that I feel so tired lately.

It’s early in the morning and things are still relatively quiet so I have time to write this but I defiantly need a vacation. I would like to escape the impending cold. While it’s not nearly as bad as say the amount of snow that hit Jay’s part of the country. I still would like to get away so some tropical island where lovely women in bikini’s would serve me drinks with those umbrella’s on the beach.

Are my feelings because I feel overwhelmed with life or am I just lazy assed? I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

My bytes

Photo Friday (For all your shopping needs)

My 2 bytes

I've never seen anything like this before

Today I saw something that I hope I never see again. I saw sadness, pain and sorrow of such magnitude that I think I’m going to remember this for the rest of my life. I have never seen such a display of raw emotion before and I pray that I never see it again.

This is what happened. I’m at work, setting down to write some e-mails about work related items when I start to hear sobbing. I stop for a moment, at first thought that it might be laughing and I listen for a moment but then I come to the conclusion that it is definitely sobbing. I get up and walk out of my office to investigate and I see some other people around also trying to find the source of the sobbing. Soon after I find out that it’s coming from the locker room. I see one woman holding onto another, crying and it seems to be getting more intense by the moment. I look at a co-worker and he tells me that the person’s sister had died and she just found out. I pause to consider giving my condolences but I decide that she’s not going to hear me away so I make my way back to my office.

When I get back, I notice that it seems to be getting worse and worse. She’s really taking it hard. I look back and she’s collapsed on the floor crying. This has gone beyond normality in my opinion. This isn’t something that I normally see here. This is starting to look like something I see on CNN, when they cover some disaster that has occurred in India. Bottom line, while I do feel for her, at the same time, I’m getting creeped out.

One thing that I’ve considered now that I think about it is the level of the family bond from that part of the world. Over here we tend to get annoyed by family and even shun some of them but perhaps over their, they understand the importance of family. It reminds me of how I cried more over the death of my dog as opposed to my grandmother. Maybe I’m the one with whacked out priorities?

Either way, I do feel bad for this person who lost her sister today. While I choose not to reveal names, I do hope that her sister is now in God’s loving arms.

My 2 bytes.

Turkey Day was LAST MONTH !!!

I find it so weird that they celebrate Thanksgiving a whole month later in the U.S. What I want to know is why this occurs? Was there a huge fight one day between some people on the border? Did someone say “Let’s move our Thanksgiving just to piss those people across the border off?”

What was really annoying was the Thanksgiving cartoons in November. WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH THIS? As a kid, I found cartoons to be a very serious matter and that last thing I wanted to deal with was why ‘A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving’ was a month late. There’s nothing more annoying than cartoons out of season, I thought.

One thing that really pissed me off was that the Canadian Thanksgiving didn’t have a huge parade like the Macy’s parade. Instead I sat someone while my parents and their guests watched some football game. For a kid who loved cartoons, football on TV was a living hell. It’s pissed me off that it took over 3 hours to play 60 minutes of football. That was valuable cartoon time being wasted.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this. My eyes are tired but I’m full of joy because a plumber showed up and fixed my toilet and shower. It only took 2 hours from when I spoke to the landlord so I’m EXTREMELY pleased. I’m hoping to take come pics of my desk tomorrow.

My 2 bytes

I want to be an IT consultant

Alright I have a plan. Actually it’s not even my plan but it’s a good plan. Here’s the deal. I eventually want to become a consultant so I can work on my own terms. An IT consultant would look cool on my business cards and all the babes would love me. The problem is what should I specialize.

Earlier tonight I was chatting with one of my favorite bloggers, that’s someone on my ‘Favorite Blogs’ list, and we have a plan. We’re both IT people and were going to become web consultants, web consultants for porn sites. Yeah, here’s the  plan, smut peddlers will come to use and we will evaluate their websites and recommendations. We can make recommendations on layouts, navigation as well as content. We’ll do a serious analysis and write a report.

I can imagine how our reports will look like. We would have something like this written. “You need to redo your navigation bar. I found it difficult to find the anal area. Also the use of ‘Barely Legal’ is so last year. I would consider looking for something new”.

For the record, this isn’t my idea but someone else’s. I’m not going to say who’s idea it was because I don’t want to embarrass her but hey it’s a dirty job and someone has got to do it.

My 2 bytes.

Tales from the Great White North. The Podcast #12

Show Notes

Intro

New Desk, New Phone, New Everything.

Shania Twain get the Order of Canada. (Just like RUSH !!)

Celine Dion is copy protected. Thank God.

Sony doesn’t know when to quit. (Microsoft the good guys?)

Evolution is Evil?

Pet A Kitten


My 2 bytes

Photo Friday (An age old question finally answered)

My 2 bytes

Bones, get me to sickbay

I admit that I have some ‘Trekker’ in me. I own all the movies on DVD. I want to buy all the TV serieses on DVD, from the classic to Enterprise. I own Star Trek cards, coasters, action figure and even a phaser but I tend to keep it under control. There are people who tend to go overboard though and some people see this as a great opportunity. Enter William Shatner.  The man with a plan. The man would can talk sing with the best of them (Those CD’s Rock). He plan to sell his kidney stone on EBAY.

The first thing that came to mind was EWWWWW. The second was ‘ARE YOU NUTS’. Then I realized that he’s probably going to make a mint if he can get past the body part clause on EBay.

I remember watching Trekkies and the scene where they talk about a guy who paid $60 for the ‘Q’ Virus which a glass of water that a very sick John de Lancy had drank from.  Then there was the guy who wanted a sample of James Doohan’s blood. So I’m sure someone will want to own Captain Kirk’s kidney stone.

I can image the auction. All the hardcore geeks, staying by their computers in their parents basement, not bathing, just to see if there’s any change in the bid. (OK so it’s the not much of a change, but at least they won’t  photoshopping the female character’s head onto naked women for awhile), butmost of these Dweebs won’t be bidding.

The dangerous part is the smart IT people. These people have cash and if they’re hardcore enough then we could be in some serious trouble. Imagine Bill Gates and Steve Jobs in a bidding war over the kidney stone.

Well the good news is that the proceeds will go to charity so come on people. You could be the person who owns a piece of William Shatner.

My 2 bytes.

Kelowna B.C. The Crack Capital of Canada

I’m proud to be Canadian. I’ve said that before but every once in a while someone up here comes up with a really DUMB idea and it’s usually a politician. Though this time, it’s not from Ottawa (that’s the Capital of Canada EH!), it has come from Kelowna B.C. A mayoral candidate has come up with an interesting solution in dealing with the homeless problem in their community. Get them to work and pay them in CRACK.  Yes that’s right, they want to get the homeless people working and pay them in CRACK COCAINE!!!

