I'm not doing it

When I say I'm not going to do something, I mean it. Now your wondering what brought this on? Well here goes. My sister is getting married next summer and apparently there's some lame ass tradition in that part of the country where the oldest male child (that would be me) has to dance with his sister, (the bride) in some stupid pair of socks while people throw money. Well I'm not doing it.

First of all, it's stupid. My mother said that someone else (who I will not name) did it, at his sister's wedding. Well guess what? I'm not him and I'M STILL NOT DOING IT. My mom says it's a local tradition but I'm not from there, this small French Canadian town near the Quebec border, called Sturgeon Falls. Guess What. I'm not really from there. I was born in southern Ontario and spent some of my early years there and then in a small town in north western Ontario named Long Lac. Then when I was 7, I moved out to Alberta and spent 10 years of my life there before I ended up moving back just before I graduated from high school. I'm Albertan, not an Ontarian.

Actually I didn't go back willingly. I was kidnapped and forced to go back kicking and screaming, and to a point, I still haven't completely forgiven them for that. I wanted to stay in Alberta but no…. I had to go and live in that backwater French town for my last year of high school. You know what kind of hell I went through being the "new" guy in a small town high school where everyone knew everyone else from grade 1? It was the loneliest year of my life. I had one friend; ONE FRIGGIN friend that whole year. Oh and to make matters worse, the stupid asses of the Ontario School system decided that I was 3 credits short to graduate from high school that year even though I was ahead of everyone. Their grade 12 math was my grade 11. I was a year ahead in almost every course and they said I was 3 credits short to graduate! ! ! BULLSHIT! ! . I wasted half a year taking bullshit courses to qualify to graduate.

So like I said, I grew up in Alberta, not small town Ontario so I feel no attachment to the area or the local traditions. I barely know any of my relatives, outside of my immediate family. I had very little exposure to them, and that includes my grandparents since I lived thousands of kilometers away from everyone and now I'm suppose to honor these traditions? I'm the only one in my family who doesn't speak French. I forgot my French by grade 3 or 4 since I never used it. My brother and sister learned French since THEY grew up in Sturgeon Falls, but I didn't. Oh another hint. I CAME BACK TO ALBERTA PEOPLE. THIS IS MY HOME ! ! !

Anyway, I think I finally managed to get my mother to understand that I'm not doing it. I hate dancing. I feel like a total twit doing it and I don't want to be stared at by lots of people I barely know and a bunch of people I've never met. Have I mentioned I haven't even met my future brother in law. I know his name is Gus and he prefers to speak French, but other than that? I know next to nothing about him or his family. I'm not going to perform like some side show freak for his half of the family. Again, they could be really nice people and good sports, but since I've never met any of them, I have no way of knowing, but I'M STILL NOT DOING IT. UNDERSTAND! ! !

My 2 bytes.