Wednesday, June 28, 2006

It's HOT as Balls in here

Ever have one of those posts that was going nowhere? I just spent 15 minutes writing about crap. Something about how equipment was failing, and I was blaming the Tech God. What kind of crap have I been drinking.

I think the problem is that sometimes I just try too hard. Right now I;m just writing whatever comes to into my mind right now. No plan, just random Blaa Blaa and to be honest, I think this is turning out better.

Right now its HOT as Hell’s Balls and my apartment is pretty warm. NOTE TO SELF,. Next place I move to will have AIR CONDITIONING. The thing that is annoying is that there’s isn’t much of a point in putting in an air conditioner because of the 1/8 inch crack under my door. It’s enough to let the cool air escape.

The big problem is that this place was designed to keep heat in. Something about Canadian winters I guess. On the other hand, our pipes don’t freeze.

I’m officially blaming the heat for the last of ideas on this post now. My mind isn’t thinking clearly. I’m thinking stuffing ice cubes down my pants wouldn’t be a bad idea right now.

Sorry I need a cold shower, so I won’t pass out from the heat.

My 2 bytes.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Just when things were going well.

I had a good Blog post in my head. I was ready to go WHEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE WITH MY BLOG FOR SILENT MOON.

Basically I've spent most of the night trying to recover poor Moon's Blog but its not happening. I may have to recreate her style sheet from scratch. GRRR

My 2 annoyed bytes.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

A Public Service Message from Tales from the Great White North

The Clip of the week has been delayed for this special announcement. I apologize for the inconvenience

Stef, Give little Jake back to Vics NOW!!!!
(For the record, little Jake is a Teddy Bear)

My 2 bytes..

Friday, June 23, 2006

Photo Friday (NO !!!! MY TEDDY BEAR!!!!)

Alrigh, an explanation is required, and for the record, it doesn't involve Alcohol. The bear is acuallty a USB Key, but to connect it to your computer you need take the little bears head off. Yeah I think its a little creepy too.

My 2 bytes

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Leave the CBC alone eh!

WARNING THIS POST IS 100% CANADIAN. If you don't know who Stompin Tom Conner's is, Canoed down a river or worn a toque to keep your head warm, this post may not makes sense.

I’m such a healthy guy. Just look at my breakfast; 3 Sausage McMuffins, a liter of Iced Tea and a 75g bag (do the conversion yourself) of Old Dutch Corn Chips I bet people are wondering why I haven’t dropped from a heart attack yet. Now that I have my bad eating habits in the open I want to talk about something very Canadian, The CBC.

I was reading about how the CBC is planning to bump The National, so they can air a U.S. reality show. Oh and before everyone freaks out that that this is a sign of the apocalypse, the CBC is planning to do a Canadian version of the show, so it’s not as big a deal as everyone may think.

First off, the national has been bumped on a nightly basis ever since the playoffs started. People were forced to watch The National in that small window between the early and late hockey game, so it’s not the first time. As well, the CBC has come to realize that airing old episodes of Front Page Challenge and 2 back to back episodes of Coronation Street (oh and tonight episode, Danny pretends to go on a business trip, WHO THE HELL IS DANNY?). Wait a minute; they’re also airing the 2006 NHL awards tonight, so it’s not all bad.

Oh and before someone asks why the CBC airs so much Hockey, the answer is THEY MAKE MONEY DOING IT. Playoff time for the CBC is like Christmas time at Wal-Mart. Major money is made.

As well, they’re try and trying very hard. Real Canadian still enjoy the Royal Canadian Air Farce (All Hail the Chicken Cannon) and while This Hour Has 22 Minutes has gone down hill since most of the original cast has left, its still isn’t a bad show. I also hear that George Stroumboulopoulos’s is moving to the CBC from CBC Newsworld. As well, the CBC has the Grey Cup, more Hockey and if were lucky, Curling. (Don’t make fun of curling, it’s a Canadian thing, Check out Men with Broom on DVD if you still don’t understand it.)

Oh I also heard that there are some people in the government who want to turn the CBC into a non commercial station, a la PBS. Alright government, the day I start seeing pledge drives on the CBC is the day I’m going to fly to Ottawa, and beat these guys to an inch of their lives with a Hockey stick and then politely clean up the mess with a Curling broom and leave them some Tim Horton’s Timbits. Let the CBC thrive and for Gods sake, don’t thry to bring back Front page Challenge or The Beachcombers.

My 2 bytes.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Respect Mr Bear

Remember when bears were to be feared? People thought of bears as dangerous beasts that could kill a man? You would hear about bears mauling people? Bears are suppose to be dangerous, right? So why is it that there have been 2 news stories in the past 2 weeks that have bears looking like big wimps. (and while I’m at it, why is it that every sentence in this paragraph, is a question?)

Last week I was hearing how a housecat chased a bear up a tree. Now this bear has to be the biggest wimp of all bears. Being chased up a tree by a cat that looks like Garfield. This bear is a WIMP. Now I’m reading about a bear who broke into a house to eat someone’s oatmeal . OATMEAL? I thought bears ate meat?

Right now there’s a meeting in a cave somewhere in the woods, and the bears are talking about ‘improving’ their image. I can picture one Grizzly complaining about the bears in the toilet paper commercial. He gets up on 2 legs and yells. YES I CRAP IN THE WOODS BUT I DON’T USE TOILET PAPER. Then another bear complains about the bears on the jar of Kraft Peanut Butter. Oh and it goes on and on.