So you have homeless people needing a job to buy food, booze or drugs, and now this person wants to eliminate the middle man. I can now imagine the mass migration of drug addicts to Kelowna. This city that was once known for the Okanogan River will now be home to thousands of crack addicts. Makes me want to raise my kids there now huh?

Oh, here’s the theory. This person figures that the homeless people will gain so much self esteem from doing these jobs that they won’t want the CRACK. Does this guy have any understanding of what an addiction is? These people are hooked and need to go into REHAB to get clean. Doing manual labour isn’t going to instantly remove the need for the drug.

Honestly, I wish I was making this up but I guess there are some people out there who are so dense that they just don’t understand like outside their little circle. I bet this person lives in la la land. I bet this person has never suffered real hardship. They don’t understand the allure of a drug that will give them some escape from the horrors of everyday life. Bottom line this guy is a dumb ass.

On the brighter side, I can except to see the drug fiends leave Calgary en mass to the promised land of Kelowna. So if Kelowna wants to be the Crack Capital of Canada, be my guest.

My 2 bytes.

Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast # 11

Show Notes

Intro

My new guest.

Red Neck Man

Sony is in such deep trouble.

Kicking the crap out of comment spammers

Robbing a Bank and chatting on a Cellphone at the same time?

Wacko Security guard gets benefits?

The Better Bra?

I have a major thumper of a headache.

Hi there. Sorry my head seriously hurts so I'm not recording a podcast tonight. I'll try and do it tomorrow.

Oh I found this on Vics blog.

My 2 bytes.

Photo Friday (BAD RONALD BAD RONALD)

My 2 bytes

My Grandfather was a Vet

I’m glad it’s almost Friday. The bad news is that I still have to work tomorrow on Remembrance Day. In Alberta, Remembrance Day is a stat holiday, but not in Ontario. As a result, the company makes us work that holiday in lieu of Boxing Day which isn’t a holiday in Alberta, but most employers give it to their employees anyway.

I’ve always believed that we should always honor those who lost their lives fighting for our freedom. As well to honor those who have answered the call, and decided to wear that uniform and defend our homeland from those who would do us harm. Basically I think that the idea of that we have to work during that day blows.

I still remember looking at my grandfather’s medals from WWII. He died when I was still too young to ask about those experiences but I do remember the medals nonetheless. Maybe it’s because I choose Remembrance Day to honor him. He went overseas and fought against the Axis. He came back alive and started a family. He died so long ago that I only think of him during Remembrance Day. So this post is for you Pa Pere.

I always think of how you put yourself in harms way and came back.

My 2 Bytes.

Are Canadians good lovers?

Ok I was missed yesterday but I have a good reason. I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE BLOGGING PPPHHHTTTTT !!!!!!!!!, but I’m back.

This morning I was watching the news and this special interest story came on, something about Canadian women being satisfied when it came to sex. At first there was a bit of male bravado but then some so called experts started talking how the women were just being polite, a common Canadian trait.

So this expert comes on and start blaa blaa this and blaa blaa that. Then he made this comment about 2 minutes in bed and off to the TV to watch the hockey game. Alright now, I admit that I’m not the greatest lover on Earth, in Canada, or even in this room (and I’m by myself), but one thing that I’m not is inconsiderate. To think that I would be so selfish as to rush, in order to watch the hockey game is unthinkable (besides, you have sex AFTER the hockey game).

Now I can’t say that my attitude is common among all Canadian males but I know that a women not being satisfied after sex is an attack on my manhood. “What? You did not cum? Where is my power drill and the French Tickler attachment? VRRR VRRR”.

I can’t speak for every Canadian male but there’s a reason why I think about hockey while ‘something’ is happening.

My 2 bytes.

On the bus, on my way to work.

To the guy who stole my seat on the bus.


PPPPPPLLLLLLTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'll do a proper post when I get home.

My 2 bytes

Answers to the Movie Quote Game

Batman (1989 version)

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith

Air Force One

Top Gun

Airplane

The Hunt for Red October

Independence Day

I, Robot

Star Trek: First Contact

S.W.A.T.

Sorry, I’m still feeling brain fried so that’s all for today, so until next time.

My 2 bytes.

Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast #10

Sorry, to tired to time the show.

Show Notes:

Intro

Absolute nothing to talk about

Junk Blogs

Prince Charles went to Church

Stolen Bull Semen

The Duke Boys are back together.

The Tooth Fairy is Dead.

Ending.

My 2 bytes

The movie quote game

It’s back by popular demand. Ok one person asked me about it, but it’s back nonetheless. Yes it’s the movie quote game. Identify the movie the quote came from. The answers will be up on Monday.


“Where did he get those wonderful toys?”

“You were the chosen one”

“Get off my plane”

“I feel the need, the need for speed”

“Flying a plane is just like flying a bicycle. It’s just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes”

“This vessel belongs to the people of the Soviet Union”

PUNCH “Welcome to Earth”

“There’s no way my luck is that bad……HELL NO”

“ASSIMILATE THIS”

“Look, if your internal affairs, that guy had double edge razor blades in his mouth. I had to put him down hard”

My 2 bytes

Photo Friday (That never happens on City of Heroes)

Perhaps he lost his keys and he's looking for them.

My 2 bytes

The person behind the Avatar

I know I’ve gone on and on about my City of Heroes game and blaa blaa blaa but I found this earlier in the week and I finally have the time to share this with everyone. There’s this person who makes a living playing and leveling people’s characters when they’re busy, a professional game player. Now this is nothing new, people have been making money by taking the time to create powerful characters in a game and auctioning off the account on EBay for some time. What’s really interesting is that this guy is also a photographer and he did a pictorial of people and their game characters.

Personally the pic of the guy is kinda creepy. if not ….gayish. Standing on top of his desk in black pants and a black tank top, sort of looking like he’s smoking. He has that ‘I’m cultured and I’m better than you look’ but he’s still a professional DORK.

What I find interesting is how peoples characters are so different and their reasons for choosing that look and style. Bae Kyun-Eun reasoning for having a male character was something I found interesting. Her belief that male avatars project strength was something I never considered. I have a male character and a female character as well. I’ve always found that the female tends to get more attention, since I made her attractive. Then again, if I found my male character attractive, then I might be GAY!!! But since I’m not, I’ll just have to concede that my female character is a hottie, plain and simple.

Maybe it also has something to do with living in a fantasy world of your choosing as opposed to the one we live in now. City of Heroes and games like that are online communities after all.

There’s this Bill guy who transport gold for the U.S. Federal Reserve. In his pic, he looks like a macho SOB, smoking the cigar and notice the automatic weapon behind the seat. Why would this guy need to play a MMORPG when his real life has to be pretty cool? Yet he’s also a player.

