Photo Friday (I've seen enough dumb things this week, why not another)

I'm not a prisoner, I'm a free man!!!

I know that my posts have been about me and work but it's been a really hectic week and to make matters worse. I get off work at 10:00pm and I have to be back in at 7:00am? What's the point of going to bed? All I do is work, work, and work. I AM A PERSON AND NOT A RESOURCE TO BE USED AT MY EMPLOYERS WHIM!!!!

I know this isn't going to be much of a post but I'll be honest. This is a call for help. Earlier tonight at work, this guy fell asleep for 2 hours. He was new and I can predict what's going to happen to him. Bye Bye. They tried to wake him more than once but he never woke up. Is this my destiny to have to deal with this crap for the rest of my life? NO!!! I swear not. I am raging against the dying of my light. I will not allow them to turn me into "one of the drones from sector 7G".

Oh and for the record, I am staying up all night because it's not worth sleeping. I'll sleep when I get home. Maybe I'll doze off for 15 minutes or something but that's it.

Now I hope that by Saturday, I'll be back to my old self.

My 2 tired bytes.

BLAAAA I don't want to go to work

Well I'm going back to work tomorrow for about 2 and a half days and then I get 3 more days off. Big fat hairy deal. I need a major change in my life and I need it now. I need …. something. Getting away from work was nice but I'm not looking forward to going back. I'm not challenged by it anymore and to be honest. It bores me. So I've redoubled my efforts in finding another job. Another career. Another Life ! ! !

Right now I'm looking for work as a tech support person. I figure that it's the best way to get started in the I. T. industry. I've grown to hate programming and my web developing skills are ok, but not fantastic. I need more time to work on both. On the other hand, I'm already "Mr. Tech Support" to a lot of people so I might just as well do it as a career. So if you're an employer in the city of Calgary, send me an e-mail.

Then I gave it some thought, what else do I want to be? Well how about a professional blogger but I realized, how can I make money doing that? Sure I can put banners galore on my blog and I can add a Pay Pal donate button, but that seems so pathetic in my opinion. It's the online version of panhandling and I don't approve of that at all. Perhaps one day in the future I could find a way to Blog for fun AND profit.

I could be a newspaper columnist! Yeah, I know I can. There's this stupid twit who has a daily column in the Calgary Sun named Rick Bell. I swear, everyday his article is nothing but bullshit, its bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. I mean, I can write paragraph after paragraph of useless crap as well. Hell. I'm doing it right now and your reading it SUCKER! Actually everyone knows I can be insightful and talk about politics and current events, when I'm not talking about mannequins and "adult toys". I can do it. Someone give that dumb ass his walking papers and I'll get right to work. My first column will be an interview with the "Sunshine Girl" for that day, and the next one will be the next "Sunshine Girl" for the following day and…. . ok I'll hang around city hall to do some real news crap.

I could also be a talk show host! This is even better. I can appear on a local TV channel and interview many exciting people that come to the area (and we get a lot of them). The problem is that most of them are "working" on films at the time or are "trying to get away from it all" so I would be stuck interviewing people like, that Rick Bell jackass or the mayor. MMm maybe I can get some of the Calgary Flames on the show. Ok I'm not going to be Letterman.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I don't want to work at all. I want to enjoy life and I feel that this won't happen while I'm poor. I need to win the lottery and then I can take the time to shoot a documentary on something that interests me. Blogging perhaps, I would try to find bloggers from all over the world and interview them to find out this common bond among bloggers that makes them post their thoughts online. Now If I can get a government grant to shoot the bloody thing.

My 2 bytes.

I really hate Mannequins

I was walking through the mall again today and I noticed the mannequins with all their fashionable clothes and I remembered something. I really hate the damn things. People put them in these stupid poses, wearing new clothes and they usually have that "pissed off" look that models have when they walk down the runway.

Has anyone taken the time to look at the faces of the models when they walk down the runway? Probably not, because everyone is thinking "ohhh what nice clothes, " or "ohhh what a hottie", or even "those clothes suck" but if you were to look at the expression on their faces, you could tell that the models are pissed off at something. Perhaps the guy who tells them to go pinched their asses or something. I don't know. All I know is that models always look pissed off.

So now we have inanimate objects looking pissed off as well. I really need to have dummies wearing nicer clothes than me, not to mention being in better shape than me, giving me a look that says "I'm better than you". I don't need that attitude from a piece of wood. It really got me annoyed when I was walking around and I saw a bench and those friggin dummies were sitting on it. What if an old person needed to sit down but now this person couldn't because of these pieces of wood with nice clothes and that arrogant smirk on their faces were sitting there. When did lumber have priority seating at the mall over humans?

I've always wanted to go into a store with a bat and just beat the crap out of all the mannequins. I can imagine the look on everyone's faces as I walk into the men's department and start smashing them in the face first, and then the mid section until all the body parts were in pieces. I would then go to the women's department and do the same and finally the kids sections. Even the child mannequins looked creepy.

Now everyone is wondering why I have this screw loose when it comes to mannequins so now its confession time. Even as a kid, I never liked the damn things. When I was young, I had this fear that if I got locked into a store and they turned the lights out, that the mannequins would come to life and come after me and then they would turn me into one as well and I would be forced to spend the rest of my life, standing motionless in a department store for the rest of my life. I was a kid and I now know that it was my imagination running wild but I still don't like the things.

Oh yeah, who decided that mannequins should have nipples now? Is it really necessary for mannequins to have them? Why do I need to see a female mannequin in a tight t-shirt with erect nipples? What purpose does it serve? Does it show that the store is cold and a t-shirt isn't enough to wear or are the mannequins sexually aroused now?

Yeah that's it; they're trying to charm someone to stay with them until the lights go out and BAM, just like my fear as a child. Mannequins don't need to have hard nipples.

Next thing you know, your going to have mannequins with cleavage and jiggling implants and men will get arrested for fondling them. ENOUGH with the mannequins, and wipe that smirk of their faces.

My 2 bytes

The Day After

Well I hit the mall early today to see what Boxing Day sales are out there and I did hit some pay dirt. Picked up 25 blank DVD's for $15, it was a sale on 5 packs for $3 and I picked up five of them. As well I bought a couple of DVD's, I Robot for $13 and Spiderman 2 for $20. Oh and I bough a new game for my PS2. Jak III for $50. That's the thing I really wanted since I'm a huge fan of the Jak and Daxter series. It's a good game series (not to mention funny as hell).

Like most other people, I didn't post on Christmas day but for me it was a different reason. I'm trying very hard to get over this cold that has its hooks inside of me and since I had to work many hours this past week (I was out of sick days) and I needed to rest. I slept through a lot of Christmas day but my body clock was playing havoc with me. I ended up going to bed at 4: 00pm on Christmas Eve and in return, I was up at 4: 00am Christmas day. I tried and tried to fall back to sleep but it turned into my advantage since I saw a friend online and we chatted for a bit.

Yeah so basically I slept and spoke on the phone with some family and good friends yesterday. I'll try to become my normal self and start making smart ass comments and remarks soon enough but for now. Happy Boxing Day ! ! ! ! Now do I own Rocky on DVD?

My 2 bytes

Photo Friday. Santa's Summer job

Cough Cough

'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. Did I mention that I'm sick? I have a good old fashion Canadian cold. I haven't been able to enjoy a good night's sleep for some time. It's either been a plugged nose or coughing fits. And it's frigging annoying.

I've been somewhat lax in my prevention though so it's my fault I guess. First thing; when you feel a cold coming on, you should overdose on as much Vitamin C as possible. Drink lots of Orange juice and take lots of vitamin C tabs (they're yummy anyway). Anyway, I failed to do that and now I'm coughing my ass off. Unfortunately I'm out of sick days at work and we're really busy so I'm not calling in sick.

I admit that I've only been taking "wimpy" cough medicine like some no name day time stuff but I should be drinking Buckley's cough syrup. Now this stuff tastes absolutely awful. Its like pine syrup and smells like it as well. It's really really bad, but it works and works very well. So if you have a cold and are in Canada, pick up some Buckley's but be warned. IT'S AWFUL. Oh it's available in the U. S. from Rite-Aid and Eckerds pharmacies or try to order it from your local pharmacist. I'm telling you this stuff works. I'm going to get some today. No more pissing around with this cold.

For the record, the stuff I was using before was free from work but if you need something good, then I guess I'll have to pay for it. So it's off to the drug store for some Buckley's.

Alright there are two really good cough medicines out there and the second is NyQuil. I love NyQuil but not the gel caps crap. NyQuil in liquid form is great. It works very well and it knocks you out so you do sleep. It comes with a SHOT GLASS for a reason people. Now this stuff has a couple of flavors but I recommend the GREEN DEATH FLAVOR. But don't worry; you won't have time to register the bad taste before you pass out.

Another thing about NyQuil, I usually wake up all wired up (even more than usual if you can believe it) so I'm really fun to be around while I enjoy my post NyQuil high. I guess I'll have to pick up some of that as well.

Well it's the 23rd of December and I guess that I should have something festive on my blog so here are some links.

Santa Taking care of business

Santa and Rudolph

My 2 bytes

Guess what I got for Christmas

Today at work, everyone received a "gift" package from the company. It comprises of items that are still good but have been return to us the wholesaler for one reason or another. Currently I work for a pharmaceutical wholesaler and most of the items are related in one way or another. Confectionary goods for the front of the store, Health and Beauty products or some other items that we sell. Now many of these gift packages had names on them so they were meant for specific people including myself. Here is a list of what was in my gift box.

