Saturday, February 20, 2010

It's all about the Yadda Yadda,

I'm doing better, but not great. Then again, for me great would be wining the lottery and spending the rest of my life in the lap of luxury, for the rest of my life, I'm ok for now. Just ok.

I picked up a book at the library today, something recommended by a online friend. I hope she doesn't mind me calling her a friend. I started to read "How to stop Worrying and Start Living", as recommended by Olly. I haven't gotten to far into the book yet, but I'm hoping it will help. I've also added another one of the authors book on my library hold list.

I still haven't told my mom and dad about not loosing my job, and I'm still hoping that I won't have too, until I get a new job, so they won't worry. To be honest, considering how well I'm doing so far in the job search, I don't think that it will be much longer before I find something. My skills and experience are in demand after all.

I do have a problem with the blog though. I now find myself thinking that my blog ideas should go into the book instead. I'm going to have to find that balance soon between what goes into the book and what goes into the blog. Is there a reason why it can't go into both? I need some feedback on this.

There is one thing that is pissing me off however. Once again, I'm missing an Olympic Games in Canada. This time because I can't afford to go. The last time was my parents fault. They've never been into big cities and they tend to shun them, while I'm the exact opposite. I love walking downtown in the valleys between the glass towers of a major city. I remember just before the Calgary Olympics, my family moved east to Ontario. I DID NOT take it well, and to this day, I feel that this move did sabotage my life in some way.

I've always found small towns to be ...small minded and suffocating. There isn't anything to do. There's nowhere to go other than a local bar (BORING). If you want to see a hockey game, all you have is a local minor team, and some don't even have that. I live within walking distance of the Saddledome, where NHL hockey is played. This city once hosted the world for the world as Vancouver is doing now.

I really shouldn't be blaming my dad for being trapped in a small no future town, but it was his fault. I tried to get any old job just to earn enough money to move out of there, and start a new life but I couldn't even do that. I guess my dad and I just see the world differently. Thank God for that, because I do not want to be my father.

I'm still looking for focus in life right now, and it's just isn't happening. My spirit is all over the place, unable to focus on one thing for long. At least I'm not freaking out anymore. I still have 2 weeks before I have to start doing that, and by that time, I won't have to.

My 2 bytes

1 comment:

E said...

How is the book? I think I could use some advice about no worrying and yes living!

I know how hard it can be to not blame someone but I really hope you'll try to get past it.... You can still know that it is because of your dad you made decisions but they were your decisions. Please believe me...I know that a lot of the way I am is because of my parents. I am totally a product of their nature and their nurture...but I am still me and me is amazing. You are you and you are amazing too!!! L, E