Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Respect Mr Bear

Remember when bears were to be feared? People thought of bears as dangerous beasts that could kill a man? You would hear about bears mauling people? Bears are suppose to be dangerous, right? So why is it that there have been 2 news stories in the past 2 weeks that have bears looking like big wimps. (and while I’m at it, why is it that every sentence in this paragraph, is a question?)

Last week I was hearing how a housecat chased a bear up a tree. Now this bear has to be the biggest wimp of all bears. Being chased up a tree by a cat that looks like Garfield. This bear is a WIMP. Now I’m reading about a bear who broke into a house to eat someone’s oatmeal . OATMEAL? I thought bears ate meat?

Right now there’s a meeting in a cave somewhere in the woods, and the bears are talking about ‘improving’ their image. I can picture one Grizzly complaining about the bears in the toilet paper commercial. He gets up on 2 legs and yells. YES I CRAP IN THE WOODS BUT I DON’T USE TOILET PAPER. Then another bear complains about the bears on the jar of Kraft Peanut Butter. Oh and it goes on and on.

Well, I don’t officially represents the bears, I will say this. Bears are not to be taken lightly people. A bear will attack a housecat. A bear will do more and eat Oatmeal (he’s will open the fridge and go for the beer). They will spread jokes about how evil bears are. Jokes like “A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the wood. The bear then asks the rabbit, ‘Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?’ The rabbit says ‘no’, so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit."

Trust me, the bears are tired of being considered cute. Respect them or else they will be pissed.

My 2 bytes.

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