Friday, October 29, 2004

Photo Friday and some Yadda Yadda

I'm sorry but I had to do it. With all this talk about people the U.S. election, I needed something that would make people smile and I hope that I accomplished my mission with this pic, now Happy Hallowe...OOOOF !!

My 2 bytes

Thursday, October 28, 2004

The last of my Fast Facts

Ok last time, I'm getting tired of it as well.

76. I once say Mr. T in some Christian Action movie (its was a Christian movie anyway and It was Canadian.)

77. I'm sorry about the lingerie model remark. (Actually I'm lying)

78. My Mom is a neat freak.

79.Christopher Walken is as funny as he is creepy.

80. When I was in kindergarten, I played a mean Triangle

81. The World Series is over and I don't care

82. I really miss Hockey but think the season's a washout.

83. I never watched Buffy or Angel (I just never got into those shows)

84. I love that Flock of Seagulls song "I Ran (so far away)"

85. The band Rush was awarded "The Order of Canada"

86. Calgary Flames defenceman Mike Commodore is my new hero because he can see past the greed of the Players and understands that changed are needed for the league to survive.

87.Britney Spears has her own fragrance. Was this really necessary?

88. I'm in love with my PVR. I can't watch TV normally anymore.

89. Darr know weather.

90. People who call the police because kids are playing street hockey should be shot and pissed on. They're not hurting anyone and its not like they are breaking into cars and smoking crack. These people are nothing but control freaks.

91. The old Trailer Park Boys website is a lot funnier and weird.

92. John Kerry plays Hockey.

93. George W Bush was awarded a "White Hat" from the major of Calgary in 02 during the G8.

94. He put the hat on thing on.

95. Only half the world leaders who were given a White Hat put the thing on.

96. I own the shittiest digital camera in the world. A camera phone would be better.

97. The 6th Season of The Amazing Race will start on November 16th. I love that SHOW.

98.Currently, File Sharing is legal in Canada.

99. I think the RIAA is pushing too hard and one day, someone is going to push back and someone will get hurt.

100. I'm fed up with this Fast Fact things. If I ever do this again, I'll have ALL facts prewritten.

My 2 bytes

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

My Fast Facts III (Insert First Post Dramatic News Bumber Music Here)

Here we go again, yet more Fast Fasts (I intend to do this till Thursday, 100 is enough)

51. The radio station I'm listening to won't stop playing Van Hallen because they are in town and played the Saddledome earlier tonight.

52. I never got ticket to see Van Hallen.

53. My favourite Canadian mini-series is called "The Arrow" It features one of Canada's finest achievements and bureaucratic idioticy.

54. There's a security guard at my job who looks just like the former Iraqi Information Minister ("There are no Americans in Baghdad", as U.S. Tanks roll up the street a few blocks behind the guy.)

55. Courtney Love has not been sober since 1986 (Ok, 1984)

56. I despise the religious right and are usually neither.

57. I hate "Friends" with a passion.

58. Avril Lavigne was voted #40 in a list of 100 Greatest Canadian. I think you should be old enough to drink in the U.S. Before your even considered to be a great Canadian.

59. I blame Ontario for the Avril thing.

60. I blame Ontario for everything wrong with this country (with Quebec a close second)

61. I haven't forgotten about Amy Fisher.

62. I thought it would be cool if Moist and Bush toured together. We could call it the Moist Bush Tour.

63. Late at night, O.J, likes to call Judge Ito and whisper the words "I did it" and hang up.

64. When I'm really pissed off, I like to listen to "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses.

65. The Guns and Roses reference in Terminator 2 is cool. When Arnold is walking through the mall with the box of roses but inside is a gun as well.

66. There isn't a man, woman or child who does not enjoy a lovely beverage.

67. I bought Mulan on DVD today (I love cartoons)

68. I forgot Donny Osmond sang in Mulan (Where's did I put the receipt)

69. Americans say that I don't have a Canadian accent.

70. I didn't know where as such a thing as a Canadian accent (except for the French, the Maritimers and the Newfies.

71. During the G8 conference in Kananaskis back in 2002, there were no riots in the city and only 2 arrests. I'm proud of the Calgary Police's ability to respect the rights of the protester and maintain order within out city.

72. Some protesters tried to trash a MacDonalds during the G8 but city police officers managed to create an impromptu barrier by linking a bunch of patrol bicycles together and that's when one guy got arrested for trying to grab one of the bikes.

73. The naked protesters at the Gap downtown during the G8 were overrated.

74. I'm proud of my city.

75. I love Turkey and Mashed Potatoes.

My 2 bytes

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

My Fast Facts II (Insert Different Dramatic News Bumber Music Here)

Yep here we go again.

26. I love to watch cartoons.

27. The fact that I think some female cartoon characters are hot might be proof that I need a girlfriend (Dabbling in watercolors)

28. I’ve never met a lingerie model

29. On November 22nd I’ll be voting in my 3rd election in the past 6 months (We’ve had a federal, municipal and now a provincial election has been called)

30. Next summer, I have to go back east to Ontario for my sister’s wedding and I’m wearing a cowboy hat at the reception. (And I was invited to the dinner)

31. I want to be on “The Apprentice” just so I can say that I was fired by Donald Trump.

32. I know a guy who had never seen “Star Wars”. I’m convinced that one day; the police will surround his house and be forced to fire tear gas through his living room window and bring him out in handcuffs.

