My father passed away earlier this week. I feel horrible. I've been able to keep it out of my mind most of the time, but today I have to face reality head on. I'm not looking forward to it.
After my last blog post, I took a look at how many airmiles I had saved and it turns out that I had enough for one more flight, so I booked it. I could only get a flight to Toronto. My sister-in-law has to pick me up at the airport before we endure a 4 hour drive with my nephews.
The whole idea of being an uncle has always seemed foreign to me. I guess that's the advantage of living thousands of kilometers away from family. Isolating myself over the going ons of family. Over the years I've heard about things going on back home. People getting married, people splitting up, people having kids, and people dying. I've always been able to take that information and file it under whatever, but not this time. This time reality is bitch slapping me in the face. I'm not sure how I'm going to hold out.
If you're wondering why I'm not writing about my dad, it's quite simple. I'm in a public place and I don't want to break down and start sobbing in an airport terminal. Whenever I think about him, after a few minutes later the reality sinks in
GAWD DAMMIT ENOUGH OF THE DAMN PAGES AT THE AIRPORT THEY WON'T STOP AND ITS TOO LOUD.
I'm having a hard enough time writing this without hearing the 15th page for passenger Davis that he need to board his plane to Vancouver.
I'm not looking forward to facing the reality about this. I want to honor him in my blog, but I can't do it. Not now, not here in the terminal of an airport. I don't want strangers see me cry, though I doubt that would happen with the constant pages.
One thing I can say is, while I didn't agree with everything he said, and I do/did...have some dad issues, I still loved him, and he will be missed. I will miss him. I love you dad.
My 2 bytes