1 1.89L Bottle of ABC Liquid Laundry Detergent
1 package of 14 Saran Quick covers for wrapping bowls
1 Box of Huggies Baby Wipes
1 Can of BBQ Pringles
1 Can of Regular Pringles
1 Box of sugar free chocolate chip cookies
1 box of Crest Whitestrips Premium
2 tubes of Aquafresh Toothpaste
1 bottle of Stresstabs Vitamins (someone knows me)
1 can of Edge Shaving Gel
1 Flex toothbrush
18 bags of different "To go" Chocolates
1 black cherry lollipop
1 bag of Lifesavers Gummies

1 box of Tampax Tampons

Now read the last item again of this list. Someone decided that I should receive a box of tampons. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING TO DO WITH A BOX OF TAMPONS! ! ! !

In case no one has figured it out yet. I'm a male (hold on a sec, yep, there still there) I am indeed a man and not a woman. I have the male equipment. I just checked. Its no secret that I live alone and that I'm not in any relationship so why the hell would the people putting these things together decided that I need TAMPONS! ! !

The package includes Shaving Gel. Male shaving Gel for my face when I shave my face in the morning so there are male items in here but why Tampons? What the hell am I going to do with them? Throw them all in a public pool and watch them grow? Carry some around just in case a woman needs one? Yeah if I had a penny for every time a woman asked me for a tampon, I'd be penniless.

I remember as a kid I would watch commercials talking about "feminine protection" and I wondered what they were talking about. All I knew that it had something to do with women playing tennis or riding a bike. For the longest time I thought there was a black market for pink Uzi's. Though I could never figure out what the blue water had to do with guns.

Now I'm starting to wonder. Does someone at work think that I'm a dyke or something? Do I need to start "proving" to people that I'm male? Lord I hope not because I'm sure that it will cost me my job.

Perhaps I should put the box up for sale on Ebay. I wonder how much I could get for it.

Well, I'll probably leave them in the laundry room in my building and I'm sure "someone" will take them. Lord knows I don't need them. I take pleasure in peeing while standing up. Oh in regards to those things are for. I don't want to go through that. I'll pay for dinner every time thank you. I'll open the door and I'll remember to put the seat down. I'll go to the ballet if I have to. I'm just glad that my plumbing is so simple to deal with.

My 2 bytes.

Is it Christmas yet because I need the time off.

As you can imagine, I'm busting my ass at work this week. It seems like everyone else is off enjoying the holiday season except me. I will have to wait until after 3:00pm on the 24th to start being festive. Oh well there is nothing I can do I guess except work all the OT and enjoy that big paycheque when it comes in.

Its confession time again. I won't be spending the holidays with the family (again). They just live too far away for me to travel to, though recently my parents have moved within a day travel of Calgary but a 10 hour drive isn't an option. Well I'll call and chat with my mom and dad but I'll be fine. I'll just stay home and play Grand Theft Auto. Nothing gets me more in the Christmas spirit than stealing cars and picking up hookers *Smirk*

The good news is all the Christmas stuff is taken care of, except I still need to get a haircut, Its getting bad people. I think I lost my keys in hair last night.

My favorite radio station is playing Christmas rock again and I think "Oh Joy". They keep playing "Tears are not enough". It was put together by a group of Canadian artists to raise money for the famine in Africa. It came out in the 80's at the same time as "Do they know its Christmas Time" and "We are the World". I'm convinced that when that song was recorded, it's the only time Anne Murray, Neil Young, and Geddy Lee (FROM RUSH !!!) have ever been in the same room together.

Well this cold won't go away, I keep coughing and waking up at night to blow my nose because I can't breathe. Oh and were talking industrial snot here. I think if I were to leave the tissue in a safe place and wait a million years, a advanced civilation would evolve from my snot. Its that bad.

I'm of to work. I hope not to cough up a lung today so take care and "G'day"

My 2 bytes

Canadian Version of the 12 Days of Christmas

Alright since this blog is called "Tales from the Great White North" I feel that I should show a little Canadian culture Eh! So here are the words to Canadian version of the 12 Days of Christmas

THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
(Rick Moranis / Dave Thomas)
Bob & Doug McKenzie


(B: Bob D: Doug C: Chorus)

B: OK, good day. This is our Christmas part of the album. You can
play this
at your Christmas parties, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if
there's
nothin' else to do.
D: Good day, eh? In case you thought, like, I wasn't on this part.
B: Oh, I guarantee ya you'd be on. OK, so good day. This is the
Christmas
part, and we're gonna tell ya what to get..um...your true love for
Christmas.
D: Look out the window!
B: Where? (chuckle) What are ya doin'?!?
D: Snow, hosehead!
B: Well, oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing 'cause it's
Christmastime. Hey, hoser!
D: What?
B: Here's a quiz. (chuckle) Quiz for Doug...
D: OK, I have my "thinking took" on.
B: Yeah, right. What are the "Twelve Days of Christmas"? 'Cause,
figure it
out, right? Christmas is when?
D: Um, the twenty-fifth...
B: Right. And, what's the twenty-fourth...Christmas Eve, right? So..
D: That's two
B: That's two. And, then what's after that? (pause) Boxing Day
D: Wrestling Day
B: Wrestl..get out!
D: Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.
B: That's three. Then, what's after that? Nothin'!
D: New Year's!
B: Four and what's...
D: New Year's Eve?
B: That's five. Where do ya get twelve?
D: Uh, there's two Saturdays and Sundays in there; that's four. So,
that's
nine. And three other days which, I believe, are the "mystery"
days.
(Music starts)
B: OK, this our Christmas song, just in case you don't know what to
get
someone for Christmas.
D: There's lots of ideas in here, so listen and don't get stuck!

(organ
starts) By the way, that's ME on the organ.
B: Oh, geez.
D: You start...
B: OK...

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
A beer.

D: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Two turtle-necks
B: And a beer.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Three French toast
D: Two turtle-necks
B: And a beer.
D: There should be more there, eh?
B: Where? Oh, go!

D: Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Four pounds of back-bacon
B: Three French toast
D: Two turtle-necks
B: And a beer.
D: ...in a tree. See, you need more.

B: Oh..fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Five golden tooks,
D: Four pound of back-bacon
B: Three French toast
D: Two turtle necks
B: And a beer...where?
D: (with Bob) In a tree.

B: OK, on the sixth...oo, go!
D: ..Christmas, my true love gave to me,
C: Six...
D: Six packs of two-four
B & C: Five golden tooks
C: Four...
D: Four pounds of back-bacon
C: Three...
B: Three French toast
C: Two...
D: Two turtle-necks
C: And a beeeeeeeeer...
B: And a beer (with Doug) in a tree. OK.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Seven pack of smokes,
C: Nice gift!
D: Nice gift. Oh...six packs of two-four
B & C: Five golden tooks.
C: Four...
D: Four pounds of back-bacon
C: Three...
B: Three French toast
C: Two...
D: Two turtle-necks
C: And a beeeeeeeeer...
B: And a beer (with Doug) in a tree. Keep forgetting.
D: Whew! This should just be the "Two Days of Christmas"; it's too
hard for
us! Go, hoser.

B & D: On the eighth day of Christmas, may true love gave to me,
D: Eight comic books
(Chorus repeats right behind them, though one behind)
B & D: Seven packs of smokes
Six pack of two-four
B: Five...
C: (catches up) Five golden tooks
Four pounds of back-bacon
Three French toast
Two turtle-necks
ALL: And a beer...
B & D: On my tree.
B: Yeah, that beer is empty. OK, day, um...
C: TWELVE!
B: Twelve!
D: Good day, and welcome to day twelve..
(Chorus starts up and Bob and Doug join in)
ALL: Five golden tooks
Four pounds of back-bacon,
Three French toast
Two turtle-necks
And a beer in a treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
D: Where'd you learn to do that?
B: Um, albums.
D: So, like, that's our song. Merry Christmas...
B: Merry Christmas!
D: And good day!
B: Good day! Ha-happy New Year, too.
D: Shhh!
B: OK, you know what you left out?
D: What?
B: Donuts!
D: Oh, no!
B: I told you to get donuts. Either on the ninth day, or the tenth
day or
the eleventh day, but I want donuts!
D: OK, the song's over! Merry Christmas, everybody!
B: ...or, on the twelfth day, you could've got me a DOZEN donuts...
D: So,..go out to the stores and get some presents!
B: You could've gone down, to, like, the good donut shops where you
buy a
dozen, you get another one free, and then it'd be thirteen for the
"Thirteen Days of Christmas"!
D: Next Christmas, you can get me a chain-saw!
B: Take off!
(As music fades:)
D: Boy, that song was a beauty. It...it moved me.
B: Yeah, I think it ranks up there with "Stairway to Heaven".
D: What?


My 2 bytes

Vics did it, Brandie did it and now I'm jumping off the bridge as well (See mom, I did jump if everyone else did it)

Like Brandie, I too luv Vics, but I'm not bored

3 Names You Go By:
1. Hey You.
2. Sir (as in you want fries with that)
3. Jackass

3 Screennames You Have:
1. K. Restoule
2. Wagner Depower
3. StarStryke

3 Things You Like About Yourself:
1. I'm a damn Genius
2. I'm funny
3. I'm not judgmental

3 Things You Hate/Dislike About Yourself:
1. My ass beeps when I walk backwards
2. I'm a fat guy
3. I'm lazy.

3 Parts of Your Heritage:
1. English
2. French
3. Ojibway Indian

3 Things That Scare You:
1. Becoming a dumb guy
2. Becoming homeless
3. Scary movies. I never watch them. Why the hell would someone want to make themselves scared anyway?

