Monday, August 31, 2015

Comic Book Nerd or Pervert.

So last week, i picked up a new 3TB hard drive for my PC. I’m not going to say where because I want free stuff before I do it, so screw them. Before the new drive my main storage drive was a 1.5TB. I’m trying to get through the technobabble as quickly as possible, here. I can already hear some of you going. I really don’t care about this shit, but the point is, I added a third hard drive which was twice as big as the old drive.

Now I decided I wanted to move the largest folder over to the new drive in order to free up space on the old drive. Now here’s the shocker. The biggest folder on that drive was NOT THE PORN FOLDER.  Yeah, I was surprised as well. I even kidded myself on the way home by saying,. 3 Terabytes, that’s a lot of porn, but smut did not dominate my hard drive. What did was comics.

I’ve been a comic book since I was a teenager. Sure I read a comic book here and there when i was a kid, but I didn’t really get into comics until I saw a really cool cover. Its was Star Wars issue 61 which featured a close up of the cockpit of a tie fighter with it being piloted by Luke Skywalker. The cover enticed me, and I bought the comic, and was hooked ever since.

Now I’m going to go babbling on about my love of comics (I can hear the eyes starting to roll to the back of your heads again), but the point is I had more comic books, than porn on that hard drive. This means I’m more of a comic book nerd than a pervert. I don’t know if I should proud or disappointed. I could analyse this deeper, but I’m scared of what I will find.

Now there days, they made parody porns (well that’s what I heard), where they do x rated parodies of superheroes, sci-fi movies, and even classic tv shows (again, I just heard this), so it looked like there’s now a place for comic book nerds, and perverts can now have common interests. Well not me, because I’m not a pervert.

However I am a HUGE LIAR.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

I did not fall on my keys

So I’m getting ready for work this morning. I’m all dressed, and I look pretty and all, and suddenly BOOM. I can’t find my damn keys. Why is it always the damn keys. I have a spot where I normally put them, but I did some late night laundry, so I needed my keys.

It’s amazing where you will search when your keys are missing. I looked at the usual places, like the dining room table (or it’s not really a dining room). The coffee table, my workstation desk (for my last job where I was able to work from home), but no luck.

Now I start looking at the more unusual places. The refrigerator? Maybe I decided to put my keys there when I went for a drink ,Nope. The freezer?  Maybe I was sleep walking and decided I wanted ice cream in my sleep, even though I don’t have ice cream in the freezer right now. Nope.

Then onto the bathroom. Did I leave them in the bathtub? Why would they be there? Nope. How about the tank behind the toilet? Again, I have no idea why they would be there. Nope. I just hope that I didn’t flush them down the toilet. You’d think I would remember doing that.

What if I accidently threw them in the trash? I go searching through them. I find an empty box of cremecicles, a box of Tuna Helper, and a can of tuna. The statistic bag to the new hard drive that I bought (I’ll talk about that next time), but no keys.

By this time, i start searching the couch again. Also look under the bed. Behind the bookshelf. On top of the bookshelf. NOTHING.

Now I’ve been looking for a good fifteen minutes now. I’m going to be late for work. I keep looking and now I’m looking at the same places for the second and third time. I don’t know why I looked at the freezer again. It wasn't there the first 2 time, so why would it be there now?

Again, you're wondering, if you checked there twice there already, why would it appear when looking a third time, but I was getting desperate. Then boom. I found my keys. In the the pants pocket of the pants i was wearing last night. I KNOW FOR A FACT I SEARCHED THOSE POCKETS TWICE, so why did they suddenly appear? I have a theory. I think the keys ended up in that alternative dimension that one soft goes when it gets lost in the library.

THAT HAS TO BE IT, OR I’M CRAZY !!!. Ummm maybe not crazy, just really weird.

My 2 Bytes

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

I'm indifferent, and I'm ashamed of it

So I was planning on write something about Coronation Street. How can this show be on for more than 50 years, when as soon as I hear that theme, I fall asleep, so maybe the show gets such good rating, while the TV is on, the viewers were asleep. That was before I heard about ANOTHER shooting, this time live on television. Reporter Alison Parker and Videographer Adam Ward were killed during a live report. You think that perhaps, it was in some dangerous neighbourhood, but nope, it took place in at an outdoor shopping mall for tourists. The killer was a former co-worker, who was fired earlier this year.

