Monday, March 01, 2010

Need to stay focused.

Well I didn't blog as much and I would have liked in February, but I did better than any month of 2009, so I am still on my way back to being a regular blogger. I think the key is to not give up on my goals, and not have another panic attack.

I've been having a lot of them lately. I still haven't heard back from Employment Canada about my benefits, and it's the not knowing that's driving me crazy. I feel like I'm barely holding on by my fingertips and that I'm about to fall into the abyss. There are some nights where I wish that I just won't wake up the next morning. I know I need to push on, but it's still so hard.

(UPDATE: I just checked the EI website and I'm getting benefits, so I feel a lot better).

I think the weekend are worse for me because I feel more powerless. I know I'm not going to hear from a potential job opportunity.

I'm kind of a loner, with not many friends in the city. The people I feel close to are either back east or in the United States. I guess that's why I feel more comfortable blogging about my woes to my online friends, instead of talking to people in front of me.

I think that's why I do better on the phone than in person. On the phone, I can be myself, but in person, I come off as nervous. So I've decided to take control of my life again. First thing is that I'm going to take Olly's advice on making a daily to-do list. Between that advice and the book recommendation, she really has been there for me, and I really owe her a thank you. Of course I also appreciate all the words of support from Letti and Erin, as well.

One thing I'm going to do, starting tomorrow is attend a weekly Toastmaster meeting. I picked which one I'd going to attend, and I'm going to do it. I also need to look into taking a few courses to get my certification on some techie things which I won't go into because I don't want your eyes to roll to the back of your heads and then drool to start to run down your face as I try to explain the techno-babble, which you really don't care about.

The key thing is that I'm once again taking control of my life, and I'm not going to spend it in the fetal position. Now that I've checked off another item on the daily to do list, time to work on the book.

My 2 Bytes


letti said...

That's a great idea of Olly's. It really helps you get a picture of what you need/want to do, and when you start crossing things off, ( at least to me ) it feels absolutely wonderful and empowering.

Anonymous said...

很用心的blog,推推哦 ........................................

Anonymous said...

I agree with Letti and I'm glad Olly gave you that advice. Good people.

Good luck with the Toastmaster meeting. I have always wanted to go but I fear public speaking more than anything.

I'm blogging more too :) Or at least trying. Nothing interesting though but it's a start!

Olly said...

Glad you found the list thing helpful. I'm looking a few on my desk right now. Although I think I may have been a little overly eager when adding "paint the house exterior" in February, lol. You will have to tell us all in a post how the Toastmasters meetings are going. And yes, I consider my on-line blog buddies as friends;-)