I even found some pics of people who also play City of Heroes and I’ve always wondered about the lives of the other players. I’ve chatted with some of the people while playing, joking around a bit and that sort of thing.

I honestly believe that it all stems from people inability to talk to new people. People are shy and they don’t want to put themselves at risk. I play and I get to know new people, just as I was given the opportunity to meet the people on my Fav’s list. With one exception, I’ve never meet any of you and yet I consider many of them as close as family; my virtual family.

My 2 bytes.

It's something when even maggots thinks that Spammers are below them

I’ve seen this thing on Brandie’s and Letti blog, as well as mine. There’s this scumbag out there putting spam on everyone’s Shoutbox and I want to make this scumbag pay. All this bastard is doing is taking up valuable real estate. I want to know what kind of scumbag thinks this is a good idea.

Well mimleads, if I EVER find out who you are I’m going to make your life a living hell. If I ever meet you, I swear that I will beat you within an inch of your life. If I ever meet you I will rip your head off and $%^& down your NECK.

While I keep going on about this scumbag, it’s probably some friggin looser living in Eastern Europe in a former Soviet Satellite State. He’s this person is still a scumbag.

From me to you spammer scumbag. DIE DIE DIE.

My 2 really pissed off bytes.

I'm very sorry

I’ve been slipping with visiting other people’s blog and I don’t have a justifiable excuse. There is no reason why I can’t take the time to go and visit my favorites. I’ve been so preoccupied with my online gaming that I forgot all of you and for that I’m sorry. I now pledge to visit My Favorites every 24 hours. As well, from now on, I will take some time every Sunday to start exploring new blogs.

With what has occurred in my favorites in the past month, first with Hugh’s disappearance, then Vics calling it quits for awhile and then Sheepie disappearing, I’ve come to realize that I’m just assuming that your going to be there. Well I’ve learned the hard way that you may not. Please accept my heart felt apology

Actually it’s not all my fault. It’s because of HER !!!!!!



Look at my City of Hero character Silent Moon work at her laptop. She’s such a smart super hero. How could I neglect her? She needs my constant attention.

Not buying it? Ok. I’ll come and visit tonight and make my presence known.

My 2 bytes.

Sigh, Your so stupid

You are Kip Dynamite and you love technology.


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

My 2 bytes

Trick or Treat, now give me the DVD's

Well its Halloween kiddies. I hope you got your trick or treating out of the way. Personally I never did. Guess I’m too old. Oh well.

One my way home, I went through the mall. Somehow the walk doesn’t seem so long in climate control comfort. Anyway the mall encourages trick or treaters of the young set. Sort of makes sense, the little ones who aren’t old enough to go out with their friends still get to enjoy the spirit of the holiday without any of the potential dangers. So I was watching the little children and their parents walk by and I thought, why couldn’t I trick or treat in the mall? The difference is that I wouldn’t want candy. I would want other stuff. So I’m compiled a virtual Halloween night, trick or treating in Chinook Centre.

Sears: There’s someone bland about Sears but I’ll take a new refrigerator out of the deal.

Britches: I’ll take a suit. I’m always looking for something nice to wear.

Athletes World: A pair of those insanely expensive shoes will do.

Bell World: Give me that new HDTV PVR that looks so nice, sitting there on the shelf. I swear it’s calling my name. Oh and throw in the dual antenna as well. I’ll need it.

The Sony Store: MMM How about a big ass Plasma TV.

Japan Camera: A digital camera would be cool.

Jacob Lingerie: Ummm, how about you ladies model some of the wares?

Quizno's Classic Subs: Hey, I have to get something to eat out of this place.

Veggirama: Now that’s a dirty trick. NO WAY!!

EB Games: There isn’t a Halloween bag big enough to get all the things I want in that place.

I could go on and on, but you get the point. Anyway, take care and have a SAFE HALLOWEEN EH!

My 2 bytes

Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast #9

Show Notes

00:00 Intro

03:02 Everyone is going away. I miss Hugh and Vics.

04:15 My friggin map

06:40 Shopping carts at Toys R Us.

08:16 FKC in French.

11:17 The guy with a light bulb sticking out of his shirt.

14:15 What’s up with Zip?

16:08 If you don’t know who Luke Skywalker is get go away and never come back !!!!

17:11 Batman and Spiderman Teddy Bears.




18:15 The Original Pope mobile

20:22 Sulu is Gay, no REALLY

23:45 1 Terabyte/sec download, now that’s a lot of Porn.

26:20 Extro


My 2 bytes

Photo Friday (Halloween, BLAAA)

My 2 bytes

Because I'm starting to get lazy every Thursday.

The truth is that I don't want to put too much work into a post when it will be eclipsed by the Photo Friday in a few hours. I did promise that I would have it up at 12:01am from now on.

Another thing VISIT MY MAP AND ADD YOURSELF. The add yourself function in on the right under the pic. Don't annoy the Bears.

You Are A: Bear Cub!

Bears are strong and independent creatures who roam in the forest in search of food. Bears are usually gentle, but anger one and be prepared for their full fury! You're big -- a classic attribute of bears. Intelligent and resourceful, though lazy at times, you are a fascinating creature of the wild.

You were almost a: Turtle or a Duckling
You are least like a: Squirrel or a PuppyWhat Cute Animal Are You?

My 2 bytes

I don't mean to rent crappy DVD's

First thing. Why isn’t anyone putting a pin in my MAP !!! Ok back to normally scheduled blog babble,

I remember when I use to go on and on about how Zip.ca rules. I still believe that, honestly I do, but lately they seem to be going out of their way to piss me off.

It all started when they opened a second distribution centre here in Calgary. The first thing I thought was “WOO HOO, now I’ll be able to get my DVD’s OVERNIGHT instead of waiting 2 days” WRONG !!! For some reason, it was taking 3 or 4 days for DVD’s to arrive. Did I mention that it was taking 2 days when shipped from Ottawa, which is thousands of km away? So I call and WAAA WAA about it and they also agreed that there was a problem.

Problem Number 2. Zip has a policy that of sending box sets in order so, for example when I rent a box set, they send the DVD’s in sequence, disc 1 then 2 and so on. This time they send Sopranos, Season 1 disc 1 and 2 and then they send Smallville Season 1, disc 3. WHAT THE!!! I never say DVD 1 and 2. The good news is that they sent the other DVD’s free. I think they had too because what has occurred what in direct violation of their FAQ.