What bothers me isn’t so much that this occurred. What bothers me is that this occurs so often that I’ve become desensitized by it. I’m honestly ashamed of myself over feeling this way, but it happens so often, and no real actions are taken to stop these acts from occurring, I’m not at the point of saying “Whatever”

I know that some have tried to do something to prevent these acts from occurring in the future, but others will stand in their way for one reason. They were paid to do so. Let’s not bullshit ourselves here. The NRA in the United States works to block any gun legislation so the gun makers can continue to sell their products, and make money on the deaths of the innocent.

I remember awhile back where a group set up a fake gun shop, which featured guns that were used to kill people, even from Sandy Hook.. I remember the NRA tried every trick in the book to have these people prosecuted. However all their arguments, “and lies” were called out as an officer from the NYPD was there for the who event to make sure no laws were broken.

I admit, that the idea of firing an assault rifle does sound pretty cool, and there are gun ranges in my city which will allow me to do this, but in a controlled environment, under supervisor of a gunsmith.

That’s the key thing. Responsibility. People who fight against gun legislation need to be made responsible for their actions. No more hiding in the shadows. They need to be put into the spotlight. A PSA of the person, with a picture of the gun that was used in killing someone.

however I doubt that would happen, because like myself, they’ve becomes numb to it. I just wonder if they feel as ashamed as I do, because I’m not proud of being numb to this

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

I have a Playstation....IN MY PANTS

I remember buying my Playstation 4, in the early spring when i was denied a Comic Con pass. My thinking is that this was something I wanted, but it wasn’t a high priority. San Diego Comic Con was a higher priority, but when it wasn’t going to happen, I figured that I go and buy one. This is the key thing. I bought the PS4. I didn’t try to steal it by sticking it in my pants like  Floridian Christopher Caldwell, 36 tried to do.

Now, I don’t know how big this guy is, but why did he think he was going to get away with this? Two words HAMMER TIME. This guy was wearing parachute pants, made famous by MC Hammer, but I don’t think MC Hammer was trying to steal game consoles in his baggy pants. Kris Kros wore baggy pant, but never tried to steal a game console. Who thought that it was a good idea to steal a Playstation 4 by sticking it in their pants?

Ever hear of the “pregnant” lady, who steals a frozen turkey as “the baby” This sort of makes sense, but this. This guy must have looked ridiculous with a large box bulging from his crotch, or was he going for the big “box” shaped box look. Why are there no pictures of this guy with the Playstation 4 in his pants? Maybe he should have also crapped himself, so it looked like a huge doogie?

I barely remember an incident involved my short lived criminal activity, but my mother has told me the story more than once. Especially when my parents had to pick me up at the police station. I think I was around 5, or 6. I was attending pre-kindergarten at the time. One day, I decided to go shopping at a Canadian Tire. I don’t remember getting there. I thought I walked, but my mother insists that I took the bus. Once at the store, I grabbed a shopping cart and proceeded to “buy stuff”. A large amount of sporting good, and according to my mom, a large container of Turtle Wax for my dad. After I loaded up the shopping cart, I made my way out of the store. According to my mother, a store clerk even helped me with the shopping cart. Now I’m pretty sure at that time, I did not understand the concept of money. I made it across the street, when someone from the store and a police officer spotted me. I don’t recall too much after that, except staring at a monitor in the police station, until my parents picked me up. I don’t recall exactly, but I’m assuming the store did not press charges.

Now here’s the primary difference between myself and Christopher Caldwell, 36 West Palm Beach, Florida. First, I was 5 or 6 years old, as opposed to being 36. Secondary, I didn’t try to hide my ill gotten goods in my baggy pants. I had them in a shopping cart for everyone to see. Lastly, I WAS SIX AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY BETTER. He’s 36 and should know better.

Dumb ass.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

RIP Yvonne Craig AKA Batgirl

Today, we lost the original Batgirl. The one who was in the 60’s tv show with Adam West. Sure the show was campy, but that was part of the appeal. Sure she never punched any villains or henchmen, but she did lots of kicking. Somehow Batgirl would always be on some stairs, or a wooden crate so she could kick someone in the face with the BOOM effect appearing to block views from seeing that she didn’t really connect. I also loved how Alfred knew who she really was really Barbara Gordon, but never told Bruce Wayne (Adam West), and visa versa.

 The really cool thing about Batgirl was that she had a motorcycle as opposed to the batmobile, that Batman, and Robin drove.

 The thing about that series was that all the big names from that era wanted to appear on that show. From Vincent Price (A movie god) as Egghead, to Burgess Meredith (Mickey from Rocky) as The Penguin, to Julie Newmar as Catwoman. That show was the first really successful attempt to bring comic book characters to television.

