Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I’ve been sick for a few days so I didn’t blog, or visit blogs, but I’m back now.

Recently, while I reading someone’s blog (and they know who they are), I came across (ok not the best choice of works), a couple of paragraphs about Astroglide. Now I “know” what this product is, but the name of this product is so innocent. To me it sounds like the name of a floor wax for making your floors really shiny. I have image of a 50’s sexist commercial with a tacky jingle ending with a bell going “DING” at the same time the “home maker” smiles and a star like effect comes with the smile, but that’s not what it’s for, you know it, and I know it. It’s for women to use when men don’t understand that foreplay is more than dirty talking and a couple of nipple twists (THERE I SAID IT).

So I did some research and went to their website. I noticed that even their bottle is smooth and curvy. Men like smooth and curvy, so I like the bottle, but did you know that you could get FREE SAMPLES! I didn't know that but why would I want free samples? (HEY!! DON'T THINK LIKE THAT SO SICK PERVS)

As a continued my research, I discovered that there's a strawberry scented version of the product. So her CENSORED can smell like strawberries, cool. Oh and there's t-shirts and sweaters with the Astroglide name and logo. So wearing these clothes will the tell everyone that when you CENSORED, you use Astroglide.

As I read through the site, I realized that “dryness” isn't always the man's fault (THANK GOD, but it didn't mentioned headache as one of the reasons, strange). There's some Health related information there, so these guys appear to be responsible.

I did find a “fun page” and there was a game where you're a little white guy shooting stuff. (I'm not reading anything into this), Though I did loose interest after the first level, so this might be something bad.

I've decided that I think that the name Astroglide is a great name for this product. While it's a little vague, it is family friendly. (I'm talking to you Wondercum), If the Wondercum people made this product I'm sure they would have called it something nasty like Pussylube. Oh and if it's ever in my home and my mom find it, I'll tell her it's for the floors.

M 2 Bytes

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Friday, January 25, 2008

Thursday, January 24, 2008

It started as a nice post.

I sit here wondering what to blog about.. yes again. I’m not feeling the creativity flowing despite the need to put something on the screen. I feel the urgency to write…something; something profound perhaps? I somehow doubt that will happen though. I look at the world around me for inspiration, but to no avail. I’m looking through all the standby places to get ideas and while I find potential, I’m not find “pay dirt”, I’m not finding something that makes me say YES (with the hip thrusting motion). Then I found this.

Have a mentioned that I love puppies? Puppies are so cute….

Arghhhh this place is getting to me again. I have never been in a work environment like this; A work environment where people cry…all the time. Again, I can’t mention names and I’m not mentioning where I work, I have never been in such a crazy work environment.

It’s either people getting mad at other people for using certain equipment, people mad because they won’t participate in group gossip, or just outright spitefulness. At one point, I had to disable outgoing calls on one of the extension because people were using it to call their friends and family, and they would talk for HOURS. I swear, I can’t believe how pathetic this place is becoming.

Being in IT, I’m insulated from most of what happens here. Some people talk to me for help, while other people…I think they fear me for some reason. I know that I tend to give of an imposing first impression that is when people see me from a distance. One person told me that she originally avoided me because of it. It wasn’t until she heard from other people about what I’m really like, did she start talking to me, and she’s been a troublemaker ever since (God bless her). However, this place seems more like a high school than a place of business, with Cattiness rating of 11.

Now that I think about it, I need the puppies more and more. A puppy wouldn’t be dishing out this kind of crap. I a puppy would only want to play, be cute and not be a catty. I guess this is why I prefer dogs to cats.

I think this is the reason why I like my second job as well. They’re good people and none of this crap. I feel really bad for HR Lady. She’s suppose to be a Human Resources person, not a Kindergarten Teacher who has to make peace over who should get the ball and who should get the dolly.

Did I mention that these people are adults and parents? God help their kids.

My 2 Bytes

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Thank You for the Well Wishes

I want to thank everyone for the Well Wishes I received on my Birthday. It was really appreciated. Thank you very much.