33. My favorite Canadian TV show is The Trailer Park Boys

34. I’m getting sick of Reality TV

35. I’m still not wearing pants.

36. I think Lara Croft is a babe (I really need a girlfriend)

37. In January of 2006, it will be my turn to marry J.Lo

38. I can’t wait for the new season of The Osbournes to start.

39. Alice Cooper is an avid golfer.

40. I want to be Alice Cooper’s caddy.

41. I’ve never driven a Zamboni.

42. I like boobies.

43. I like John Kerry because I believe that he will be a more Canadian friendly President (and he plays Hockey)

44. My spell checker thinks Zamboni is a typo

45. I buy crap off of Ebay

46. Yesterday to received “Looney Tunes: Back in Action” from my online DVD rental site.

47. I haven’t downloaded smut of the Internet in the past 48 hours.

48 Opps, Scratch Fact 47.

49. I want Eminem to release a CD of children’s songs.

50. I find Teletubbies hypnotic, I could watch them for hours.

Thank you for your support

My 2 bytes

Monday, October 25, 2004

My Fast Facts (Insert Dramatic News Bumber Music Here)

Everyone else has done this at one point or another so I thought I would do it as well (It beats doing the cookie monster song, I dread the day I have to do the Cookie Monster Song)

1. I'm not wearing any pants.

2. I have a nasty headache.

3. Its been 10 years since my dog died and I still miss him.

4. I don't understand women.

5. I'm sick of my job.

6. I'm 1/4 Objibway Indian (My grandfather on my Dad's side).

7. I went to DeVry.

8. Once upon a time I wanted to get into broadcast journalism.

9. My Dad played cards with Paul Newman.

10. Richard Simmons got within 10ft of me once, I still have nightmares.

11. I don't understand women.

12. I was born to be a smart ass.

13. My parents didn't apperciate my skills as a smart ass until I moved out.

14. I lie about my age (and I dread my birthday).

15. I'm a geek (but I don't look like one)

16. Women remain a mystery to me.

17. One day Weird Al Yankovic will be recognized for the being the musical genius that he is.

18. I hate fishing shows.

19. My dad watches "The Young and the Restless"

20. My mom records "The Shopping Channel"

21. I have over 150 channels on my Satellite Dish and a lot of time, all I find is crap.

22. One day Gilbert Godfrew will be recognized for his comical genius.

23. I'm convinced that Trek Parker and Matt Stone (South Park) probe my mind every night to get their ideas.

24. Orginally I was going to by the DVD "The Day After Tomorrow", the day after tomorrow but I ended up buying it yesterday.

25. One day I want to be a character on "The Simpsons"

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Mom's Rule

I found it amusing how people on other blogs have commented on the fact that they haven’t hold their mom’s the URL of their blogs. I told my mom long ago, she went once and hasn’t shown up since.

Like I’ve said before, moms are always there for you, no matter if you become a success, a burden on society or anywhere in between. Moms love you not matter what.

I remember growing up and how my friends would comment on how cool my mom was and to be honest, while there were times that she annoyed me, I still loved her but then again family can be like that I guess.

Thinking about my mom, I remember her words to me when I first moved out and went to College “I love you but GET OUT”. That’s her ways of saying leave me alone, your bothering me.

Actually I was talking to her on the phone yesterday (for about 90 minutes, good thing she has the unlimited long distance plan for Canada) and we talk about different family issues and such and overall it was a pleasant conversation. Then I mentioned how other people don’t tell their mothers about their blogs and how I did (and I mention that she never goes their) and she proved me wrong. She started talking about my post about the Amazing Race 5 and how they went through the city but that was a while ago so I was correct in saying that she wasn’t a regular visitor.

Well this morning she e-mailed me and mentioned more current things about my blog so she is coming down to visit. She even suggested that I sent the URL to my brother and sister. I did it once and if they don’t want to visit, then that’s not my problem.

Now I’m a guy who likes to multitask so I had an idea. I’ll e-mail her again and tell her that I made a post about her, so she will read it and I’ll include my Christmas Wish List (I’m so bad).

Ok mom, here’s what I want for Christmas (Now ask me if I have a snowballs chance in hell of getting any of this stuff)

• A New Notebook Computer with built in WiFi connection
• An Apple Ipod
• A 51 inch Wide Screen Plasma HDTV

Alright, maybe I’m pushing it a bit (That’s like calling WWII a minor skirmish) so how about

• Jak III for the Playstation 2
• Ace Combat 5 for the Playstation 2
• Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater (again for the Playstation 2)

There’s a hint, any of those three things will be fine. I did leave a big list of games that I wanted on my other blog but I already pre bought Grand Theft Auto San Andres so don’t get me that.

I know I should be ashamed for bugging my mom for such things but she knows I’m just teasing her and expect nothing except her love. Love ya to Mom.

My 2 bytes

Saturday, October 23, 2004

I hate the smell of burnt microwave popcorn in the morning

Well its Saturday in the AM and I'm at work, because I'm either too greedy or stupid for my own good. I can't decide which.

Well I just went into the lunch room and the smell of burnt popcorn was so overwhealming that I thought I was going to barf. Who came up with this idea anyway? Sure you can have fresh popcorn in minutes, however if you open the bag too quickly, you suffer from 14th degree burns on your hands and your screaming in pain as your hands turn into a melting pile of goo. (ThanksKati)

One more thing. Who the hell decided how long the popcorn button should last on microwave ovens anyway, because its always too long. Not once has the time set by the Popcorn button has failed to burn half the bag and you end up with up with this disgusting smelly black brick.

Like I said before. I'm at work so my time is limited so I have to get back to helping people out on MY DAY OFF!!!, so please forgive the spelling mistakes. I don't have time to properly proofread this post.

My 2 bytes

Friday, October 22, 2004

Winter is here, NOW GO AWAY

I am so sick of snow. I hate it, I hate it. Grumble Grumble. Well it stopped snowing FINALLY!!!. I’m so glad that I don’t own the building I live in so I don’t have to shovel any driveways or walkways. Though to this day I still wonder why my Dad waited until AFTER I moved out to buy a snow blower. I think it’s because I moved out.

There’s one thing I really hate about winter is the fact that the sky is always grey. I think of only a handful of times in my life when I saw a blue sky during the winter. I don’t like seeing a grey sky.

Just checked a satellite weather map courtesy of Weather Watcher. I love the thing, it’s a great tool, its international and no spyware (not like that stupid Weather Bug thing that asks you for your ZIP code and when you type in a Canadian Postal code, It complains). The image shows nothing but cloud cover. Were talking The Day after Tomorrow here.

