Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I'm sorry old lady

I would like to say sorry to the old lady who was walking right behind me. I swear, if I knew she was there, I would have held my fart back until she was gone. I’m sorry that you were in the direct path of my stink bomb. I’m sorry that your dog was in the path as well. I’m sure given time; your dog’s fur will grow back. As well, I’m sorry about your newspaper catching fire, but newspapers are inexpensive and I’m sure you could have easily bought another one. Again I’m very sorry about your hair changing colour, but you could always dye it. I swear, if I knew you were right behind me, I wouldn’t have farted,

My 2 bytes

Monday, May 29, 2006

What was I going to blog about again?

I went to see The Da Vinci Code tonight and I really enjoyed it. I never read the book so I’m not aware of the other things that occur in the story that the movie doesn’t cover. I don’t plan on reading the book, but I did enjoy the movie.

So I’m almost home and I start thinking about how some people are upset about some the ideas of this movie. It reminded me of the craziness about those cartoons that occurred in Europe a few months ago. It bothered me about people having faith as opposed to having blind faith. I was thinking about how people put so much into their faith that they don’t question anything. How these old people preach from books written hundreds of years ago; before powered flight, blood transfusions, birth control and the Internet. How they could never have predicted how things are today.

I thought about getting deep in a post about this when my cell phone rings. I pick it up and it’s work calling. They system is down and they need my help. I won’t get into the nitty gritty but I’m thinking how cool it is that work has to call me at home when they’re problems. It’s like I’m important. From home’ I’m making calls to work and coordinating with people in Toronto about this issue. I’m thinking “I’m important dammit. I’m a mover and shaker now”.

Then I realized, what the heck was going to blog about again?

My 2 bytes.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

The Clip of the Week.

All about Canada

My 2 bytes

Friday, May 26, 2006

Photo Friday

With Bush's approval rating at a all time low, President Bush decided to borrow some 'ideas' from the Clinton Administration

My 2 bytes

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Here's the deal.

I'm back again. He's my story and I'm sticking to it. My main Hard Drive was on the verge of death so I installed a new one. What I what to know is WHY CAN'T THESE THINGS GO SMOOTHLY FOR ME?

First, the old drive didn't want to come out, but after A LOT of swearing, cursing and yelling at the offending screw, I managed to get the BLEEPING THING OUT. THEN my PC stopped booting and blaa bla.... I know you don't care about my techno crap but needless to say, I'M PISSED OFF.

Now I'm suppose to be the tech guy and at work, I can usually figure things out any problem (by knowing the answer or researching it), but I never have these problems BUT HERE ON MY OWN PC. I have one thing to say to my PC right now. YOU BASTARD !!!!

My 2 bytes

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The Clip of the Week.

I know this clip is "fanboy" but I just love it.

My 2 bytes

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


It’s hot out. It’s that prairie heat and once again, I’ve decided that I miss the snow. I despite being hot; always have and I always will. GASP!!!! I’m thinking of moving into my office at work because it has air conditioning. I don’t know how people closer to the equator can take it. I WANT AIR CONDITIONING AND A SWIMMING POOL.

Today I hear one of those words that just annoys the hell out of me, flip flops. WHO CAME UP WITH THIS STUPID NAME? Just because someone comes up with a cheap plastic sandal, they have to give it a stupid name? Sure they’re always some obnoxious colour and they may as well be made of cardboard but why the hell do people have to call them that? Is the person who named those things that the same guy who gave us boob tube? IF SO, THEN I WANT HIM DEAD.

ANOTHER THING!!! Ladies, if you want to wear them, that’s fine but don’t wear them with a business outfit. I’M TALKING TO YOU OXEN LADY. (I named her that because she is big boned, not fat, and I’m sure she could life a car if she wanted to).

OK this is my lame excuse for a rant today. It’s too hot to rant.

My 2 bytes.

Monday, May 15, 2006

I can't think of anything else to post so....

Once again I'm unable to come up with anything so instead I'm posting the lyrics to Macho Man.

Macho Man

Body...wanna feel my body?
Body...such a thrill my body
Body...wanna touch my body?'s too much my body
Check it out my body, body.
Don't you doubt my body, body.
talkin' bout my body, body,
check it out my body

Every man wants to be a macho macho man
to have the kind of body, always in demand
Jogging in the mornings, go man go
works out in the health spa, muscles glow
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
ready to get down with, anyone he can

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! Ow....

Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)
I've got to be a macho!

Body, its so hot, my body,
Body, love to pop my body,
Body, love to please my body,
Body, don't you tease my body,
Body, you'll adore my body,
Body, come explore my body,
Body, made by God, my body,
Body, it's so good, my body

You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk
his western shirts and leather, always look so boss
Funky with his body, he's a king
call him Mister Eagle, dig his chains
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (all right)

Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! All Right!

Body, body, body wanna feel my body,
Body, body, body gonna thrill my body,
Body, body, body don'tcha stop my body,
Body, body, body it's so hot my body,

Every man ought to be a macho macho man,
To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand,
Have their own life style and ideals,
Possess the strength and confidence, life's a steal,
You can best believe that he's a macho man
He's a special person in anybody's land.

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (dig the hair on my chest)

Macho, macho man (see my big thick mustache)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (Dig broad shoulders)

Macho, macho man (dig my muscles!)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho!

Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! HEY!

My 2 bytes

Friday, May 12, 2006

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I love Walmart

How to kill time at Walmart

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.

5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8 When a clerk ask s if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9 Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And last but not least!)

