Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Canada Still wants its MTV

Once upon a time, in a land call the United States, there was a TV channel called MTV. Now MTV aired music videos and their viewers were happy. Meanwhile in another land, further north, there was a TV channel called Much Music and they also aired music videos to the people of the north. Now the people of the north, who were called Canadians, also wanted to watch MTV but the people who owned Much Music, said that people were only allowed to watch their crappy TV channel.

Many years later, another TV company said “Hey people in Canada want to watch MTV, let’s make a deal with them, bring MTV to Canada and everyone will be happy”, so they did and MTV Canada was born.

But, not everyone was happy. The no talent hacks who owned Much Music and all their lame ass knock offs were mad. The evil, small minded minions at CHUM Limited said “We cannot have Canadian watch, something other than us. They must only watch the crap we feed them and nothing else”, so they started to scheme. Scheme and scheme, they did for a couple of years until they counted up all their pennies and bought the TV company that was partnering with MTV in Canada and told MTV that they were not allowed to show their programs unless it was through them. So once again, the people of Canada were forced to watch the crap Much Music was showing them.

Then today, the people at MTV came back to Canada to proclaim that they had a new partner in Canada. CTV Inc. Now CTV was a far bigger TV company than CHUM Limited and they couldn’t just buy this company like the last one. Then another proclamation was made. MTV now gave exclusive rights to all their programs to CTV Inc, which meant that Much Music could no longer air some of MTV’s programming.

Now the corporate weasels at CHUM made a proclamation of their own. They wished CTV well but that turning their TalkTV channel into MTV Canada might cause some issues with the CRTC. Now I guess we will have to wait and see.

Personally, I hope CHUM shuts the hell up and learns from this hard lesson before CTV’s parent company, Bell Canada Enterprises gets pissed off and DROPS A FUCKING SATELLITE FROM ORBIT AND SMASHES IT ONTO THEIR LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT BUILDING IN TORONTO. That’s what CHUM deserves for turning my favorite local TV station A-Channel Calgary, into one of those cookie cutter piece of shit CITY TV channels.

My 2 bytes.

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