I remember when Quaid and his buddies were all bundled up and walking to New York in their gear with the snow blowing and I thought, WIMPS !!!. As a child, I got sent outside to shovel the driveway in that and they make it look like it really horrible. Move to Canada you pussies.

Well at least I don’t feel so bad that they’re Christmas stuff in the stores already, at least we have snow on the ground.

Though I’m disgusted with the snow right now it’s probably because its city snow. It’s mixed with slush and tire marks and other crap thought I might like it more if I was out in Banff. I’ve never been to Banff in the winter and perhaps I should do something about it this year.

Oh yeah, this is why we have Thanksgiving a month earlier in Canada, because of this crap (and an earlier harvest).

Alright, I have an idea. If everyone in the city gets out their hair dryers, maybe we can get ride of the snow and warm things up.

While this global warming thing does sound bad, but all I have to ask is any of these people ever experienced winter?

My 2 bytes

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Our different selves

I’ve been thinking about my different selves all day and I thought I might ramble on about it

As I talked about yesterday, I have a second blog that I refer to as my geek blog. It is that blog that I just go nuts and talk about the things that would interest another geek or fan boy, like comic books and things that some people who consider childish (Though those people who snicker and judge me for admitting such hobbits should have the pickle removed from their ass. That’s why they walk funny). Anyway, someone could argue that this is just a different side of me (and they would be correct) but I prefer to call it a different self.

(I think I’m rambling, please tell me if I am)

Anyway I remember learning something in a Psych class I took, where we talked about private and public selves since we all have barriers of some kind or another as well as our idea self and our actual self (I think I learned that there or perhaps I’m just pulling this stuff out of my ass, I’m sure that’s what Dr. Phil does). So basically I believe that it’s ok to have different selves we decide what we want to share and with whom.

This blog for example could be one of my selves (actually it is) where I share certain things with people like you and my other blog is I share different things.

I refuse to believe that we are easily defined. I believe that we are all complex and that we all have infinite sides or selves. There’s reality of course but I kind hate reality, If I had my way, I’d rather live as the self who was Trump rich and doesn’t have to worry about cash ever again (whoever said money can’t buy happiness never had to live without it). Then again there’s the superhero self, who I call StarStryke (like I said, I enjoy comic books, the stories and the art are great), where I can accomplish many superhuman tasks. (Hey if Edda from 9 Chickweed Lane can daydream of being a superhero, so can I).

One of the things I really like about the Internet is the anonymity. You don’t know anything about me, except what I choose to reveal. I’ve revealed more to people I chat with via AIM but then again, that is my choice. Here I can be a thought of as a good writer (and some people have made comments and I thank you) as oppose to being a #####################, again I choose what to reveal.

While some people can (and do) choose to reveal more about themselves in their blogs, it’s their choice and that’s the best part. Perhaps one day I’ll put my real picture up (it’s not like I have a disfiguring mark or anything) but for now I’m happy with that image; just as I’m happy sharing what I choose to share with you now. It’s my choice.

(Unrelated, My Flames are in thrid place in the Western Conference of the G4TechTV virtual hockey season, GO Virtual Flames Go)

My 2 bytes

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Today is so BLAAAA

Alright I have not idea what to write about. I'm suffering from lack of human contact, my friends aren't online on AIM Instant Messager and on top of that, my 2 favorite blogs, "The Ocean" and "Different Shit, Same Smell" are both messed up and I blame Blogger. Well I did update my other blog today with no problems but you never know.

What other blog you ask? Oh well here goes, I have a second blog called "My Secret Geek Blog". Though I consider it a secondary blog and I put less thought into it, thought its still a part of me. Its a place to release my inner dork feelings. My video game playing, comic book reading, Star Wars fanboying, Dungeons and Dragons Role Playing, Science Fiction novel reading GEEK self.

I'd like to say that I'm comfortable talking about this part of myself here but to be honest, I'm not. Its like my 2 blogs represent my public and private self. I don't mind people reading about this blog and I don't mind people reading the other blog but for some reason I don't want people to make the connection that author of the two blogs are the same person, even though I have linked both of them together, makes sense? I'm not sure that it makes sense to me either but since I have it in my favs blogs list, I figured that I would add it to the post as well.

The words are just appearing on the screen now as I type this entry, I have no message to say or smart ass comment to make, I'm just typing for the sake of typing.

What really bothers me is that I call in sick for one day and my mind is lost. I had no interaction with anyone and my mind goes to mush. I've always considered myself to be an extremely independent person but this is pathetic. I was so starved for some human interaction that I started playing The Sims 2 and created lesbians, and with the new skins I downloaded for the game, they are anatomically correct now. Woo Hooo anatomically correct lesbian sims.

I NEED HELP. Thud Thud (Sound of my head banging the wall)

My 2 bytes

Monday, October 18, 2004

Tales from the Great White North

As my regular readers have noticed, I've changed the name of my blog. As for those of you that are here for the first time. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ???

So now my blog is called "Tales of The Great White North". It took me a lot of brainstorming to come up with this title. Ok I had a beer and came up with nothing. Actually the revelation that came with this new name came this morning when I looked out the window and I thought to myself. "Shit, its snowing. Why can't it wait till November before it starts snowing at least"

Anyway I went through my daily rituals of getting ready for work and hoping that there would be a big pile of money at my doorstep so I wouldn't have to go to work anymore but once again I was disappointed so I had to go.

I've been toying with different names because my old name seemed too amateurish. I wanted my title to mean something. I wanted a great title like the blogs that I've read, like "DaParson's Fishing Adventures" (I fine blog about old guys fishing) or "Pussy Talk" (I'll give you a hint, this blog has nothing to do with cats).