Now they’ve seemed to have fixed their other issues so I’m pretty happy. That is I was pretty happy until Problem Number 3 showed up. Now I can have 4 DVD’s out at a time, and I have 2 slots that are ASAP (as soon as possible, DUH). Well they seem to be ignoring the ASAP selection and are sending me fine selections like Masters Of Poker: Phil Hellmuth's Million Dollar Poker System and t.A.T.u.: Screaming For More. I swear I must have been drunk when I put those on my list.

Hopefully they’ll get their crap together and start sending me my ASAP titles, but until then I’m going to bitch and complain about that, and the fact that no one is putting a pin in my MAP.

My 2 bytes.

Put a pin on my map so I know where you are.

I did mention that I was a slave to Google right? Well I discovered Frappr today. It’s Google maps with the added feature of allowing everyone to put a pin in a Google map, so I know where your from.

So PLEASE PUT A PIN IN THE MAP SO I KNOW WHERE YOU’RE FROM. IT’S REALLY COOL. (I know I’m begging but COME ON!!!)

CLICK HERE FOR MAP.

Oh yeah, I also discovered this. WAY TO GO APPLE.

My 2 bytes

I miss Legos

Here’s the plan. I want to win the lottery so I can stay at home and play with Legos all day (that way I’ll never meet that special someone and that I will be a UBERDORK for the rest of my life). OK I don’t want to spend all that time playing with Legos but I did find some today and it brought back some memories of my childhood.

Alright, the truth was that I ended in Zellers (It’s a Canadian thing) and I was in the toy section, looking for action figures to use for my next vidcast (if you haven’t seen the first one then I’m extremely disappointed). Anyway, I ended up in the Legos toys and I started to have fond memories of playing with my Legos as a kid.

I remember the hours and hours of fun I would have playing with my Legos building all these different things, from a space ship to a full scale video camera. I remember a time of innocence where I could just sit down and with a bunch of coloured pieces of plastic , I would create my own world, not like the Fisher Price Sesame Street set my grandparents had, where the extra guy was the sniper, (OK I need help). but to create a whole new world of my choosing.

I remember being part of a Lego club, where I would get a monthly newsletter and I would build things for their monthly contests, get my parents to take a picture and send it in. The problem was by the time my dad go around to developing the film, the contest was OVER !!!

I guess I find myself missing part of my innocence. Not having to worry about the rent, bills, groceries or anything like that. I was just a kid, with his Legos and not a care in the world.

My 2 bytes

Tales from the Great White North:The Podcast #8

Show Notes

00:00 Intro

01:29 No breathing into the Microphone.

01:59 My Week

03:21 I pledge to you.

04:23 I’m not going to talk about City of Heroes.

05:56 The Vidcast.

07:08 The greatest phone message ever.

10:04 Women’s Pants

12:04 The word ‘Naked’.

13:07 Ending

My 2 bytes

Now featuring more crap that I pulled out of my ass

I must have been tired because a nap turned into a day log sleep. I ended up sleeping fro 1:00pm to 6:00pm. Not a good thing but I guess my body needed it. Now I know what everyone is thinking. WHERE THE PODCAST? I’m doing some pre-productions stuff for it right now but I will have it recorded and up tomorrow.

Now some is probably saying….”He’s probably busy playing City of Heroes again” and that’s not true….not really. I’ve been playing the City of Villains Beta as well, but I did sleep the whole day away.

Back to the Podcast, the reason why I’m not recording it till Sunday is because I need to edit some sounds bytes from the Dawn and Drew show. Just one actually, it the greatest call in EVER and I want to share it with you. I just hope Dawn and Drew forgive me.

Orginally I wasn’t going to post today but…since I got lazy on Thursday, I decided to post something now and make this promise. FROM NOW ON, THE PHOTO FRIDAY WILL GO UP AT 12:01AM ON FRIDAY. I hope this makes everyone happy (including Jay).

I have one question that needs to be asked though. WHY HASN’T VICS STARTED HER OWN PODCAST? Using a standard microphone hooked into you PC, with the free PodProducer software and Podblaze, producing a podcast is free. Oh and if I can do it, as badly as I can, then someone with talent like Vics can do it as well.

Anyway, I know people are looking for something, so instead of a podcast, with the help of my cell phone, I’ve created my first VIDCAST. So enjoy Tales from the Great White North the Vidcast.

My 2 bytes

Photo Friday (the sign says it all)

My 2 bytes

I was too lazy to write anything so I did this quiz instead (thanks Sheepie)

You are a Social Liberal (60% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (38% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Did I sell out?

I’ll be honest, part of me feels like sold out with yesterday’s post. Some game publisher gets me to advertise their game for nothing. Part of me feels like I sold out, but guess what. I don’t give a rat’s ass.

For all the people who think that I sold out, I would like to remind you that I have the PEPSI logo on the left side of my blog. I would also like to mention that my Secret Geek Blog is a rip off of Google. I’ve also mention that I might as well have Google tattooed to my ass on a couple of occasions.

Let’s face it, everyone wear logos for major corporations and the yahoos out there who think that wearing a parody of that icon means that they haven’t sold out, then they’re just kidding themselves. When someone see a parody of Ronald MacDonald, they still think about that food and basically that’s what the company wants so they still won.

A remember a few years ago when we had the G8 out in Kananaskis, just outside the city. We had a bunch of anti-everything protesters running around the city; protesting this and that. Personally my favorite demonstration was the naked people outside The Gap downtown. I just wish there would have been more women in that protest.

I remember reading a column in the Calgary Sun where she commented that the protesters were wearing Nikes and Gap clothing with the tags, suddenly removed, so don’t tell me everyone doesn’t sell out at one point or another.

Whenever we recommend a product to a friend, don’t we sort of become a minion for that company? Sure we truly believe the endorsement we give but are we not becoming walking Google Ads?

I guess what I’m trying to say is …..CHECK OUT STUBBS THE ZOMBIE FOR THE PC, MAC AND XBOX. MMM BRAINS !!!

Sorry, I put way too much set up for that joke.

My 2 bytes.

MMMM, BRAINS !!!!

I got this e-mail from somebody from a software development company last week. Apparently she took interest in the zombie post that no one else gave a rat’s ass about. I’m not going to go into the details but she mentioned that there’s this game coming out very soon that they developed called Stubbs the Zombie.

I’ve looked through the links to all the martial and this game looks really cool. Now people are saying, “yeah yeah another game with zombies, big deal”, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT. IN THIS GAME YOU GET TO EAT BRAINS!!!! Yeah you get to be the zombie. I admit that I also watched a review of the game on Electric Playground, but it really looks great.

Personally, I’ve always want to wander around in a 1950’s futuristic setting, moaning and eating brains. That’s how your character gains health. HOW COOL IS THAT. MMMM BRAINS. Just like those old movies.