3 of Your Everyday Essentials (ok, She took this to be websites, so I shall also, but I'd have to say there's far more than 3 I could list here, quite easily)
1. Vics
2. April
3. Brandie

3 Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Green Pants
2. Spiderman Underwear
3. White Sweater

3 of Your Favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment):
1. Evanescence
2. Linkin Park
3. Project Orange (There from Quebec, who would have thought they could come up with a artist that didn't sound like Celine Dion

3 of Your Favorite Songs at Present:
1. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
2. Open Road - Brian Adams (He's back after all these years)
3. How Crazy are you - Meja (its playing now and I first heard it watching a clip of Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball)

3 New Things You Want to Try in the Next 12 Months:
1. Get a new job
2. Buy a new vehicle
3. Get my passport.

3 Things You Want in a Relationship (love is a given):
1. Lots of cuddling. I like to cuddle with someone in front of the TV while watching Star Wars (Ok I'm no Fabio)
2. Trust
3. Mutual Respect

Two Truths and a Lie:Which is the lie? Guess in the Comments.
1. I passed out drunk once and missed out on a foursome.
2. I use to be the "token" straight guy in a bunch of gay and lesbian friends.
3. I've been to every province in Canada and I'm proud of what I seen,

3 Physical Things About the Opposite Sex (or same) That Appeal to You:
1. Eyes (They're the gateway into someone's soul)
2. Hair (There something wonderful about women's hair
3. Breasts (I'm a guy, it was expected)

3 Things You Just Can't Do:
1. Snap my fingers
2. Fix anything mechanical (I'm a computer geek, not a grease monkey).
3. Whistle (it sort of sounds like the whine of a jet engine)

3 of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Videogames
2. Blogging
3. Playing Online RPG's

3 Things You Want to do Really Badly Right Now:
1. Win the lottery and buy my life back
2. Something involving a beautiful woman, some lingerie and whipped cream.
3. To get over this damn cold

3 Careers You're Considering:
1. Tech Support
2. System Administrator
3. Running my own cyber store

3 Places You Want to Go on Vacation:
1. UK
2. New York (I haven't been since before 9/11 and I want to pay my respects)
3. Japan (The videogame Mecca)

3 Kids Names:
1.Being a parent scares the hell out of me. Being responsible for a life seems like such responsibility and unless I was friggin rich, I couldn't do it

3 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Witness a Space Shuttle Launch
2. Meet Donald Trump and say "You're fired"
3. Buy a high rise condo and stand on the balcony, sip some champagne and laugh like a Bond villain as I look over the city

My 2 bytes

All I wanted was some paper towels

Alright. So I go out to the mall, which is about a ½ block away from my apartment. It's close enough to be convenient but there's another apartment building between my place and the mall so I don't have to stare at the thing when I look outside my window. Then again, the view of the parking lot isn't that great either.

So I go in and with one intention in mind. I want paper towels. I was cleaning my apartment and I ran out so I needed more. Once I'm inside I see people everywhere. It's insane as people are shopping for gift items. So I make my way through the mall to head to the Zellers (A department store chain in Canada) for some paper towels. I wish I had one of those old fashioned sickles to cut down the people in my way. I wanted to scream, "Out of my way dammit. All I want are some paper towels. "

Mistake number 1. I go by the EB Games and I have to go in. I'm a videogame geek and I want to see if there's a used game that I want since the used games are cheaper. Well the place was packed and the used games are in the back of the store. So I make my way in and nothing I can see since the line to the cash goes all the way back to the end of the store! ! ! So I say screw this and leave.

Mistake number 2. I then remember that one of my magazines might be out this past week so I head to the other side of the mall to the Chapters bookstore. I go in and head for the Magazine section and look around and boom. No magazine that I want. Fine.

Mistake number 3. I now remember that Future Shop was having a sale on blank DVD's. A spool of 50 DVD's for $30 so I'm on my way since I'm close to one of them now. It's located across the street from the mall. I've made my way out of the mall and head across the street. Now I'm half a block from the other side of this mall and it's a huge mall. The second largest in western Canada, the only bigger one is West Edmonton Mall and that's the largest in the world. I went in one side looking for paper towels and ended up walking through the whole thing and now I'm across the street

So I make it across the street and into the Future Shop and I can't find the blank DVD's. I find someone to help me and guess what? They are sold out. Big surprise; so I went there for nothing.

Now I go back across the street, back into the mall and go all the way to Zellers. Again I want to start screaming at people to get out of the way. I see a Sikh family getting a picture of Santa with their kid and I wonder "What the? ? " I see a couple of Muslim girls at the Cosmetic counter at The Bay looking at gift bags. Why does the cosmetics counter have to be in the front of the damn store? I really enjoy walking through that to get to men's clothes. Oh and when did Make Up become such a hard science that the people behind the counter have to wear lab coats? Are people now calling 911 for rouge overdoses?

So I make it back to Zellers and into the store. It's packed and I'm annoyed so I head for the paper towels. On the way, I pass by the frozen foods and see some ice cream. I'm fed up and I want some comfort food so I grab some. Then bingo, I find my paper towels and quickly grab them and head for the cash.

Mistake number 4. Now there is a HUGE lineup to get to the cash so I use one of the "seldom" used check out lanes and I'm the second person in line so I think "YES", and then a 5 minutes go by and the guy being served is still yakking about gift certificates. I was at the point where I was going to throw my ice cream at his head when someone else showed up at another cash register and things started to move a bit. However the woman in front of me was yakking about candles and even the cashier didn't want to hear it. She was a native woman and her only goal seemed to be getting people processed and out of the store. Bless her.

So It's my turn and she scans my stuff, while I get my wallet and take out $10 to pay for everything and I say a polite "how are you". She says fine, takes my money and gives me my change. We say goodbye to each other and that was that. It took less than 30 seconds and I was out of the store and on my way home.

Once again people were everywhere. I wished I was Moses at that point. I would raise my hands and the sea of people would part. Though I did made it back to the Sears, out the other side of the store and back to the street without any divine intervention. About half way through the Sears my body decided to send me a message. It's told me "I have some BUSINESS to take care of". Now I'm waiting for the light to change when by body strongly reminds me about the "Business" I need to do. So now I have to debate going back into the mall and finding a washroom or just head home. Both bathrooms are equal distance so I head home.

So 90 minutes later. I'm at home, taking care of my "Business" and all I have to show for it are paper towels and some lousy ice cream. I think I can see Vics point of view on the holidays now

My 2 bytes

Photo Friday. (I love my job, I love my job, I love my job)

Mommy Make the scary Man go away

This is taking FOREVER !!!

The good news is that I'm starting to fit into pants that I couldn't fit into before. The bad news is that I'm still fat. Why is this diet thing taking forever? No wonder people go off their diets. I can't eat this crap forever; I want a pizza dammit!

A few days ago, I was going through my closet (Insert your own "Coming out of the closet" joke here), and I found 3 old pair of pants that I haven't worn for awhile because they didn't fit. Well since I hadn't done my laundry last weekend, my options were limited and I thought what the hell. Good news, one fit perfectly, the second didn't fit but the third one did but there were some "complications". The pants did fit but my gut was hanging over the top of my pants and it wasn't pretty. I swear, from the side, it looked like the letter "P", everything was fine below the waste line but above, where the pants ended. I had this overhang which made wearing these pants not an option.

Actually there were some situations where I could have worn these pants now that I think of it; if I was driving a tractor trailer or going to wrestling for example. Then again I do live by myself and I can wear this offending combination around the apartment, as long as I remember not to open the door for ANYONE. I can imagine the look on people's face. I would have to have several days growth on my face and make sure that I have a beer in my hand and the first words would have to be "You got the Pizza?"

I know that weight loss takes time and I have accomplished a lot but I still have more to go and it seems like nothing is happening. It's driving me crazy. Let's just get the damn vacuum and hook it up to my ass already. My face is thinner and my ass has shrunken but enough already. I want this to end. I want to be a normal size already. No more fat guy!!!.

Oh I have learned something about dieting that I should share with you.

(1) Diet food isn't diet food if you eat 20 of them in one sitting.
(2) Slim Fast my ass.
(3) Starving yourself doesn't work, at 12:30 am your willpower ends and it's off to Wendy's because they're open late.
(4) A Taco Salad isn't a Salad people.
(5) Just spread the Mayonnaise on your ass and thighs, eliminate the middle man.


My 2 bytes

Jibber Jabber and whatever

Ok I'm tired and overworked. Well it seems like it anyway. I'm working my ass off and it seems like I'm just spining my wheels.

My mom has been checking out my blog again. She's been looking at the old posts and she found the fast fact where I mention that she records the Shopping Channel. (Its actually called "The Shopping Channel" here, no QVC or whatever).

I need a haircut and a shave, a cup of coffee and someone to snuggle with.

I think this post is too damn small but I have to go to work.

Zip.ca sent me a movie with the Olsen Twins. I didn't know it was them. I just heard Jack Osbourne was in it and I thought I would see if he could act. Only Eugene Levy saves this movie from becoming a total piece of crap.

Finally going to watch Monsters Inc this weekend. It came in from Zip last night.

I need a shower and I have to go to work. Please forgive me for the lame ass post. I'll think of something better to write about, and it won't be able to Hockey Strike. I promise.

My 1/2 byte (this wasn't worth 2 bytes)

(UPDATE: I switched from Outlook Express to Thunderbird 1.0 WOW!!! The ground breaking news keeps on coming)

I'm not doing it

When I say I'm not going to do something, I mean it. Now your wondering what brought this on? Well here goes. My sister is getting married next summer and apparently there's some lame ass tradition in that part of the country where the oldest male child (that would be me) has to dance with his sister, (the bride) in some stupid pair of socks while people throw money. Well I'm not doing it.

First of all, it's stupid. My mother said that someone else (who I will not name) did it, at his sister's wedding. Well guess what? I'm not him and I'M STILL NOT DOING IT. My mom says it's a local tradition but I'm not from there, this small French Canadian town near the Quebec border, called Sturgeon Falls. Guess What. I'm not really from there. I was born in southern Ontario and spent some of my early years there and then in a small town in north western Ontario named Long Lac. Then when I was 7, I moved out to Alberta and spent 10 years of my life there before I ended up moving back just before I graduated from high school. I'm Albertan, not an Ontarian.