Well I've thrown the Canuck fact into everyone's face enough times so I figure "The Great White North" from the old SCTV skit with Bob and Doug McKenzie (How's it going eh) but I thought it needed something else. So first I cam up with words, then scriptures and so on. To be honest, I'm not totally pleased with Tales since I'm not telling tales of say, a trip to buy a snow shovel (I hate snow) or anything but unless someone can come up with a better idea than that, I'm sticking with it. So welcome to the "Tales of The Great White North".

(Oh yeah, in G4TechTV's virtual hockey season, Calgary is 4th in the Western Conference with 2 Wins and 1 OT loss)

My 2 bytes

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Looking for a good name

Alright I've decided to rename my blog, "That's how I see things" seemed so generic after all the blogs I've seen and read but I don't know what to rename it, but for now, it will be named after my favorite Aronld moive line, I'll be back has been done to death.

My 2 bytes

Its not Christmas yet. Get it through your thick skull ya moron

This weekend I was at the mall and I saw something make made me sick to my stomach. The Christmas crap is already out. I mean REALLY! Can we at least wait till after Halloween first? I remember when Christmas was about the birth of the Jesus, the son of God. Remember Jesus? The guy what was the main character in that Mel Gibson movie. That guy who died for our sins. Personally I thought Santa Clause said it best in that episode of South Park where Jesus died trying to get Santa out of Iraq, how we should remember Jesus at Christmas time. Arghhh I was so disgusted.

Anyway I’m over that now and I decided that in some aspects, I'm no better. As a kid, I remember going through the Sears Christmas Catalogue looking at the toys that I wanted and I didn’t give Jesus much thought. Even today, even though I’m catholic, I don’t think about my faith. I don’t practice my religion and I don’t agree with everything associated with it either but this does make me a bad person. It doesn’t make me a greedy bastard. What a minute, I am a greedy bastard. Oh well I guess this means that I still have limits to my greed. I don’t have to be religious to have my faith and morals to guide me, unlike the weasels who decided to start selling the Christmas stuff already. At least they wait until November 1st before put all the Christmas decorations up, at least I hope so this year.

I noticed on the news that in Nova Scotia, they’ve decided to continue the ban on Sunday shopping and that’s alright I guess. Honestly I do have a problem with government deciding when a private business can stay open or closed but it was a plebiscite so it was the people who decided; as opposed to here in Calgary, where Sunday shopping has been a reality for some time now. In fact in the past two years, the malls have been open on New Years Day, leaving only Christmas Day and Easter Sunday the only time when Calgary malls is closed.

Last January I heard some old woman complaining about it and how she was going to write a letter to the mayor but then I thought about it. How much money in sales were being generated and on top of that, based on Alberta Labor Laws, someone who works a statuary holiday has to be paid double time and a half for that days work so some high school kid making $7 an hour normally is suddenly making $17.50, that sounds like a good thing all over but that to tell that old lady and she would talk about how things used to be. Personally I wouldn’t want to go back to before the Internet, satellite television, and my PVR. I guess I can’t make retailers wait till November 1st to bring out the Christmas stuff. Oh well, though if I see another Christmas in July sale, someone is going to get their ass kicked.

My 2 bytes

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

I feel ashamed

First thing, Someone posted a comment on my website but I feel I shamed them into it by my screaming and for that I'm sorry.

Secondly I'm still finding little mistakes on one of my posts (ARGHHHH)

My 2 bytes

I'm not wearing any pants

Alright now that I have your attention I’m just going to ramble about little things, I’m not feeling very focused today so I’m just going to talk about whatever.

First off, I’m a horrible speller and I blame the educational system (OK I blame myself). So I tend to proof read and spell check a few times to make sure things are find on to discover days later that I missed something and I feel that my creditability has gone out the window. I write my posts on either Word 2003 or on Blogger’s interface and run spell checks (there’s this spell-check extension I have added to FireFox) and I reread so it makes sense but I feel that I need time to get away from my post before I look at it again but at the same time, I want my post up as soon as possible. As a result, what should have been the word one ends up being once and you don’t notice till Saturday after people have read the thing.

Secondly, I’m trying to figure out where the hell are these hockey references are coming from. I’m Canadian and I do enjoy a good hockey game but I’m not THAT HARDCORE when it comes to the game (I had to edit this post again after I posted it GRR) . I am a fan of the home team, the Calgary Flames, and it was great that we came out of no where and got to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. The whole city was abuzz (heck, the whole country was behind us, it’s been awhile since we had a Canadian team in the finals, even though most of the players on both teams were Canadian). After every game, people would head down to 17th Ave and people started calling it The Red Mile. Police would block of traffic and there would be a sea of people with people congratulation themselves and women flashing their assets. They even had a web site dedicated to the girls who were flashing but I'm not going to link that site, sorry I do have standards. It was a great time and I love going to the Saddledome to see a game but to be honest, I hate watching hockey on TV.

Finally, while I do get positive feed back from people (and I do thank you for that) and I know I have some regulars other than my mom (moms always love you no matter what kind of bonehead you turn into). I sometimes wonder if people really give a crap about my words. Now I’m not writing this blog for attention or fame of cash (if I was, I would have put a Google ad sense banner up long ago) but instead I wonder if this will be the only thing left to note my existence after I pass on. Now I’m not dying or anything but I do know that our time here is finite and I wonder if I should have the URL of this blog on my tombstone? Think about it, a blog is a reflection of one’s self and wouldn’t be interesting if you could read the thoughts of someone after they passed on. Actually I like it; I like this idea a lot. As long as Blogger doesn’t remove my blog for whatever reason, I want this URL on my grave stone. People paying their respects to their lost once in the future would walk by my grave and see the URL and end up learning about me. I’m going to do that.

My 2 bytes

Friday, October 15, 2004

NHL Strike Be Dammed, I'm going to enjoy some hockey

Alright good news people; the Calgary Flames have won their first game of the 2004-05 season against the Mighty Ducks 4-3 in Overtime. Now are you all confused or do you think I’m crazy?

