Thursday, December 29, 2005

I'm sick but back.

First thing is thank you for all the nice words about my last post. Oh and if you didn't comment, SCREW YOU *SMIRK*.

I'm still sick but I'm back on my feet again. I would like to thank Benylin for making cough medicine that works. I also want to thank the people at Canada Dry for making good ginger ale, but lastly, and most importantly, I want to thank my Mommy for sending me the care package of BAKED GOODIES that i received yesterday. This is proof of what I already knew. My MOMMY LOVES ME.

Ok my ISP switched over and I killed the land line phone. I don't use it much anyway and the only people who call me on that line want me to particpae in a survey or want money, screw em. I'm already impressed with the 4.5MB/s download as opposed to the 1.5MB/s I was getting with the DSL. This means I can now download porn 3 times as fast. WOOT !!!!

Here's the deal. I getting my Broadband for $10 a month for 3 months and then after that I'll switch to the $40 Extremely fast 7Mb/s and VOIP serice for $40 a month. So when I get the VOIP, there's nothing stopping me from calling people. So when the VOIP comes up I'll be make some phone calls, hopefully to you. You have 3 months to think about it. Do you want a strange Canadian calling you? E-mail me and let me know.

My 2 bytes.

Monday, December 26, 2005

That’s it. NEXT YEAR I’m NOT SPENDING CHRISTMAS ALONE !!!!!


Alright I’ve use to be alone for Christmas, you get that phone call from mom and dad and that’s about it but something this year really pissed me off. Oh and I blame City of Heroes for it.

In the past, I would enjoy the time off, chat with some people and be done with it but this year; I was playing a lot of City of Heroes (COH) and City of Villains (COV). I would play and group with people who would talk about having to take a break to ‘Play Santa’, ’Spend time with the kids’ and so on. REMINDING ME THAT I’m ALONE !!!! Even my Real Life online friend (I knew her before Al Gore invented the Internet), was home for Christmas. Basically I’m depressed.

I’m not feeling well, (not nearly as bad as last Christmas). I’m coughing and I’m feeling broke. I need a hug people. I’m sad and lonely. I even slept a whole day out of my 4 day weekend. I’m seriously bummed out.

I know that people come to my blog for a quick chuckle at my rants about whatever but my heart isn’t in it. I’m woozy as well. I spent the last 3 hours in bed, trying to fall asleep and only managing to cough every once in a while. I need to shave. I need the sun. I need ……… to start all over.

I’m lying in bed wishing that I could go back to grade 2 and start all over again. Fix all the mistakes in life and ….do something different. Perhaps I wouldn’t be the same person today. Perhaps I wouldn’t be alone at Christmas. Perhaps………

I know I’m bumming everyone out but I’m seriously depressed right now. I’m feeling alone right now. All I can think about is how I don’t seem to matter right now. How……..

My 2 bytes

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Twas the night before....aw crap

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the apartment, not a creature was stirring, not even my computer mouse.

My PC fans  buzzed so quietly, keep my machine nice and cool for a night of downloading.

Downloading Bit Torrents, of all the episodes of Stacked. I didn’t care if the show was any good, HEY IT’S PAM ANDERSON Dammit.

My Satellite box with one growing light. Even though I put the machine in vacation mode I’m still getting Tech TV and that’s my favorite channel so I still get joy from my TV.

In the refridgerator lay 2 boxes of pizza. Two for one because I thought, why the hell not.

GRRRR, CUT, CUT, CUT.

Ok this is going nowhere. I just don’t have a parody of Twas the night before Christmas in my head.

So basically. Merry Christmas to one and all.

My 2 bytes.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

My 12 days of Christmas

Last year I posted the 12 days of Christmas by Bob and Doug MacKenzie and someone from Manchester called me a lazy sot or something like that. So this year I thought I would rip someone else off but I’m feeling creative (can you believe it) so t his year I made my own version.

