MMMm Got Pacman?

Why don't we have cool stuff like that here? Seriously?

Talking about my damn vacations

2010 is not a good year for vacations, at least not for me. I found myself going back to small town Ontario twice for family reasons, and while I am looking forward to a brief visit to Fort McMurray in October, 2010 was not the year of travel for me. I was suppose to go to London, but did that happen? NOPE. Instead I stayed in Calgary for a yucky cold and damp summer. Bleech.

Needless to say, I've been spending a lot of time planing my vacations for next year. Yes I said vacations. I was planning to go to London this year and I just delayed the trip. I didn't cancel it. I'm still going to London, I'm just going in 2011. I'm still looking at hotels and prices, and so far at this point, I'm still planning to go in August. I'm still planning on booking my flight in Feb/March because that's when the big seat sale happens. It could mean the difference between a direct flight between Calgary and London, and a stopover in Toronto, and Iceland. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of stopping in ICELAND, but if I can get a direct flight? I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna do it. I'm looking at the Expresss Holiday Inn in Hammersmith as where I to stay. It's fairly close to the "tube" and as long as I'm close to that, Vics says I can go anywhere in London. I'm really looking forward to it.

I have a feeling that I'm actually going to feel like I'm in a different place this time. When I was in Chicago last year, I was cool to be there, but to be honest, I didn't feel like I was away from home. I easily adapted to the city and was taking the trains like a regular, but London, I have a feeling will feel different, and for a change, I will be the one with a funny accent..

There's also the trip San Diego to meet up with my other online friends. This is going to happen at (insert singing angels here) Comic Con. This is such a big deal in the geek world that the normal world takes notice. I keep checking the website for the Con for when the passes come on sale because they sell out fairly quickly. This is how quickly they sell out. The 4 day passes and the preview night have already sold out. They sold out at the 2010 Con, so I never even got a chance at the passes with the preview night. PISS ME OFF. Oh well, no preview night for me.

So summer of 2011 is going to be a lot of fun between travelling to San Diego and London. I need something to look forward to after what has happened with the lack of vacation fun of 2010. 2010 sucked overall.

My 2 Bytes.

Religious Douchebag.

I'm late, I think, well I need to blog some more. Why? I don't know, but I just think that I should.

There's this guy who thinks he a man of God, but in reality he's just a racist hypocrite douchebag, who happens to run a church. This bonehead has done stuff like put up signs that Islam is the Devil in front of his lame excuse of a church, but his latest scheme to get attention (which has worked), is his plan to burn the Quran on September 11th

Apparently this wackjob was on CNN this morning and he's starting to change his tune and is hinting that perhaps his so-called church won't be doing this after all. Now the last thing I want to see is some desecrate a holy book, I'm curious to see what would happen if they went through with it. Personally I think pissing off a bunch of people who are known for their outrage at such desecrations is not a good idea. 

Now I honestly believe that some Muslims get a little too extreme over their religion, but then again, so do Christians. Specifically some in a Florida church who plan to burn a Quran on September 11th. I honestly do not believe that this is how the victims of 9/11 want to honored.

Another thing, I've thought that certain Muslims unjust in their thinking that they have the right to decide how others think and what they can and cannot say. I was against the protesters about the Danish Comics in 2005. I was against the arresting of a British teacher because she allowed a child to name a teddy bear to be named Mohammad, why what these guys are doing is deliberately trying to piss them off. 

Is it just me or is it a bad idea to piss off a bunch of extremists who are famous for strapping explosives to their body and detonating it, kill themselves and many other people around them? 

Let's be honest as well. This whole Quran burning is for one reason and one reason only. It's about hate. These people hate Muslims because they are different than themselves. Why I don't agree with some of their beliefs, I don't hate them. Also, the stuff that I have a real problem about isn't really Islam, but cultural. I'm against the women being covered from head to toe. I'm against the Iranian court ordering a woman to be put to death for adultery. The people who act in that manor isn't because of Islam. They use it as an excuse to act that way. I've met many Muslims and I've always thought they were the nicest people in the world.

Too bad the same thing can't be said for the people who want to burn the Quran on September 11th.

My 2 Bytes

One frigging day I’ll blog and stay blogging I swear.

Today, I was surprised to see a comment posted by someone other than the damn Chinese Spammers today. Miss Jay made a comment, and I’m glad that she’s back. I’ ve always enjoyed reading her blog. I’m trying to come up with something witty to describe how well she writes, but I’m coming up with an Epic Fail. I’m such a fan that I’m planing to go to London next year and see a different blogger friend....wait, that’s not right. Well I am planing to move back east after getting my MBA, so maybe I’ll meet her then...my blog friend.

So I’m happy to see that she hasn’t blog faded after all. She is indeed back, and now once again, have that nagging need to blog again, and who knows if I can start blogging regularly again, perhaps I can start writing naughty stories again for someone else....don’t ask.

I think my problem is that my life has become so mundane. Days seem to blur together into weeks, and weeks into months and all I see is the same. Every frigging day. That’s why i need to do something different. I need to go to the next level. One of those things is the London trip next year, as well as the trip to San Diego, for Comic-Con with my City of Heroes friends. I’m sick and tired of going back the that small town in Ontario over and over again. The town where my family is, but I have no attachment to.

I am going back in time so to speak on October. I’m going back to Fort McMurray. Where I grew up, What I feel is home. Sure my family doesn’t like there, but my mom is going to be visiting when I go there as well. Strangely, she also sees it as a homecoming. I find it strange in the fact that she was one of the people who forced me back east. However looking at it now, I think like me, she felt it was time to be closer to family. I see that now, but then....I was less than understanding.

I’m still debating on if I should do the direct flight to London from Calgary, or do the connecting flight in Iceland. I’ve gone through this in my head for awhile, over a year, but I still haven’t decided. I think it’s just cool of stoping in Iceland just to say that I went to Iceland. Do you know anyone who’s been to Iceland? Probably not but still, it’s frigging ICELAND.

I’m going to cut this short because I need to go back to work soon, and I don’t want this to be another one of the many unfinished blog posts that I have written. So once again, I’m gonna try and blog again. Who knows, maybe I’ll write about my boob fetish again. Wait, the one time I write about the boob fetish is the time my mom shows up.....I can explain mom.

My 2 Bytes

I'm going home.

I'm going home for Thanksgiving, and I'm really looking forward to going. I haven't been home for years, lots of years. Now I'm probably confusing some people right now, since I spent Christmas with my family, and was back east for my brothers wedding, and my fathers funeral. There's a simple explanation for this. While my family is from and still lives in Ontario, I've never considered it home. I grew up in Fort McMurray Alberta. From grades 2 to 11. I consider Fort McMurray home. Like I said before. I haven't been there for a long time. Far longer than I care to admit, but I feel far more attachment to this place than anywhere in Ontario. So my mother will be up visiting long lost friend for 3 weeks in the fall, those 3 weeks will include Thanksgiving weekend, so I'm going up. I'm going home.

It's weird that I'm the only person in my family that feels this kind of attachment towards Fort McMurray. My sister is going back in July for a few weeks, and my brother was born in Fort McMurray, but I'm the only one who feels a real connection. Sure my mom is talking about finding our old house, and I plan on doing that myself, but she doesn't feel like it's going home. It's not her home. It's my home.

When we moved back east, I did not take it well. In fact I made my parents life a living hell. I look back at how I acted soon after moving back east to Sturgeon Falls Ontario, and I realized that those days were not my proudest moments. However they failed to understand that they took me away from my home and brought me to a town that to this day that I don't like. Now my parents understand that I feel no attachment to that town, but back then...I was an asshole, and admit it, but to defend my actions. They took me away from my home one year before I graduated high school, As a result, someone screwed up my school transcripts and I had to do an extra semester of high school, I ended up going to school in some stupid Northern Ontario community college. Life did not go the way I wanted it to. For the record, I do not blame my parents for things not going the way I wanted them to. I blame Sturgeon Falls, Ontario. I also blame myself for listening to my parents.

Fort Mac is an extremely expensive place to live these days, but it's still home. I still want to go there. I want to relive my childhood, by visiting my old schools, my old Elementary, Jr High and High School. I want to see my old house, I want to see the bank where my mom used to work as a Loans Officer, I want to see Syncrude, where my dad worked. I want to see the Oil Barons play hockey again....I want to go back in time and relive the good parts of growing up. That's what happens when you go home. Back to Fort McMurray.