Now I as I mentioned before, there is a lockout of the players in the NHL and there’s a good chance that the whole hockey season is going to be gone because the players association cannot see past their own selfish interests. Anyway what G4TechTV is doing this year is playing the whole hockey season virtually.

That’s right, this year people are catching their hockey through G4TechTV and EA’s NHL 2004. Now some people (including myself) would think that this is really weird and would wonder are some people so starved for hockey that they would settle for a Virtual Season? Well Iginla did get a goal in the first game.

Actually I think it’s a fun way to deal with the loss of the hockey season and we can still enjoy the fun and excitement of our favorite teams, even though they aren’t actually playing.

Oh and, G4TechTV isn’t the only ones doing this either. Eric Francis of the Calgary Sun is going the same thing but in his version of the first game, the Flames lost 2-1 and we lost Robyn Regehr and Shean Donovan due to injuries. I think I’ll stick with G4TechTV’s season instead.


My 2 bytes

Thursday, October 14, 2004

I'm Inspired by a dumb guy

Everyone gets inspiration from someone at least one time in their lives; it could be from a successful business man, a celebrity or someone who has overcome an amazing obstacle. Anyway I’m going to discuss a great communicator and a very successful man David Letterman.

Now people are wondering why him? He’s a late night talk show host, he acts goofy and he claims to be a dork, how is he a great communicator? This is the guy who reads a Top Ten List and has Stupid Pet Tricks on his show. Well I ask you if you ever watched him sit at the desk and talk, it doesn’t have to be with a guest, it could be with Paul or he’s just talking to the camera. He uses comedy as a tool to communicate and he does it so well.

I remember a few years ago he tried to get onto Oprah after this guy was told that he wasn’t going to be on the show for some reason or other. Anyway Dave used comedy as a means to communicate his point but asking to be on Oprah, and then starting the Oprah log, where every day he would ask his producer if the Oprah people called then he would write into his log ‘Oprah did not call’ (Do you think I said Oprah enough times in this paragraph). Well it turned into such a big thing that it was featured in TV guide and there were petitions to get Letterman on Oprah even though she resisted. (She finally agreed after little Harry was born and he chickened out, he came up with a story about gas in the studio that makes you cry). My point is that by using comedy, he was able to create a national stir.

Its examples like that that makes David Letterman the king of Late Night Even in the old NBC days, when he tried to give a fruit basket to the heads of GE and caused a huge commotion in the lobby of the GE Headquarters. He was using humor to make a point.

Now despite how he acts sometimes on the show, Letterman is not dumb. He owns a very successful production company, World Wide Pants which produces The Late Show, that crappy show after, Everybody Loves Raymond and its spin off The King of Queens as well as a few other projects. Now a dumb person could not create such a successful production company.

However it’s his ability to communicate at the desk when I think he’s at his best. Don’t bother with the monologue, (I don’t) and just listen to Dave at the desk. I think he’s great. As a few of you might have realized by now, I try to do the same thing, by using humor to make my point (though I could never be as good as Dave, the TV God) but one day perhaps. MMM perhaps I should rename my blog, World Wide Pants wannabe? Nope, I do this for myself and if people are entertained by my words then that is good enough THOUGH LEAVING A COMMENT WOULD BE NICE SO I DON'T FEEL LIKE I’M TALKING TO THE FRIGGN WALL. (To those who have left comments, thank you and disregard the outburst).

My 2 bytes

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Sometimes its easier to stay home and watch the hockey game

A few days ago I encountered a blog called The Sin Bin and it was being done by a group of four women (I hope they’re all women) and this blog seemed to focused on their sex lives and from this blog I found other blogs which centered around sex and from then I found more and more sex related sites.

Normally I don’t talk about sex because it’s never been a high priority for me (I’m a greedy bastard, not a horny bastard) but then something occurred to me. I really hit pay dirt here. Here are four opinionated women to can tell me what the hell I’m doing wrong.

As I stated before, I’m a single straight male and I know that my needs are simple. Our equipment is simple to use and there are no mysteries but I swear when it comes to women’s sexual organs, I need a diagram, a map, some arrows, a hint, a clue, SOMETHING!!!!

Actually there were links to some informative sites and I ended up book marking some of them since they could give me some ideas for the future because I know I’m twit when it comes to this sort of thing. The only thing that has prevented me from becoming a total failure is a feather duster (use your imagination, I did).

Why are women so different? I swear that’s why men turn gay; they can’t handle trying to please a woman because they are too complicated, they would rather deal with another man, its much earlier (actually I know this is wrong but sometimes I wonder).

Then again we must be just as difficult to understand. We males think in terms of facts instead of emotions and it must drive them crazy. As well, it seems to me that they don’t understand that we have needs and as well. This might be why women turn gay as well.

Actually now that I think about it, I decided that I like the brashness of these women. I prefer it when there is communication between a man and a woman, so that one knows what the other wants and likes and dislikes so its easier to give pleasure to each other as opposed to ‘fumbling around in the dark'(though that can be fun as well); though I’m still shy about talking about such things. It’s something I will have to get over if I end up in another relationship soon.

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Maybe coach isn't so bad.

OK I saw this and I had to share it. I thought it was funny as hell

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Monday, October 11, 2004

Listen to the Director dammit

I love DVD’s. I love the fact that they have so many features and tracks and different options, it’s far more superior than video cassettes. Anyway one thing I really enjoy is the director’s commentary and some of them are really good.

Now when people think about a directory’s commentary, they think about some dry, boring 2 hour lecture as the director talks about the symbolism of the film and that's wrong, I wouldn't sit and listen to someone talk about lighting and other crap like that for 2 hours and no one should have to unless it was on some exam they had to write.