On the first day of Christmas someone e-mailed me.
A jpeg of  pornography

On the second day of Christmas someone e-mailed me.
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the third day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the fourth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the fifth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me.
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the sixth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the seventh day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Seven copyright violation notices
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the eighth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Eight Free IPod offers
Seven copyright violation notices
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the ninth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Nine attachments from Mommy
Eight Free IPod offers
Seven copyright violation notices
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the tenth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Ten refinance offers
Nine attachments from Mommy
Eight Free IPod offers
Seven copyright violation notices
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the eleventh day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
Eleven offers to meet women in my area who want sex
Ten refinance offers
Nine attachments from Mommy
Eight Free IPod offers
Seven copyright violation notices
Six scams from Africa
Five pieces of SPYWARE.
Four Dirty Jokes
Three Chain Letters
Two offers for Viagra
And a jpeg of pornography

On the twelfth day of Christmas someone e-mailed me
NOTHING !!!
I FINALLY GOT MY SPAM BLOCKER CONFIGURED AND I’M NOT GETTING ANY MORE CRAP

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

My 2 bytes  

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

BLAA BLAA is worse than YADDA YADDA

I’m resorting to blaa blaa today. This is beyond Yadda Yadda. Yadda Yadda at least has some sort of meaning behind it but Blaa Blaa has nothing.

I’m suffering from a brain cramp and my blog is suffering because of it. Maybe its my lack of…. I DON’T KNOW. Maybe I’m having midlife crisis or something. Not that I’m at midlife crisis age but I’m still feeling BLAA BLAA.

I’m looking for something to write about. I finally watched the last episode of The Amazing Race and I thought it was cool they went through Montreal and Toronto but so what.

I read about the illegal NYC Transit strike and I think BLAA BLAA.

I’m so BLAA BLAA that I don’t even what is interesting. It’s possible that it’s because of the lack of TV but isn’t TV suppose to ROT your brain. Then again I’ve been downloading my shows and I even have an episode of Top Gear waiting for me. I think that one of Vic’s favorite shows. I was watching American Chopper on my PSP yesterday and seeing Paul Sr. in a Kilt was amusing, especially when he was driving a scoter and trying to prevent it from flapping up. All these interesting things and all I can thing of is BLAA BLAA.

I guess I’ll leave you with Drunken Santa. Use the arrow keys to control him, (For the record, I got this from my mom)

My 2 bytes/

Monday, December 19, 2005

I got FREE CRAP

I’m been really, really bad with how I’ve been updating my blog. I guess I needed a vacation (or some hottie to give me a good spanking). However I have returned. I’m here to share my unique look on the world.

Well guess what? I finally got FREE CRAP, thanks to my blog. I kid you not. Someone sent me free crap. Remember a few months ago when someone asked me to talk about a videogame called Stubbs the Zombie? Well late last week I got a free copy of that game for the Xbox. Too bad I don’t own an X-Box but even a bonehead like me has proven that you too can get FREE CRAP from blogging.

So now I would like to take the time to thank M80 for sending me a free copy of the game. It has a good home now and someone is enjoying it. I gave it to a good friend.

Basically this means that I can be bought. So here is a list of the companies that can buy my blog for free crap and the free crap I expect.

SONY : Playstation 3, A Big ass HDTV
APPLE : IPod with Video.
MOLSON :Just drive the truck of beer to my door and I’ll be happy.
CALGARY FLAMES: A pair of season tickets would be nice.
ROYAL BANK OF CANADA: Just send money, lots and lots of money.
NISSIAN: One of those Extera’s would be cool.

Now if your company isn’t on this list, don’t be discouraged, send me free crap and I’ll write about you too.

My 2 bytes.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Shy Pee

First thing, sorry for not posting for a couple of days. All I have to say is that I don’t have a problem and I can quit playing City of Heroes ANYTIME I WANT TO. I just don’t want to right now. That’s all.

I heard about this on a podcast called Infected and I thought WOW. Apparently over 4 million people in the UK suffer from this disorder. I’m talking about Paruresis, more commonly known as ‘Shy Pee’. These people feel guilty peeing in public restrooms. So basically 6% of the population of the UK cannot pee with people watching them.

I remember as a child I had a traumatic experience when I was on a train and I had to pee and my dad insisted on being there with me because he was mad that I interrupted him. So I’m nervous and nothing happens and he smacked me for it. So if anyone should have ‘Shy Pee’, it should be me.

I actually suffer from a similar condition at work, but its not called ‘Shy Pee’. It’s called ‘Q.L.A.M.D.Y.F syndrome’ or ‘Quit Looking At My Deal You Freak.’ With morons looking into the next urinal, why wouldn’t people be embarrassed by this? What possesses some bonehead to lean over and check out another guys business?