My 2 Bytes

Rescue Me is BACK

I remember when I loved TV. I thought there were many great shows as a kid. Needless to say, I was a dumb kid. I look through the channel guide on my PVR/STB and I usually come to the same conclusion. There's a log of crap out there. Recently I went on a rant about the canceling of one of my favorite shows, but now I can hold my head up high at the return on another of my favorite tv shows. RESCUE Me IS back.

It's been a long while since we left Tommy (Denis Leary) on the floor of the bar with a bullet hole in his chest, while all friends were forced by gunpoint to watch him bleed to death. I'm really looking forward to seeing the beginning of the new season.

I'm not going to tell you about the show because you should already be watching it. I own the first four seasons on DVD, and I still need to buy season 5, but I know season 6 is going to be great. I know that once again, there will be stories within stories about Tommy Gavin, his family, and fellow firefighters at house 62.

The one thing that pains me, is that I know that this show will soon end. I've heard that they're timing the final season to end with the 10th anniversary of 9/11. Which sort of makes sense, since 9/11 is always hanging in the background on the show. Tommy, was at 9/11. His cousin, (who he still sees now and then) died in 9/11. Even the beginning of the first episode takes about the firefighters who died in 9/11. It's only fitting that the last episode honors the 10th anniversary of this horrible incident in history.

Again, if you've never seen the show, I highly recommend that you rent the box sets and watch them.

YAAAA Rescue Me is back.

Oh yeah, so is Futurama. but it's not as good as Rescue Me.

My 2 Bytes

They've chained me again

The current job has done something horrible to me. I feel so ashamed, so defeated, so humilated. They issued me a Blackberry. CRAP.

I really don't like the idea of work being able to get a hold of me from ANYWHERE. Well I can see their point of view. I actually work in two buildings, so sometimes I can hard to get in contact with, you I just feel like a collar has been placed around me. Bleech,

I remember when I was proud to have a company phone. I was ticked that it wasn't a Blackberry, but as I grew wiser, I realized what was really going on. It's a way of being in contact all the time. Yuck. Well I got news for you. I'm not answering that phone at 3:00am....unless I'm on call.


Yes, they own me now, but sometimes selling out is a means to getting what you want.

My 2 Bytes.

I officially find the World Cup boring.

I've been hearing about the World Cup from lots of people, but it's not something that I've taken much interest in. The most I have done was send a congratulation to a Portuguese friend about the Portugal/North Korea blowout. Saying that, last night I started to watch the Spain/Honduras game. I was not impressed.

I was trying to get into the spirit, but I really wasn't into it, but I started making my own commentary, since I was getting bored with the English guy calling the game. Well making my own commentary isn't really the best way to describe it. What I started doing was saying over and over again, "Look at me, I kick the ball", in different accents. It didn't matter who had the ball, it was a different accent, from Jamaican, to French, to Russian, to whatever. I can't decide if it was racist, since I didn't focus on one ethnic group, and all I was saying over and over was "Look at me, I kick the ball.

Bottom line, I don't get it. I don't get how this sport is the most popular sport in the world. YAAAWWNN. All people do is run about, kick a ball. Every once in a while, someone will fall, scream and hold their knee for 5 minutes, and that's it. BORING.

I see it as a innocent game. Something that kids will play in a schoolyard. Not something to be watched by millions, on TV around the world. It;s people kicking a ball and running about. The only thing that would interesting would be if the South American announcer would have been calling the game. The guy who says GOOOOOAAAAALLLLL, That guy would be cool, but instead hear some Brit showing us that he has a bigger vocabulary than I do. SCREW THAT. I'm not jealous of him or anything like that, but seriously.

That might be a problem. Some people might be taking this game too seriously. There's this guy in South Africa who was killed by his own family for watching the World Cup, Apparently everyone else in the family wanted to watch some Gospel show, he disagreed so they killed him. While, there was no comment from God, I'm pretty sure he disapproved.

Also, North Korean television aired the game live, only to cut the feed after their team was loosing by 4 goals. They cut the show claiming the game was over and switch to some propaganda about engineers praising their nutball leader. They never got to see the end of the game. They never saw that their team lost 7-0.

I actually find the news stories about the World Cup more interesting than the actual game itself. I really don't care about the players kicking and saying "Look at me. I kick the ball". I'm waiting for a good old fashion soccer riot. That would be more interesting than the game itself.

My 2 bytes

I want more....does that mean I'm being selfish? I just want to talk.

I look at myself in the mirror now, and I see one problem resolved. My skin is clear. I look at my finances, and I see a light at the end of the hole I dug myself into. I look at my goal of getting my MBA in the next 5 years, and I might have another option for paying for it, other than student loan (which I REFUSE to do). I'm going to London next summer. Heck, I could have pulled it off this year except for not having enough holiday time. Now all I need to do is loose weight and learn how to talk.

The weight thing is obvious, but learning to talk? I know how to talk, it's just that I can't talk to people. Not in real life anyway. In real life, I'm really shy. I'm the type of person who can be alone in a crowded room. Ironically, I can talk to a crowd. I have no problems in public speaking but one on one with a stranger or even with a small group of friends...I'll always be the silent one. Sure, I'll try to say one thing or two, but other than that, I'm shutting up.

Is this holding me back? It might be. It's just that when I start talking to a stranger, I always think that they can see inside of me, and see my negative self image. I think they see the failure I perceive myself to be. I know I'm not a failure...compared to a lot of people out there, I've fairly successful, but inside all I see are the things I never did, like loose weight. I believe this is my final hurdle.

In case you didn't guess yet. I'm wining this post. I'm just typing and letting the words appear on the screen. Some people say that this is when I'm at my best. I'm not sure if that's true, but if other people say it, then I guess I believe them.

I have another friend who also has a weight problem, and she also has a self image problem. I told her that she has to love her as is, before making a change. Now if I could only follow my own advice. Maybe I'll have better luck after read those Dale Carnegie book that Olly recommend indirectly.

My 2 Bytes

At the airport again

Once again, I'm blogging at the airport. There's something I like about being able to blog from the Calgary International Airport. Maybe it's the comfy chairs where you can sit down and work from your laptop. Maybe it's the power outlets so you can plug in your laptop and make sure your battery is fully charged before getting on the plane for a long flight. Not all planes have AC outlet to plug in your electronic devices. Actually it's the free wifi which I think is the best. HINT HINT Pearson International Airport.

Well I didn't get this seat right away. I had to wait for some old hag to move her ass off this seat. The perfect laptop blogging seat, but she's gone now. The evil old hag with her feet on the comfy chair, while reading her Good Housekeeping magazine. If she was a good housekeeper she wouldn't have had her shoes on the damn comfy chair.

See how nice this chair is and some hag had to put her damn feet on them. What is she had stepped in dog poop before getting to the airport. How rude of her.

The good news I'm all set to go, and waiting by the gate. The bad news is that after I land I need to go to Walmart to pick up a razor, and other bathroom stuff. I didn't have room to pack any of that stuff because I had to pack 6 Cheese Graters that my mom asked me to buy for her at Ikea. Yes 6 Cheese Graters. She wants to give them as gifts. Honestly, a cheese grater isn't exactly the thing I would want to receive as a gift, but it was an Ikea Cheese Grater, and they are cool.

So this is my last trip home for awhile. I'm not planning on going home again for a long time, because...well I'd rather go to London. Which I will do...next year. I almost have enough to go this year, but I don't have the holiday time now. Hope you appreciate the sacrifice I'm making bro.

To be honest, I'm glad to be there for him. He's my brother after all. I'm even going to be in the wedding party. I've even have a speech ready in case I'm asked to speak.

I'll try to blog from home, but no promises.

My 2 Bytes

On behalf of the male gender, I appolgize

Recently, there was an incident on a Continental flight from Hong Kong to Newark, New Jersey where some sick 63 year old bastard was caught, in a sexual assault against the person sitting next to him on the plane. From what I've read, the woman was asleep and she was awaken by someone from behind her kicking her seat, to be awaken with this asshole with his hand ...I'm not going to say it.

The good news is that the FBI was waiting for Ramesh Advani when he got off the plane, and his entire family got to witness him taken away by the FBI. I normally try to refrain from using names on my blog but, I take great pleasure in exposing that sick old bastard as the pervert he is.


