Sunday, April 30, 2006

The Clip of the Week.

The True Great White North. I hope they don't sue me eh.

My 2 bytes eh.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Thoughts in my Head

I thought I would share some of the thoughts that went through my mind today.

“Lord, please let that smell not come from me”

“Does being a boss in a tie means that you can have the worse hair on the planet?”

“They somehow managed to sneak 2 days into today”


“Oh boy, Head Office has sent me more crap”.

“Dammit, Can’t I have lunch without people staring at me, wanting something”

“There’s been a problem with this monitor for months and they’re just telling me about it NOW?”

“I wonder if Stef will enjoy City of Heroes?” Bring it on Vics :)

“Yeah, I know an author, that makes me sophisticated. Except for the fact that the book has Werewolves shitting all over the living room”.

“Enough of the religious e-mail crap”.

“I’ll fix it when I’m gawd damn ready”

"There should be more Tuba's in Heavy Metal music"

Oh and I actually said this. “You suck big hairy nuts and you like it”

My 2 bytes.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Book Reviews from The Great White North

So here’s the deal. I get home (later than usual this week because I’ve been doing some errands), I make something to eat and go online playing City of Heroes then around 8:30pm fatigue hits me like a ton of bricks and I’m out for the night. Even though last night I woke up again at 10:00pm and 3:00am., I still wasn’t up to blogging. As a result, I’m now blogging at work. DON’T FIRE ME BOSS, PLEASE.

I remember in the not to distant past I was a day ahead of my blog posts so if I hade a bad day, I would just post the written post and not worry about it, but this week, my excuse is “I needed a nap”.

On Monday a book I ordered from Amazon arrived and I started reading “Death by Zamboni”. (Now why the hell doesn’t the spell-check in Word recognize Zamboni?). This book was recommended by someone I know from City of Heroes. It happened when this other guy and I were talking about hockey and he mentioned the book. Then he mentioned that he wrote it. So I thought cool, went to Amazon and ordered it. It was then that I discovered that the person who recomended his book is named name David David Katzman. Well now I’ve gone through a couple of chapters and I love it. It’s funny in a twisted way, but since I have a twisted sense of humour anyway, I do recommend it. Any book that has sentences like, “If pigs had hands, they would rule the planet” is something that I’m going to enjoy. So now I can say that I know a published author.

I encourage people to pick up this book, not just because I know the author but because it’s a good laugh. So go to Amazon and buy it. NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My 2 bytes.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

The Clip of the Week.

Yes we won Game 1 against the Ducks. This video is of the "Red Mile" (I didn't shoot it but I did make an appearance last night) and despite police intentions to prevent the celebrating to go out onto the street like 2 years ago, well the people won.

Lighten up Calgary Police, no one was hurt, there was no crime. Everyone was just out having a good time.



My 2 bytes.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Computer Tips from an IT person.

Dealing with people in my job usually means that I have to deal with different IT situations. Here are some helpful hints in dealing with I.T. people. I'm sure it will really help. Oh and thanks to Dr. Chery for sending me this.

IT support guidelines:

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it
buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals,
dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have lives,
and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages

3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That
way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us
to remember 300 screen
saver passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping
you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your
mail because your computer won't power on at all.

5. When I.T. support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete
it at once. We're just testing.

6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and
spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and
flags it as a rush delivery.

8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's
electronics in it.

9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer
support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

10. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call
computer support. We're collectors.

11. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T.
person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the
problem. We love a puzzle.

12. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have
cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

13. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in
a scathing tone of voice, "And just how many weeks do you mean by
shortly?" That motivates us.

14. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times.
Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

15. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to
all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

16. Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly
what you mean by "my thingy blew up."

17. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

18. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your
dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were
designed to have 25lbs of computer sitting on top of them.

19. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the
mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of
muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

20. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that Yes
button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be
doing it, would you?

21. When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit
uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up.
We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

22. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about
that computer crap." We don't mind at all hearing our area of
professional expertise referred to as crap.

23. When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call I.T.
support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task and
Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional
engineer with a Masters degree in nuclear physics.

24. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary
to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a
third party who doesn't now anything about the problem.

25. When you receive a 30MB (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as a
mail attachment. Bandwidth? We don't need no stinking bandwidth!

26. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller
chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the

27. When an I.T. person gets on the elevator pushing $100,000 worth of>
computer equipment on a cart, ask in a very loud voice: "Good grief, you
take the elevator to go DOWN one floor?!?" That one cracks us up.