I’ve been looking at the promotional material and you can play Co-op, HOW COOL IS THAT? You and your buddies wandering around in the game EATTING BRAINS !!!. MMM BRAINS.

Honestly I’m really impressed and I hope other people will check it out, its coming out for the PC, Mac, Xbox and………WHAT ???? NO PLAYSTATION 2 Version? Nevermind, forget what I said.

My 2 bytes

Me on my High Horse

Well another day, another dollar. I’m still enjoying the new job despite all tasks that I have to do. Perhaps it’s because of all the tasks I have to do, all the different tasks. From identifying problems with printers taking part in conference calls about what is to be done. Bottom line, I love every minute of it.

I now have the opportunity to dress nicer, instead of wearing something that will only get dirty. I CAN NOW WEAR WHITE WITHOUT FEAR OF GETTING COVERED IN SOME SORT OF CRAP.

While there isn’t too much to say about this subject, I do enjoy getting to use my mind. I want to be a knowledge worker and now I have the opportunity to do so. I’m just thrilled that opportunity has finally come my way.

One of the nice things is the support that I’m getting from the IT guys at head office. They know that I’m new and that I’m starting to learn the ins and outs. They all seem like a very supportive bunch, though I’ve also heard through the grapevine that they’re pleased to have me there, someone with IT knowledge.

As you can guess, I’m still overwhelmed by the situation right now. Part of me still can’t believe that I’m officially in IT now. I’m the computer guy. Me, K. Restoule. WHOO HOO. I DID IT BABY. I’m going to have experience under my belt.

Well in other news, I received a call from some telemarketer about switching my Internet service. It’s still going to be Broadband but from what I can tell, it’s going to be the same cost as my current provider ( but it will cost only $9.95) for the first 3 months, AND after I’m officially sure that it works. I’m switching my phone service to VOIP. VONAGE, here I come. So I’ll be able to call everyone in North America for one low low price. Maybe I’ll call you!

Oh well, I promise that next time, I’ll me more interesting but for now I’ll get off my high horse.

My 2 bytes.

Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast #7

Show Notes

00:00 Intro

01:12 Darth Friggin Vader

01:32 How the week went.

03:42 Looking for guests on the podcast

05:00 The Pause Feature

05:26 Been watching the first season of Smalleville.

07:33 Nicolas Cage naming his son Ka-el

10:07 I’m hooked on City of Heroes.

12:38 Oh people are dreaming about me now.

14:32 I can’t think of anything else to say.

15:48 Ending

My 2 bytes

Photo Friday (The 11th commandment, thou shall use Windows)

"Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been quite some time since my last confession."

"Yes my son, what do you wish to confess"

"I've surfed the internet using Firefox, read my e-mail using Thunderbird and I use Open Office."

"For you pennace, you must remove the offending software, convert all your MP3's to WMA and buy Microsoft Office."

"But.... I use a Mac"

"SPAWN OF SATAN!!!!!!"

My 2 bytes.

I know I was going to say something but....

When I started my new job, I ordered a date planer through the company to make notes and jot down new ideas and concerns whenever they come up so I don’t forget about them. Now I think I need to do the same thing for my blog. I know I had a good idea for tonight’s blog post, but for the life of me, I cannot remember what the heck it was.

Perhaps having to do 2 hours of tech support with my mom over the phone had something to do with it. Maybe it was my excitement over my DVD’s FINALLY arriving in the mail from Zip. Ever since they opened a second distribution center IN CALGARY, they’ve been dropping the ball on a regular basis. I was getting my DVD’s quicker, when sent from Ottawa than from the centre in Calgary. Personally I think that’s sad. Did I mention that I live in Calgary (In the same frigging city as the centre?) So now I finally get to start watching the first season of Smallville.

Maybe, I was going to go off about how I bought the first season of DVD of Battlestar Galactica and discovered the box set included the original mini series (something that I already bought months ago GRRR).

Perhaps I was going to talk about The E-Ring, a new show that I really enjoy. Seeing the inner workings of the Pentagon and you still get to see good triumph over evil. Too bed real life couldn’t be like the E-Ring or else Bin Ladden would have been put behind bars years ago.

I’m not sure what the heck I was suppose to write about but when I figure out what the heck it was, I’ll let you all know.

My 2 bytes

Never a cop around....

The good news is that I made the transition to the day shift with little problems. The bad news is that now I’m going to work and going home with everyone else. RUSH HOUR SUCKS!!!

The trip to work wasn’t that big a deal. I was ‘up and at em’ by 6:30am, all washed up and ready to go by 7:10am. Catch the bus fine. No biggie.

The issue is coming home. Get to the bus stop and I’m waiting. Some more people show up and are waiting.  The bus comes every fifteen minutes during this time of day so I think ‘no biggie’. Then these guys show up and just by one look at them, I knew that there was trouble. They stand right by me, and one of the pulls out a JOINT and they start smoking away, passing it along to one another.

Now I’m not the type of person who feels that he has the right to force his views on someone else, BUT on the other hand, I have the right to stand at a bus stop, minding my own business and not have to put up with a bunch of laughing idiots passing a joint around while I get to smell that ‘distinct’ order.

In my mind’s eye, I kept picturing a couple of police cruisers showing up, the police coming out and slamming those dumb asses head against the hood of the cruiser over and over again. Bottom line I wished a film crew from COPS would have shown up, then we knew that something interesting would have happened to these guys. All this while I would be singing “Bad boy, bad boys. What you gonna do, when they come for you”. GO SMOKE YOU POT AT HOME DUMB ASSES.

My 2 bytes.

Tomorrow K. Restoule V 2.0 starts

Well folks this is it, my last late night weekday post for awhile. As I mentioned before, I now have a new IT job and tomorrow morning I officially the ‘Technical Liaison’. I need to go to bed, but since I’m like a puppy and need constant attention, I decided to do a quick post about it. Basically I’m hoping that my desk will be waiting for me, when I get there tomorrow. I still don’t have one.

Anyway I need to head to bed. I’ll give more details tomorrow after work ( when I get home at 5:00pm instead of 11:00pm) Wish me luck

My 2 bytes.

Whoops, She did it again

I spent most of Turkey Day (Thanksgiving) watching episodes of Angel and The Sopranos and the evening playing City of Heroes online, so basically you would thing….ok this guy would have nothing to write about and you would be right (except for someone me finding another player who named his superhero “Nacho Cheese”). So I’m sitting at my desk and wondering what to write about it, and now I’m convinced that even God wants my blog to succeed. I check my RSS links (don’t ask, I’m not taking Geek tonight) and I find a story on CNN about Britney Spears, EBay and a jewel incrusted bra. Sometimes, it’s just too damn easy.