Actually I didn't go back willingly. I was kidnapped and forced to go back kicking and screaming, and to a point, I still haven't completely forgiven them for that. I wanted to stay in Alberta but no…. I had to go and live in that backwater French town for my last year of high school. You know what kind of hell I went through being the "new" guy in a small town high school where everyone knew everyone else from grade 1? It was the loneliest year of my life. I had one friend; ONE FRIGGIN friend that whole year. Oh and to make matters worse, the stupid asses of the Ontario School system decided that I was 3 credits short to graduate from high school that year even though I was ahead of everyone. Their grade 12 math was my grade 11. I was a year ahead in almost every course and they said I was 3 credits short to graduate! ! ! BULLSHIT! ! . I wasted half a year taking bullshit courses to qualify to graduate.

So like I said, I grew up in Alberta, not small town Ontario so I feel no attachment to the area or the local traditions. I barely know any of my relatives, outside of my immediate family. I had very little exposure to them, and that includes my grandparents since I lived thousands of kilometers away from everyone and now I'm suppose to honor these traditions? I'm the only one in my family who doesn't speak French. I forgot my French by grade 3 or 4 since I never used it. My brother and sister learned French since THEY grew up in Sturgeon Falls, but I didn't. Oh another hint. I CAME BACK TO ALBERTA PEOPLE. THIS IS MY HOME ! ! !

Anyway, I think I finally managed to get my mother to understand that I'm not doing it. I hate dancing. I feel like a total twit doing it and I don't want to be stared at by lots of people I barely know and a bunch of people I've never met. Have I mentioned I haven't even met my future brother in law. I know his name is Gus and he prefers to speak French, but other than that? I know next to nothing about him or his family. I'm not going to perform like some side show freak for his half of the family. Again, they could be really nice people and good sports, but since I've never met any of them, I have no way of knowing, but I'M STILL NOT DOING IT. UNDERSTAND! ! !

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Being Canadian isn't as easy as it sounds

A little while ago I came across a web page and I thought what the. . . Apparently Americans are disguising themselves as Canadians when they travel outside the U. S. I'm not going to talk about why this is happening; instead I want to discuss how they are going about it. There is a company in the U. S. that is selling clothes with the Canadian flag as well as Canadian patches. Now my thinking is that if you want to disguise yourself as a Canadian, perhaps you should get some advice from a Canadian first.

So now let me talk about an idea I came up with, for the small sum of US$59.99 I will send to you, some "Canadian" clothes as well as my new course, "How to disguise yourself as a Canadian". In this course I will teach things like "Heading to Horton's for a double double" and when you should and shouldn't use "eh! ". Being Canadian isn't as simple as it sounds folks.

Trying to disguise yourself as a Canuck might now be enough so I recommend my course. I can show you how to turn your American trivia into valuable Canadian facts. Are you a big baseball fan? I can turn you into a Blue Jays fan. Be Canadian as you talk about the World Series games of 92 and 93. Talk about American players and yet be Canadian. Talk about Joe Carter, Paul Molitor, Jimmy Key and even Roger Clemens played for the Jays for a couple of seasons. I can show you even more.

Are you a news buff, you can talk about great Canadian reporters like John Roberts of CBS, Peter Jennings, the anchor of ABC news, Morley Safer of 60 Minutes and the list goes on.

A movie buff, how about Mike Myers and Jim Carrey? You can talk about great Canadian programming like Due South, and shows that were shot in Canada like The X-Files, some episodes of Smallville as well as some episodes of The West Wing. How about movies like X-Men, Mystery Alaska and The Fishing News?

As well, my course will include Canadian talk. You'll learn of the importance of Flannel, what a 24 is and why Zellers is a great place to shop.

For an additional US$25.00 I will include a CD of Canadian dialects. Want to speak Newfie? Or perhaps Ontarian even Albertan. This CD will have the information you need to that you can sound Canadian as well.

Oh and for an additional US$20, I'll include your Canadian history. Are you from Toronto, Regina or Calgary? Know local Canadian landmarks in case someone is suspicious of you and think that you're not a true Canadian.

So send me a cheque or money order and I will send you my course as well as some Canadian clothes and patches so you will be in perfect disguise and no one will bother you.

My 2 bytes eh.

Photo Friday

Ho Ho Hoooofffffffffff
Dedicated to Vics, my favorite anti Christmas blogger

Time to face the music and do some answering.

Alright I put this off lone enough. I said I would answer these questions and I will.

April:

Do you drive standard?

Nope, never driven a standard. I'm an automatic sort of person, though I'm sure I could grind gears with the best of them.


Why did you start blogging?

It just seemed like something that I wanted to do. I wanted to have a presence online and here I am.


R U crushing on Vics?

Maybe.

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Its sad when this happens

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been watching the local news as they been talking about a newborn’s elephant fight for life at the Calgary Zoo. Young Keemaya was born with an infected umbilical cord and was immediately rejected by its mother. I watched the same footage over and over again of the little elephant as I listened to the news reports about her condition, from bad, to good, to worse now she slipped into a coma and died.

During 3 weeks of Keemaya’s life, vets were there 24/7 to watch over her and support was coming in from all over the word, but one thing bothered me. They never named her until after her death. I don’t know if it was to remain objective and not become too attached to the young elephant, whose odds were 50/50 or for some other reason. I think she should have been named right away. Perhaps knowing that she had a name and an identity might have helped? Some would say that she wouldn’t understand things like that since she was a baby elephant but I wonder. Are we the only species with a sense of identity?

I’m am honestly sadden by the loss of young Keemaya. It’s really sad when you think that she never stood much of a chance and for her to go at this time of year, where people are full of you of the holidays. It’s really sad. God shouldn’t take babies, even baby elephants.

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Sorry Eh!

I am in no way, anti American. While I do question some of the reasoning behind the decisions that are being made by my neighbor to the south, this does not mean that I am anti-American in any way. I do not see the reasoning behind hating an entire nation and its people simply because of questionable actions from its leader. My last post was an attack on some of the close minded citizens and some people may have interpreted it as an attack on the U. S. in general. This is not the case. I was simply a reply to some stupid comments made by the extreme political right. I apologize if I had offended anyone. (Now get over it).

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John Stewart was right about U.S. Cable news

Alright this has been pissing me off for sometime and I can't let it go. When Bush was in Ottawa, a lot of the U. S. Cable news channels were talking about Canada and some really stupid things were said.

Fox News took some really nice shots at us. Specifically this Coulter person who seems hell bent on offending everyone possible. I'm convinced that there are two of these people because NO ONE PERSON CAN BE THAT STUPID.

I specially enjoyed how, the U. S. allows us to exist here, like they have any choice. How Canada is composed of the worst of the U. S. , Fleeing Tories from the Revolutionary War, Draft Dodgers from Vietnam and so on. I also enjoyed how she spoke about the U. S. could easily invade and take us over, I mean, what is her problem; if the U. S. treats their closest ally like this, no wonder they have so many enemies around the world.

Oh and CNN wasn't much better; having that Carlson person talking about Canadians spending all their time, worrying about their dogsleds. How are we supposed to take CNN seriously when they put him up against Parish, the former Liberal MP who was kicked out of caucus because of her outrageous statement? (Yeah we have nutballs in our halls of government as well), she's an independent now.

Oh I've added links to video of these comments so that I'm not misquoting here.

QuickTime version.

Windows Media.

Article Link

Personally, I don't think that either of these news channels has much creditability left and I feel less desire to watch either of them now. I'll probably stick to watching CBC Newsworld, CTVNewsNet and some BBC World News. Ahh who am I kidding; I'll still watch CNN as well as Fox News, it's finally licensed for distribution in Canada, even though its been available on the Cable service on Parliament Hill for some time. The politicians get to watch it but we didn't. I like seeing different points of view, even if Fox News is extremely right wing. It's a different point of view and I like the see the argument from all sides, though I'm sure that that Coulter wench wouldn't know an informed opinion if it hit her on the head.

On and one other thing that has yet to be said. Canada is a separate country with its own beliefs and morals. We are not, I repeat, we are not the 51st State. We do not have to agree with the U.S. on everything. Oh and if any Americans think that we do? Then you can go fuck yourself eh!

Oh yeah, after seeing this Coulter nutjob in action, I've decided that Michael Moore isn't that bad anymore. Congrats Michael, you moved down to number 3 in my list of all time dumb fucks.

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I really like Christmas Movies

You know what my favorite Christmas movie is? It's not something normally associate with the holiday, but this movie does take place during Christmas and there is some Christmas cheer in it. My favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard staring Bruce Willis.

Now everyone is probably saying that Die Hard is not a Christmas movie and I say you're wrong. There's holiday cheer and everyone is thinking about the holidays, but then they're interrupted by Hans and his bunch.

Remember Hans saying "It's Christmas, Theo, it's the time for miracles", or Theo saying "Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring except the 4 assholes running standard 2 by 2 formation". Oh it was a little harsh but not as bad as when John dressed the corps up like Santa Claus and let the note "Ho Ho Ho, now I have a machine gun. ".

At the end of the movie everyone is happy (except for the bad guys), like Christmas morning and the spirit of Christmas is felt by all. Ok, that's bullshit, but I still think Die Hard is a great Christmas movie for guys. Oh and if you think about it, Bruce Willis does save Christmas, so there's more holiday cheer


My 2 bytes.

Happy Birthday Mommy

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Mommy
Happy Birthday to you.

Have a great day Mom

Google owns my ass now

I'm come to the realization that everything I do online seems to revolve around Google in one form or another. Everything that I do has a connection to Google in some way, from web searches to e-mail to news to this very blog. Google has growing influence on my online life.