28. When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company.
People out in Timbuktu like to keep abreast of what's going on.

29. When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a
Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.

30. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own.
Really, who needs to know where that stuff is anyway?

31. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office,
leave the documentation at home. We'll find all the settings.

My 2 bytes.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


I’ve talked about how I’m a big fan Gilbert Godfrey on several occasions. I still feel that he’s the worlds most under appreciated comedian, but what has now occurred is going too far. Some lame assed (ok I’m biased) Boston Weekly magazine has named Gilbert Godfrey as the most unsexy man the world.

So Gilbert is number 1 for unsexy and ….get this Osma bin Ladden is number 8? Are these people trying to tell me, that women would rather sleep with that sheep raping mother fucker than Gilbert Godfrey? BULLSHIT!!! This is nothing more than some asshole’s attempt to smear Gilbert.

Now I admit that some people find Gilbert’s voice hard to take (personally I think that it’s his best quality), but COME ON!!!! Richard Simmons made 14th. Women would rather sleep with that fruitcake pansy than Gilbert? Michael Jackson came in 11th!!!! He’s broke now so give it up you gold digging BITCHES. Michael Moore came in 39th; THAT BLOATED PIECE OF SHIT. He should be number one, not Gilbert.

Ok I’m not taking this well. Not because I’m into Gilbert that way (I prefer girls), but Gilbert doesn’t deserve this kind of abuse. He’s a funny comic who knows how to push buttons. He went to far as to do the Astrocrats joke at Hugh Hefner’s roast, and he was good. As opposed to the time Paris Hilton sang Happy Birthday to Hefner, she proved that her only talent is in the bedroom.

Why Paris gets all this fanfare and Gilbert gets all this bullshit. It’s not fair. Gilbert works hard and all Paris does is spread her fucking legs.  Let’s see her pick between having to sleep with Gilbert or Osama. I’m sure she’ll be tell Gilbert “You hot” as opposed to Osama, ‘goat raper’ Ladden.

So now the voice of the AFLAC duck is forced to endure this continued disgrace. YOU BASTARDS !!! Leave Gilbert alone.

My 2 bytes.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Come back to Canada while you still can.

First thing, if you’ve been standing in a long line and get to the front to place your order (at Tim Horton’s in my case) and the dumb ass right in front of you has the gaul to udder “ummmm” when the cashier asks what he wants, you should either a) Smack him in the back of the head for being a dumb ass, b) Move ahead of him and place your order or c) both a and b. YOU DUMB ASS!!!

Ok now that I’ve got that out of my system, I need to comment on this disturbing trend. Old 80’s Canadian actors hosting reality TV shows. First we had Howie Mandel hosting ‘Deal or No Deal’ and now we have Alan Thicke hosting some Celebrity Cook off show.

Ok here’s the deal guys, forget these lame ass shows and get you asses back to Canada. We miss you and with the ways things are getting down there, it might be safer to come home. We miss you and come back before your doing BOTOX commercials with Britney Spears.

You know we’ll welcome you with open arms. Come back William Shatner before they make you host the new Dating Game. Come back Michael J Fox before you end up the center square on Hollywood Squares. Come back Dan Aykroyd before they have you doing denture commercials. Come back David Foley before they make you do MORE of the Celebrity Poker crap. Come back Michael Ironside before they make you do more motor oil commercial. COME BACK WHERE IT’S SAFE.

We don’t judge you here. We will welcome you in open arms and I promise that none of us will make you do a show about QUEBEC.

My 2 bytes.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Clip of the Week.


My 2 bytes

Friday, April 14, 2006

Photo Friday

I know it's not a photo but dammit, I love it. Check out the comic at

My 2 bytes

Thursday, April 13, 2006

She wants to have sex with me, it says so on the website

First thing, no more pubic hair discussions. Secondly, my icon is from a series called Thunderbirds 2086, an anime version of the old puppet TV show.

So last night I was online and I’ve learned that there are women in Calgary who want to have sex me. Really I thought? Wow’s that pretty cool Women who’ve I’ve never mean, who have posted naughty pictures of themselves want to have sex with me and I’ve haven’t even met them. Wow, my blog must be really popular. Now I have a list of hot women who want to do the nasty with me. I’ve a lucky guy. I remember the night before I found some people who wanted to go out with me but hey, screw them. I’ve found women who want to have SEX. No questions asked.

Alright, perhaps these women aren’t after me specifically, but hey; a guy can dream can’t he? I remember reading the personal ads in some ‘free’ newspapers and I always found some of the ads to be humorous. Like the ad for the guy looking for another male to ‘try something new’ right beside the ad for the 50 year old Christian woman, looking for a male friend to play cards with (is that a code for something?).