I was watching Brother Bear with the commentary and I laughed my ass off (anyone who says they’re too old to watch Disney animated features should have the cucumber removed from their ass). What they did was get Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis to do it as their Tuke and Rutt characters (and they’re based on the classic McKenzie brothers). I love how they comment on how all the human characters are named after SUV’s and how the appearance of a squirrel is a sign of impending danger; though I don’t believe that they are correct when they said there was a squirrel in Top Gun. Claiming it was in the back seat of the plane just before Goose died. As well I don’t believe Rutt when he says that he was totally edited out of Blade Runner and I don't believe those totems the human characters wore came from a gift shop at the Vancouver and Calgary aiports(I loved the Calgary Reference, Its home, look at my profile). Either way, I recommend watching this movie for the commentary alone.

Resident Evil is a lot like this as well, but they stay more focused on the movie and the behinds the scenes, though it’s really nice of Michelle Rodriguez to tell us when there’s going to see Milla Jovovich nude or semi nude and it was nice to hear about Michelle’s leather bra.

Now I also find the more serious commentaries good as well. My favorite once will always be ‘The Sum of All Fears’ when they have Tom Clancy and the first thing he says is that “I wrote the book they totally ignored” and he spends the rest of the movie telling them where they screwed up. I loved that.

I have a large collection of DVD’s but I’ve yet to watch the commentary on them all, not that they all have a commentary but I enjoy them nonetheless. I still need to watch the commentary for my new Star Wars DVD’s (then again I haven’t watched them yet).

So whoever owns DVD’s (and that should be just about everyone, I recommend watching it with the director’s comments, sometimes they are really funny and some of them are interesting (unless they feature the set designer and the costume designer, stay away from them).

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Saturday, October 09, 2004

Were fighting back people and were going to win

What is it about some people who only think about themselves and are rude to everyone else? People who swear in public or talk on their cell phones during a movie? These people are so selfish and it’s about time we did something about it.

I read this awhile ago on The Smoking Gun but it’s still a favorite. This woman was in a movie theater, talking on a cell phone during the movie, annoying everyone around her. Well a staff member (who was also a police officer) asked her to put her phone away and then she and her boyfriend went off about how they could do whatever they wanted and her boyfriend threaten to kiss his ass. So the cop busted arrested them for 'disorderly conduct'. YES !!!!! I'm tired of stupid people (too bad we can't sterilize them as well so we can try to save the gene pool)

This was from CNN and I also love this. A woman was swearing into her cell phone and a police officer asked her repeatedly to stop wearing so loudly in public. Again we see the 'I can do whatever I want' attitude and once again the police arrest her. YES !!!! YES !!!! YES !!!! The woman was made to lie down while she was arrested though she was 5 months pregnant. Personally I don't care if she was with child or not, we have rules in society and if you are not able to function by those rules then you should pay the consequences.

I noticed that this trend started as soon as it became 'bad' to spank your kids for being bad. Now these children never learn discipline and now they turn into what we are seeing now, AND THE GENE POOL IS BEING PEE'D IN AS A RESULT. This is what happened when a bunch of tree hugging Gaia loving, out of touch, wackos try to tell everyone else how to live their lives.

I'm going to explain my Gene Pool peeing theory. This is what is happening today. People who work hard on their education and their professional lives are holding back on having families or are not having them at all. On the other side, we have these trashy lazy people who discover that they can get some extra money on their welfare checks if they have another kid, so now we have all these dumb rude children being raised by dumb rude single moms (the dads lack any sense of responsibility and take off) as a result, we see more dumb kids and less smart kids because the dumb people are passing their genes more and more and the smart people less and less because they have enough sense to decide when it would be the right time to have children. End result, the whole gene poll is dominated by dumb lazy DNA.

Now we need to fight back people and I have a plan though it's controversial. We create something called the 'Stupid Police' and we send them out and if they find a gene pool polluter then we get them 'fixed' so they can have irresponsible sex all they want and society will not have to raise the little monsters. I know that forced sterilization is a bad thing but I can't think of any other option, they can't be trusted to have safe sex, and I fear the collapse of society because of these dumb people. Again I find myself balancing the rights of the individual vs. the common good, but I really hate stupid, selfish rude people. (Maybe we can start by neutering the cab driver who stole my cell phone.

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Martha's in the Big House

Today Martha Stewart starts her 5 month prison sentence. Is it just me or does this scream reality TV? If people watch those two ditsy blonds Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie do whatever crap they did in the 2 seasons of "The Simple Life" then watching Martha's adventures in "THE BIG HOUSE" would be a ratings bonanza. It would put "The Apprentice" to shame.

(On a side note, Pamela should not have been fired this week; it should have been Stacy R. She not capable of doing anything other than yakking. At least Pamela finally got them to work together as a team without stabbing each other in the back every few minutes. Any male who ends up in that group will be destroyed by all the in fighting, just like what happened to Pamela, Actually I think Raj would be interesting, he has this 'Howard Cosell' thing and that might just save him)

Anyway back to the main subject, we call the show Big House and we follow Martha as she tries to survive behind bars. Does she join a gang? Does she have enemies waiting for her inside? Do they have her working in the kitchen making lovely centerpieces for all the tables? The possibilities are endless. There hasn't been this great a possibility in a reality show since The Osbournes.

Now I know she's going to minimum security and its not going to be anything like OZ but still, this woman is used to having her way and being served on in hand and foot and now she's going to have to get off her ass and do it herself. This alone would be interesting to see and if the show becomes successful, she can hold up a 7/11 and get placed in a rougher place for the second season.

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Friday, October 08, 2004

Sometimes being Canadian means that you get no respect

Imagine if you had just purchased a used car from a trusted friend and on the way home, something happens to the engine that causes an accident and as a result, one the passengers in your car dies and after you find out that the car has a history of problems. Well that happened to the Canadian Navy and now a Canadian sailor is dead as a result of it Canada decided to purchase 4 used subs from the British Navy and we can't even get the thing home before all hell breaks loose and now Lieut. Chris Saunders is dead while taking Canada's new (used) Submarine home for the first time.

Now I'm not to assign blame because many other people who know more about the facts have already done that and blaming someone after the fact won't bring Lieut. Saunders back from the dead. I would like to speak of this trend of Canadian solders dying for stupid reasons. I want to talk about the Canadian solders, who were training in Afghanistan only to have an U.S. F-16 drop bombs on them. I also want to talk about Canadian sailors dying because they are using obsolete equipment like our aging Sea King Helicopter fleet.