I took yesterday odd because I’m not the type of person who likes to make a fuss about my birthday. In fact, I’m the type of person who makes a big deal about their birthday anymore. Actually I’m not the type of person who enjoys celebrations like that at all. I tend to feel uncomfortable about such things. I tend to think, “I don’t deserve the hoopla”, but the messages, on Facebook, on the blog, and the Instant Messages I received from a few people made me smile.

I remember one year a friend of mine organized a surprise party for me at work even though he knew that I would hate it, (that’s why he did it, though I was gracious about it). Again, I was uncomfortable with people making a fuss over me. I just don’t like it.

Again, I just want to say thank you.

My 2 Bytes

Monday, January 21, 2008

Talking about the weather

I've seen my first weather blog. Oh man, some people need to get out more.

my 2 Bytes

My Crotch

This morning was really nasty. It was so bad that I was 30 minutes late, and the traffic was slow because of 2 accidents, not to mention that the bus was ‘standing room only”. It was horrible.

So I’m standing up, while the bus heads to work and something occurs to me. The way I’m standing, The woman sitting in the seat close to me is at eye level with my crotch, and the way she’s sitting, and the way I’m standing, she’s basically looking at “my crotch”.

I really didn’t give much thought about it, until a though crossed my mind. What if my fly is down? How do you check for something like that with a woman facing my crotch? If I were to reach down to check, then I’d be touching my crotch which would be just as creepy. It would make me look like a pervert or something. (Note: Yes I know that I AM a pervert, but I’m a closet pervert, which means that I act normally in public).

The thing that really had me concerned was that the fly being down might have been a real issue. I’ve left my apartment in the morning in a semi conscious daze to discover that my fly was down, and I’d make this discover at work. I had these images of the woman suddenly screaming and pointing, and then the police would show up and I would be dragged off to jail for indecent exposure or something; all the while screaming at the woman, “If I was going to flash someone, it wouldn’t be some nasty old bag like you”. Then I would have to contact a lawyer and then work about what had happened.

Well the good news is that my fly was up. Everything was tucked away safely, and I’m not in jail becoming someone’s special friend. Thought from now on I’ll keep an eye on that detail.

My 2 Bytes.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Podcast

This is more of a test than anything else. Nothing Profound, nothing too interesting, and nothing dirty.

My 2 bytes

Saturday, January 19, 2008

The Clip of the Week

While my neighbors to the south had Schoolhouse Rocks, we had this. Sometimes, life can be so unfair.

My 2 Bytes

Friday, January 18, 2008

Photo Friday (He's with Stupid)

I love it when these so called religious types who try to use the Bible as a reason to exercise their bigotry, get PWNDED!!!

My 2 Bytes

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The return of the Podcast

Today I was searching through Go2web20net. It’s a list of all the web 2.0 stuff, and there was some really cool stuff there I recommend that everyone should check it out. Anwyaw I’m snooping through the site and I discover Podcast people. It’s a site that hosts podcasts, and they have a FREE version. Long time readers may remember (or they might have mentally blocked it out), that I used to do a nasty excuse of a podcast, but I stopped doing it when the company that was hosting, killed the free accounts, so I stop. Now I’m thinking about starting a 2.0 version of Tales of the Great White North: The Podcast. Is this a good or bad thing? I can’t decide.

Now here’s where it might get interesting. Currently I use Skype Out for all my long distance phone calls, right from my computer. Last year I originally planned to do something similar with Vonage, but I could never get it to work. I’m pretty sure that I could get it to work with Skype, even if it means having to buy some software. So I could have multiple people on the podcast.

This is going to involve some testing, including doing the first podcast solo, just to make sure that I don’t completely suck at it. Then after, some further testing, involving recording a phone call or two, I’ll put the invite out for a partner in a Podcast.

Once again, I’m up to no good.

My 2 Bytes

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Yadda Yadda or Random Thoughts

I can’t think of anything to blog about so, I’m just going to blog about random thoughts. I think this is the evolution of the Yadda Yadda.

Sometimes Tim Hortons coffee can be nasty. In fact I usually order half coffee, half hot chocolate to keep it from destroying my taste buds. Oh and why do some people need “piping hot” coffee? Why do they need to burn the inside out their mouths?

So guy is suing the owners of the Empire State Building because their security stopped him from jumping. I think the should invite him back to the top of the building and PUSH HIM OFF, without his fancy suit. The guy went on to say that he was the only one in danger, because of the security. What a tool.