15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

My 2 bytes

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Get to know me. Why? Because I said so.

How well do you know me??  For instance, did you know...

Four jobs I've have had in my life:
1.  TV Producer for Community TV
2.  Shipper
3.  Technical Liaison
4.  Playback Operator (From my TV days)
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Escape from New York
2  Blue Thunder
3. The Truman Show
4. Pump up the Volume
Four places I have lived:
1.  North Bay, Ontario
2.  Arnprior, Ontario
3.  Fort McMurray, Alberta
4.  Calgary, Alberta
Four TV shows you love to watch:  
1.   E-Ring
2.    Commander in Chief
3.   The Apprentice
4.   The Amazing Race
Four places I've gone on vacation:
1.   Toronto, Ontario
2.  Orlando, Flordia
3.   New York City
4.   Niagara Falls, Ontario  
Four websites I visit daily:
1. (My DVD’s)
Favorite Food:
1.  Turkey (MMMM Turkey)
2.  Chocolate Covered Strawberries
3.   STEAK !!!!! Especially barbecue
4.  A Donair from Milanoes (it’s been years and I miss them)
Four places I would rather be right now:
1.  In the audience during a taping of “The Late Show with David Letterman”
2.  Flying Business Class on a plane flying away from here.
3.  In front of my PC playing City of Heroes
4.  In bed with a beautiful woman.

My 2 bytes

Monday, May 08, 2006

A joke someone sent me

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.

The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?"

The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony."

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be
reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years.. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, romantic, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is good in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for...a good man."

The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see the f*cking map again ;)

My 2 bytes

Return of the Yadda Yadda

It’s Monday. It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted on a Monday. Why you ask? (I know you didn’t ask but I’m going to pretend that you did). Simple. I hate Mondays. Mondays are so Blaaa. Monday’s are full of crap.

Monday involve having to listen to some stupid cheerful cell phone ring over and over because the stupid owner doesn’t understand the concept of TURN YOUR DAMN CELL PHONE OFF. I know she likes that ring because she thinks “it’s cute”. Well I wonder how cute it would be if I flushed that phone down the toilet.

Monday involves reading some lame ass court decision between Apple Core and Apple Computers; something about the use of the name Apple. Ok listen Beatles music company. Your day is done. Steve Jobs, Apple and the IPod rule the name Apple now. You can drag this crap into whatever courtroom you want but THE 60’s are OVER !!!!! The 20th century is OVER. Other than getting money for the Beatles Catalogue (and doesn’t Michael Jackson own that?). What do you have? Steve Jobs company is a lot bigger than you and Steve is also a major shareholder in Disney because of the sale of Pixar. He also denying rumors that he’s going to be the new CEO of Disney. Bottom line, Beatles record people (who uses records now anyway? Other than Pearl Jam), Steve could crush you like a gnat. SO GO AWAY.

Alright this is turning into a Yadda Yadda. Now that I think about it, it’s been awhile since I’m done yadda yadda. I’ve been focused on single topic posts that I forgot how good the yadda yadda posts can be. MMM Maybe it will be a week of yadda yadda? Naw. I doubt that.

So Keith Richards has surgery to relieve some pressure in his head. He was complaining about headaches and ended up in surgery. I wonder if drugs had something to do with it?

That’ all I have for yadda yadda.

My 2 bytes.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Friday, May 05, 2006

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Let me PEE in peace.

The next time someone starts talking to me about their computer problems while I’m standing at a URINAL is going to be beaten to death with a power bar.

My 2 pissed off bytes.

Manual Printer Na Na Na-na-na

I’m having a bad hair day. My hair is kinda poofy actually.(Oh great, Word doesn’t recognize ‘kinda’ or ‘poofy’.I don’t know what the deal is. Again I’m tired and I’m forced to write my blog post from work. That’s right; someone is holding a gun to my said and screaming “POST, POST DAMN YOU”.

You know when you actually start having money, you start thinking of actually paying for software, (not that I would EVER steal a copy of Windows, nope nope). Thought I’m using Open Office at home, which is free, so there.

So this morning, I’m in the show washing my hair (maybe my shampoo is making my hair poofy), and I started singing “Manual Printer Na Na Na-na-na” Now I have an idea where that comes from but when you starting singing about manually assigning a IP to a network printer (techie poop), then its time to think about making a change. The problem is, I’m not sure where I should make this change.

I’m not planning on job hunting for awhile. I need to put in a few years here in this role before I even consider that. I need to put some time here and I’m enjoying my new role here actually so there’s no problem here. Well, no big problems that would cause me to go batty.

I’m toying with the idea of moving into a bigger place, but the more I think about it, the less practical it would be. I have enough space for one person and unless the building has a pool or heath club, that’s the point and I would run into the danger of not finding a building with a balcony facing south. If I didn’t have that, then I would kiss my satellite dish bye bye and I’m not prepared to do that.

I must admit that a car would be nice. Having the freedom to travel where I want instead of having to rely on public transit, or friends would be great, BUT (no comments about my big but please), I can’t afford it. I’m now at the point where I’m starting to put money away but it’s still going to take time before I have enough for a decent car. I’m not paying $1000 for someone else’s problem. They sold it for a reason and my student loan is preventing me from getting anything nicer.

It’s funny how my poofy hair has lead to a new apartment and a car huh? Oh well. Let’s sing along.

Manual Printer Na Na Na-na-na
Manual Printer Na Na Na-na-na

My 2 bytes.