Yesterday was National Sex Day

I was flipping through the Calgary Sun around suppertime and I came across this article about National Sex Day. At least I think that was what it said but I had to leave and perhaps my mind was playing tricks with me.

The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of National Sex Day. People could meet on the street and BAM. Go into a hotel for a quickie. All hotels would have hourly rates that day, instead of just the really seedy ones (they have hourly rates so you can take a NAP! ! ! ).

What really disturbs me is that I missed it. National Sex day being on a Friday is brilliant. I wish I had thought of that before. It's a good pick up line. You can hand a potential partner a brochure and say "Did you know that today is National Sex Day? In this country, there are not enough people having sex and we need to encourage more people to have sex, so how about it? "

Television programming could be dedicated to it as well. Come on, we all want to hear Oprah talk about sex. What kind of Martha Stewart Living episode would be see? Well since she's in a woman's prison right now, it not be something that normal viewers would expect but I've had my suspicions for some time.

Even children's programming can reflect National Sex Day, We can find out once and for all if Jerry Falwell was right about Tinky Winky. We can find out if Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street are just roommates but I'm scared of what Barney, the purple dinosaur would have. Maybe we shouldn't have Barney on that day.

Now what about Prime Time? A shocking episode of The Simpsons, where Bart and Lisa see an unauthorized Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, where they're S&M antics go too far and once again Scratchy is dead. What about Survivor ? What kind of competitions would they have? Just as long as that Richard guy isn't around. He walks around naked too much already. (Note: the Itchy and Scratcy thing was someone's elses idea but they wish to remain anonymous)

What really bothers me is that I missed National Sex Day. Why didn't someone e-mail me about this before? There were no commercials like "Tomorrow is National Sex Day, remember to get some". I simply missed out, just like everything else. Oh well, at least I'll have time to vote at the advanced polls today for the provincial election.

So next year, I'll be watching and waiting for National Sex Day. I'll even have a MP3 player with that cheesy porn music ready.

My 2 bytes