First thing, when I use a search engine, I use Google, but then again, don't we all? Google is a very effective tool for finding what we want online. It has become the search engine of choice. There are even toolbar add ons that put a Google search on it. It's even built into Firefox 1.0.

I'm also a user of GMail and why shouldn't I? After all I get 1 gigabyte of storage. 1 GIGABYTE ! ! ! Before GMail, how much space was everyone else giving? I can assure you that Yahoo Mail and Hotmail were not giving anywhere near that amount of space, but now we see them trying to catch up by offering 250 MB of space. I'll stay with my 1G thank you. (Oh I have a couple of invites if you want one, let me know)

Until recently, I had never really checked out Google News, but now I'm hooked. I haven't looked at any other news site since. Everything I need is on Google News. It's constantly being updated so I get access to the latest stories from news services from all over the world.

Oh this blog is done with Blogger, which is owned by Google. Once again Google has me there. Now only a week ago, Microsoft has started its "Spaces" service but after how long has Blogger been available for free? Again I'm a fan of Google.

It seems to me that Google is doing everything right while everyone else, including Microsoft is playing catch up. I'm now wondering what else Google will have for us in the future. Will we see "The Google Grid" as predicted by that flash movie I linked last week? I'm starting to wonder but for now, I'll just tattoo Google to my ass since they seem to own me, online anyway.

Well in all honestly, I am a consumer and I can choose where I do business, or what services that I choose to use and Google is providing the best service, which are free. So I will continue to use Google services and rub my ass where they put the tattoo "Property of Google".

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Post number 100

This is it, post number 100. Woo Hoo. I guess this means that I'm in this for the long haul. This isn't a fad thing that I will get bored with after a few weeks, so congratz to me.

During these past months leading up to post 100, I've had the opportunity to meet some really nice people, via their blogs and later by chatting on AIM or MSN messenger. I've put the tag board on so people could leave messages without the hassle of dealing with Bloggers comment system, and then I ended up switching to Haloscan so everyone could easily leave a comment. I've felt that I managed to find a new bunch of friends from around North America and beyond.

I've talked about many subjects from personal issues to predictions of the future, and these all have been my thoughts. I've gotten advice from other people about some items and gotten different points of view on different subjects.

My blog itself has changed from the generic look it had in the begining to the present look now. You've heard me rant about screen resolution issues. Oh how it drove me insane.

I don't want to do the thank you thing to everyone because it seems hooky and you know who you are. Anyway, my mind has drawn a blank so I'm going to say, until the next 100 and beyond, I hope to enjoy your company as I hope that you have enjoyed mine.

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I was asked to post this and I liked it so there

A: First, recommend to me:
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a musical artist, song, or album:

B: I want everyone [please please please??] who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want and I shall answer. [But I never said I was going to answr truthfully though. :) Depends.]

C: Then I want you to go to your journal[blog], copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything. [If you want. Really, I could care less.]

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Photo Fiday (OK its a comic but its Christmas related, sorta)

Oh and I dedicate this to LdyPayne

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Were in a crisis here

A call for help is being sent around the world. Help Canada, we have a desperate shortage here. We need more strippers to come to Canada.

I just read this on CTV' s website and I could not believe it. Apparently we have a Stripper Shortage in Canada and we need to have them come from other countries. Oh and when did Romania become the stripping capital of the world?

This started when Immigration Minister Judy Sgro had a temporary residence permit issued to a woman who helped with her campaign. Needless to say there was this buzz about ethics violations and now the Immigration Minister has closed that loophole that allowed the Stripper into Canada.

As I read this news article I was wondering what the heck was going on. Last year, nearly 700 work permits were issued to strippers, so they could dance in Canada. Oh and why Romania? Apparently most of the permits were issued to Romanians. I have to do some research on that. Is Romania home to a prestigious stripper school or something?

The good news is that this loophole will be closed and we will no longer have this influx, taking good stripping jobs away from Canadians (Canadian girls rock). The bad news is that Canadian strippers are not giving lap dances according to Industry critics so we need more Romanians (apparently they do).

Now who the hell is an industry critic for the Exotic Dancer industry? Some drunken guy who's sitting at the drool bar screaming "Take it off? " Hell, I can be an industry critic. I'll head down to the nudie bar, drink six (Molson) Canadians (it's a beer) and I too can be a critic for the Exotic Dancer industry.

Oh on a side note, there is a lot of work and skill to become an exotic dancer. You need a lot of upper body strength to work the "pole". (The Stripper Pole, you perverts. Get your head out of the gutter) and you need to know how to dance, (some do dance). I heard of a Canadian stripper who used to be an Olympic gymnast, but I have no details

Now back to this lap dance thing. Does this mean that Canadian strippers have too much self esteem to grind their behinds on the laps of Canadian males? I actually hope so. I hope that they have a lot of self esteem, make good money doing this job and enjoy the benefits of their success. I know they're strippers but even strippers deserve to feel pride in their work (Ok maybe they enjoy being naked in front of a bunch of drunken strange men, who knows)

Anyway this is it for my latest sex related post and I away Kati's comment about my obsession over sex, but until recently, the Department of Immigration had to ask these same questions.

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Media Tomorrow

Note: Click here before reading on

I'm going to assume (Yes I know what happens when you do, but too bad) that you took the time to watch the flash movie. I've always been interested in the media, from Television to Print, to the Internet. Communications has always been the one thing that makes out world even possible. Its the most important thing ever. How can we share ideas (or even the word of God) without communicating. Today we have many ways to communicate and some of use are always able to be reached. We carry our cell phones which can also send text messages and e-mail. Some are also camera phones and they send images to anyone, anywhere.

Recently there have been news reports about how bloggers have been an influence on traditional news organizations, and how we get out information. From bloggers being invited to the two conventions in the U.S. to determine who was going to run for president, to bloggers disproving a news report on CBS news, we are becoming an important factor in the media. We have become content providers as well as consumers.

The flash movie talks of a world where we the blogger are the source of news stories. The traditional media is gone and it is us that informs the world. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. There are some blogs that talk about some very interesting things (like this blog from this woman living in Iraq) and then there's my take on the adult toy industry. What I wrote is not news, its me being a smart ass.

What really bothered me is that people getting news will hae to rely on their internet connections and what about the poor who cannot afford access? Now were going to have a "haves and have nots" society for news and information? I have a real problem with that. Today newspapers are inexpensive and usually can be found for free, left by someone somethere, or can be read in the pubic library but if we live in the this world where information is all online, then were going to have a serious problem. Information should be free for all, not only for people who can afford online access.

I don't have too much else to say except that I was both fascinated by the ideas and predictions from what I saw and I hope that some things come to past and others do not.

My 2 bytes

I remembered Mom

Well this morning I mailed a birthday card to my mom, her birthday is on the 6th. Actually she brought it up. Something like, "you'd better send me a card or I'll move in" or something like that. Though the thought of my mom living with me sounds creepy. The place would be extremely clean but she would still drive me mad after a week. I wouldn't be able to go online because she would be at Pogo.com all the time. That's what she does right now. Actually I should complement her on the fact that she does go online a lot. Then again, she's not "old" old. (I'm so going to kick my ass kick the next time I see her.) Though she started knitting and that's a sign isn't it?

Anyway yesterday I saw "The Screen Savers" return after most of the cast and producers were fired and I have to say, WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP. First thing, this Kevin P. guy doesn't know crap about technology, but then again he works for a videogame channel, so why should he know. I noticed that the producers are trying to make Kevin the bad guy here but even though he sucks (and he doesn' sorry) its not his fault. Its the producer weasels at G4. Sorry Kevin P. but they are trying to make you a scapegoat.

Well my time is limited right now, I'm actually at work so I need to get back. I shall properly post later tonight when I get home. Take care.

My 2 bytes

I'm not weird ok

Why does everyone say that I'm weird? You know it all started with that Gery guy and I e-mailed him, asking what was weird about my site. Well I think I scared the crap out of him or something because I never heard from him again. Oh well.

So I wonder, does everyone thing that there's something odd about me? Yes I tend to look at the world a little different but does that make me weird? Actually I look at the world a lot of different ways and I'm always trying to discover why something is occurring, so I tend to ask "Why" a lot. I ask "Why" about many things, from simple things like "why doesn't the supermarket order more of my favorite type of ice cream since they keep running out" to "what were they thinking when they tried to rig the election in the Ukraine" (ok that was a what, but you get my meaning).

The reason I do that is because I base my opinion on all the facts that I get. I like to learn about things and decide my opinion based on that information as oppose to what the right or the left think. Like Chris Rock, I am an individual. I guess I'm weird for that.

As well, I've into a lot of things that are considered part of the geek domain, such as my love of technology, science fiction and videogames. While some of these items are more main stream now, I was interested in these things because it was my choosing, not because it was the "in" thing. I guess I'm weird for that as well.

Even my blogs, this and my geek blog (which I don't update nearly as much as this one and I really should post there as well) is my choice. I'm not doing it because it's the "in" thing, though I hear that many people do blog because of that, but once the blogging fad goes away, I will still be here writing about whatever I feel like While it's nice to know that you're reading this post, it's for me that I blog. I guess I'm weird for that as well.

Now I admit that some of my posts are a little odd, like the last once about the adult toy industry but let's be honest. These things do occur. There are processes going on in different industries that would make out say what the… Like the guy has to check all the screws on a jet engine. Now that is an important job but it's not something we really thing about. How about the guy who monitors the amount of "waste" going through the sewer system. Its might be considered disgusting but it has to be done. I think about these processes a lot. I guess I'm weird for that as well.