She also was the Orion Slave girl from the classic Star Trek series. I remember an interview I read of her, how she said the the green makeup kept coming off on everything, and everyone she touched. There were no reports of green handprints on anyone’s butt however.

She was also on The Man from U.N.C.L.E. A movie reboot of that show just came to the theaters this month. Looking at her IMDB page shows her work goes all the way back to 1957, and her last credit is 2011. Working in the industry for 50 years is a major accomplishment.

I’m not a big fan of 60’s sci-fi, but Batman, and Start are exceptions. I’ve never seen The Man from U.N.C.L.E. so I can comment if it was a good show or not, but Yvonne was part of multiple series that helped shaped Pop Culture today. The original Star Trek has been re released in multiple formats, and I currently own this series on Bluray. Also recently the Adam West Batman show has also been released on Bluray. It’s a box set and expensive, but I think it’s worth it to see Batgirl again.

 You will be missed Yvonne.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015


I’m feeling lost right now. I’m started on a new opportunity, but I’m feeling a little lost. About a week ago, I was laid off from my IT job in the oil and gas industry, and within a week, I managed to get a new job. A good thing, right? Well my bank account thinks so, but I think I’m suffering from a bit of cultural shock.  Right now it’s really slow, and that bothers me. It’s hard to get into the flow of things when it’s slow.
I also fear change.

I’m going to be honest here.  I miss my old co-workers, and I know some of them miss me. I’ve been in contact with a few of them and even the team lead wants to get together sometime soon. Losing my job was about finance, and not work performance.

I also miss the breakfast buffet on the main floor on Fridays. It would include a big helping of BACON. Mmmm Bacon.

The new place is a very relaxed atmosphere, and while the old team were close, and got along very well, it was a corporate environment. Using my ID to enter the building. Fancy cubicle pods. A security guard who walk about once a day. Someone who watered the plants. Someone who managed kitchens, to make sure they were fully stocked with coffee, juice, and pop.

I’m now in a small officer in an industrial park. Canada Post has a sorting center across the street, and a truck stop with a Denny’s up the street.

Oh I forgot, there’s a casino in walking distance as well, so this will be handy when I get my old severance, for the Blackjack. There is a hotel as part of the casino, so there may be hookers. (Channeling my inner Bender).
However, the casino thing isn’t all good. Next week, performing at the casino….Pauly Shore. (Cue dramatic hamster music)

Since it’s only my second day here, and I was at the old place for over 3 years, I’m sure it’s just me. I need to adapt to the new environment, but I still would rather have won the lottery, and be relaxing on the beach somewhere while being served drinks by scantily clad women (they’re called bikini’s).

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Trump's Clip of the Week

I know that since I've been back (less than a week, I admit), I've had a thing for Trump, and him running for office has only made my obsession even worse. I remember when he first started The Apprentice, he also hosted Saturday Night Live. This was back when the show was funny (I think). I particularly loved this skit The Donald did. This week's clip of the week.

Saturday, August 15, 2015


So here's the problem, with my 4 year hiatus from blogging. I missed some thing. I missed a lot of relevant things, but I also missed a lot of bullshit. Well didn't so much as miss, but never commented on it here. For example. HOW THE HELL DID THE KARDASHIANS HAPPEN?

(Warning, I've been saving this up for years.)

Is the current trend in television today is follow the stupidest people on the planet and make a TV show about them? I don't get. For the record, I've never watched the show. I hear about them online. I see their faces in the bullshit magazines in line at the supermarket, and I think to myself, if you can make a shitload of money doing stupid stuff in front of the camera, then SHOW ME THE MONEY.

Now I'd like to say that I have too much dignity to do such things in front of a camera, but I can be bought (except for the sex tape thing, my self esteem couldn't take the entire Internet going EWWWWW). I can do funny stuff on TV, like drive around town wearing a toilet seat around my neck. I can walk about with a Donald Trump wig (heck, I'm gonna do that for free).  I can get a spray on tan and dress like a douchbag.

Did you know that this person has acting credits. WHAT THE HELL!!!!

I was listening to a podcast, and they were talking about an episode where the sisters were having a competition over who's HOOCH smelled the best, and Khloe was the judge. Really, having to decide which sister has the best smelling....whatever.

This is all Ryan Seacrest's fault. It's his company that put this crap out there, for 10 damn seasons. How can something this dumb be on for this long, and how did these people get so famous for being stupid, or are they stupid?