Again I hear that a lot of people from around the world like Canadians but I have to ask if our military is being taken seriously? How are we suppose to be taken seriously when we buy a used submarine that breaks down the first time they try and take it home (and apparently the 3 other submarines are having problems as well), How can we be taken seriously when the people who operate our rescue vehicles need to be rescued because the equipment is so old and decrepit. How can we be taken seriously when the first time Canadian troops hit the ground in Afghanistan, they come out in their green fatigues because they were never issued desert fatigues. (Yeah green is perfect for hiding in the lush forests of Afghanistan). Our solders were given desert coloured duct tape and were told to cover their uniforms with that. Luckily most (if not all) of our troops were able to barter with the U.S. forces to get at least one pair of clothes that wouldn't get them killed by standing out like a tree in a desert.

Alright I lied, I'm going to assign blame, but not blame for just the sub incident but for all the woes the Canadian Armed Forces has experienced in the last 10 years. It’s the Jackass's fault Jean Chrétien (Cretin). It all started in the early 90's when the Liberals took power and killed the deal to replace the aging Sea King fleet and the new Submarine deal that the Canadian Navy was pursuing with the final 2 bidders for NEW BRITISH SUBS or NEW AMERICAN SUBS (I wonder if that deal has gone through would Lieut. Chris Saunders be alive today?). Over the following 10 years over 100 people have died as a direct result of those old helicopters and these things need 30 hours of maintenance for 1 hour of flight but Chrétien killed the deal saying they were too expensive. Yeah having state of the art technology for our Navy sounds like a bad idea to me as well; wouldn't want our Navy to be effective. (and this was the only election promise that friggin weasel ever kept). So I lay blame on this mess on the Honorable Jean Chrétien but he's so out of touch with reality that he probably wouldn't care. I also feel sorry for our new Prime Minister Paul Martin to deal with his predecessors mess. Actually I almost feel sorry for him; he was there when this was going on and he kept the party line.

It now has come to the point that we are unable to continue all our efforts as U.N. peace keepers and we needed help from the Americans in order to get our equipment to Afghanistan in a quick manor. As well, Canada had to get a private company to transport our equipment back and we couldn't pay the bill !!! The Canadian Navy had to go into international waters and seize the ship because the company was planning to keep the stuff because we couldn't pay the bill. This is an embarrassment.

Anyway I hope and pray that our new Prime Minister will address these problems and fix our decrepit military so people don't snicker anymore when someone mentions the Canadian Military

My 2 Cents

Thursday, October 07, 2004

One of the reasons that people blog

I spent a good part of the day wondering what I was going to write about on my blog today. I looked at different news sites and I found some potential topics but nothing that said, "This is it". Then I checked my Gmail account and I got this e-mail and after reading it, I knew I had my topic for today.

In a previous post I spoke about someone who put something so personal on their blog that I felt uncomfortable reading it. Anyway, she left a comment on my blog and then I felt a need to e-mail her and she e-mailed me back and the contents of the e-mail confirmed what I thought before. This person is extremely smart and confident and I feel privileged that I had an opportunity to exchange words with her.

Again I choose not to say what the post said, and I also will not reveal the specifics of the e-mail she sent me but I’m going to say this. See has told me that my reactions was not an isolated incident and others have commented on what she said and they said it was "too personal", though after some soul searching, she decided that she's ok with the contents of that post and she had decided to leave it up.

Anyway now I have a even greater respect for vics and I will continue to read her blog(not that I ever planned to stop, I enjoy her blog to the point that soon I'm going rip off one of her ideas, but I always cite my sources so she will get credit). You think that I respect for saying something personal on her blog? No, I respect her for the message she was sending when she wrote this post What I think is that it that everyone (including me) was so concerned about the content of the post that people failed to grasp the meaning but now after my initial reaction, I can say that I understand what she wanted to say and I agree with her 100%. I applaud her in making her point in this manor and if she ever need someone to stand by her side in defending that point, she can call on me and I will do without hesitation.

So now I feel a lot better about changing my links so people can find her blog. I’ll be doing so on Monday since that’s when I’m have time to play around with things. I do know my html but I’m not the Jedi Knight of web development (I have the Star Wars box set calling my name so excuse the reference, and I just discovered that Jedi is in the Microsoft Word Spell Check).

One last thing, to people who’s blog, I have links to currently. If you haven’t updated your blog in the past 2 weeks, then I’m dropping you. There are people who work too hard on their blogs not to be noticed.

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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Why won't she go away ???

Yesterday I went to a bank machine to get some cash to take care of everyday living. People need money to live right? Anyway a couple of twenties come out and I noticed that they are the new bills that were just issued by the Bank of Canada last Friday so this was my first chance to get a look at them. I held the back and saw some totems, which are part of the native culture in B.C. (British Columbia) and then I turned and looked at the front and I saw her. “Why the hell is the Queen still on the 20?”

Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with her specifically (actually I do but I’m not going to go into it) but wouldn’t it be a novel idea to have a picture of a CANADIAN on the bill instead of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II? Instead I have to look at this woman who’s not even Canadian. She has her face of the back of all our coins so why give someone else a chance or perhaps we should other world figures on out money, like Gandhi on the 50 and George Washington on the 10 and Chairman Mao on the 100. I want Canadians on our money, but the Queen can stay on the back of our coins. Since were part of the Commonwealth, she has to be somewhere, but not the 20 dollar bill.