I remember once that I walked in and the guy was standing at the urinal with his pants around his ankles and he was going commando. I’m still trying to find out if I can sue for damages. Now I know that in Happy Days, they had meetings in the Men’s bathroom in Arnolds, but people should be not be hanging around there unless you have a strange desire to smell poop.

I have a theory about the 4 million in the U.K. now. I don’t think they’re scared to pee in public. I think they’re scared that George Michael will walk in. Remember the bathroom in Beverly Hills?

My 2 bytes.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast 14



SHOW NOTES


Intro

Blaa Blaa Blaa Typical Weekend

Cyberbooty

Richard Pryor (Rest in Peace)

No Satellite TV

HDTV

Healthy Pop Tarts

I am just babbling.

I cannot type properly

My 2 bytes

Thursday, December 08, 2005

I need a vacation

It’s so close to the weekend and yet so friggin far !!!! I can’t take much more of this. I need a haircut. I need a long shower. I need to get up earlier. For the past couple of days, I’ve slept in and managed to get to work, ‘just in time’. We’re talking zero minutes to spare here. For the past 2 days I’ve come in unshaven and my hair isn’t the greatest right now. I need a haircut. I should have time to do that this Saturday.

The problem with the ‘energy’ running on empty is that you can’t think of anything interesting to write about. I can’t seem to generate some cute little bit about glow in the dark condoms or anything like that. Usually I could come up with such a story without trying but now all everyone sees in my write is fatigue. I almost feel ancient.

Actually people are the warehouse have noticed the same thing. I feel so tired and it shows. I want sleep. I want to enjoy life for a change. I swear that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take a vacation. I’m feeling trapped right now.

The thing is that it’s not the job. I’m happy with the job. It’s the hole that has become my life. For the longest time, I worked and barely got by. I’m looking forward to the day when I’ll actually have some money left over at the end of a pay period. This living from pay cheque to pay cheque thing is for the birds. I never seem able to put any cash away.

I think this is one of the reasons why I’ve killed the Satellite and now I’m switching to a cheaper ISP. I’m also going to kill the land line phone and work of my cell for a bit, though I’m giving VOIP a serious consideration.

Basically I feel that the great bird of happiness has taken a shit on my head. Some people say that it’s good luck for a bird to poop on you but I don’t feel lucky.

Anyway work calls and I have to answer that call.

My 2 bytes.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A quick Yadda Yadda

Well it’s been the first day and things are fine. For some reason I still have 1 channel on my dish and its G4TechTV. YAAA I can still get my geek fix.

I’ve downloaded last week’s episode of Commander and Chief since I missed it, and last Thursday’s Letterman, the one with Oprah, which has to be a keeper. I’ll try and download this weeks Commander and Chief tomorrow morning.

I know this post is just yadda yadda but I’m tired. I spent too much time playing my City of Heroes game. The really sad thing is that I created a blog for my Silent Moon character. I think I need professional help.

My 2 bytes.

Monday, December 05, 2005

My insane experiment

Ok I really did it today. I officially went over the edge and did something rash. I cancelled my Satellite TV. Ok I didn’t ‘cancel’ cancel it. Instead I had Expressvu put my Satellite box in vacation mode. This way I don’t have to pay for something that I’m not watching that much anyway. Here’s my plan. I’ve already been doing this to a certain extent with some TV shows anyway so I figured why not just do it with all my TV shoes?

Here’s the thing. I never watch live TV anymore. I like having the power of pausing, fast forwarding and rewinding. This is pretty much the same thing as a DVD. Last summer I was doing this with episodes of Battlestar Galactica and Rescue Me (both shows rock) so why not start doing this with all my shows?

So I axed the Satellite for the next few months. I’m going to give it a at least 6 weeks, which is the minimum time my Dish can be in vacation mode to try my little experiment. I’m hoping that it will work out and I won’t bother using the Dish anymore. Like I said. I never watch live TV anymore.

I’m having good luck so far with my TV shows with the exception of Letterman. I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to watch Dave anymore, since no local station carries him. The rabbit ears are not going to do it, thought I’m not going to give up without a fight.

I’ll keep everyone posted on my progress.

My 2 bytes.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast 13



SHOW NOTES

Intro

My last 2 weeks

Student Loan people are assholes.

Almost Christmas and I feel so blaaa.

Free Dictionary.com

The Tag board is gone.

The Manual for Ace Combat 5

Rude People and the Laundry Room



My 2 bytes