Personally I like the websites better because the ladies (if you can call them that) include pictures and some of the pictures show ‘naughty bits’. YEAH, NAUGHTY BITS!!!!. Though I need to wonder about the type of woman who would put her naughty bits on the Internet with the words ‘DO ME!!!!’ typed underneath.

Oh and if your wondering, I haven’t e-mail any of these ‘ladies of loving’, though I may reconsider if I find a post that says ‘2 Hot Lesbians looking for Computer Geek to spice up our love life. MMORPG player and blogger preferred.’

My 2 bytes.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Uh oh

First thing, I’m sorry for the loop I put everyone through when I asked about the trimming of pubic hair. I wanted to say something odd and well……perhaps it was too odd.

So after a few days of crap on my ISP’s part, I now have the VOIP phone up and running so if you want me to call you….then FORGET IT. Naw seriously, if you really want to hear from me, just send me an e-mail with your phone number and best time to call to , that is if your into giving your home phone numbers to strange people you’ve only met on the Internet.

You know, now that I think about it there’s no guarantee that I could end up calling someone and end up meeting, “Hello, my name is Susan and I just got out of Prison”. That’s the danger of meeting a new person isn’t it. Are they normal or do they have a bunch of those strange leather masks in their bedroom. I already know one of you out there is into ‘spanking’.

My gawd, what have I gotten myself into.

My 2 bytes

Saturday, April 08, 2006

The Clip of the Week.

Holy Crap them 70's commercials were crap.

My 2 bytes

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Almost completely back.

Well the PC is up. I'd loaded up most of my favorite program and like is ok. I'm still not quite back to my spec on the PC but that's ok. I loaded up most of my favorite programs and I should have the rest done by the end of the weekend.

I'm having some issues with the VOIP box but I've been reading up on it and discovered that I just need to leave it connected for awhile. I guess, that's why they include a UPS (Uninteruptable Power Supply), even though mine's on back order.

My find myself lost for words so I leave you with this one thought.

At what point did it become fashionable to shave your pubic hair?

My 2 bytes.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

NOOOO !!!!!! YOU BASTARD !!!!!!!

Guess what; my PC is down. Now this may not sound like a big deal to normal people but for me, this is a MAJOR CRISIS. The good news is that I was prepared this time. I have 2 Hard drives on my machines and all the important stuff (like my smut) is stored on the second drive.

I'm not going to go into the tech details, (it would either bore you or go over your head), but let's just say I'm seen seeing "THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH" a lot last night. My geek powers have failed me.

Now I'm glad that I backed up all my links on so they're not lost in the wind. I'm also glad that I use Gmail as my mail e-mail client so everything is still backed up on thier servers.

The worse part was that I couldn't play City of Heroes last night. ARGHHH !!!!

Oh did I mention that I received my VOIP box but since my PC was down, i couldn't set up my account, but I will be making Internet calls very soon (hopefully tonight).

Needless to say, I hope to be up and running by tonight

My 2 bytes

Monday, April 03, 2006

Bad Web sites

Ok now that the saga of “MOM AND DAD’S” visit is completely done. It’s time to get back to regular blogging. The problem is that I can’t think of anything to write about, so I’ve decided its time for my review of INTERESTING WEBSITES.

First I’ve found the OFFICAL Doggy Steps website. Now pet owners can buy little steps for their dogs. That way the dogs can now climb onto your couch and bed. Now I had a dog growing up and I need to ask this question. Don't people usually kicking their pets off the bed or couch because of shedding? I wonder if they sell something for removing pet hair as well.

Now I found this site on a late night infomercial. There’s no gentle way of saying this. These people are selling stuff in order to unplug the gunk up your ass. I remember watching the infomercial and listening to this woman talking about her colon and I though oh boy. This will help me get to sleep now.

Now there’s this site dedicated to the hokey visual/sound effects from the 60’s Batman show. Looking for a graphic that says AWEEEIII or POWIE!!! This is the site for you.

Lastly but perhaps the best is a site that allows people to send insulting post cards from France. Yes folks for the small price of $2,99 anyone can have a wine stained, hand written, insulting postcard sent to anyone from France. I knew there was a market for being rude.

I'm just hoping that I haven't hit another dry spell. If I have, then I’ll post more Bad Websites, but I’ll try and keep things limited. Oh and I'll try and make sense as well.

My 2 bytes.