Alright so now we have Little Miss White Trailer Trash selling her jewel encrusted undergarments on EBay? Is she trying to be the next Madonna or something? Can we expect to see a sex book by Britney? Was that kiss on MTV between Madonna and Britney really passing the Skank Crown from one generation to another?

Ok let’s look at some facts. Since the MTV thing, Madonna has really calmed down. She’s not causing trouble in the press and she’s even writing children’s books. This is a long cry from the Madonna who did the sex book and was saying “Fuck” over and over again on Letterman. She’s trying to be a respectable mom.

Now let’s look at Britney. She’s turned into this skanky whore who did a really slimy reality show. She’s making Christina look good now. (Then again, compared to Paris, they’re both pretty conservative). Between the albino snake thing, and making school uniforms look hot, she’s getting pretty bad. I feel bad for school administrators about that. A uniform that was suppose to make young girls look less like sex objects, now has the opposite effect.

Now let’s look at this bra now. This thing looks pretty expensive and I’m wondering who has taken credit for the creation of this thing? It sort of reminds me of the time Madonna gave Letterman her panties and she wanted him to sniff them on air. While the idea of auctioning this stuff in order to help hurricane victims seems like a noble thing, but you have to wonder, was the bra just a ploy for publicity? She has lots of cash. Couldn’t she also written a cheque and kept the bra?  I guess the chairs aren’t selling well.

While doing about 5 minutes of research I did find some other Britney items which bear honorable mention. First thing is the BRA TOAST. Yes folks the toast is back. I’m still trying to decide if I should quit my job and start selling toast on EBay The other items (and I think this is the future of EBay) is the Britney Spears Noodle Bra. Yes folks, all that time wasted as a child doing macaroni art has now paid off. You too can make a bra with pasta.

Well if you excuse me, City of Heroes awaits.

My 2 bytes.

Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast 6

SHOW NOTES

Intro:

Personal Life

I’ll be starting my first ½ week at my new job on Wednesday

Trying to win an X Box 360. Need to drink more Pepsi.

My blog seems to be attracting smart asses. (You know who you are).

I’m getting domestic. Trying to cook new things. Copykat.com

I started playing City of Heroes.

Commerical

The World around us.

$44, 000 MP3 Player

People went to jail for posting racist remarks.

The most advanced toilet in the world.
(Check the video out)
The Obese woman who got stuck on one of those airplane toilets.

Porno for the religous

End

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I have BLOOD on my hands !!!

You kill for revenge.
That is because you have lost something or
someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem
to get over the loss that marked your soul, and
the only solution is to go after the one person
who brought all this pain to you. Chances are
you are angry inside and you bottle everything
up and don't talk to anyone about it. People
may want to help, but you think that they can
never understand your pain and only get
frustrated because of this. But it is important
to see all that you have left and be thankful
of that even if you have lost something great.
It may not be true that Times heals all wounds,
but with time and talking about your feelings,
maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote: "You can close your eyes to
reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J.
Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and
teary eyes


What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh I ripped this off from April. I'm giving her credit because SHE'S A KILLER TOO !!!

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Photo Friday (Pee a boo)

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Yadaa Yadda (sorry)

First thing that I learned today was that no one gives a rat’s ass about zombies. (Note to self: No more zombie posts). Oh well. I could talk about the first night of the return of HOCKEY but my team, the Calgary Flames, had their asses handed to them by Minnesota. So I won’t talk about that.

So let’s see. I guess this is going to be a Yadda Yadda post. MMM I remember making a smart-alecky comment to Hugh about the use of Yadda Yadda and I was put in my place. Oh well I will now Yadda Yadda away.

First thing, I found this cool panoramic picture of Los Angeles on Digg. I’m impressed; it looks a lot like Los Santos in Grand Theft Auto: San Andrea. Who knew that they based those cities on real places?

I also found some funny geek quotes on Digg but they seem so lame. The first one is something normal people will not understand (I’ll give you a hint, it’s Binary). Personally I liked “What?!? I'm NOT A Dork...Just Special!” and “1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d” I’m such a DORK.

On the serious side, there’s going to be a summit for people (and their friends) of people who have been sued by the RIAA. I think that it’s real sad that this is going on. That the RIAA is allowed to ruin people lives. Why don’t they just quit it and let the tech people drag their sorry asses to the “money tree” just like every other time. Like with the invention of the VCR, Cable TV, even Radio. It’s just pathetic.

What I really like though is how people are standing up against these weasels and how they’ve had enough. One person who I’m really impressed with is Tanya Andersen. She’s a disabled mother in Oregon who’s COUNTERSUING those bastards, under something called the RICO act. This is a powerful law that was created to fight the mob and since what the RIAA is going is basically extortion. She wants a trial by jury and who’s going to side against the scumbags of the RIAA over a real person.

Oh I hear the RIAA and the MPAA have a new business model. Check it out here. (heh heh).

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ZOMBIES !!!!!!!!!!

I’ve been thinking about zombies all day. I keep singing “Zombie Jesus” to Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode. Actually it was something I heard on Dawn and Drew, but nonetheless, I keep thinking about zombies.

Late last week, I started bugging people, by asking if Jesus came back from the dead, did that mean that he was a zombie. Again I’m ripping off Dawn and Drew, but it was something that I started teasing people about. Needless to say, that Jesus was not a zombie and not only because Jesus can do math (again, ripping off Dawn and Drew), but I don’t remember any part of the new testament where Jesus was walking around Israel, moaning and saying “brains, must eat brains”.

Well, since I’m a self confessed videogame junkie, I do enjoy the Resident Evil games, but, while I haven’t played 4 yet, I do like the others, which gives me a change to kill ZOMBIES. I have 1 to three and the 2 online games, and let me tell you, that when the lights are out and a zombie dog jumps through a window, you nearly crap yourself and drop your controller and then die. It’s a real piss off.

Now not everyone owns a videogame console but most people do own PC’s (if you don’t then how the hell are you reading this?). I found this simple game which allows you to kill zombies. OK it’s really crappy, but please have fun with Zombie 4 ok?

Alright perhaps, you’re into simulation type games, I can help you here as well. I present the Zombie Infection Simulation. Here you can watch as the people in your town fight the evil zombies as they attack and bite people and infect each other. You can even decide if your people can have guns or not.

Perhaps it’s just me, but this post does seem a bit weak. Then again, it might be from that strange infection I got from that person biting me …asdsfklkjhadsfhsdeww brains……..BRAIN….MMMMMM BRAINS…………………..