Basically I like to look at things from different angles and different points of view to understand things better. I want to understand why a cab driver would stoop so low as to steal a passenger's cell phone (no I will never let that incident go as long as I live). I want to understand why a small percentage of Islam feels that we in the west should all die. Why do they harbor such hate for us? As well, does this small percentage realize how difficult they make the world for other followers of Islam who's hearts are not filled with hate? I have met many Muslims in my life and they are the kindest people I have ever met. I want to understand why those air bubbles are coming up my toilet lately. I feel a need to know and I feel a need to share so if you think that I'm weird, well that's fine with me.

Oh and I was kidding about the trombone and flippers; I just thought it was funny.

My 2 bytes

These people have to be twisted

Earlier tonight, I was chatting with someone online and they sent me a link to the most disturbing sex toy I have ever seen. It was basically all the sexual organs of a female with the tip of a man at the end of it. WHO COMES UP WITH THIS STUFF?

I must admit that I'm a prude in real life, but also a closet pervert so I do know a thing or two about "toys". I mean if any of you claim that you've never once looked at pornography online, then you're LYING.

Now thinking about this whole industry, I realized that there's a lot of money involved and there has to be a lot of people in the process. I want to be in the boardroom of one of these companies. I want to listen in on these conversations. It would go something like this. "Sales on the Pocket Pussy are up 15% while sales on the Mighty Dong are only up 5%. How are the numbers on the Butt Plugs?" How could anyone keep a straight face through all that?

Another thing, WHO NAMES THIS STUFF? Let's see we have the Concubine Masturbator (I'm not linking any of this. Fine it yourself), the Eurasion Dong 3, or the ever popular (so I hear) the Rampant Rabbit. Then again I think it's the same people naming candy bars, like "Mr. Big" and "Oh Henry". I mean come on.

One thing I also noticed is that some the artificial women's organs are based in a real woman (a porno star). What I want to know is how can they be sure that it's accurate? Do they get her to sit in a mold or something? Do they get a guy to test it and compare it to the real thing?

That's another thing, who do they get to test these things? Is there one guy who comes into work and "tests" the prototypes and writes a report? "I felt a little pinching and chaffing towards the tip. Perhaps we can increase the diameter." Then he has to go home and his wife asks him how was work? Oh and is this the same guy who's taste testing the flavored condoms? I wonder if Banana is the most popular flavor.

Oh and who comes up with all these glow in the dark colors for condom and even dildos? Some of these things look like that they should be strapped to the wing on an airplane and used as running light? Are people looking for bright red toys? Do they need to glow in the dark? Did the power go out and you need something to light the room?

Oh and I'm not going to say anything about fur covered handcuffs other than they exist along with a lot of other creepy leather stuff. I want a hug from my lover not to be forced to wear a leather mask.

One other thing. If you're a woman and claim sexual harassment, how the hell are you going to prove it? "Your honor I was discussing our new line of vibrators" and it would be a valid argument.

Some people do enjoy these devices as they can add something to someone's sex life but what's wrong with cuddling and small kisses down someone's back?

My 2 bytes

Photo Friday. (I was never the favorite kid with my mom and perhaps I know why now)

I couldn't sleep

Its way too damn early in the morning for this but right now this seems like a good idea since I CAN"T SLEEP ANYMORE.

So far around 4: 30am I made a bunch of entries to Pepsi's (Canada) Win an IPod contest. On the back of the label for every 600ml Pepsi, there is a code. You enter the code to be part of an hourly draw for an IPOD. Yes I said hourly, every hour for 12 weeks. Now I've been keeping these codes, waiting for the right time to start entering them. Well at 4: 30am, it seemed like a good idea since I couldn't sleep. So a half hour and 35 codes (I've been saving these things for weeks) I get NOTHING. Nada, not a bloody thing. I have their logo on the side of this blog and I didn't win a damn thing.

You know, you'd think that Pepsi would reward me for this but noooo! ! ! I want an IPod. Grrrr. Maybe I should reconsider this style sheet (that's what this is after all). I wonder if Coca Cola would give me an IPod. If it has the Coca Cola logo on it then fine. Heck at this point, I'm willing to slap the Tampax logo on my blog if they send me an IPod. This is prime real estate people I get. . . . 5 to 10 visits a day. Ok maybe this won't work out.

Let's see, no one bought the Clay Christmas CD or the Carolyn book from Amazon via my blog and all I can say is that I'm proud of you all for resisting the urge to buy that crap. It shows that you think things through, that you're intelligent and that you know that it wasn't a good purchase. I'm proud of you all. (Cheap Bastards)

Now I have to ask, is this site weird? Gery seems the thing so. I e-mailed him and asked for an explanation but I haven't heard back from him yet. Maybe he thinks that I'm a nutball who wants revenge for such a comment. Perhaps he figures that I thought that "those were fighting words" and then I reached for my flippers and trombone and was going to issue a challenge. (Ok maybe I he has a point).

Well the sun should be coming up soon, say around noon. Actually sunrise will be at 8: 10am today with sunset at 4: 26pm. The winds are currently out of the South at 14Km/h and its 0 degree Celsius with a wind chill of -4. The UV index is low right now (because the sun hasn't come up yet). Let's check traffic. MMM there are no reports of delays into the downtown core. I guess that's good.

I guess that is what lack of sleep will do to a person. You've been warned. (And I'm not weird)

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I decide what I write, not some damn censor

I'm part of a online RPG group that plays via a message board and e-mail. You post what your character says and does. It's like that (ok I'm part geek(OK I'm a TOTAL GEEK)). Anyway one person made this post about the work FUCK. He was concerned about the use of this word and wondering if it was appropriate. Well to that I saw FUCK FUCK FUCK.

How dare this one person decide what I can or cannot say? What is it with some people who feel that they have the right to decide how another person can act, talk, listen, watch or even think? You know that this is all Janet Jackson's fault.

Ever since that Super bowl incident occurred last year, the FCC in the U.S. has been on a rampage to stamp out what they think is offensive content. What is even worse is that the "Religious Right" (I don't know why they call themselves that because they are neither) have been using the FCC to push their agenda of making America more like the; the closed minded fascists. Isn't the U.S. supposed to be the land of "free speech"?

If they're not careful, then more of their rights are going to be taken away from them. It's at this point where I no longer want to cross the border. I'm concerned that the U.S. "Thought" Police will come after me because of my blog.

Around Remembrance Day (Veterans day in the U.S.), Saving Private Ryan was suppose to air but many ABC stations choose not to air the program for fear of being fined because of the graphic nature of some scenes (the D-Day invasion was harsh, but pretty accurate apparently). What is next, documentaries will not be aired? When the hell did this small group get the right to decide what the hell I want to watch? Its makes me feel glad to be Canadian so I don't have to deal with this kind of bullshit (Actually I do but not often and we don't take it. The CRTC will pay for their arrogance).

Now I guess I should touch on this in order to be fair. In Canada, it is illegal to promote hate, so say a rally that talks about Killing (Insert minority group here) is illegal and the people who are responsible would be charged with a hate crime. I actually had this argument before when I mentioned this someone (some left wing U.S. University student) and she started screaming about free speech. Well my answer is this, we have free speech in Canada but you are responsible for what you say. You can't yell Fire in a crowded building, causing a panic and people getting hurt and not have to answer for your actions. We have something here called (this is going to shock some people) accountability. None of this, "My mom didn't love me enough" or "blame society" crap. You did it, you answer for it.

As for the RPG email group? Fuck'em those Fucking Fuckers.

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I lost some TV friends

Now I talked about this before and forgive me if you've heard this but I need to say this. G4 Media has finally destroyed a good thing. They ripped the heart out of great TV channel that all technophiles enjoyed and have left us with a piece of crap videogame channel.

I mentioned before how the last great programs were cancelled but I want to talk about the repercussions of this action. First people who moved to L.A. from San Francisco just a few months ago are out of a job. G4 was planing this all along and yet these people were forced to relocate in order to keep their jobs, which they now have lost. A really nice bunch of guys.

Now I think the webcam pics say it all. I'm normally see Alex with energy and full of life but to see him like this is heartbreaking. It makes me feel moral outrage. These gutless corporate whores have no shame. I read that when they were told that they were let go, they were given 4 hours notice to clean out their crap and leave. You come to work and BAM!!! You and a lot of your friends, including producers are let go. Their lives are turned upside down because or some bastard.

Now I think G4 and their parent company Comcast will regret this decision. These dumbasses have just pissed off the computer geek community (including the hacker set) and they will get bitten in the ass for it. I understand that Kevin's blog went through a Denial of Service attack for a couple of days (those I thought this was misguided, its not his fault that he was one of the lone souls that wasn't fired), but sooner of later, a group is going to get together and wage a cyberwar against these guys. We've already seen the level of incompetence that their IT department have. It took them months to move the Tech TV archives to their servers. Fans has created their own "unofficial" archive websites for this information. So now I sit back and wait for the battlecry to be screamed and I look forward to watching the mayhem that is soon to come.

A final last note, I found the Alex pictures and a lot of other information at this website . I always give credit where its due.

Again this was for myself if not anything else.

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Things that I learned today

Well today I learned something that I thought everyone would like to know. Who knows perhaps my wisdom will help you someday.

I learned that if you live on the ground floor of an apartment complex and your bedroom window is by the parking lot. Close your windows and pull the curtains shut if you decide to have sex (Note: This is really important if you have a partner as well. I never want to look in the direction of that apartment again. Freak, I was going to the mall and I didn't need to see that)

I also learned that Clay Aiken has a Christmas CD out. Now doesn't this cry buy me? Nothing says Christmas more than the runner up of the second American Idol singing? Come on look at him. He's such a talented young man. (Ok I have a Amazon Associate Account but its Clay ??? Click on the picture and buy him)



Yes Carolyn has a book out. Everyone remembers her from "The Apprentice". She also decided to market herself by writing a book about business. You've seen her rip people apart in the boardroom now you can too with the information in this book. (I'm such a whore, trying to sell this stuff. How can I sleep at night? Hopefully in a big pile of money)


I also learned not to look suspiciously at the chairman for the company that you work for during an early Christmas Party and accuse him of being up to something, because if he wasn't before, he will be after and you ended up on stage in from of everyone singing "Jingle Bells" BADLY.

