Monday, January 30, 2006

Take your political correctness and shove it up your ass!!!

There’s this trade show for the videogame industry called E3. It’s a pretty big deal for the game industry. The place is usually swarming with people (vendors and sales people and geeks to manage to buy their way in). All the big players are there like Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo. Every year the show gets bigger and flasher but next year, the show will be taking a step in a direction since the show’s director Mary Dolaher has decided to BAN THE BOOTH BABES without any reason.

Like it or not, Booth Babes are part of E3. Models appear at the booths dressed up as the female characters in the games (sometimes they are wearing scantly clad outfits), but basically because of this person’s decision. This basically says that Lara Croft will no longer be appearing at E3 since she might be considered a Booth Babe. The same thing can be said for BloodRayne and the women of the Dead or Alive series

Personally I think this is BULLSHIT, especially since there is no explanation. Did Mary get offended and decide that she will control what the exhibitors will show? Funny how nothing is mentioned about Male models for the booths.

Basically, I think Mary is on a little power trip and if she wants to annoy the hell out of everyone, that’s her business but messing with a multimillion dollar trade show is not a good idea. Unless she has a justifiable reason and proves to everyone that’s she’s not just being a lil control freak, quit FUCKING around with E3.

My 2 bytes.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast 16

Warning. I breathe into the mike and the post is half assed.

My 2 bytes.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Election Results

This is my LAST political post for some time. I fear that if I do another one that Vics will beat me to death with a fish.

It’s late. The conservatives won but they have a minority, just as I hoped. They will be able to do some good fiscal stuff but not mess with things like Same Sex marriage since I believe that the block and the Liberals will not let them.

I honestly believe that the Conservatives best friends will be the Bloc Quebecois. So we will have western separatists and eastern separatists keeping Canada together . Oh the irony of it all.

Tomorrow I will be back to the regular crap.

My 2 bytes.

Monday, January 23, 2006

It's got to be Monday. Election Monday

Hello everyone. It's Monday morning and I'm feeling blaaa. Well it's election day and according to the polls my local MP (who will retain his seat) will be the next Prime Minister of Canada. Everyone knows that I live in Calgary (it says so, on my profile) but no one knows what part of Calgary I live in. So here's a hint for all my would be stalkers. I live in the Calgary South West riding. So as everyone has probably guessed. I'm going to vote for the guy who going to end up living at 24 Sussex drive (That's the Prime Minister's official residence).

One thing that bothers me is the other guys. They must know that they don't stand a chance. These people put themselves out there, knowing that the will lose. They must know that right? So for today, I will promote other other candidates of Calgary South West before they fade into obscurity and Stephen Harper offically becomes PM (Prime Minister).

Larry Heather : This guy is a candidate for the Christian Heritage Party. Personally, anyone who wants to mix religion and and politics is dangerous. I think our neighbours to the south have it right when they decided to separate church and state.

Kim Warnke : I've been hearing yadda from the Green Party for some times, but what are they all about?

Michael Swanson : He's the Liberals sacrifical lamb. I remember seeing a poster for this guy earlier but he didn't even have the balls to say that he was a Liberal. Oh and his name reminds me of TV dinners.

Holly Heffernan : She's NDP. The day NDP gets elected in Calgary, is the day hell freezes over (or Oprah appears on Letterman (ok that did happen but no one thought it would))

Anyway, tonight I'll sit on my ass and see if my guy gets a majority government or a minority govenment. I'm actually hoping for a minority and he's forced to form an alliance with the Bloc. I know, western conversatives and Quebec separists. What the hell am I thinking? I'm think the the Bloc will keep him honest.

My 2 bytes

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I met with IBM today

Here’s the deal, I’m tired. I could write about how I was holding a fart in while I was in a meeting with a couple of guys from IBM but that would probably bore you. How I was praying that the meeting would end so I could excuse myself. How I feared ripping one in front of these 2 guys from IBM, but I’m not going to write about that.

My 2 bytes.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Questions I want answered.

I’m lost again so I’m winging it. Here are 10 questions that I want answered.