Well, I don’t officially represents the bears, I will say this. Bears are not to be taken lightly people. A bear will attack a housecat. A bear will do more and eat Oatmeal (he’s will open the fridge and go for the beer). They will spread jokes about how evil bears are. Jokes like “A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the wood. The bear then asks the rabbit, ‘Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?’ The rabbit says ‘no’, so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit."

Trust me, the bears are tired of being considered cute. Respect them or else they will be pissed.

My 2 bytes.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

The Clip of the Week.

This was all done with Menthos and Diet Coke. Oh, you may have to hit play on the lower left to get the clip to play.

My 2 bytes

Friday, June 16, 2006

Photo Friday (There always was something strange about Grandma)

My 2 bytes

They Cannot Deny Me !!!

Last night my Internet went down and as of 8:45am, it's still down. I took the day off and I'm doing some running around. See then dentist and that sort of thing.

Right now I'm forced to write this post at a 'free' Internet station in the big mall, near my home. I have my dentist appointment soon so I'm not going home yet.

Actually this reminds me of when I was doing post from the pay terminals at the airport in Toronto. The only difference is that the fucking Shaw Splash Screen, didn't pop up every 30 seconds. Oh and after the advertisement shows up, I have to move the curser back to where I'm typing. FUCK YOU SHAW

My 2 bytes.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Even in my dreams, I'm not getting any

Lately I’ve been having a lot of dreams about sex. Actually, I’ve been having dreams about almost having sex. I don’t know what the heck is going on but without going into details of these dreams, my subconscious us basically skipping the good parts of the dream!!! My mind is going from the ‘hey were gonna have sex’ part and fast forwarding to ‘that was great sex, was it as good for you’ part. My own brain is censoring the good parts. I think this is the sign that proves that life just will not work out the way I want. ARGHHHH!!! How pathetic is it when your own mind is working against you?

My 2 bytes.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

My head hurts

I remember saying that I was going to blog BEFORE I started playing City of Heroes. Well guess what? That didn’t happen tonight and now I have a headache and I’m in no mood to blog. However I haven’t blogged since Saturday (if you count putting a video up blogging), so here we go.

Alright my bad hurts and its impairing my ability to write. This sucks and I should take something for the pain.

I have last night’s Letterman on my PVR and apparently Paris Hilton is on and Dave knows how to call things. “Paris is beautiful and a lot of people have seen her naked”, the skank.

Ok this isn’t working. Until my head is clear.

My 2 bytes.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

The Clip of the Week (LEROY JENKINS !!!!)

Anyone who has ever played a MMORPG will understand this (like City of Heroes). Oh for the record, the guy who asked and the person who did the "number crunch" are SUPER NERDS.

My 2 bytes

Thursday, June 08, 2006

This is downright creepy.

When I first read this I thought “this can’t be right”, but its true folks. The Church of Scientology is now a proud sponsor of NASCAR. One of the cars will have the DIANETCS volcano on it; plugging the book for all of the NASCAR fans to see. Apparently this is thing strangest sponsor since Boudreaux's Butt Paste.

At first I was thinking that these people are nuts (about this idea I mean, I’m not commenting about the religion in general), but that I thought, this is a great idea. Other religions should follow this approach. The Catholic Church should also sponsor a car and have it advertise The Bible. At the same time, we could have the Muslim faith sponsor a car advertising The Quran. The Hindu and Buddhist religion could also advertise their faiths. Hey, this is the 21st Century people. Everyone advertises these days.

While were at it, let’s get some of the leaders of faith driving these cars. How about the Pope? How about Oral Roberts? How about that crazy guy who jumped into the tiger den, claiming that God would protect him (ok maybe not that guy specifically because he’s tiger poop now). Let’s get all the religious leaders behind the wheel at NASCAR. After all, everyone is thinking religion during a NASCAR race, while they drink beer, scratch themselves and cheer on their favorite driving by screaming at the top of their lungs.

My 2 bytes.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Tips on being a Good Canadian

In reply to the 17 terrorists that were arrested in Toronto a few days ago, I give these helpful hints to new immigrants coming to Canada.

1. Plotting to behead Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a not acceptable. Even the NDP understands this.

2. Hording 3 tonnes of Ammonium Nitrate for making bombs is a bad thing.

3. Plotting to storm Parliament Hill and hold people hostage until your demands are met is a bad thing.

4. Plotting to storm the CBC broadcast centre in Toronto is a bad thing.

5. Making Canada look bad by giving it a reputation as a home for terrorists is a bad thing.

6. Plotting any terrorists acts againist our good, but sometimes misguided friends to the south is also a big no no.

7. Conducting any form of terrorist activity in Canada is wrong.

8. Respect other people's culture and opinions, as they should be respectful of yours. Unless they disrespect your favorite hockey team then all bets are off.

I’m hoping that these helpful tips will help new immigrants and new citizens enjoy like in Canada.

My 2 bytes.

Monday, June 05, 2006

I want answers people

Here are some questions that I want answered.

Why do people think Ben Stiller is funny? BECAUSE HE’S NOT!!!

Where is Bobcat Goldthwait now?

Why hasn’t Paris Hilton gone away yet?

Why is Gates McFadden doing Microsoft commercials?

Have people forgotten that OJ is a murderer? I ask this because he has a new TV show.

Why are teenage girls out there still doing the MOHAWK thing?

Why is Wikepedia giving me better information than IMDB when it comes to getting information about celebrities?

Why is Porno the same crap over and over again?

Why are the RIAA and MPAA committed to being the biggest assholes on the planet?

Will I ever get back to making blog posts on a daily basis?

As for the last one, from now on, no more City of Heroes until after I’ve posted so hopefully I can get this blog back to normal.

My 2 bytes

Saturday, June 03, 2006