Yesterday I discovered Global Pandora. I used to use Pandora all the time, to hear new music, because I hate radio. I hate the commercials, I hate the announcers. I hate normal radio, though I do plan to try out Satellite Radio by the end of the year. As a result of this, I don’t hear about new bands, but with Pandora, I get to hear new stuff that they think I’ll like, based on my channels. 30 Seconds to Mars ROCKS.

I haven’t done the Google Adwords thing yet. I’m still working on the keyword list. I have lots of keyword that I want. When, and only when that list is completed, I’ll go live with the adwords. I’m targeting to be completed by the weekend.

A man who went to emergency room for a head injury received a rectal examination against his will. Oh and they guy was charged with assault for hitting the doctor. Personally, I would have beaten the living shit out of the doctor for sticking something up my behind. Last time I checked, NO MEANS NO.

That’s all I have for today

My 2 Bytes.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Something from me

I look forward to the day when I can sleep in again; though I fear that day might be years away. I started a second job this weekend at a grocery store; my hours are 5 to 1. That’s 5:00am to 1:00pm, which means that I’ll only get to sleep in on holidays. One of the things that I’m trying to do is get some money for an advertising budget for the website. I’m starting to do the Google Adwords things and I’m hoping, that I’ll be rewarded for this action VERY SOON.

The second job is very easy actually. It’s not a tasking job, the only issue is that I start at 5:00am. Despite having to drag my ass out of bed that early, I see this as a good thing. Since I’m done at work by 1:00pm, I still have my day, since I would normally sleep in until 10:00-11:00am that day and even then, I would just loaf around until noon. This is time that I would normally piss away but now I’m making money with that time.

To be honest, I’m glad that I’m not sleeping my life away on the weekends anymore. A lot of times, especially on Sunday’s I just park myself on my couch or my TV and do next to nothing. I wouldn’t even bother to get dressed. I would just drag my planet to the couch and watch DVD’s., but now since I’m out of the house, I do stuff., well I plan on it. Yesterday I went home and took a nap, next time I’ll go and buy groceries or something like that. Some of the things I plan to do is invest in the website, pay off some bills and put some cash away for the future.

I guess this is a “me” post; getting into my head, so to speak. Someone once told me that despite reading my blog, that I rarely blog about myself and my life. Sure I’ve mentioned that I work in IT, and I’ve mentioned the site, but I haven’t really blogged about myself. To be honest, if I did blog about all my interests, this place would be an 11 on the geek scale. The last thing I want to do is bore people about what anime, I watch (You must have figured out that I’m a fan of the stuff since I sell the stuff on the website). I like reading comics (though I haven’t done that in a while), I play videogames, and do all around geeky stuff.

It’s not that I’m ashamed of who I am, it’s just that I know that outside certain circles, I’m not …interesting, unless suddenly their computer break, and suddenly I’m their best friend. I usually help these people out because I think it’s the right thing to do (unless they’ve pissed me off), because I like to help people.

I still look forward to a future where my life belongs to me and I’m still convinced that 2008 will be my year, despite the negativity I received from my mom (she thought I should shut the site down because it was costing me money). So I will own 2008, and continue to help my friends out well into 2009.

My 2 Bytes.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

The Clip of the Week (The Cat Came Back)

Another Great Canadian Animation (We like to laugh).

My 2 Bytes

Thursday, January 10, 2008

We can stop the cows, We have the technology

A little over a year ago, I raised some concerns about Global Warming. Specifically about how the farting cows are one of the causes of this serious issue. Well it appears that I’m not the only one who’s worried about the cows and is looking to do something about it. Some scientist have noted that when kangaroos fart, they do not release methane (a green house gas, I guess), so they’re looking at importing the bacteria that prevents the creation of methane in the kangaroos, to cows. So if the cows stop the nasty farts, we can save the planet. Ok it’s a start.

I really hope this works, that way I won’t have to travel the world to plug all the cow’s butts. I asked for help but Jay won’t help me, because of an undisclosed incident in 94, and I’ve never received any commitment from anyone else. Personally if it does, I know a few other people who could use this bacterium as well.

