That’s it. NEXT YEAR I’m NOT SPENDING CHRISTMAS ALONE !!!!!

Alright I’ve use to be alone for Christmas, you get that phone call from mom and dad and that’s about it but something this year really pissed me off. Oh and I blame City of Heroes for it.

In the past, I would enjoy the time off, chat with some people and be done with it but this year; I was playing a lot of City of Heroes (COH) and City of Villains (COV). I would play and group with people who would talk about having to take a break to ‘Play Santa’, ’Spend time with the kids’ and so on. REMINDING ME THAT I’m ALONE !!!! Even my Real Life online friend (I knew her before Al Gore invented the Internet), was home for Christmas. Basically I’m depressed.

I’m not feeling well, (not nearly as bad as last Christmas). I’m coughing and I’m feeling broke. I need a hug people. I’m sad and lonely. I even slept a whole day out of my 4 day weekend. I’m seriously bummed out.

I know that people come to my blog for a quick chuckle at my rants about whatever but my heart isn’t in it. I’m woozy as well. I spent the last 3 hours in bed, trying to fall asleep and only managing to cough every once in a while. I need to shave. I need the sun. I need ……… to start all over.

I’m lying in bed wishing that I could go back to grade 2 and start all over again. Fix all the mistakes in life and ….do something different. Perhaps I wouldn’t be the same person today. Perhaps I wouldn’t be alone at Christmas. Perhaps………

I know I’m bumming everyone out but I’m seriously depressed right now. I’m feeling alone right now. All I can think about is how I don’t seem to matter right now. How……..

My 2 bytes