Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Guess what I got for Christmas

Today at work, everyone received a "gift" package from the company. It comprises of items that are still good but have been return to us the wholesaler for one reason or another. Currently I work for a pharmaceutical wholesaler and most of the items are related in one way or another. Confectionary goods for the front of the store, Health and Beauty products or some other items that we sell. Now many of these gift packages had names on them so they were meant for specific people including myself. Here is a list of what was in my gift box.

1 1.89L Bottle of ABC Liquid Laundry Detergent
1 package of 14 Saran Quick covers for wrapping bowls
1 Box of Huggies Baby Wipes
1 Can of BBQ Pringles
1 Can of Regular Pringles
1 Box of sugar free chocolate chip cookies
1 box of Crest Whitestrips Premium
2 tubes of Aquafresh Toothpaste
1 bottle of Stresstabs Vitamins (someone knows me)
1 can of Edge Shaving Gel
1 Flex toothbrush
18 bags of different "To go" Chocolates
1 black cherry lollipop
1 bag of Lifesavers Gummies

1 box of Tampax Tampons

Now read the last item again of this list. Someone decided that I should receive a box of tampons. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING TO DO WITH A BOX OF TAMPONS! ! ! !

In case no one has figured it out yet. I'm a male (hold on a sec, yep, there still there) I am indeed a man and not a woman. I have the male equipment. I just checked. Its no secret that I live alone and that I'm not in any relationship so why the hell would the people putting these things together decided that I need TAMPONS! ! !

The package includes Shaving Gel. Male shaving Gel for my face when I shave my face in the morning so there are male items in here but why Tampons? What the hell am I going to do with them? Throw them all in a public pool and watch them grow? Carry some around just in case a woman needs one? Yeah if I had a penny for every time a woman asked me for a tampon, I'd be penniless.

I remember as a kid I would watch commercials talking about "feminine protection" and I wondered what they were talking about. All I knew that it had something to do with women playing tennis or riding a bike. For the longest time I thought there was a black market for pink Uzi's. Though I could never figure out what the blue water had to do with guns.

Now I'm starting to wonder. Does someone at work think that I'm a dyke or something? Do I need to start "proving" to people that I'm male? Lord I hope not because I'm sure that it will cost me my job.

Perhaps I should put the box up for sale on Ebay. I wonder how much I could get for it.

Well, I'll probably leave them in the laundry room in my building and I'm sure "someone" will take them. Lord knows I don't need them. I take pleasure in peeing while standing up. Oh in regards to those things are for. I don't want to go through that. I'll pay for dinner every time thank you. I'll open the door and I'll remember to put the seat down. I'll go to the ballet if I have to. I'm just glad that my plumbing is so simple to deal with.

My 2 bytes.

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