Now I`ve kidded in the past of being a closet pervert, but I have NEVER EVER doing anything like that. The idea of forcing myself onto someone else sickens me. It`s wrong, plain and simple. It`s usually sub intelligent people who have no respect for other people. There`s a place for people like this. It`s called jail. 


I hope this guy makes the mistake of `dropping the soap` so he`s made to feel like the innocent victim he molested. She didn`t deserve to be touched by that sick bastard.


Seriously, what`s wrong with some people. I hope he gets raped in jail to feel the same humiliation that his victim felt.


My 2 Bytes

I don't think even China believes them this time

I'm sure that everyone has heard the news of the week about the South Korean ship that was sink by a torpedo fired by a North Korean submarine by now. If not, then were the hell have you been? I keep reading more and I can't belive that the North Korean government statements about it. How it;s all a lie and any sanction against them would be considered an act of war. Well guess what Kim Jon Ill, firing a topedo and sinking a South Korean navy vessel is consider an act of war you stupid hyprocite. Seriously, their arrogants is beyond me. Even China, who's their only friend is shaking their head over this one.

I believe the problem is that, since they're developed a nuclear weapon, that they have the right to act this recklessly without concequences. That is obviously incorrect, and they need to learn this lesson, and their own arrogance is going to make them learn it the hard way.

Honestly, who would belive these people? Just a few weeks ago, they claimed in their state run newspaper that they have developed Nucelar Fusion? I seriously doubt it. I don't belive a damn thing that their government says. Who would? I don't think even China belives them.

Do these old guys really think that this kind of behavoir will go on forever? The good thing is that I belive that time in on our side, and as these crazy old bastards start to die off, then the next generation will have a clue and stop this insantiy.

It happened in the former Soviert Union. It wasn't until the peoeple in power who lived through the second war died, that we started to see some changes in that country, and then the old guard fell from the inside, not the outside. I predict that this will soon happen with North Korea. China also learned this lesson and now allow captialism in their country. It's still not perfect, but it's a lot better then the past. We're starting to see it happen in Iran as well. Time is indeed on our size.

Until then, smarten up you dumbasses.

My 2 Bytes

YOU CANNOT SNOOP FOR PORN ON MY LAPTOP

I stare at the screen, without an idea of what to talk about. My mind tends to drift back to the word "boobies", but I'm not going to talk about them; at least not today. I'm just glad that people can't search my mind for porn, or else I would be in deep trouble. It's also a good thing that I keep that stuff off my laptop and cellphone, or else someone my see it. Someone like the Customs Officials in Australia. I once considered moving to the "land down under", but the more I learn about the country's laws, the more I want to avoid the place...for long periods of time. For the longest time, I've been reading about the censor laws in Australia but not they think they can snoop through my cell phone and laptop. NO FRIGGING WAY.

I've been hearing about laws like this cropping up for some time now in different countries, including the UK, and other places, and I just laugh at the what they're trying to do. In the days of online storage, why would anyone keep their smut on their laptop while going through any Customs Office? Of course there are the dumb people who will get caught. They aren't as tech savy as I am. (I'm a professional computer geek, of course I'm tech savy), but dumb people deserve to be caught. Especially if it's illegal crap like...that stuff. However, if I want to see some explicit BOMP BOMP CHICA BOMP. That's my business, not some governments.

I know there are countries that ban that stuff for religious reasons, and while I dislike the idea, I do understand their thinking. Australia is just the frigging thought police. They're not censoring the stuff for religious reasons. They're doing it because they're being pompous control freak.

The good news is that one of the local political parties is trying to so something about it, thought I can honestly say that I'm no a member of the "Sex Party". I'm a member of the "I'm Not Getting Any Party".  Seriously, this is another case of government having too much control.

I think being in Canada, I'm a little safer from that due to the proximity to the United States. Many of their ideas regarding free speech and personal rights flow across the border, and to be honest, I don't think it's a bad thing that this kind of influence is coming across the the border. I think it protects us more than other countries, but seriously, this era is Big Brother looking for porn on my laptop and cellphone is just the start to something nastier. First porn, then what;s next? Unpopular ideas? New ways of thinking? No thought police please.

My 2 Bytes

NBC SUCKS

Ok this isn't exactly news. We all knew this even before they screwed Conan O'Brien over with the Tonight Show bullshit, but to cancel Heroes? DAMN YOU NBC YOU SUCK.

It's no secret that most of the executives at NBC are morons. Making stupid decision after stupid decision to the point that there really isn't anything good on anymore. I've looked at their new fall lineup and the only thing I'll be watching is Celebrity Apprentice, and that starts next March. Did I mention that NBC SUCKS.

There were rumors of this happening for weeks now, but to actually here it, and just end it there is pathetic. There was talk of a 2 hour movie finale, but that's not happening. At least when CBS cancelled Jericho, they realized that the fans needed closer and gave us 8 more episodes to end the story. NBC just left us with NOTHING. NBC YOU SUCK.

Honestly, these days I rarely watch any US Network TV because of Bullshit like that. At least with Lost, they got to finish the damn story. Heroes got NOTHING. These days, people want to have some sort of closure when it comes to their TV programs. It's not the age of Leave it to Beaver anymore.

I personally think that cable network executives are a lot smart than people at the broadcast network. Cable networks give us great shows like Rescue Me, Battlestar Galatica, The Sopranos, Blue Blood, Dexter, Caprica (I heard this might be done as well). At least these shows when end, they will give us some closer. Heroes has left us hanging. YOU SUCK NBC.

Why should I even watch US network TV anymore? What the hell is left, another spin-off of Law and Order? Screw that. I'll patiently wait for Celebrity Apprentice and that's it. NO MORE NBC. YOU SUCK NBC.

As you can guess, I'm not taking this well. I own the first three seasons of Heroes and I'll probably end up buying the fourth as well, but I'm not buying the fifth because there will be no fifth season. This is an revenue stream that NBC is too stupid to figure out. At least Fox figured it out with Family Guy.

Bottom line, I'm pissed. NBC YOU SUCK.

My 2 Bytes

Last words about my father

I went away for a bit, but it happens. At least I committed myself to go back. I didn't feel like blogging while I was home, and I took a quick break when I got back. Well not much of a break, but one nonetheless.

I never got the chance to say goodbye to my dad. In fact, I never got the chance to "see" him when I was down. He was cremated before I even landed in Toronto. I never got the chance to say goodbye. The last thing I said to him was "see you in June".

My father didn't always see eye to eye on things. I even remember when we argued about something we both agreed on. That's how we were, but that's my dad. My dad as a strong, smart person, but growing up was a different story. I thought of him as a control freak, I thought he always had to have his way. I know know better. I now know that he wanted to make me a better person. In many ways he succeeded, but there was always a deep seeded resentment I felt for him. A resentment I've only managed to let go after his passing.

I do have some regrets however. We didn't always talk. Whenever I called home, as soon as he answered the phone and after a few "how are things", he would say "I'll get your mother". Toward the end we would chat more. Maybe it was because he knew his time was coming, or maybe it was the encouragement from my mother, but he did open up more. He asked about work and how my career was going. Something this I find important as well. I guess I am my father's son. I do regret not telling him of my plans of going back to University to get my MBA.

A good family friend gave my dads eulogy. I wish I had a copy of it, but I never thought about it until now. He told stories about my dad. Some I knew. One I was a part of, and one I didn't know, but it was all classic "my dad". It was a hard service for me. It was the only time I actually "say him", and even then I never said goodbye. I couldn't bring myself to doing it. He's not gone. He's just someone better.

Reno Restoule

(1943-2010)

My 2 bytes

No Friggin respect.

Someone posted a spam comment on the blog post talking about my dad dying. Some people have no shame. It's seriously disgusting.

My 2 bytes

I have to go home.

My father passed away earlier this week. I feel horrible. I've been able to keep it out of my mind most of the time, but today I have to face reality head on. I'm not looking forward to it.

After my last blog post, I took a look at how many airmiles I had saved and it turns out that I had enough for one more flight, so I booked it. I could only get a flight to Toronto. My sister-in-law has to pick me up at the airport before we endure a 4 hour drive with my nephews.

The whole idea of being an uncle has always seemed foreign to me. I guess that's the advantage of living thousands of kilometers away from family. Isolating myself over the going ons of family. Over the years I've heard about things going on back home. People getting married, people splitting up, people having kids, and people dying. I've always been able to take that information and file it under whatever, but not this time. This time reality is bitch slapping me in the face. I'm not sure how I'm going to hold out.