I also learned that my bum is getting smaller. Yaaaa the diet is working.

I still haven't gotten anything from Pepsi. Grrrr. Cheap bastards.

I learned that some people don't know how to dress. Here's a hint, don't wear a red tank top under a white silk shirt. We can see the red you stupid tit. (It was someone at the brunch today who has yet to understand the concept of a MIRROR).

I learned that you can find a lot of stuff on Ebay if you type "Crap" in the search bar.

I learned that sales people don't like it when you say? "$80 ? Are you shitting me?. I could download these 10-15 year old videogames for free off the Internet"

One of you people who visit has a thing for manboobs.

I learned that I appreciate every one of you who visit my site. Thank you (NOW BUY SOME CRAP, Just kidding)

I learned that the Blogger Spellcheck doesn't work very well

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Porno Music

I've decided that I feel sorry for people who work in the adult entertainment industry; specifically the people who work on Porno Films. I mean if you were say a camera operator, how would you make a resume tape of your work if you were trying to go into another field. You work would all be adult material. Think about it. Camera Operator person wants to get a job doing news after not getting any adult work for awhile. He sends his resume tape in and Bam. There are these shots of people doing "the deed". His closeup work on "certain areas" and of "certain actions". I guarantee that he's not gong to be doing news reports about a church picnic anytime soon.

Though I think that it's far worse for the musicians who make that cheesy music. They dream of being the next "big thing" and they end up recording music for "Beach Sluts 17" or something. You know, when they record a score for a major film, the actual movie is shown as the orchestra plays along. It might have something to do with timing or inspiring the musicians or something like that. I wonder if they do the same with pornos. The band plays while they watch the scene take place. I hope not, because it would get boring after awhile.

Now that I think about it, working in the "smut" industry must hold some sort of embarrassment for people. What do you tell your mom? "Mom, I'm a lighting director for porno movies. It's my job to make sure that we can see things from underneath while something is going on". I know that mom's are suppose to be proud of their children but I could see my mom telling people that I'm a drug dealer before telling them that I worked doing porn.

What about National Take your daughter to work day? You do that once and your daughter will be wearing clear heels for the rest of her life. According to Chris Rock, clear heels are the new international symbol for SKANK. Any child of people who work in the porno film business is going to suffer in one form or another and I'm not even talking about the actors in the films.

The actors are going to have it worse eventually. Now everyone manages to go into mainstream entertainment like Ron Jeremy or Tracy Lords. If they become parents, they will have to explain this to their children. You know Madonna is going to have to explain that sex book to her kids one day.

Perhaps these people feel pride in what they do and I'm glad if they do but you still have to wonder what their normal lives are like when they are not at work. Do they volunteer at church or spend all their free time with their smut friends. Do the children play together? I wonder because there has to be some sense of shame. Not everyone has to be proud of what they do in that business and I'm not even going to talk about the guy who has to clean up the set after the scene is done. Someone get a hose.

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Yesterday was National Sex Day

I was flipping through the Calgary Sun around suppertime and I came across this article about National Sex Day. At least I think that was what it said but I had to leave and perhaps my mind was playing tricks with me.

The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of National Sex Day. People could meet on the street and BAM. Go into a hotel for a quickie. All hotels would have hourly rates that day, instead of just the really seedy ones (they have hourly rates so you can take a NAP! ! ! ).

What really disturbs me is that I missed it. National Sex day being on a Friday is brilliant. I wish I had thought of that before. It's a good pick up line. You can hand a potential partner a brochure and say "Did you know that today is National Sex Day? In this country, there are not enough people having sex and we need to encourage more people to have sex, so how about it? "

Television programming could be dedicated to it as well. Come on, we all want to hear Oprah talk about sex. What kind of Martha Stewart Living episode would be see? Well since she's in a woman's prison right now, it not be something that normal viewers would expect but I've had my suspicions for some time.

Even children's programming can reflect National Sex Day, We can find out once and for all if Jerry Falwell was right about Tinky Winky. We can find out if Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street are just roommates but I'm scared of what Barney, the purple dinosaur would have. Maybe we shouldn't have Barney on that day.

Now what about Prime Time? A shocking episode of The Simpsons, where Bart and Lisa see an unauthorized Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, where they're S&M antics go too far and once again Scratchy is dead. What about Survivor ? What kind of competitions would they have? Just as long as that Richard guy isn't around. He walks around naked too much already. (Note: the Itchy and Scratcy thing was someone's elses idea but they wish to remain anonymous)

What really bothers me is that I missed National Sex Day. Why didn't someone e-mail me about this before? There were no commercials like "Tomorrow is National Sex Day, remember to get some". I simply missed out, just like everything else. Oh well, at least I'll have time to vote at the advanced polls today for the provincial election.

So next year, I'll be watching and waiting for National Sex Day. I'll even have a MP3 player with that cheesy porn music ready.

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Photo Fridays (Put this on the new 20 dollar bill)

Alright, as long time readers may (or may not) remember, I threw a fit when the I saw the Queen on the new $20 bill that the Canadian Mint has issued. I remember saying enough was enough and it was time to put a Canadian on the bill. Well I'm willing to reconsider if they use this picture instead.

Ok its time to come clean about my feelings towards the Queen. I'm still disgusted at how the Monarchy first acted when Princess Diana was killed in that crash. It was disrespectful, small and petty of them. There I said it.

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Corporate Whores are destroying my favorite TV channel again

It’s no secret that I’m a tech geek. I’m really into technology but I don’t discuss it too much (then again, I’m a blogger so that’s hint number one right there), though Tech is “in” so too bad for the stupid jocks. Geek is in people, just get rid of the glasses and get some contact lenses and you’ll be cool.

Moving on, a favorite cable channel I watch is TechTV (it’s really G4TechTV, but I’m not calling it that) and recently, they were bought and merged with this lame ass videogame channel called G4. After the merger, things started to go down hill as I started to see so much crappy programming, like shows about guys playing multiplayer games and jocks who play sports videogames. It was mostly crap, but some of my favorite shows managed to survive in one form or other.

However recently it got so bad that one of the fired guys had to come up here to Canada to do his show again and its doing very well (with many U.S. fans asking if Call for Help 2.0 will be seen in the states).

Now these pinhead executives have struck again. Now they killed the “The Screen Savers” and “Unscrewed”. Now I wasn’t that big a fan of Unscrewed but what they did to The Screen Savers is pathetic. First they got rid of the older hosts (Leo came up to Canada to do a Canuck version of Call for Help) and Patrick just went his own way.

So we had younger hosts but they kept the formula of the show until now, where almost everyone got the boot, including the new guy Alex Albright, he’s in my Tech Blog link, Actually everyone in my Tech Blog Links are related to Tech TV.(I love Technology).

Now I need someone to start to new Tech Channel or perhaps all those people who lost their jobs (including Cat Swartz, I so miss her, she has a monthly column in Stuff Magazine and she's doing something for Comedy Central) should come up here and work for TechTV Canada. Everyone else is concerned about what kind of crazy crap is going on with Bushy (even Colin Powell left, god help us, he was the really smart guy) that everyone is talking about coming up to Canada anyway, so come on people, the Great White North is calling you. It’s a beautiful land of lakes, and streams and forests. There are a lot of people up here that are into technology so come on up, especially the good looking tech women. I want a girlfriend who uses Firefox. (Ok I’m straying)

I do hope the best for the people who lost their jobs from this boneheaded move and I hope that they land on their feet. Good luck and remember, CANADA !!!!

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I am my Blog

First thing, the message board will return. There seems to be an issue with the people hosting the board (their website is down as well) and as soon as it appears that the problem is fixed, I will put it back up, I just commented it out anyway, all I have to do is remove the comments tags from the HTML.

Someone said to me recently, that my blog constantly changing and I guess that is true but then again, I hate the same stale old thing, don't you? The generic templates were starting to make me ill. So tonight I changed where how comments are made. I saw it on Brandie's blog and I STOLE THE IDEAL. (For the record, I found Brandie via Vics, she's so worldly).

You know I've borrowed many items that are on my blog. I stole the Mood icon from Kati, I stole the Message board and the clock from Vics and now I've stolen the comment function. I hope you all forgive me.

Then again isn't that how we try to evolve, by taking the best parts of others and trying to make it a part of ourselves? Just a thought.

As well, since I am my blog. My blog reflects me, my thoughts, my words and my social life to a point. I've met some very nice people thanks to my blog, though I fear that I cannot afford to fly to Manchester to take a lovely Lady to the theatre (If I go to Manchester, its going to be longer than a night).

Actually what I wish I could do is have you all come to Calgary for the Stampede, The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth. Well perhaps I can bring a little Stampede to everyone through my blog. Those days will be long Blog entries. The whole city goes nuts, and the population actually doubles because of all the tourists.

In recent weeks, I've joined Blog Explosion and added the Creative Commons license as well, (again, stolen from Vics and Kati) and I've visited so may other blogs and I'm just waiting until someone offers me a job to do this for a living. It would be nice, I have far more talent than that jackass Rick Bell at the Calgary Sun. All he does is bitch, bitch, bitch. He reminds me of an old lady.

Now were getting to my personal hell. What to write about. I want to be witty, charming and interesting but it seems that I can't be anything like that. Some people say that I don't even need to try and be funny, I'm just am, but it honestly does take some effort. I don't have an audience to work with. If I had some material, to work with then I'm ready to go. SJ was talking about her daughter's invisible friend (why haven't I ripped anything off from your blog SJ) and I made a comment about my invisible friend being named Donald Trump but he never bought me anything, the cheap bastard. A comic is only is as good as his material and If can't think of anything funny then I'm screwed

Well I'll go get something to eat and call it a night. I found this recipe for "Condoleezza Rice", mmm that sounds exotic.