While this might seem a little silly to some, for me it’s inspiration, it’s nice to see that scientists are working on something other than boob research. I admit I might have a “boob” thing, but there are FAR more important things that should be taken care of, and dammit finding a way to prevent the cows from slowing changing the earth is one of them. So Aussie’s I salute you for your “out of the box” thinking and helping come up with real solutions to Global Warming. Though I still wonder why Al Gore never talked about the cows in that movie. Maybe he just wanted a steak.

My 2 Bytes

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Mr. Ed is an ass

Note: This is a rant about the premier of Alberta. Most of the comments I talk about are provincial issues, but there is one universal truth that we can agree on. POLITICIANS CANNOT BE TRUSTED

Once again, I feel nothing but rage and disgust at our so called Honorable Premier Ed Stelmach, who will now be referred to as “Mr. Ed”. It’s bad enough that he had to be shamed into coughing up on Infrastructure funds for Calgary (and he only did that after they lost King Ralph’s seat in a by-election), not only do they refuse to institute rent control in the most expensive city to live in Canada (My rent is going up 18% to $110/month in May), but Now this jackass (he really is a jackass and I can’t wait till the next election to get rid of this guy) has decided to sue a 24 year old University Student because he went and bought which now links to a Wikipedia entry to this provinces LAMEST premier.

This guy has proved to be a major asshole from the beginning, but now he’s suing University students, NICE. I think the next thing he’s going to do is start forcing kids to eat vegetables covered in Tabasco sauce. I swear this guy is so out of touch with the world, that’s it’s amazing that he’s able to use a telephone. For the record, I’m sure that this guy has never been online.

One thing I find strange was how this guy was able to buy that domain 4 MONTHS after he was became premier. He was never elected premier; he took control of the Tory Party after the previous leader stepped down. Since he took the position, this guy has done nothing but prove that he doesn’t give a damn about the people of Alberta. All he cares about is being a stooge for big business, and lying to the people of Alberta. After he took office, we made a promise for new Infrastructure, and then he added all these bullshit conditions. As a result the mayor of Calgary was furious, and he wasn’t shy about it. He was all over the local media, as well as the media in Edmonton (the provincial capital), about how dishonest they were. It got quite verbal between the city and the province, and the province changed their minds after loosing the former premier’s riding. The problem is that they’re still doing the same old crap now.

Let’s get one thing straight, Mr. Ed is a public figure and he has to learn to deal with it, and suing University students is not the way to go about it. Sending out a lawyer was not a smart idea, because…well lawyers are stupid. Sure, they know about the law, and get paid a lot of money for it, but they do not have a clue about what is going on in the real world. Remember, its lawyers in the US who thinks it’s a good idea of sue their customers (I’m talking to you RIAA).

Also, they lawyer is suing for all the funds earned from the site, (which used to link to his own website). The lawyer is suing for the $20/month this guy, a student, was getting from Google Adwords. I swear, I’ve never meet lawyer that I didn’t want to smack in the face with a shovel.

Keep in mind that an election doesn’t have to be called until early 2010, but I read somewhere that once could be called this spring (but I doubt it). This guy is an embarrassment to the province, and need to go. The issue were having right now is the same issue that we had in the Federal government recent. We have a party that’s been in power too long, and the power has gone to their heads.

Let’s just get rid of these guys and get a new government into power here.

My 2 Bytes

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

2008, My Year

I think things are starting to come around for me in 2008, or I’m just having a good January, It’s all started with me a public transit. For some reason, I do not have to wait for more then 2 minutes for a city bus or train, or better yet, they park at the stop and wait for me. It now appears that for 2008, I am the King of Calgary Transit.

That’s not the best item though; yesterday I got a second job for the weekends. Now I know that everyone is saying “second job???” Here’s the deal, in May my rent is going up $1100/month, and yes that’s Canadian dollars, yes it’s a 1 bedroom apartment. Rents in Calgary have gone through the roof. My rent is now going up 18% and they’re nasty people in my opinion, so I need to brace for this. As well, I need an advertising budget for Space Station Anime (no I didn’t link it), so I figure that this will give me some money to promote the site. Now I’m starting the Pay Per Click Campaign this weekend. I’ve started to work on things with the site and I’m hoping that I’ll have sales by the end of the month.