If you're wondering why I'm not writing about my dad, it's quite simple. I'm in a public place and I don't want to break down and start sobbing in an airport terminal. Whenever I think about him, after a few minutes later the reality sinks in

GAWD DAMMIT ENOUGH OF THE DAMN PAGES AT THE AIRPORT THEY WON'T STOP AND ITS TOO LOUD.

I'm having a hard enough time writing this without hearing the 15th page for passenger Davis that he need to board his plane to Vancouver.

I'm not looking forward to facing the reality about this. I want to honor him in my blog, but I can't do it. Not now, not here in the terminal of an airport. I don't want strangers see me cry, though I doubt that would happen with the constant pages.

One thing I can say is, while I didn't agree with everything he said, and I do/did...have some dad issues, I still loved him, and he will be missed. I will miss him. I love you dad.

My 2 bytes

I don't know.

I'm conflicted right now. I got some really bad news last night. It appears that my father's time in this world is coming to an end. They're measuring his time in weeks, and they're using prime numbers.

I have to get home, but my brief stint at unemployment has decimated my savings. I can't afford to fly home. I'm worried that if I take time off I won't have enough money to pay my rent. My sister is offering to cover my flight, but still...I'm ashamed of myself.

I should be with my family right now, but instead I'm thousands of kilometers away feeling ashamed of myself. I'm not where I should be. I think that it' time to reconsider moving back east to be closer to my family. Then I'll be closer to my family. Then again, I can't afford to move anywhere right now. Everything costs money and I don't have any of it. I just started putting money away again, and it's not going to cover a flight back east. I've only been working for a month. The good news is that there will still be a job waiting for me when I get back. The boss assured me of that when I spoke to her about it. She was very supportive.

Right now I'm still in denial over the whole thing, but then again, I've been in denial about the whole cancer thing. I never mentioned it because I was so far away, I could forget it. I can't do that anymore. I've been ignoring a few things lately, hoping they go away, but they never do.

...

I don't know anymore.

My 2 Bytes

Yes, I'm being vague, and all over the place.

Well....I got nothing...that I can talk about right now. Certain people might be reading my stuff, and I don't want to take any chances.

I realize that it's going to take awhile to bring everyone back, and certain other people who were my regulars also seemed to have blog faded.

I had some personal crap last Thursday, and Friday, which is why I didn't blog, but I'm here again.

Something is suppose to happen today, but I now have the feeling that it's not going to happen, and I've yet to receive ANY feedback from this person. Well because of this, I'm continuing to loose faith in that person, and it's making a possible choice even easier.

I need to wear the smaller sized pants that I own. I put on the ones that are a size higher, and they make my ass look huge. I know I have a fat guy ass, but there are things I can do to minimize the "IT'S COMING RIGHT AT US, RUN" effect it can have with people, and wearing the larger sized pants is a no no.

I've changed the title of this blog post 4 times so far. I can't make up my mind what ti call this drivel. It's definitely a yadda yadda, but I'm not going to call it that.

With all the talk of 3DTV, when will 3D porn be appearing. I'm not sure I like the idea of having to duck at the end of the movie.

If some things work out the way I'd like them too, I might still be able to go to London this year, but things, don't work out perfectly with me often.

I predict that I'll be buying a Star Wars Bluray box set when it comes out in late 2011. I've bought these movies 3 times so far. I'm really stupid. Then again, I've bought Lord of the Rings, twice, and the Star Trek movies twice as well. I can see myself buying the Star Trek movies a third time.

I still need to win the lottery, so life can be my bitch for a change.

My 2 bytes.

I'm going somehwere tonight.

Last night I learned about a information seminar to be held today for getting my MBA at the local university. I know I can do the classes at night, and I don't plan on going for a few years. I refuse to do the student loan thing again, so I won't be starting this process for a at least 2-3 years, but I will do it, because when I set my mind to something I do it. It just takes time. Even the book is taking longer than expected, but I am working on it.

I'm working in a place where you see a lot of smart people and people in big offices, and right now I work in a dark hole where there's no sunlight. Then again, IT people aren't suppose to like sunlight.

Bottom line, I'm going as far as I would like to, in this position. I want more in life. Is that wrong?

So tonight I'm going to spend 2 hours in some meeting room at the Chamber of Commerce meeting some people, and listening to some crap about whatever. I'm not sure if I'll enjoy it, but it's definitely stuff I need to know.

Other than that....I got nothing.

My 2 Bytes.

A problem with my eyes

I have this problem with my eyes. I've had it since I was 13, and while I've been battling with this problem all my adult life. I can't seem to overcome this problem. My eyes always stare at cleavage, and I can't stop them from doing it.

I can be walking down the street, minding my own business, then suddenly I see cleavage, I can't see anything else. I just can't stop looking at it. I could end up walking into traffic, and get hit by a car. This is a real problem. I could be trying to have a conversation with someone and then suddenly...I'm staring at cleavage. I can't stop my eyes from doing this.

I'm trying not to be disrespectful, honestly...it's just my eyes seem to have a mind of their own when it comes to this problem. They just look to stare at cleavage. Now for some reason, my eyes don't have any interest in bare breasts, (that's my brain). So I'm not sure what to do. I've been wearing sunglasses a lot in the summer so women can't see me staring at their cleavage, but still this is something I need to learn how to control.

Maybe if women just went out topless, then my eyes wouldn't get so excited over the cleavage anyone. There are places where this is allowed, and perhaps I need to move there. If there are exposed breasts everywhere, my eyes won't be locked on their cleavage anymore.

Now I need to test that theory. Maybe the local strip bar will help me with that?

My 2 Bytes.

The opportunites keep moving farther and farther, but not too far

I got another call today for a possible job. It's further towards the end of the city then where I am now, and I'd have to take a bus. YUCK. Then again... it's not a contract job. It's a real job and I would be secure.

I think this good be a good opportunity, and I perhaps this could be the one job that I get...other than the contract job which has no security, or benefits. Which is why I'm still looking elsewhere for work.

I looked at the job description again, and I didn't think that I would get a call back. I'm missing a small part of the requirements, but maybe I can get trained on the job. I have played with SQL in the past.

I'm not going to mention who the job is with...just that I hope this is the permanent job that comes through for me. I hate this contract thing...which wouldn't be so bad except I'm only guaranteed a job till the end of April. There's an option for more work...but it's just an option. I don't like staking my future on an "option".

I'd would like it if I got hired here, but at this point, I don't have a confirmation, so until then I'll keep looking for other jobs.

My 2 Bytes

I think I broke last years record

Ok 2009 was a miserable year for my blog. I completed a total of 21 blog posts for the ENTIRE FRIGGIN YEAR. I think it was because I was happy. I was working at a great place and didn't have anything to bitch or complain about. So after the great career crash of 2010, I started to blog again.

Right now, I'm doing contract work, and I'm hoping that it will last longer than expected. I'm doing pretty well, and I'm continuing to learn new skills, to add to my resume, and I figure this will add to my eventual goals of....lots of moneyhood. I'm still working on it.

I'm trying not to be miserable, but at the same time, I tend to worry about the future. The good news everyone seems to like me, and I have stepped up, and it looks like that I'll be here past the original end of contract date, which is good. I just wish I had some sense of security.

I've noticed that this place has gotten more seriously lately. I think I've lost my way again. I need to go back to denying my boob fetish, and stuff like that. That's what made Tales from the Great White North such a good read to the one or two people who read this crap.

Oh and one thing I need to get off my chest. THE CALGARY FLAMES NOT MAKING THE PLAYOFFS!!! WHAT A FRIGGING SURPRISE YOU DAMN SLACKERS. I blame the team, not the coach.

Ok I feel better now.

I do have a shameful confession to make. I'm following Kristie Alley on twitter. What happened to her? I used to think she was so hot, now she's just nasty. I don't mean her weight, I mean her attitude. Seriously...what the hell. Then again, if I was her, I'd be pissed off at the constant comments on her weight. That stuff can really hurt. Now that I think about it, I bet it was all those comments which have made her so harsh. Well maybe. I do remember that she's also a chain smoker.

I think this is turning into a yadda yadda, but it's also blog post #22 for 2010, so I have broken my old record.

I'm glad that I made that post yesterday as well. I now have a public record of my goals, and I will accomplish them.

Ok so here's another goal. Once I blog for 10 straight days (not including weekends), I'll bring back the photo friday, and if I manage to continue for 20 straight days, then I'll bring back the Clip of the week.