1. Who invented ‘Pull my finger’ ?

2. Does the water really flush the other way in Australia?

3. Why can’t all the names of countries be as easy to spell as Canada?

4.Why are there naked women in the ‘Brokeback Mountain’ movie?

5.Do gay cowboys really look like the guys in Brokeback Mountain or do they look like those guys in Deliverance?

6. Did Ned Beatty read the full script for Deliverance before agreeing to do that movie?

7. Did Burt Reynolds hide certain pages of the script for Delverance, telling the producer, Ned likes surprises?

8. Who invented bagpipes?

9. Is Lois Lane so dumb that a pair of glasses is enough to fool her into thinking that Clark Kent and Superman are 2 different people?

10. Is Abe Vigoda alive?

My 2 bytes

Monday, January 16, 2006

They're moving my ass again

I have this problem.  I think I’m becoming the ‘gonna set the building on fire’ guy from Office Space. Here’s the deal. My boss comes in and has this….I’m not looking forward to this look on her face. Then she tells me that she wants to move my desk to the communications room. This is fine except that I HAVE NO FRIGGIN WINDOW NOW!!!

I’m going to be all by myself in the communications/server room. I’m going to have to listen to the whine of many fans from the controllers and servers. I’m not looking forward to this. I can see myself acting like that guy in Office Space, feeling like he’s being moved into storage and muttering ‘I’m going to set the building on fire”. Well at least, we get to move all the crap out of there and she will let me decorate, new lights, white board and stuff like that.

I guess I’m really going to miss the WINDOW!!!!  I’m going to miss seeing the sun from my desk. I know that everyone pictures computer dorks to be pale as hell but I like seeing the sun outside. It reminds me that I’m ALIVE and not buried in a TOMB. So now I’m sort of bummed out.

However I wonder if I can get a fake plant to make things more……homey. A picture or SOMETHING. My boss has made some indication that she would allow to put something up but if the HR guy comes in with a poster of our company’s ‘values’ to put in my new space…..I’m going to set the building on fire. OH AND NO ONE HAD BETTER TRY AND TAKE MY STAPLER.

My 2 bytes.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Return of the Half Assed Podcast.

Tales from the Great White North: Podcast #15.

No show notes. Click Icon to listen to podcast.

My 2 bytes

Thursday, January 12, 2006


it's 9:24am and I just farted while sitting in my chair. It was a muffled fart sound. If your lucky, then I will never comment on this incident again.

UPDATE: I went to the bathroom to do a numbe 2 and I farted into the bowl. The echo sound was incredible. I'm seriously impressed how my ass is able to create sound like that.

my 2 bytes.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Closet Pervert

I’ve gotten some positive feedback over my last few posts and then Hugh noticed something. I always seem to referred to sex in some way, form or manor. I’ve come to this conclusion. You like it when I subtlety talk about smut and ‘naughty’ thought. I do have a fear of talking about sexual themes though. I have this underlining fear that people are going to decide that I’m some perverted creep. I admit that I’m a pervert but I’m not a creep. I never say any nasty comments to women unless they start it first.

I remember once person that I use to talk to at work. She was the trouble making type, which for some reason I’m attracted to. Though she was married so I kept my boundaries however this didn’t stop her from causing problems for me. The one time she really messed with my head (and she knew it), was when I was physically blocking her from getting past me. (We were in a narrow aisle). I just shifted myself to prevent me from passing. Suddenly she drops puts her tray aside and starts to a rub my chest. I was immediately shocked and she managed to get by. I couldn’t even say a word because I was so embarrassed. She later teased me and said, ‘your embarrassed because you like it’ and she was right.

I also remember working with this other woman and she and I would taunt each other. Since she was single, we got a little more graphic. I got to know her while I was working towards my degree. Again I played along (since I’m a big flirt) but I never really did anything.

I’ve been described as a big teddy bear more than once. I try to have a pleasant nature and never push people. I try to make people laugh at how I look at myself. Basically I’m a closet pervert.