I’ve decided that 2008 is going to be there year that’s everything is going to change. This year I’m going to do stuff for fun. I’m going to go to at least one NHL game, if not more. This year I’m going to buy a Plasma TV, a new computer, and a new laptop. This year I’m going back to Ontario to visit family, new friends, and old. This year I’m going to get my passport, so I can cross the border, and buy stuff cheaply.

This year is MY YEAR.

My 2 Bytes

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Best Comments of 2007

I know I’ve (as well as many others) have done a year in review where they plug their best blog posts, but I’ve decided to add something to the mix. What I thinkn really makes a blog interesting are the comments made because of a post. So I present the “Best Comments of 2007”. Now not all of the best comments will be posted here because when I initially made my list, it was 11 pages long so, I’m forced to edit it down a bit, oh and remember, YOU wrote these (and I wrote a few myself), not I. Also it’s funnier without the context of the blog post.

i can't decide who has a worse horse face - celine or sarah jessica parker.

LMAO - you're lucky you didn't SEE the baboon thing m'love, arse hanging out of pants, knuckles dragging across the floor and the odd bout of chest beating as he jumps up onto the couch.. It's quite distressing I assure you..

What, we don't get to hear the story behind the no pants one?
Come on!

Yuck???? But it's Beer. The right nipple has Bud and the left has Bud light. It's perfect.

That was hilarious. "a craving for cock" just about made me spit coffee all over the screen. Thanks for the good morning chuckle!


It's not like I would say to my dad, "Hey Dad, look, Cleavage"

I just pray "small Canadian Flag" isn't a sexual inneundo for your little william, ahem!

what the hell did you try to sell K? nekkid pictures of Bea Arthur?

keep her in jail!
keep her in jail!
muahahahahahaa....she deserves it i say!
the reality show's a crap n dey make normal ppl like us a laughing stock to dem...
oh btw...apart fm finally did the tag, i did observed dat the water really does flushes anti-clockwise in most toilets here...hah!

For us Europeans, what's fanny pack? In the UK fanny is a crude name for the vagina though I'm aware that for you lot on't tother side of the pond a fanny is a bum.
Also, phew! I too have no idea what a glee club is, though I'm presuming it's a club where nothing gleeful ever happens.
However, since discovering your blog the other month I've noticed you worry overly about being a nerd. I think last month it was some comic book convention that propelled you into the land of worry. Relax mate, chill out. That you are not a Star Trek obsessive is good enough for me.
ps, what's protection? Are we talking condoms?

Cats do fart. My cat (Darth) is incredibly good at it.

This is my favorite type of post from you. You really should rant about different types of assholes more often, you certainly nailed this one on the head.
Did this particular 'beret wearing motherfucker' also happen to be sporting a nappy looking blazer (most likely brown tweed) and/or a dirty, wrinkly sweater vest? Those ones are the worst. They think they're coming across as all scholarly and shit when they really just look like dicks.

OMG!!!!!! THAT's SUPPOSED TO BE WHAT I'M GOING to go through THROUGH.. er.. except the routine checkup part . dang. stop scaring me.

That's awesome. I love people who "invent" by just combining two things that already exist. Plus, who doesn't like a dick in a box?

Zombie boobs - HAHAHAHAHA!

why do people get a thrill out of pinching other people's butt cheeks?

He's a FUDGE PACKER!!!!! ~E

At least you don't get people stopping by from searching "defecating at work" and "pap smear ettiquette", 'cause that's all I get.

At least you got to attend the career fayre armed with rubbers, and a plastic bag too. Good job you left your flasher macintosh at home!

That is brilliant.
I have only once spent Christmas somewhere warm that has palm trees. I didn't find it all that enjoyable, but I think I now know where I went wrong: my family was there too.

That's just wrong.
These should only come out with for doggie bachelorette parties.