I'm building a regular sequence now, of blogging during my lunch time at work, so the time is there. I just hope that they keep me around in order to keep going on the job.

My 2 Bytes

Let's try this again

Ok, before I was rudely interrupted yesterday by the camera in the HELLO talk I was going to talk about the path I want my career to take and how I'm going to do it.

First of all, I need my student loan debt paid off, so I have to work on that first. The good news is that I should be able to have that paid off my late summer 2011, unless I loose my job again. I'm working contract right now, with the possibility that I could be brought on full time. Obviously I want full time, but for now I'm gonna take it one day at a time.

So after the debt is paid off, I'm going to have a fair bit of money to work with, so the first thing I'm gonna do is get my ITIL certification. Now that is some BS thing where I know about IT processes, and management stuff. In my opinion, I think it a little blaaa, but it could be work extra money a year, and it's not too expensive a certification, as oppose to what I'm going to do next.

So after that I'm going to get my MCSE Certification. This is a Microsoft deal for knowing about servers and the like. Again, I think it will help my career in the future. The bad news is that it's going to cost a little more, so I'll probably wait a year after I get the ITIL to get that certification.

After that, I want to get my CCNA certification. This is a network thing, with connecting to networks. It's something I also want. Again, this is going to be fairly expensive, so I'll have to wait another year to get that.

Lastly, after getting all those certifications, I should be making more money, so then I'm going back to University, to get my MBA. I want to get it, so I can get into managing IT projects. Between that and my IT certifications, I think I'll finally get the career I really want.

So that's the plan. I'll try to lighten things up tomorrow, but I wanted to tell everyone what my path was, just to show that I indeed have direction in life.

My 2 Bytes

What the hell?

Ok I have direction again, which is good because too many people in life ...

I'm sorry, but I'm distracted by the people sitting next to me. One guy is talking about his colonoscopy. I'm sorry but dammit, this is not a subject for the cafeteria for work. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

He's talking about being drugged up when they stuck the camera up his HELLO. I know it's a medical procedure but seriously...COME ON.

I was looking forward to blogging about the current state of my career and the future path which I've decided to follow and then, I'm hearing about some guy talking about when they stuck a camera up his ass. Is that bad manors or is it just me? I'm glad I already had my lunch by this time. It's not like I'm talking about my bowel movements. Sheesh.

I'll try to do the path to the future tomorrow.

My 2 Bytes

I did it again, but I'm back. I swear

Ok I went away, but I have an excuse. I was busy working. I managed to get a contract position, for a couple of months. It's not the greatest job but it does pay well. I'm actually making more than I was at the previous job. The bad news is NO FRIGGING benefits, so I have to apply for Blue Cross for drug coverage, but enough about that. To be honest, it's the environment I don't like, too big and too stuffy. I'm only allowed to do certain things, and if what is needed to be done not in the in my list of responsibility, I can't do it. Even if I know how to fix it. Grrrrr.

I had an interview today for the job that I DO WANT, and I'm one of three people who made the short list. Two of the interviewers flew in from Ottawa, and I was able to make a good connection with them, since my resume included a job I had in Arnprior, which is roughly 20 minutes from Ottawa, so BAM there.

I am one of three final candidates for this job, and they did say some nice things about me. I think the interview went very well, but a little prayer to get this job wouldn't hurt. (OK this isn't become a religious blog but sometimes you need to pray for some help from up high, and not a word from any Atheists, GOT IT). So here's my prayer.

Lord, I know I keep asking for the winning lottery ticket, but you never come through for me on that. I accept that since everyone also prays for the winning lottery that you can't please everyone, but I'm one of three people applying for this job, and if they're also praying to get this job...screw em. It's my turn to shine. Things have been really sucky lately, with all my saving going down to nothing. The last of it will be going to my rent this month because I won't get my first pay from my new job until April 15th.

Lord, I've been good over the years, being kind to others. Heck I've even given money to the homeless recently. I've donated a portion of my paycheques from both jobs to needy causes. I treat everyone with respect. Isn't it time that I get a break?

If this is about the looking at porn and touching myself thing...let me know and I'll work on that. You know, if you were to hook me up with a hot woman, that would stop all together.

So Lord, please give me this job, so I can get my life back on track, so I can fly to London next year and visit Vics. So I can continue my quest to see the world. So I can say I did something with my life. Also, I think you should do it as an apology for sending Ann Coulter to Calgary tomorrow.

Well, hopefully God will reply in a positive manor toward my prayers, and then I can start the job I want very soon. Oh, I walked home from the interview. WALKED!!! It's close enough that I can walk to and from work. Actually I only had to be outside for a minute when I exited a building and closed the street to my apartment. Other than that, I walked through those +15 walkways, so I can walk to and from work in climate controlled comfort. Oh and a weekly toastmasters meeting in the building next door.

I NEED THIS JOB.

My 2 bytes.

It's getting there...I think

Well I attend my first Toastmasters meeting and of course, it wasn't a normally meeting. All I did was listen to other people speak. Not exactly exciting but I'm told that normal meeting will start again in 2 weeks. Hopefully that will help.

I had a good interview yesterday, so good that I think I have a real shot at the job. I don't want to say anything else about it, for fear that someone at the company will have Google alert for their name, but I really want to work there.

The other good news is that I have two more interviews. One on Monday and the other on Tuesday. I'm really hoping that this comes through for me. I really can't take much more of this. I feel worthless being unemployed. I'm disappointed that I can't go out and do stuff. REAL STUFF. I'm still going to London next year...hell or high water.

I'm glad that February is over because February 2010 was the month from hell. I still don't know how I'm going to pay my taxes this year. I always end up paying and a lot of that money went to things like rent. I just need to hold on and keep pushing forward.

I never mentioned this before, but I figure I might as well. I also discovered that I have Type 2 Diabetes. I'm a big guy, and I haven't been motivated to loose weight with the exception of the occasional meltdown to clothes, but now I have a real reason, not just vanity. I've managed to get my blood sugar down, but I'm really getting sick of having to use that stupid meter twice a day. I know that it never goes away, but if I can get to my ideal weight, then it will be one thing less to worry about.

I really don't have anything else to say right now. I'm still finding it hard to blog in general. I have stuff inside of me waiting to come out, like the new Jerry Springer Marriage Ref show, but it's like the words won't come out of my brain. I just hope that I can change that. Maybe the Toastmasters will help.

My 2 Bytes.

Need to stay focused.

Well I didn't blog as much and I would have liked in February, but I did better than any month of 2009, so I am still on my way back to being a regular blogger. I think the key is to not give up on my goals, and not have another panic attack.

I've been having a lot of them lately. I still haven't heard back from Employment Canada about my benefits, and it's the not knowing that's driving me crazy. I feel like I'm barely holding on by my fingertips and that I'm about to fall into the abyss. There are some nights where I wish that I just won't wake up the next morning. I know I need to push on, but it's still so hard.

(UPDATE: I just checked the EI website and I'm getting benefits, so I feel a lot better).

I think the weekend are worse for me because I feel more powerless. I know I'm not going to hear from a potential job opportunity.

I'm kind of a loner, with not many friends in the city. The people I feel close to are either back east or in the United States. I guess that's why I feel more comfortable blogging about my woes to my online friends, instead of talking to people in front of me.

I think that's why I do better on the phone than in person. On the phone, I can be myself, but in person, I come off as nervous. So I've decided to take control of my life again. First thing is that I'm going to take Olly's advice on making a daily to-do list. Between that advice and the book recommendation, she really has been there for me, and I really owe her a thank you. Of course I also appreciate all the words of support from Letti and Erin, as well.

One thing I'm going to do, starting tomorrow is attend a weekly Toastmaster meeting. I picked which one I'd going to attend, and I'm going to do it. I also need to look into taking a few courses to get my certification on some techie things which I won't go into because I don't want your eyes to roll to the back of your heads and then drool to start to run down your face as I try to explain the techno-babble, which you really don't care about.

The key thing is that I'm once again taking control of my life, and I'm not going to spend it in the fetal position. Now that I've checked off another item on the daily to do list, time to work on the book.

My 2 Bytes

I wasted a week of my life.

Seriously. All I did was play Star Trek Online and meet with some job recruiters. Well, the job thing is good, but staying home all week playing videogames? Even I now concede that was all Bullshit.

I talk about doing things like writing a book, which I have started, then I get the idea for the second book which will be fiction, but can I actually get off my ass and do something? No. Instead I spend my week playing a videogame. I know better than this.