Then I started to think about who would replace her. There have been many great Canadian over the 137 Years of Confederation and even before that when Canada was still British North America. My mind drew a blank so I asked about a bit and I got some interesting answers, I don’t know if they were talking me seriously but I took note anyway. I heard ideas like Lanny MacDonald, Wayne Gretzky, Don Cherry Guy LaFleur but someone hockey icons didn’t seem right. I also heard John Candy, Keanu Reeves, William Shatner and Alex Trebek but Canadian Entertainers didn’t seem right either. Then I thought of political figures from the past like Pierre Trudeau, John Diefenbaker or Jean Chrétien (I nearly smacked the guy who said that) but while Trudeau did seem somewhat of a good idea, people still haven’t forgiven the man for the National Energy Program which almost completely destroyed the economy, here in Alberta.

Anyway nothing seemed right and I started to think, perhaps the Queen should stay on the 20 dollar bill but I knew she didn’t belong there anymore. I would have preferred René Lévesque, the founded of the Parti Quebecois, a political party whose goal is to see Quebec separate from the rest of Canada and become its own nation, than the Queen. I also thought it would be cool to have the band Rush , or Kim Mitchell or Nickleback but I knew it was wrong.

Anyway I the spoke to someone who had a good idea. She said how about an original Canadian. A traditional native to symbolize an important part of our heritage and I thought it was perfect, but it was too late, the Queen was there and she wasn’t going away so now I have to put up with it. Even though she’s not a Canadian but if I want to see something truly Canadian on our money, I just need to look at the back of our 5 dollar bill.

Children playing hockey outside in the winter; that has meaning to every Canadian. That's a an image all Canadians know.

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Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Some people just don't get it.

Remember a little while ago I talked about good an bad blogs? Well yesterday I encountered this blog with a single post and I couldn't believe what I was reading. This guy was going on about how blogs were a waste of time and there was not money and yada yada yada. This guy just doesn't get it. He even made a comment on how he didn't expect to hear from anyone in regards to his blog. I was really disappointed with it.

Anyway I ended up posting a comment (I was the second person to do this actually) about how I was disappointed that he didn't understand. Actually It would be decent if more people posted on his blog and perhaps he will get it and he would understand that his words are just as important as everyone elses Here's the link. Please help me get through to this guy about the real reason we blog.

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Sunday, October 03, 2004

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the next President of the United States

With the election in the U.S now only weeks away and race getting more intense, I wonder what ever happened to the Meadow Party's Candidate Bill the Cat. While most people are wondering what the hell I am talking about, I'm sure there are some Bloom County fans somewhere. (I think Hugh is, this post was inspired by a pic of Bill he put on his blog) Anyway every time during an election they would have Bill run for president but he never got any votes, though I hear he was a close third after Walter Mondale in the 84 election.

Well the deal with Bill was that he rarely spoke, he would just gag and cough up hair balls but this never stops him from being a communist, a lead tongue for a heavy metal band and a televangelist, and a presidential candidate. That's how crazy this comic strip was. In fact the strip ended when Donald Trump (whose brain was transplanted into Bill's body) bought the strip and renamed it Trump the comic strip. (Actually he changed it into something called Outland and brought in a bunch of new characters, Opus and Bill were the only ones to stay).

Anyway it has been years since Bloom County has been in newspapers but now you can read the old strips at but you have to pay (I'm not linking to a pay site). Anyway after looking at what is going on with this current election south of the border, I wonder what it would have been like if Bill had been in the debate last Thursday (because of that debate, I had to wait till Saturday to watch The Apprentice, whoever decided to schedule the debate then, should be fired. Come on Mr. Trump, fire them).

Anyway I can picture the questions and his response. I think it would have gone something like this.

Question : How would you improve homeland security?

Bill: ACK ACK ACK !!!!

Question: When will the war in Iraq end?


Question : Why not send troops to Sudan?

Bill: Ththbbthttbt!!!

Question: What is the most serious threat to national security?

Bill: BANG !!! THUD!!! (Bill smacking his head on podium and passing out)

Anyway I honestly think were missing out on something big. Personally I hope that Bloom County the Next Generation will appear on newspapers one day but until then, all we have are memories of OOP ACKK!!

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Saturday, October 02, 2004

Sometime, I feel humbled by other people's blog

There are times when I'm really pleased with the writings of my blog, how its entertaining and yet it shows the trials of my life. I usually pat myself on the back and talk to my friends and get new ideas, then they're other times when I feel that my words are nothing more than a waste of space.

As a blogger, I also read other people's blogs. Some blogs I've only visited once and then there are others that I visit on a regular occasion and I always enjoy reading what they have to say.

Lately though I found a blog from a woman who lives in Iraq and she talks about her daily life under the changes that are going on. I'm starting to read it more often now and I find it interesting.

As well, there's another blog that I visit regularly, and she has left a comment or two on my blog as well. Anyway a few days ago, I read her blog entry and I felt that I didn't have the right to read what I was reading. It felt like she was revealing her soul to the world and I just felt that I wasn't close enough to her to be allowed to read her confessions (Actually were not close at all, we just frequent each others blogs). Originally I had planned to redo the links on my blogs and add a link to her blog, but I don't feel comfortable doing that after that post. Its one thing to read something that came from someone's soul but its another to stand up and point the way so everyone can read it. I won't do that.

There a few other blogs that I'm impressed with and I leave posts when I can. There was one thing that another blogger was doing that I left a comment that I was going to steal his idea (Don't worry I will site my sources when I 'borrow' ideas from other blogs Hugh)

So as I read these blogs I feel that my blog is like Gilligan's Island as opposed to these other blogs which are more like Law & Order or 60 Minutes.

Now I don't feel my blog is bad at all. I've also found blogs and I wonder, what the heck is going on, and I found one where all this guy goes is slam the people he knows. While my blog might be Gilligan's Island, but at least its not the Weekly World News.

Again, I am planing to rework the links and split them into two parts but I've decided to wait another week unless vics plans to reveal her soul again, then it will have to wait another week.

While sometimes I do get a little more serious with my observations and try to take the high road, most of the time, I got for the laughs (and most of the time, I fail). I guess I want my blog to be like the 'Will it float' segment on Letterman, educational and entertaining. MMM I wonder if a block of cheese will float? I'll go find out.

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