You cursed frostbite on his "it"! That's classic!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

First rant of 2008

At work we have a bunch of microwaves for people to use for warming up their lunches, which is a nice convenience in my opinion. There’s even one outside the front office where my cubicle is. One thing that seems to happen a lot is that people will take their food out of the machine before the timer ends and NOT clear the damn thing. What I want to know is why people are setting the damn timer when they have no intention of waiting for the damn thing to count down. If they want to warm their food for 2 minutes, why do they take it out at 1:30. SET THE FUCKING MACHING FOR 1:30. IS THIS SO FUCKING HARD?

This happens all the time around here and it amazes me at the lack of logic around here. The things I’ve seen are amazing. But I cannot blog about them because some things are told me in confidence, and other stuff I overhear. Either way, I’m going to keep quiet about stuff that could bite me in the ass, but there is one thing that I can reveal because it doesn’t involve any other staff.

I’m in the front office and I’m the one who usually buzz people in. That is the door is locked and I have to hit a button to unlock the door so they can enter. Outside there is a sign on the door telling people to push the doorbell button to be “Buzzed” in, simple enough? I thought so, but 90% of the people who come into the office cannot get it right, and out of that remaining 10%, 8% are either vendors, sales people or service people. I call this the “First Hurdle of getting a job”, if you can’t understand the process of getting into the front office, then you score high on my list. Again, I usually have to wave these people to get them to open the door. STUPID!!!!

Another thing that gets me after they walk in, if they start talking to someone else in the front office that happens to be of the same ethnic group as them, they tend to ignore me and start talking to the other person in their native language. This seriously pisses me off, so much so that I’ll ignore them for a good 10-15 seconds after they ask me for an application. Apparently I’m not important enough to talk too, so why the hell should I bother with then, especially after they failed the Door Test.

The big issue in this city is the need for smart workers, and right now we’re force to scrape the bottom of the barrel, and based on what is walking in to apply, we’re scraping pretty deep.

Another thing I’ve been doing is looking over the applications for issues, such as contact information, but I also notice other things, like the lack of language skills. Now if I were moving to a new country, I would make it a priority to LEARN the language of the country that I’m moving too, thus if I we’re moving to Canada, I’d make sure that I knew how to speak, read and write in English (or French if I was heading for Quebec). If I were moving to Japanese, I’d take some time (months at least) to make sure that I could speak the language and learn the basics of the written language (ok 6 months would be needed, but dammit, I would make the effort).We give out a 3 page application which requests standard information like name, address, previous work experience and education. I’ve seen people take over 30 minutes to fill this thing out, and some of the take the applications to their car to ask their friends what they should write down.

Ok people, here’s some tips, Under Name of University (if Applicable) , do not put your country of origin. Also under Please tell me why you’re interested in applying for this position, DO NOT PUT, Me need money for rent and food. I swear that I can’t take this much longer.

My 2 Bytes

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Predictions for 2008

I’m sitting here, reflecting after doing the year in review and while it can be fun to look into the trouble I’ve caused in the past, it’s time to move forward into the future. I like to think about what will happen, and therefore I’ve decided to make some predictions for 2008.

Personal Predictions

First, I predict that I will sell some DVD’s at my website Space Station Anime in January, and then in February, and so on.

Also I predict that I will travel beyond the borders of Canada. I will cross over and visit friend who live in the U.S. and beyond.

As well, I predict that I will meet some of the people on my blogrolls.

I also predict that I might be Screeched in this year

The last prediction is that I will quit my job this year.

Worldly Predictions

I predict that George W Bush will get his hand stuck in a toilet.

I predict that the Stephen Harper’s mask will fall off and we will see that Tom Green is really the Prime Minister of Canada.

I predict that the mainstream media will become bored with Britney, Lindsay and Paris and start covering real news events. (Ok this is more of a wish than a prediction, PLEASE PLEASE, Ok I’m begging now).

I predict that Ed Stelmach,the Premier of Alberta will amaze the people of Alberta by showing us exactly how far he’s able to stick his head up his own ass. GO ED GO!!!

I predict that OJ will finally go to jail, and before he’s carted off, he will be heard mumbling “I should have done to them, what I did to Nicole”.

I predict that we will discover once and for all, why men have nipples.

I predict that Bill O’Reilly will choke on his own bullshit and lies.

I predict the world will finally come around to my Peeing in the Gene Pool theory and start doing something about the overbreeding of stupid people.

My 2 Bytes