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Geeks should not be allowed to name stuff

I was reading some news site and they were talking about a 10th planet and moon discovered by astronomers. Now I’ve read about the existence of this planet before but now it appears that is has a moon and they’ve officially named the planet and that moon. They named it Xena and Gabrielle. Ok they named the planet Xena awhile ago and it was possible to not make the connection between the name and the TV but to name the moon Gabrielle, that’s just too much. This is getting pathetic people.

Personally I think I could have come up with some better names for this planet and moon so I made a list of names.

Starsky and Hutch: We could appease all the fans of bad 70’s cop shows.

Letterman and Shaffer: For all the late night TV fans.

Oprah and Dr. Phil: Oprah’s ego has gotten big enough.

Stern and Quivers: For fans of morning talk radio.

Bob and Doug: For us Canadians.

Kirk and Spock: Not all the geeks are Xena fans.

Scully and Mulder: Does the planet and moon exist or is it a consparicy.

Connery and Moore: For Bond fans.

Gates and Jobs: For the IT people.

Pitts and Jolie: Aren’t they the couple to watch right now.


Ok these names suck, but then again Xena and Gabrielle are not much better. I know that it’s tradition for the people who discover these things, get to name them but come on? Get your head out of you ass buddy and come up with a real name.

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Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast #5

SHOW NOTES


Intro

Hockey is back.

Parents are not coming down for Thanksgiving.

I miss the Taco Bell Chihuahua

How do you spell Chihuahua

He-man has hair like a girl.

The guy at EB Games had girly hair.

Gay men working at EB Games.

Ozzy Incenses

One day I’ll be on Oprah.

Oprah is full of herself.

WaveSource. (Michael Moore/ Anne Coulter) on the same page (the humour of google.

Startup.com. A boring documentary.

A slow and painful death.


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Photo Friday (BAD DOG, BAD DOG)

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Lighten up, flight attendant.

Has anyone seen the new Jodi Foster movie yet? I can’t even remember what it’s called and I haven’t been in the mood to go to the movies but I might go see this one. I’m thinking about seeing it because three organizations for flight attendants are pissed off at this film.

Apparently three different union are calling for a boycott of the movie “Flightplan” (I looked the movie title up) because oh the way the flight attendants are portrayed in the movie. Ok now flight attendant people, listen to me. Take a damn headset off, stop eating those damn peanuts and get a life. THIS IS A MOVIE, NOT REAL LIFE. I don’t remember hearing the Martians protecting War of the Worlds, by saying that they were portrayed incorrectly.(Ok bad example). Let’s try it this way. WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHEN DAVID SPADE WAS DOING THE “BYE BYE” SKIT ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.

I’m reading about these annoyed flight attendants, talking how if there was another 9/11, that no one would listen to them because no one would trust them because of this movie. Excuse me? Now I think that flight attendants should be on oxygen during the flight because it’s obvious that the altitude is killing brain cells, now get me a blanket and a drink and more of those peanuts.

Quit taking yourselves too seriously. Why is everyone so damn touchy these days? OK everyone on the planet earth listen to me. Everyone will now have an Oreo cookie and a glass of milk and RELAX.

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Canada Still wants its MTV

Once upon a time, in a land call the United States, there was a TV channel called MTV. Now MTV aired music videos and their viewers were happy. Meanwhile in another land, further north, there was a TV channel called Much Music and they also aired music videos to the people of the north. Now the people of the north, who were called Canadians, also wanted to watch MTV but the people who owned Much Music, said that people were only allowed to watch their crappy TV channel.

Many years later, another TV company said “Hey people in Canada want to watch MTV, let’s make a deal with them, bring MTV to Canada and everyone will be happy”, so they did and MTV Canada was born.

But, not everyone was happy. The no talent hacks who owned Much Music and all their lame ass knock offs were mad. The evil, small minded minions at CHUM Limited said “We cannot have Canadian watch, something other than us. They must only watch the crap we feed them and nothing else”, so they started to scheme. Scheme and scheme, they did for a couple of years until they counted up all their pennies and bought the TV company that was partnering with MTV in Canada and told MTV that they were not allowed to show their programs unless it was through them. So once again, the people of Canada were forced to watch the crap Much Music was showing them.

Then today, the people at MTV came back to Canada to proclaim that they had a new partner in Canada. CTV Inc. Now CTV was a far bigger TV company than CHUM Limited and they couldn’t just buy this company like the last one. Then another proclamation was made. MTV now gave exclusive rights to all their programs to CTV Inc, which meant that Much Music could no longer air some of MTV’s programming.

Now the corporate weasels at CHUM made a proclamation of their own. They wished CTV well but that turning their TalkTV channel into MTV Canada might cause some issues with the CRTC. Now I guess we will have to wait and see.

Personally, I hope CHUM shuts the hell up and learns from this hard lesson before CTV’s parent company, Bell Canada Enterprises gets pissed off and DROPS A FUCKING SATELLITE FROM ORBIT AND SMASHES IT ONTO THEIR LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT BUILDING IN TORONTO. That’s what CHUM deserves for turning my favorite local TV station A-Channel Calgary, into one of those cookie cutter piece of shit CITY TV channels.

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The evolution of my Podcast

As everyone who frequents this blog knows (at least I hope they know), I do a weekly podcast. The podcast is still in it’s infancy but giving it time to evolve, I think it could be something as successful as my blog. Well I’ve come up with some ideas for my podcast that I want to share with everyone and see if they’re good ideas.

Idea #1. Get Paul Sr. from American Chopper as my co-host. I could say something to set him off and the whole Podcast could be him SCREAMING at me. Isn’t that why half the people watch the show anyway? Just to watch Paul Sr. and Jr. scream at each other?

Idea #2. Call one of those sex lines and ask for recipes. The problem is that at x dollars a minute, I’ll want some quick recipes.

Idea #3. Do the podcast naked. Wait I do that already, never mind (I’m kidding, I SWEAR)

Idea #4.Call up Adam Curry (the self proclaimed father of podcasting) and tell him that in his ITunes picture he looks like Barry Manilow, if he was a preacher.

Idea #5. Lots of fart noises.

Idea #6. Do Podcast as cool, “Rappin K” character. (and then I’ll shoot myself.)

Idea #7. Talk about my brief marriage to Jennifer Lopez.

Idea #8. YODELCAST !!!!

Idea #9. Have a segment when I talk about one of my pairs of pants.

Idea #10. Inhale helium during the Podcast.

Again, my podcast is a work in progress. I hope one day, that I’ll be as successful as Dawn and Drew and I’ll be able to quit my job and work as a professional podcaster. Oh well, until that day, there’s always Mary Kay.

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Blame Canada

Now sing along….

