I talk about doing things like writing a book, which I have started, then I get the idea for the second book which will be fiction, but can I actually get off my ass and do something? No. Instead I spend my week playing a videogame. I know better than this.
I've meet many people who complain about their lives and do nothing about it, and I'm scared that I might become one of them. Heck I haven't blogged in a week.
One of the things that I've been debating is if I should get a bus pass for the month of March. Is this something that I really need? Well after some thought, I decided yes even though it's more money that I'll have to pull from my savings. Sure I live downtown, and everything I need access too is in walking distance, but still, I need to feel like I have the freedom to go anywhere I want to in the city. I did the math, and it would be cheaper, but it's more than money, it's my freedom.
I also think my insecurities are also playing a major role in what is basically my fear of the outside world. i think it shows as well. I appear nervous in front of others in interviews and it's showing. It's being commented on by the headhunters, and I need to do something about it. I was reading one of Vics tweets, and she mentioned Toastmasters International. I've heard of this group before and considered becoming a member, or even attending a meeting. I did a web search and picked where I was going to go and meeting. I'm all set but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm getting scared. Me in a room filled with new people? What the hell am I thinking?
What I'm thinking is that I need to do this. I need to gain some self confidence, because right now I have NONE. ZERO. NADA, and how do I expect someone to hire me and have confidence in me when I don't even have it in myself?
The book has suffered as well. I haven't written a thing in the past week, and that isn't good either. I'm not thinking that my book is going to be part of the Oprah book club, but I need to do something. I don't want a repeat of last week. Sure I managed to get my first toon to the rank of Rear Admiral on Star Trek Online, but an employer doesn't give a crap about that. So tomorrow, I need to do a lot of follow-up calls on potential job opportunities. I need to get up early and do something. I need to regain control of my life.
I need to get off my ass and do something.
My 2 Bytes.