I've meet many people who complain about their lives and do nothing about it, and I'm scared that I might become one of them. Heck I haven't blogged in a week.

One of the things that I've been debating is if I should get a bus pass for the month of March. Is this something that I really need? Well after some thought, I decided yes even though it's more money that I'll have to pull from my savings. Sure I live downtown, and everything I need access too is in walking distance, but still, I need to feel like I have the freedom to go anywhere I want to in the city. I did the math, and it would be cheaper, but it's more than money, it's my freedom.

I also think my insecurities are also playing a major role in what is basically my fear of the outside world. i think it shows as well. I appear nervous in front of others in interviews and it's showing. It's being commented on by the headhunters, and I need to do something about it. I was reading one of Vics tweets, and she mentioned Toastmasters International. I've heard of this group before and considered becoming a member, or even attending a meeting. I did a web search and picked where I was going to go and meeting. I'm all set but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm getting scared. Me in a room filled with new people? What the hell am I thinking?

What I'm thinking is that I need to do this. I need to gain some self confidence, because right now I have NONE. ZERO. NADA, and how do I expect someone to hire me and have confidence in me when I don't even have it in myself?

The book has suffered as well. I haven't written a thing in the past week, and that isn't good either. I'm not thinking that my book is going to be part of the Oprah book club, but I need to do something. I don't want a repeat of last week. Sure I managed to get my first toon to the rank of Rear Admiral on Star Trek Online, but an employer doesn't give a crap about that. So tomorrow, I need to do a lot of follow-up calls on potential job opportunities. I need to get up early and do something. I need to regain control of my life.

I need to get off my ass and do something.

My 2 Bytes.

It's all about the Yadda Yadda,

I'm doing better, but not great. Then again, for me great would be wining the lottery and spending the rest of my life in the lap of luxury, for the rest of my life, I'm ok for now. Just ok.

I picked up a book at the library today, something recommended by a online friend. I hope she doesn't mind me calling her a friend. I started to read "How to stop Worrying and Start Living", as recommended by Olly. I haven't gotten to far into the book yet, but I'm hoping it will help. I've also added another one of the authors book on my library hold list.

I still haven't told my mom and dad about not loosing my job, and I'm still hoping that I won't have too, until I get a new job, so they won't worry. To be honest, considering how well I'm doing so far in the job search, I don't think that it will be much longer before I find something. My skills and experience are in demand after all.

I do have a problem with the blog though. I now find myself thinking that my blog ideas should go into the book instead. I'm going to have to find that balance soon between what goes into the book and what goes into the blog. Is there a reason why it can't go into both? I need some feedback on this.

There is one thing that is pissing me off however. Once again, I'm missing an Olympic Games in Canada. This time because I can't afford to go. The last time was my parents fault. They've never been into big cities and they tend to shun them, while I'm the exact opposite. I love walking downtown in the valleys between the glass towers of a major city. I remember just before the Calgary Olympics, my family moved east to Ontario. I DID NOT take it well, and to this day, I feel that this move did sabotage my life in some way.

I've always found small towns to be ...small minded and suffocating. There isn't anything to do. There's nowhere to go other than a local bar (BORING). If you want to see a hockey game, all you have is a local minor team, and some don't even have that. I live within walking distance of the Saddledome, where NHL hockey is played. This city once hosted the world for the world as Vancouver is doing now.

I really shouldn't be blaming my dad for being trapped in a small no future town, but it was his fault. I tried to get any old job just to earn enough money to move out of there, and start a new life but I couldn't even do that. I guess my dad and I just see the world differently. Thank God for that, because I do not want to be my father.

I'm still looking for focus in life right now, and it's just isn't happening. My spirit is all over the place, unable to focus on one thing for long. At least I'm not freaking out anymore. I still have 2 weeks before I have to start doing that, and by that time, I won't have to.

My 2 bytes

I'm just taking it one step at a time or yadda yadda.

I swear the days are dragging. I keep thinking that it can't be Wednesday, it should be Thursday, or Friday, but no. It's only Wednesday.

I've only applied for 1 job this week, but on the bright side, I'm on the short list for two other jobs. I like being on the short list, but I'd rather be the one hired, but if I'm making it this far, then I must be doing something right.

So far, all I've done is thought about the book. I was suppose to actually write something this week, but I'll do that tomorrow. I'm still going into this blindly, and I'm probably going to go the self publishing route, but I do have a plan to promote it. What my plan is, I'm not telling. I don't want to give away my idea yet.

I'm trying to stop myself from falling back into old habits, but it can be hard sometimes. My apartment is starting to look sloppy again, so after I'm done writing here, I'm going to clean up again. The good news is that it's not so bad.

I keep thinking about life, and how...mundane it seems to be. Work, go home, rest, repeat. I this really what live is all about? Recently I confessed that I'm doing the IT thing because I want to be able to have skills that are in demand. I don't find it rewarding at all. I do find helping people rewarding, but that's about it. I don't find anything else really exciting about my life, my career, or lack of career. I think the book is me raging against the dying of my light.I used to feel that way a lot when I was working at K&F. That place tried to turn me into a drone.

I think the biggest blow was the postponing of the trip to London. I wanted to go so badly. I was even planing to do a stopover in Iceland, but now...that money is paying next month's rent. I need to start over again. I honestly think that this was worse than the job loss, but like I said, it's a postponement, not a cancellation. I will go to London in 2011 instead, after I meet my friends in San Diego that year as well. I refuse to give up. I won't allow myself to do that.

I seem to have no focus lately, but at least I'm blogging. I only blogged 21 times in 2009, and I'm already two thirds of the way to that and it's still February, so I am back.

Right now, I'm pouring my heart and soul into the screen, and I find myself wondering if anyone cares? Is anyone left who visits to care? Again I blame a dismal 2009 blogging year for that, but again that thought won't leave me. Am I alone?

I think what would cure all my woes is for me to win the frigging lottery. If that happened...say this weekend, then I'll be a lot more secure and I'll start looking at other things, other than day to day life. The ability to be free and go to London and visit Vics. To buy a vehicle and a video camera and vlog my journeys across Canada, from Vancouver to St John's Newfoundland.

The key is that I can't give up. I've seen people give up, and they spend their time in a job that they hate for the rest of their lives. I won't let that happen to me.

My 2 Bytes.

I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm gonna do it anyway.

I keep thinking about the book idea, which just came to me when I was blogging a few days ago and I still like the idea. I have no idea how to proceed yet, but I am doing to do it, and I'm going to start right now. Here is the Preface of my book.

...

PREFACE.

I have always wanted to be the person who took "the road less traveled", but unfortunately, that hasn't always worked out for me. I started out wanting to get into television news gathering. I wanted to be a news camera covering event around the world , but that never happened. I also wanted to be a stand up comic. Getting on stage and making people laugh, and get paid for it, but that never happened either. The problem was I listened to people. I listened to people who told me that I couldn't be a comic, or told me which school I should go, and ...I became neither.

I eventually sold out, like most other people I know and ended up at DeVry to earn a degree in computer something or other. Again, things didn't start well after the degree, but I did stick with it and ended up landing a good job. That was then.

Now I'm unemployed, and I'm once again considering my possibilities. While the idea of being unemployed for a long term is unlikely, since I now have skills in demand, but do I want to spend the rest of my life dealing with computer crap, or do I once again want to take the "road less traveled".

I got the idea for this book while writing a blog post in the food court of a mall of all places, but if you really think about it, doesn't it really make sense? The center of our society are now packed into balls after all, from Game Stop to Victoria's Secrets; it's all there. It's the center of our world today.

...

Ok that's just the first draft and I'm sure that it's going to change a lot over the coming months, and write the yet to be titled book. I do have a working title though, it's "What the hell is wrong with you people". I told myself that I'm going to write at least an hour a day, until it's done. I'm still not sure what everything that's going to be in the book, but I sort of know where to start.

I'm gonna do this, and I'm not going to make any excuses for not finishing what I started, and I did start. I wrote the preface after all.

My 2 Bytes

Yadda Yadda from the library.

Well, the good news. I had a second interview today, and I think it went well. I'll know more next week. The bad news is that I didn't get the first job. It turns out it was filled internally so even the head hunter looses out on it, but he told me to call him back in two weeks.