“Blame Canada! Blame Canada! With all their hockey hubaloo and that bitch Anne Murray too. Blame Canada! Shame on Canada! “ Yes indeed, we must blame Canada for all the potty mouth that Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman were spewing during that South Park movie but what else can we blame Canada for?

Everyone looks at hockey as a Canadian sport but guess what? So is Basketball. Yes it was invented by James Naismith. He came up with the idea since there weren’t any sports that could be played indoors during the winter. Oh and if you need advice on what to do when it’s cold, ask a Canadian. Oh yeah he also invented the football helmet. Blame Canada for that.

There was another Canadian who liked to challenge the status quo. This person was Frederick Banting. This guy had some interesting theories and with the help of a single assistant managed to invent, despite being under funded, Insulin. Blame Canada for that.

Now don’t you hate it when teenagers spend hours on the phone? Well that’s because it was invented by Alexander Graham Bell, another Canadian. Oh and he also invented the metal detector.  Blame Canada for that.

Joseph-Armand Bombardier was this French Canadian guy who liked to dabble in different things, even as a child. So it was no wonder that a Canadian would invent the snowmobile. No surprise there but did you know that the company he created still exists and now manufactures mass transit rail systems, high speed trains and Learjets. Blame Canada for that.

Ever to go an Imax and suffer some motion sickness because the screen fills you field of vision? Well blame Canada for that too.

Basically you can blame Canada for a lot of stuff, so feel free to point that finger of blame at us. We don’t mind. Now let’s sing some more…

“We need to form a full assault, it's Canada's fault! Don't blame me, for my son Stan, He saw the darn cartoon, and now he's off to join the klan! And my boy eric once, had my picture on his shelf, but now when I see him, he tells me to fuck myself.’”

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Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast #4

SHOW NOTES

Intro.

What the hell am I going to talk about?

I’m trying to be like those lame ass morning radio shows.

Playing Hot Shots Golf on my PSP.

Undercover Brother. What a crappy movie.

Commercial

Gmail address

Where am I going to work?

Why is it that salespeople seem to talk out of their ass?

Mom and Dad are coming down for Thanksgiving.

Martha vs. Donald.

End.


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Photo Friday (You know your in Canada when...)

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Dr Cheryl asked me to do it.

Alright, I received this via e-mail from Dr. Cheryl, the relationship doctor. I’m suppose to fill it out, send it back and e-mail it some people. Instead I’ve posted it here and I’ll do some tagging after.

1. What color are your kitchen plates? Black (I got them from IKEA)

2. What book are you reading now? I’ve stopped reading since I’ve become addicted to Podcasts.

3. What's on your mouse pad? Don’t have a mouse pad. I use a optical mouse.

4. What's your favorite board game? The Game of Life, I like making car noises as I move the pieces on the board.

5. Favorite magazine? Wired.

6. Favorite smell? Napalm in the morning. It smells like victory.

7. Least favorite smell? Poop.

8. What's the first thing you think of in the morning? Please let it be Saturday

9. Favorite color(s)? Red and White (Like my flag)

10. Least favorite color? Pink, it threatens my manhood.

11. How many rings before you answer the phone? Depends on what the call display says.

12. Future children's names? I don’t need that kind of pressure. GRRRR

13. Favorite alcoholic drink? Beer eh.

14. What is your sign and birthday? Aquarius and Jan 22, Now everyone knows and I expect lots of present.

15. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yeah, I like broccoli.

16. If you could have any job what would it be? ??? TV Network Executive.

17. If you could have any color hair what would it be? Never mind colour, I just want it to stay in place !!!!

18. Is the glass half full or half empty? Depends on what’s in it.

19. Favorite movie? Escape from New York.

20. Do you type with the right fingers on the keys? I believe so.

21. What's under your bed? Dirty Socks

22. What is your favorite number? 97

23. What is your single biggest fear? Dying poor.

24. Person(s) most likely to respond? Good question.

25. Who is least likely to respond? Good Quesion.

26. Favorite CD? Currently Fallen by Evanescence. I’m in love with Amy Lee2

7. Favorite TV show? Battlestar Galactica , the new series. Hey even Newsweek says it’s the best show on Television right now so give me a break.

28. Ketchup or mustard? On the 8th day, God created Mustard.

29. Hamburgers or Hot dogs? Hamburgers

30. Favorite soft drink? Scroll up to the top and look to your left.

31. The best place you have ever been? New York.

32. The most amazing sight? Manhattan from the top of the Empire State Building.

33. What screen saver is on your computer right now? Cows and Steak, courtesy the Late Show with David Letterman,

34. Burger king or McDonald's? Ummm I saw Supersize me and I’m not going into those places anymore.

35. Favorite pet? Charlie. I still think about my dog, even though he died years ago. He’d better be waiting for me in Heaven or I’ll be PISSED!!!

Alright it’s tagging time, except the e-mail never gave the number of people I should tag. Oh well.

Hugh, Vics and Elmo

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Vics requested it (sorta)

So this drunk guy walks into a retailer, complaining about how his cell phone hasn’t worked in 6 months. The salesperson says blaa blaa blaa. To be honest, I’m not sure what the heck was said but then the drunk guy smashes his phone, takes out the sim card and eats it. Ok these memory cards are really small, (about the size of a postage stamp) and they can easily be removed so you can transfer your contacts from phone to phone, but you have to wonder what the hell was this guy thinking.

I have an old cell phone, that I would LOVE to take a hammer to and beat the living shit out of it, but I’m socially responsible and I’m going to dispose of it properly. Personally I believe that it’s the cell carriers that are the real assholes. I bought a new cell phone recently and it didn’t work properly, so I tried to take it back. When I got there, they fed me some line about the engineer having to be there and that he wasn’t going to be in that day, due to a car accident. Well after some crap the next day, I received my new phone and everything was fine until….I received my phone bill and discovered $45 in charges to 411. I looked at the bill and all the calls were within a 3 hour period AND the day coincided with when I had the faulty phone. The problem was when I called them about it, the stupid robot bitch at customer service kept repeating the same old bullshit about how it was my call, yadda yadda yadda, but this story does have a happy ending though. I was getting pissed off and insisted on speaking to a manager (it was that or threaten to come down there and shove the phone up her ass), I spoke with the manager and told her about the bad phone, she then double checked something and I was credited the $45. Apparently when you dial 411 and request a number, they text you that number back, but since I never dialed it, no text message was sent. That’s my cell story.

There are people out there who also take their hatred of cell phones too seriously These freaks are ripping cell phones from people’s hand and destroying them. Looks like someone really needs to work out some issues. Personally if someone tried that with me, I would be morally obligated to beat the living shit out of them

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