I keep thinking of the piles of money they all have, and...well I have is a pile of dirty laundry. Makes me think, who's the dumb one now?

Friday, August 14, 2015

Money to burn.

So here's the deal. I was laid off from my job on Tuesday. By Thursday, I managed to secure a new job, starting next Monday, so I'm once again financially secure. Now I have 4 weeks of severance and 2 weeks of holidays to be paid out by the end of the month, but what to do with the money.

Now I've kidded about spending the money on Blackjack, and Hookers, but to be honest, I'm not the casino type. I can think of far better ways of burning money. As for the Hookers, nope. nope, nope. I'd like to think I have more class than. HEY I CAN DREAM CAN I.

My mother thinks I should act in a responsible manor and pay off my debts. PPPPFFFFTTTTTT.

I am on a quest however. I will wonder through the shops in the for a Trump wig. That is a no brainier. I must have the Trump wig. I need the Trump wig. I will become Trump.

The lastest idea I've come up with is a trip to Butte, Montanna, just to say I've been to Butte. I like many immature people like to call it butt. I'm sure that rural Montana is nothing like rural Alberta, and it will be a unique experience like going to Vulcan, Alberta, or Hanna, Alberta.  Sure I can walk around in Vulcan with Vulcan ears, and a phaser and no one would bother me. I might not even be the only one there doing that, since the town is named Vulcan. I could drive up and down the main street of Hanna, blaring Nickleback, and seeing how many people I piss off. To be honest, i have nothing against Nickleback, and I'm happy for a bunch of local boys from rural Alberta to obtain the amount of success that they did.

A trip does sound like a good idea, since I didn't go anywhere this year. Damn you Comic Con, but sense of responsabilty keeps going back to paying down my debt. PPPFFFTTTT. Why do I have to be responsible instead of irresponsible?  Maybe I can put the money to my debt while wearing the Trump wig, but Trump wouldn't do that. he would  just declare bankruptcy....again. Who know that something like this could be such a challenge, a while while I keep hearing this in the backgroup

Thursday, August 13, 2015

I want a Trump wig

I want this. I need this. I love this. I want to walk downtown Calgary in front of the oil company high rises and randomly fire people. Then I want to announce that I'm running for Parliament as an independent. Then I want to go to the high end restaurants for lunch, and fire people. There's only one problem, I found this wig on and the seller doesn't ship to Canada.

This is an outrage. How am I supposed to rule over my fictitious real estate empire without a Trump wig? How can i walk into a Calgary casino without a Trump wig?How can I order that my fast food order be "supersized" without a Trump wig?

I swear as God as my witness, one day I will own a Trump wig. I need it for Cosplay.

COSPLAY !!!! That's it. I've been to multiple  comic conventions, and have been teased about my lack of Cosplay, but now I have it. I will be Donald Trump cosplayer.

I like this idea more and more. It was be classy, with little effort. Just war a suit and the wig. 

Now I need this wig to go to 7/11 and buy the most fabulous Big Gulp ever. I want to ride public transit and complain that there's no flight attendant. 

I want to do that while only wearing boxers, and no pants.

YES !!!!

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Am I back? I don't know.

I haven't been here in 4 years. I'm not sure if I've been lazy, or just pre-occupied with Facebook, but now I've decided that Facebook is killing my creativity.

I think it's because I'm currently unemployed, I've decided to come back and write something here. I used to have a lot of fun blogging about stuff (or shit, depends on your point of view). Being submerged in IT world for so long, makes me think that perhaps, it was killing my creativity, but hey I had money, and was travelling, so everything was ok, but I don't think it was.

Sure I was posting little bits on Facebook. Posting awesome pictures of my travels, including getting to meet Vicky, and multiple trips to Comic Con, but here, I was creative. Here i was funny. Here I wrote about underpants.

It really wasn't until Jamie wanted a story about my sudden employment, that I realized that part of my brain has stopped working, and I need to jump-start that part of my brain. It could also be the fact that Broom County is back , but only on Facebook. PPPFFFTTTT

I missed writing stuff, stuff I found amusing, and then a day later finding a bunch of spelling mistakes. ARGHHH. Facebook stopped that from happening. I need to change that. I need the old me taking about weird, and random stuff. I remember spending a half hour typing this stuff, after searching the internet for over an hour. Those were the days. I kept talking about raging against the dying of my light. I think it died, but now I think there's a new flame.

I hope there's a new flame starting. Even if blogging isn't as cool as it used to be,

Screw You Facebook.