I can't believe that it's been two weeks since I've become unemployed. I really don't like it. It sucks not knowing if you can afford to pay your rent in the near future. I can afford to pay it in March however. I'm trying not to get depressed about it again. After all, I do have a second possible job.

I've decided that I like the people at the library less than the people at the mall. I don't know what it is, but there's just something different here. I'm sorry but the people here are uglier.

I picked up my first book about writing, well professional writing. It's just something that I think I can do. At the very least, I'll be able to say that I wrote something other than a blog. I think I'm going to take some time making sure I know what I'm going to write about. I'm thinking it will be a commentary like Denis Leary's book, or Craig Ferguson's book. If they can do this so can I.

I think the hard part initially will be to get my butt started, but I'm sure I can do it. I know I can. I need to be the person who does the other thing, I want my friends to know me as the author. Sure lots of people write books, and even if it doesn't sell well initally I have a plan for that too.

I'm also thinking about writing some fiction as well, but not till the first book is done. I need to learn how to flesh out plots and stuff like that. Unless I end up writing porn, then it's a lot of OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD !!!!

I think eventually I want to write science fiction or fantasy, but for now I'm gonna try the commentary thing first.

Right now across the lobby there's a tv showing some stuff about the Olympics, and I really couldn't give a crap. I remember once being excited about stuff like that but lately, I've become so jaded. It's almost like I've become like the person who I work across from.

My dad is like that. We would never go to cool stuff like that because of whatever reason he would make up. I hope I'm not turning into that. That's one of the reasons why I'm writing the book is because my dad never wrote a book. My dad never went to London, and I will go next year I swear it.

Oh, I still don't give a crap about the Olympics.

I think the library is closing soon, so I'm going to head out.

My 2 bytes.

I'm out and about....ok it's yadda yadda,

I'm mall blogging today, just because I couldn't take my apartment. It's not the apartment itself, but the lack of people in the place that was driving me crazy. So right now I'm at the food court of South Center Mall, using their free Wi-Fi to blog (since I'm using their free Wi Fi, the least I can do is post a link). However, while I'm with people, I'm still alone. I don't know any of these people. I'm not having a conversation with anyone, but at least there are people around.

I also went to the doctor to see if my medication was in, nope. She said I should have called, but I just wanted to talk to someone who knew my name.

Actually I need to go to Cheers, where they would yell my name as I entered the establishment. What I want to know is how could Norm frequent that bar so many times and not be a frigging alcoholic. Anyways....

I'm not sure which malls have free Wi-Fi in town but it's easy to check. I know that the airport does, so maybe I'll try to blog there again.

I've been thinking about my options again. It turns out that once the Unemployment Benefits start, I can look into taking some courses to upgrade my skills. Stuff that I want to do, but I either don't have the time, or the money...or surprise...BOTH.

I'm trying to be positive about this, I really am, but let's face it. Life is hard sometimes. I think I know who to blame, the Night. It seems to me that my mood goes bad after the sun goes down, which is fairly early in these parts. Last night, when I went to bed, I even wished that I wouldn't wake up again. Alright, I'm not suicidal; well not really, but the word has passed from my lips for quite awhile, but enough about that. That all comes back to my self worth being related to my bank account, and I know it.

I've been toying with other ideas as well. Maybe I can write a book? Why not? Heck, I can even write it as a blog, write a page a day, and post it on a blog, which I'll post and who knows...maybe it will get published or something. Maybe a comical book. After all I'm a smart guy then I'll publish it with lulu.com and sell it on Amazon. Who knows what will happen. At the least, I can add author to my resume. Who knows, maybe I could make a career of it and become a professional writer, and buy a home in the country like Stephen King or something. Then I'll be able to take that shameful donate button off the blog.

It's something to do with my time, I'm only spend an hour or two job searching a day. I like this idea. I just need to figure out what my premise is.

My 2 bytes

I have no shame.

I've been pretty good this week, until I made the mistake of calling the Employment Canada people to check the status of my claim. Turns out that they have up to 28 days to process my claim. I panicked again.

I'm better now, but not knowing is going to drive me up crazy with panic. I just hate not knowing what's going to happen. It's like I can't see 3 feet in front of me and I'm running. Is there something that I'm going to trip on, or am I going to run into a wall? What will my future hold?

Right now, I see several ways that this can turn out. The first is that I get a new job soon, as in the next month or so. I even had an interview today, and should hear about the second interview by Friday, so I'm hopeful. The second, is I get my EI benefits, and get a subsidy for my rent (rent is the highest in Canada), and I'll be ok for the year, while I look for work and see if I can take a few courses to upgrade my resume. The third is I don't get EI, and forced to apply for welfare, and get a bigger rent subsidy. Lastly, I fail to get everything and end up homeless on the street, until June when I would fly home on the plane ticket I already bought and paid for, and start all over again. Needless to say, the last option scares the hell out of me. It also wants me to say...FUCK YOU PARIS HILTON. Having everything handed to you. I'm reasonably confident that the last option will not happen, but I still can't stop thinking about it. I know the key is to not think about it, and blogging about it doesn't help.

Then I remembered a fad back when times were better, cyber begging. People would ask for donations because they were out of work, they needed help paying off their credit cards, whatever. I'm not sure if this went away or not, but I'm gonna bring it back.

There's my donate button. I'm shamelessly begging for money...from Paris Hilton. C'mon Paris. Give me some MONEY.

I don't know if it's a good idea or not, but it's better than living on the street.

To be honest, I'm far from that point, and I honestly don't think that it's gonna happen, but still. It's on the back of my mind. At least I know I can cover next month's rent. Not everyone on the streets tonight can even cover this night's rent.

I've seen many of them in the library recently, and they don't appear to be dumb people. They're there to read as well as pass the time, and they're reading real books, so they're not dumb. I'm noticing them more now because of my current situation.

I'm really hoping the job comes through, and I'll be work by next week. Then I won't have to delay my trip to London by much. Maybe push it to September. Then again I could go next week if Paris Hilton would CLICK MY DONATE BUTTON. That sounds kinda dirty actually.

My 2 bytes

I'm feeling much better now.

Well, I managed to get through last night's and this morning mental breakdown without hurting myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not out of the woods yet, but at least, I'm not as screwed as I thought I was. Don't get me wrong, I'm still screwed, but I'm not homeless.

I want to thank Cat for helping me get through the worst of it. She's the one who help me get through the worst of it. She was there for me, and I heart her very much. It's nice to know that there are people out there like her. Also, thanks for the support Letti. It's nice to know that people do care.

One thing did seriously piss me off though. I've since removed the comment, but someone thought that a good way to comment about me freaking out on my blog was to put some Chinese spam in my comments. This has happened to me before, but for it to happen in that post? HAVE SOME FRIGGIN CLASS.

To be fair, I'm sure that the person who posted it, didn't speak English, but geeze.

I got...nothing else. I guess I'm still a little freaked out.

My 2 bytes

I feel alone...

It's been 2 days since I lost my job, and to be honest I'm scared that I might end up on the street.

I applied for Unemployment, but the big concern is my debt. Specifically one of my student loans. I pay $575 a month on this loan and there's no way in hell that I can pay that without a job. Also, to make matters worse, I was sued for that amount. I've been making the payments, but what now? Are they going to be jerks about it? What are the rules that they have to follow? Will they show some compassion, and say screw you and enforce a judgement to have 30% of my unemployment stripped from my unemployment benefits? I'm scared.

I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to afford my rent and end up on the street. I'm scared that I'm going to be homeless. I'll have nowhere to go.

I'll be honest, I don't really have friends...here in the city. I have "work friends", but not someone who'll let me stay with them. I don't have any buddies in the city. At least I have the second job, and I do have money put away, but my plan to go to London is shot. When I spoke to the people from Unemployment, they seemed to act like there wouldn't be a problem for me to be getting my benefits. I'm just scared of the government and the $575 a month payment. How am I going to cover that? Am I going to have to go out and start collecting bottles from dumpsters like some homeless person?

Again, it all comes down to being alone. I called my mom and dad on Tuesday, but I didn't tell them about the loss of my job. I didn't want them to worry. I don't want them trying to help me. They're retired now and they have to take care of themselves. They can't take care of me.

I would feel better if...I could move in with a buddy for awhile and become a roommate or something, but I don't know know anyone that well, and the idea of moving in with a stranger...does not make me feel comfortable.

Right now, I feel like I need a hug, I need to talk with someone, but I don't have anyone that I know that well.

