Thursday, February 04, 2010

I feel alone...

It's been 2 days since I lost my job, and to be honest I'm scared that I might end up on the street.

I applied for Unemployment, but the big concern is my debt. Specifically one of my student loans. I pay $575 a month on this loan and there's no way in hell that I can pay that without a job. Also, to make matters worse, I was sued for that amount. I've been making the payments, but what now? Are they going to be jerks about it? What are the rules that they have to follow? Will they show some compassion, and say screw you and enforce a judgement to have 30% of my unemployment stripped from my unemployment benefits? I'm scared.

I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to afford my rent and end up on the street. I'm scared that I'm going to be homeless. I'll have nowhere to go.

I'll be honest, I don't really have in the city. I have "work friends", but not someone who'll let me stay with them. I don't have any buddies in the city. At least I have the second job, and I do have money put away, but my plan to go to London is shot. When I spoke to the people from Unemployment, they seemed to act like there wouldn't be a problem for me to be getting my benefits. I'm just scared of the government and the $575 a month payment. How am I going to cover that? Am I going to have to go out and start collecting bottles from dumpsters like some homeless person?

Again, it all comes down to being alone. I called my mom and dad on Tuesday, but I didn't tell them about the loss of my job. I didn't want them to worry. I don't want them trying to help me. They're retired now and they have to take care of themselves. They can't take care of me.

I would feel better if...I could move in with a buddy for awhile and become a roommate or something, but I don't know know anyone that well, and the idea of moving in with a stranger...does not make me feel comfortable.

Right now, I feel like I need a hug, I need to talk with someone, but I don't have anyone that I know that well.

Last night I went out with some friends from the former work place, and we chatted, talked and they said some real nice things to me, I thought I was going to cry when I thanked everyone for the kind words. Everyone at the company was great except the the person I had to work with directly. The comment that was made most last night was why does the guy who put the hole in the wall gets to keep his job, but the nice guy everyone likes looses his? That's the one good thing about all this. I don't have to see him anymore.

It really was a great place to work. It was the direct opposite of Kohl and Frisch, the place I worked at before. At K&F, I dreaded going into work, but at the last place, I loved it. Oh for the record, I'm not going to mention the place I used to work out of respect for the company, which I still have, and the fact that the person I used to work with has a Google alert on the company name so he's see my post. To tell you how cool the last place I worked is, the VP of HR told me to call her anytime, if I need to talk and has also said that she would be a reference for me. She, and the other HR person have both gone out of their way to help me, even after I left. I even have both their cell numbers, if I need to call. I could call them, but...I can't. I just feel like I need to keep it professional. I've even considered seeing a psychologist. I know someone who's knows a thing or two about that. I'll ask her.

My 2 Bytes.


Anonymous said...

Heart you Moony

letti said...

heart you too, K.

E said...

I know I am far away in Vermont, USA but you always have a place to stay with like dogs, right?:) Laurey doesn't give hugs or kisses, she's way too snobby for that but she'll let you rub her stummy for hours! And hugs from me are free...:)

Keep in touch with your friendly ex-coworkers, they can be your best leads for ner jobs and references! ~E