I've been having a lot of them lately. I still haven't heard back from Employment Canada about my benefits, and it's the not knowing that's driving me crazy. I feel like I'm barely holding on by my fingertips and that I'm about to fall into the abyss. There are some nights where I wish that I just won't wake up the next morning. I know I need to push on, but it's still so hard.
(UPDATE: I just checked the EI website and I'm getting benefits, so I feel a lot better).
I think the weekend are worse for me because I feel more powerless. I know I'm not going to hear from a potential job opportunity.
I'm kind of a loner, with not many friends in the city. The people I feel close to are either back east or in the United States. I guess that's why I feel more comfortable blogging about my woes to my online friends, instead of talking to people in front of me.
I think that's why I do better on the phone than in person. On the phone, I can be myself, but in person, I come off as nervous. So I've decided to take control of my life again. First thing is that I'm going to take Olly's advice on making a daily to-do list. Between that advice and the book recommendation, she really has been there for me, and I really owe her a thank you. Of course I also appreciate all the words of support from Letti and Erin, as well.
One thing I'm going to do, starting tomorrow is attend a weekly Toastmaster meeting. I picked which one I'd going to attend, and I'm going to do it. I also need to look into taking a few courses to get my certification on some techie things which I won't go into because I don't want your eyes to roll to the back of your heads and then drool to start to run down your face as I try to explain the techno-babble, which you really don't care about.
The key thing is that I'm once again taking control of my life, and I'm not going to spend it in the fetal position. Now that I've checked off another item on the daily to do list, time to work on the book.
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