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What does it mean to be Canadian

I talked about Canadian identity a while back and I said that I would come back to it and I've decided that today was the day.

Over the weekend, I was watching this program on CBC Newsworld. It was about who is the Greatest Canadian ever. Now they had an online poll and they're doing profiles of the top 10 people and I watched a couple of them on Saturday (and for the record, only 2 of them are hockey related, Wayne Gretzky and Don Cherry) .

There were 2 profiles on that night, the first was of Dr. Frederick Banting, the inventor of Insulin, and was hosted by Mary Walsh, a famous Canadian in her own right (Hearing her talking about stuffing bread up a turkey arse was priceless). Well the show about Dr. Banting was interesting and made an impression. Millions of lives have been saved by this country doctor from Canada.

Now what really caught my interest was the second profile of Lester Pearson, a former Prime Minister (Leader of the Liberals back in the day when Liberal wasn't a dirty word, I still hope Paul Martin, the current P.M. can change that). This profile was hosted by Paul Gross (the Mountie in Due South, a Canadian program that was seen all over the world). He talked about how he defined what Canada is today. From the creation of the U.N. peace keeper (his idea from when he was the Canadian representative to the U.N.) to the Canada Heath Act, old age pensions, official bilingualism and even our flag. (Before he changed our flag, we had something that looked like it belong on a British merchant ship.(it had the Union Jack on it).

I think of what being Canadian means to me and I realized that he made it all possible. He was the Prime Minister back in 60's and he had a minority government (Just like the current P.M. Paul Martin but if anyone thinks that I'm going to compare the two, then forget it. Paul Martin doesn't stand anywhere near the calibre of Pearson). Despite the constant danger that his government could fall, he managed to accomplish so much, including our flag.

Someone once wrote to me and said that they found it difficult to define their national identity while I could talk about what it meant to be Canadian. Now I realize that this was all because of the effort of one person, Lester Pearson. So now I have someone to thank; because of him I know how I should behave as a Canadian. It's because of his efforts that I have this identity as a Canadian that I can point to with pride. I can say "Being Canadian means this" or" that" (Though the top of my head doesn't come off like in South Park).

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A high point for my friends (I hope)

Well its early Monday morning and I realized that my weekend was almost a total waste. Saturday I cleaned and caught up on some of my TV viewing (thank you to whoever invented the PVR) but I' still days behind on some stuff. Oh well.

Ok SJ, I watched the first DVD of the First Season (that's a lot of firsts) of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I will admit that the shows are pretty good. I'll send the first DVD back when I head for work and save the second DVD for next weekend. The final DVD of the first season is on the way.

I'm glad to see that Hugh is slowly coming back to us. It kind of creeped the heck out of me, the way Hugh disappeared like that. It was an emotional rollercoaster but I look forward to seeing regular posts from Hugh again.

LdyPayne is finally settled in her new apartment and I'm hoping that she will start blogging regularly again. She was ranting to me about her new job on AIM Messenger over the weekend and I said that she should post it on her blog. I wonder if she did? I guess I will have to check later on.

Kati, I think we should have a contest to see who had the most interesting weekend. I bet that you would win, miss Festival of Trees.

Vics, I'm starting to wonder if were cut from the same cloth. I'm really starting to believe that we think the same about many things.

Now to the people that I have just addressed, I have come to think of you as my online friends even though I don't think that we will ever meet (LdyPayne is the exception, I knew her for awhile and I got her into blogging) . So anyway I just want to say Thank you for making feel that these words that I type matter and at the same time, I want to thank you for the privelge of being allowed to read your words as well.

Oh and if your screen resolutions is set to 800X600, TOO BAD. I'm not fixing the problem. This blog was for me first and I like it the way it is. So I'm not going to let it bother me anymore. (Its the Blogger NavBar and Blogger can fix it themselves. (Actually it looks good on Firefox so I blame Microsoft for my pain and suffering. I wonder if I can sue?)

Well I'm going to play some "Simpsons: Hit and Run" and head for bed. Good night my friends.

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One last thing, you'd think that Blogger would have the word Blog on their spellcheck.

Its driving me insane

You people are going to drive me to drink, I swear. I cannot get my blog to look good at the 800X600 Resoultion. Now I wonder, why are you people doing with your monitors set that way!!!! Get a 17 inch monitor and if your running one, then change you settings!!!!

I try to make my blog look nice for everyone and then I have to deal with my sidebar disappearing to the bottom of the screen or some other crap like that. I don't know what your excuse is but CHANGE YOUR RESOLUTION DAMMIT.

Actually if your using Firefox then I'm sorry about my rant and happy surfing since this page does look good while using Fixfore at the lowest (My videocard cannot go any lower) setting of 800X600. But if your using Internet Explorer then stop it RIGHT NOW.

Did you know that the U.S. government has advised that Internet Explorer isn't safe? Its true, because there are some concerns about Microsoft Technlology giving Explorer too much power and it would make it easy for someone (Like a bad guy) to do damage to your computer just by visiting a web site. Why do you think you have all that Adware crap on your system. I know a guy who uses Explorer and now tomorrow I have to go and fix his system because it keeps showing pop ups of GAY PORN. Want gay porn on your system, then keep using Internet Explorer. If you want to say NO to gay porn, then download Firefox. I have a link on the bottom of the page. WAAAAAYYYY at the bottom if your screen resolution is set at 800X600. Do it and you'll be far more secure online and you won't have banner's of guys doing strange things to each other.

Now start using Firefox now and enjoy my site the way it was meant to be enjoyed.

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Photo Friday (My first hangover)

Ahhh we all remember our firsts. Our first best friend. Our first pet, our first girlfriend and my first hangover. Oh, that's not me but you get the point.

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YES I changed it again

Alright, I switched to this new template because I was having issues with the old one with people who were running on 800X600 Resolution. It is this reason and this reason only that I have chosen made this change(so I hope you people are happy now).

Personally I liked the old one just a little bit better but I have to be concerned about the masses. Also you might have noticed that I put the message board up and if I would have put it on the old blog setup then everything would have been so smooshed in the old template that it would have been unusable in my opinion.

Now how long until I start getting checks from PEPSI ? (Drinks a large glass of PEPSI and smiles for the Camera).

Actually I do drink the stuff and I have been buying a fair bit of Diet Pepsi (Where's my check?)lately. Up here in Canada, Pepsi (Show me the MONEY) is running this contest where they are giving away an IPOD every hour for 12 weeks. I just need the pin numbers on the back of the bottles to enter. (Give me an IPOD Pepsi and we'll call it even).

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My Mom's been here

Like I said, my mother was here. Now I’ve given this URL to my mother for the heck of it since I figure that I’m not going to say anything so offensive that she will be shocked (That was before I started dropping the F bomb with my last post).

Now I’m having second thoughts about my mommy being here, especially after I talked about the sex blogs and “power tools”. Now I know that my mother doesn’t expect me to be innocent and prim and proper but on the other hand I don’t think my mother would want me to discussing things like fisting and why I left keys in there (which I never did, ANY OF THAT)

Well some people whose blog I frequent mention that they don’t tell their parents about their blog and I get the impressions that another person doesn’t care so I’m a little divided. Now I do feel a little bad talking about perverted things when my mother can come by and read about what I say but they are my thoughts and I don’t talk about such things often. To be honest, I find discussing sex to be rather boring after 5 minutes. It’s usually all talk and no action anyway. I’d rather discuss other things like why I haven’t talked about Mr. T. yet.

Well my mom knows that this blog contains my thoughts and that they are mine to discuss and if I say something that she’s not impressed with then that’s too bad (Like how I flamed my Aunt on the Sept 12th post. Actually she never said anything about that post so either she hasn’t read it or she secretly approves. I know that she wasn’t impressed with the whole episode herself but she chooses to take the high road but since I live so far away from the rest of the family, I can give my shoots as I see if and I can always get on a plane and fly home.

Anyway my mother is very proud of her son’s blog and she ever e-mailed the URL to my brother who I think visits it sometimes anyway (though I have no proof yet.)

Oh yeah, one last issue. I have a feeling that my mommy (and perhaps other people will want to leave a message but don’t want to bother with a Blogger account so I put up a message board so everyone can now say how nuts I really am.

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Grrrrr

First thing, no one seems to know what I'm talking about with Jacko in my last post but I found one of the old commercials . It seems that no one claims to remember him though someone I talked to remembered him being on the Simpsons. Actually it was the Austrian episode and they showed a picture of him holding a big battery. Anyway the link is there and enjoy Jacko as much as I do. OY !!

Anyway I've noticed that some visitors use the screen resolution 800X600 and you people are annoying the piss out of me. It turns out, that the template of my blog reacts badly to having pictures on the top of the page in that lower screen resolution. In fact what happens, is that everything gets pushed down past my sidebar and I ended up spending 3 hours, fixing the problem last list (I was up to 2:30am). Anyway I found a solution to this problem so I HOPE YOUR ALL HAPPY. GRRRRR.

Finally its Remembrance Day and I have to work for those fucking cheap slave driving bastards. Its suppose to be a holiday, and they're not even paying me time and a half or giving me a day in lieu. What do these people want, my blood? Oh get this, we don't have a Christmas party, they call it an employee appreciation dinner and your not allowed to bring a guest. CHEAP BASTARDS. Oh and they having it as a Sunday Brunch so if someone drinks and drives, they're not liable. I pray for a new job. God please give me a new job where I will be happy and smite these CHEAP UNCARING SELFISH ASSHOLES. GRRRR.

I really need a cookie.

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