Last night I went out with some friends from the former work place, and we chatted, talked and they said some real nice things to me, I thought I was going to cry when I thanked everyone for the kind words. Everyone at the company was great except the the person I had to work with directly. The comment that was made most last night was why does the guy who put the hole in the wall gets to keep his job, but the nice guy everyone likes looses his? That's the one good thing about all this. I don't have to see him anymore.

It really was a great place to work. It was the direct opposite of Kohl and Frisch, the place I worked at before. At K&F, I dreaded going into work, but at the last place, I loved it. Oh for the record, I'm not going to mention the place I used to work out of respect for the company, which I still have, and the fact that the person I used to work with has a Google alert on the company name so he's see my post. To tell you how cool the last place I worked is, the VP of HR told me to call her anytime, if I need to talk and has also said that she would be a reference for me. She, and the other HR person have both gone out of their way to help me, even after I left. I even have both their cell numbers, if I need to call. I could call them, but...I can't. I just feel like I need to keep it professional. I've even considered seeing a psychologist. I know someone who's knows a thing or two about that. I'll ask her.

My 2 Bytes.

I'm not hungry, I'm not tired. I don't know what I feel.

It's not a good day. I lost my job. Well, technically I didn't loose it, but if I were to go there now, someone else will be sitting at my desk. I know I should be feeling something, but I don't. I just feel nothing. I should be panicking over the loss of my job, but I'm not. Actually I feel sad, but not for the reason you might think.

Everyone has worked in places that they've hated. I've been there as well. The thing is that this wasn't one of those places. I loved going there, and there were good people there too. It wasn't perfect, but damn close. I'm really going to miss everyone.

The thing that does suck is that odds are my August plan to go to London are on hold. I'm not sure if I can go at this point. I'm keeping all trip money for living expenses, at least until I know what's going on with my life. When the Unemployment starts coming in and things like that, or better yet. Getting a new job.

I've been getting a lot of well wishers from work too, mostly from Facebook. Apparently a lot of people were sadden by my departure, though I'm more sadden. They still have jobs. Well, I do still have the second job on the weekends. I could ask for more hours, but I'm not ready to do that just yet. Working in a Supermarket isn't the greatest thing in the world.

I've been updating my resume tonight, and the good news is that I seem to have more skills, to offer than the last time I was job hunting, so hopefully, I'll be able to snag something that much quicker.

I really don't have much else to say...excpet that, if somone has a good paying job for me, please let me know.

My 2 Bytes

Friday.....Yadda Yadda.

When I blogged regularly, I used to do something called the photo Friday. Instead of posting some comment, I would post a funny picture. While I have been good this week and managed to post every day, I'm not ready for the Photo Friday to return. First of all. I need a new collection of funny pictures to find. I do plan on getting Photo Friday back up, soon. I feel like I've done well this week, but it's just a start. It's like I'm starting all over again. I need to get my audience back, and hopefully get some new readers as well.

I know a lot of people have blogged faded recently and are trying to make a comeback. Some better than others I believe. I honeslting think that blogs have lost some popularity because of the growing popularity of podcasts and vlogs, but I think blogs are going to make a comeback in 2010.

I've messed with the podcast idea more than once. I've even had one for awhile, but it ended because...well I didn't have much to talk about, and other than a pissed off rant, I'm not that interesting a person.

I know I'm a smart ass and I can make people laugh. I'm actually pretty good at it, and if I had been less of a coward, I probably would have taken a shot at becoming a comedian. Then again, my parents fear of living in a large city also probably had something to do with it, but I'm not going to go there.

I've started playing a new MMO, called (drumroll) Star Trek Online. I can see your eyes rolling now, but it amuses me, and who knows, maybe I find a bunch of new online friends with this game and go to meet them in real life at a Star Trek Convention, like I did with the City of Heroes friends in Chicago back in August. We're also planning to meet again in 2011, at the San Diego Comic Con. So we shall see.

.....

Well I just came back from lunch, and my coworkers took me out for my birthday. Had a good time....I got nothing.

Now I won't claim that I'm going claim that I'm going to have something inspiring to say here. I've always considered this blog to be more Gillian's Island than Masterpiece Theater, but I'll have something interesting to say. I'll try to keep it clean but no promises.

My 2 Bytes.

Abba World?

I couldn't make this up, even if I tried.

Abbaworld, SERIOUSLY? Who thought this was a good idea? Is this because of that damn Mama Mia show/movie/whatever? Should I be blaming Meryl Streep for this? I can't believe this is for real, and wholly sanctioned by the band.

Well first the good news. It's not in North America, it's in London, so I can proudly say that it's not our idea...until they move it to New York or something. Now the bad news, it's located near one of the potential hotels that I've singled out for my trip to London.

SERIOUSLY, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?

How can I describe this mess? How about I just cut and paste the description.

"The hugely interactive experience will take visitors on a mind-blowing journey through ABBAWORLDS' 25 rooms, bursting with exclusive music, footage, images and never-before-displayed memorabilia from the personal collections of the world's most cherished pop icons; Agnetha, Benny, Björn and Frida. "

Let's see, 25 rooms of this shit? 25 rooms of Abba crap? 25 rooms dedicated of the "world's more cherished pop icons"? Wasn't Michael Jackson the King of Pop? Did the guys in the group actually sing? With the exception of 1 song. All I ever hear are the women singing. For awhile, I thought the guys were the roadies. Was Abba that big? If they were so huge, why couldn't they afford more letters in their name? "Let's buy another B Pat".

ARE THEY FRIGGIN SERIOUS?

I wonder when men go to see this thing, there's a spot where they can check in their nuts, because they're not going to need them when they go see this.

There's also Abba quizes, and multimedia presentations including holographic displays, including the ability to be in a Abba music video, appear in a Abba poster, and album cover.

UGGGHHHHH. Easy stomach, don't turn over.

What I also love is how they decided that London was "nautrual" choice for the location of this disaster. I think this is one of the signs of the upcoming apocalypse. I'm sure of it. First Sarah Palin and now this.

Ok, this is what I want. I want all the Sex Pistol fans in London to rise up, go to this thing and trash the place. Oh, and beat the crap out of Justin Hawkins of The Darkness as well. I'm sure that freak is there every day. I'm pretty sure he's Tiny Tim's love child.

I'm sure you've guessed by now, that I'm not going to this thing. I have no interest in seeing this thing, and I hope that it shuts down as soon as possible, and to minimize the trauma to the innocent. I know I've said that in the past that nothing can make someone gay, but I take it back. This might be it. If teenage boys so see this thing, I'm pretty sure that they's going to come out of there, with a craving for penis and head straight to the mall to buy some leather pants. Where the heck is Pat Robertson when we need him? Why isn't he condemning this?

That last bit was probably over the top, and I'm sorry, but seriously EWWWW!!!!!

My 2 Bytes.

Those people are at it again.

I'm convinced that Saudi Arabia is the worst place in the world to live. I remember blogging about a lot of crap that happens in that country. How a 19 year old woman who was gang raped, was sentenced to received 200 lashes BECAUSE SHE WAS RAPED. Well I got another one of those WHAT THE FUCK incidents from this country. A 13 year old has been sentenced to recieve 90 lashes and spend 2 months in jail becuase of a so-called assult against the headmistress of the school. This is really pathetic.

So apparantly there was an issue over a cellphone, and apparantly the student smacked the teacher in the head with a glass. Now I can see how this kid needs to be taught a lesson before she becomes some Saudi princess who beats her servants, but to be whipped? What the hell.

I have a list of places I want to see before I die, and I'm slowing working through that list, but Saudi Arabia is definitely not on that list. Not when they whip 75 year old women for having male guests in her home. There is something seriously wrong with this place.

There are some people (the people who watch Fox News probably), will say that it's because of their religion, and I don't buy that. I've met many Muslims in my life. I can even call some of them friends, and none of them have ever said anything about a pro whipping belief. I think it's just a bunch of miserable old bastards who get off on causing pain in others.

I honestly don't know what is wrong with these people. They had to be shamed into donating to the relief efforts in Haiti. Even Iran, which isn't exactly the best place to live either donated to the relief, but Saudi Arabia, one of the richest countries in the world only sent their "condolences". WHAT THE FUCK.

We really need to get off this addiction to oil, that way the rest of the world will stop turning a blind eye to some of the bullshit that happens in that country. Maybe then, and only then will they smarten up.

A country that whips children? They should be ashamed of themselves.

My 2 disgusted byted