My 2 bytes

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Over the day

I started to work on a post yesterday about how my zipper broke at 7:00am, an hour after work has started and the post was so boring that even I fell asleep. I think I was tired actually. I’m still not completely better from my illness. Odds are it was the political debate on TV that put me to sleep.

I wrote that first paragraph at 7:30 and it’s now noon. So now I can’t remember what the heck I was going to write about but I bet it will really funny. To bad you missed out.

Don’t you hate it when you forget a good idea. It really annoys me and I even created my own Whiteboard to put any ideas down. Oh the password is ‘canada’ if you want to put a suggestion on there. I’ll check it out every 2 days just in case someone can think of something that I should write about.

Well it’s now 1:12pm and I now realize that this is going to turn into an all day long. Yadda yadda post. I can’t think of anything funny or smartassy to say but who knows. I remember doing that last 20 minutes of the day post but I want to do something else.

Oh yeah the new ISP thing is working out, sort of. I think I’m suffering from packet loss issues. At least I think I am. The suggestion that something interrupting my downloading of smut causing me nothing but outrage. GRRR.

Well during lunch, I watched episode 2x11 of Battlestar Galactica. Even if you’re not a sci-fi fan, check out this show. They are so well written and are thought provoking. I bought the first half of season 2 on DVD already even though its not available in Canada till May. Screw them bastards. I will watch whatever show I want. Oh try renting them if you don’t get Sci-Fi Network or Space. It’s really worth it.

I just got off the phone with one of my bosses in Toronto (that’s where Jay lives) and things. She’s a good person. I’ve noticed that all my bosses are female. Why is that? It is because I’m less ambitious or is it because of something else. I think it’s something else or it …..would mean absolutely nothing to me. Then again …it still means nothing. Oh and it’s 2:30pm. One more hour till quittin time.

Ok last 15 minutes and the sun is in my eyes. I’m planning on listening to the second last episode of The Howard Stern show (last show before Satellite I mean), which I downloaded. The reason this show because Jackie the Jokeman comes back. If your not a stern fan, then you don’t know who Jackie is so nevermind.

I’m going to post this mish mash and hope for the best.

My 2 bytes.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

A blogmate did this

I found this via. WERE ALL MAD HERE

Your Stipper Song Is

Like a Virgin by Madonna

"Like a virgin, ooh, ooh
Like a virgin
Feels so good inside
When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me"

No virgin-ness implied. Not at all.

Well maybe if Like a Virgin was played with a TUBA it would work for me!!!!

My 2 bytes

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Barbie's underwear

Earlier this week I was talking with someone at work. I’m not quite sure how the conversation ended up in a certain direction, but she told me that apparently they now pain underwear onto Barbie dolls. If this is true then why? First of all, Barbie is an impossibility. I read somewhere that her dimensions make her some sort of ….. basically she’s not real.

What I want to know is who decided that they should be painting a thong onto Barbie? Actually I don’t even know if it’s a thong. She could be wearing something else I guess. I’m just not comfortable opening up a Barbie box in a store and finding out. What the heck were try trying to hide by painting underwear on Barbie anyway.

If they should be hiding anything, it should be Barbie’s boobs. We all know that Barbie is stacked. We’re talking pop star boob job stacked. They’re so big according to scale that I have to wonder how Barbie can walk and if she can, does she have major back pain? Why haven’t they painted a bra on this woman? Not that I’ve checked for Barbie’s actual bra size or anything (I had no luck searching the Internet), but she is ‘blessed’ Ken should be a happy man, (except that he’s GAY!!!). The old G.I. Joe dolls would have loved that for R. & R.

That reminds me of an old car commercial with a G.I. Joe type doll with a car drives into the girls room and picks up the Barbie doll, (she comes out of the house looking like she’s ready to party) and poor Ken is standing their with his jaw hanging.

I can’t decide if the painted underwear thing is a big deal or not. It’s not like there’s anything to be hiding but now little brothers can no longer check out Barbie’s bare ass. Something to think about.

My 2 bytes.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I can easily pull this stuff out of my ass

Alright, I want to say that I’ve been messing around with some new Web and Internet technology but the truth of the matter is that I’ve been somewhat lazy. I’ve signed up for a Protopage account but I haven’t set it up yet. When I have it set up I’ll let everyone know the URL. I’ll give you a hint, ‘fromcanada’ is in there somewhere. WHAT THE HECK. The link is up.

I also discovered this new way to access my PC from anywhere that has an online connection, It’s called Hamachi. It’s a Canadian product and it’s free. I’ve yet to mess with this product yet either.

Basically I spent most of my day blowing my nose. It’s driving me crazy. The worst part is that I feel fine, EXCEPT FOR MY RUNNY NOSE AND SNEEZING.

Again I’m lost for a topic but I remember saying once that I would blog, topic or no topic, so here I go.

I found this on the Internet. (why is Internet with a capital I?) It was one of those Men are from Mars…. Blaa blaaa, but instead it says Men are from Google, Women are from Yahoo. WHAT???? First off the picture in the story is kinda creepy. The guy is a lecher and is going for a grope and she has this smile that says, ‘Yes, go for the cheap feel you little creep.’ It’s the end of civilization as we know it people.

Anyway it goes on to talk about how men use the Internet as opposed to women. They all use it for the same thing right? Illegal file trading and porn? It just talks about social stuff and really proves nothing in my opinion which shows that the author, Jason Lee Miller could quickly pull crap out of his ass like this or that he had nothing and his deadline was coming up.

People use the Internet PERIOD. My mom uses it, I use it and you use it. What does it matter what percentages of the users have testicles or not, or even what percentage of males have a penis that smells like cheese cake?

It’s the Internet, Enjoy it.

My 2 bytes

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The fine line between being a superhero and a stripper

I’ve noticed something while I’ve been playing City of Heroes (Yes this was bound to happen). Whenever I see a female toon (that’s what we call the Avatar’s) wearing a cowboy hat, I think “Hey, she looks like a stripper”.

Now I live in Calgary, AKA Cow town, and every year we have the Stampede. I seen many people, both male and female, wearing cowboy hats but why would I think of a certain hat of being the stripper hat? Good question, so I did some research. The result is that I might need a girlfriend.

I looked at different websites that sell cowboy hats. I checked out the women’s hats and I didn’t see anything that said stripper. Then again, perhaps it need to look at a website for stripper clothes. The problem is I couldn’t find a site with a cowboy outfit.

So tonight I’ve learned 3 things, Number 1. I’m playing too much City of Heroes. Number 2, I appear to need a girlfriend. Oh and number 3. When I really don’t have any idea what to write about, DON’T WING IT.

Then again, if you were to put a cowboy hat on Wonder Woman and put her next to a stripper pole. Would you think superhero or stripper?

My 2 bytes.

Monday, January 02, 2006

New Years Resolutions

Well it’s that time again where people make New Years resolutions and by January 15th, they’ve blown it. Ok so here are my New Years resolutions.

Resolution #1, Meet people. I’ll be honest. I'm shy. I’m extremely shy and the idea of meeting new people scares the hell out of me. I tend to think why would people want to meet me. I blame lack of self worth. When I was the kid who was made fun of in school. I was the odd kid out. Growing up, I thought why would anyone want to spend time with me and I still have that hanging over my head. I’m scared of meeting new people and I need to get over it, if I ever want to accomplish anything significant in life.

Resolution #2, I will no long judge my self worth based on my bank account balance. It seems that my student loan and other debts have got a good hold of me. While I’m finally starting to see some success from my degree, I still over my head in student loan payments. As a result, I never have the money to do anything.

Resolution #3. I will watch my health more. I need to loose some weight. (Ok I need to loose a lot of weight). Again, I think it all comes back to self esteem. It’s getting my ass over to where I get a hair cut when I need it. Eating healthier and buying clothes when I need some.

You know I’ve decided that most of what I want to change is a result of the Student Loan people having a firm grip on my BLEEPS, but I’m not going to let them decide how I should live anymore. SCREW EM!!

My 2 bytes.