Sunday, December 30, 2007

Yearly Round Up, Part 3

Ok now here’s part three of the review.

July

I remember hearing about a company that was adding pictures of pornography to their boxes of pizza, thus the name Porno Pizza. Of course there were cries of “the children” even though it was delivery only and you had to be 18 to order. Personally I don’t see a problem with having a little smut with my pizza.

Then I introduced everyone to the HR Lady (who still checked the blog out off and on). I told everyone that she was looking out for me and trying to set me up with someone. As late as last month, she’s been trying to do this, with a nice person in the warehouse. Again, she’s a nice person, but I want a slut. (I’m kidding). HR Lady was also nice to make herself know in the comments.

Then at the end of the month, I went off about the damn beret wearing, pony tailed (you know what’s under a pony’s tail) Jackass I saw of the C-Train, I never said a word to the guy but his existence just pissed me off. I just wanted to beat him within an inch of his life, because at that point in time, he represented sexual intellectuals everywhere. He was a fucking know it all”.

August

I recently confessed about have the power to make people GET IN MY WAY, I remembered how people always feel the need to block me from having access to whatever I’m trying to get at. There could be one other person in a store and they will always be blocking me, but know I know the truth, there’s a conspiracy. It’s like the Truman Show, everyone around me are actors, and they follow me everywhere and videotape my reaction to people blocking my way.

Then there was news that the Chinese government had banned reincarnation without government approval. Who were these assholes trying to fool? Like they had the power to dictate laws from beyond the grave? This was a thousands times worse than when they started to create new laws for Hong Kong before the colony reverted back to Chinese rule. At least a court overturned those laws.

Even now I still loved it when that Dateline NBC reporter got PWNED at DEFCON, when she tried to do a “hidden camera” story about hackers doing “something illegal” with a government agent present. She failed to understand that DEFCON is a hacker convention, and not all hackers are illegal. Some of them are perfectly willing to share their knowledge with law enforcement for use in hunting down people like child predators and “terrorists”, and that’s a good thing, but this reporter didn’t see that and only cared about her fucking story. I’m glad she was pwned.

September

We’ll start the fall off with the “US Americans” who can’t find the US on a world map because they can’t afford maps. My first reaction was to have this woman’s ovaries removed, that way she could no reproduce. Again, this was all part of my peeing in the gene pool theory. We have to stop the stupid people from breeding, and this cute but DUMB person must be stopped. I’m sure that next year there will be an entrance exam to the Mr. South Carolina beauty contest, and anyone using the term, US Americans will be beaten with a crowbar.

Then there was the vibrating accessory to the IPod. I was never sure that if it was a steady vibration, or if it acted like a woofer and gave you a “more interesting experience” with music with loud base. I never did see part 2 of the video because I wouldn’t pay, but I still wish I could see it. So this Christmas no one got an Ipod and a Ohmibod attachment from me.

Of course there was a naughty product for men as well, there was (drumroll plz) WONDERCUM. Now who the hell though that this would be a good name for a product? With a name like that, you’re not going to end up on Wal-mart shelves, but consider what this product is suppose to do, I’m pretty sure your not going to end up there anyway. I mean, a vitamin for increase the amount of ….um you know… a guy shoots? EWWW.

That’s it for part 3. Part 4 will be available tomorrow.

My 2 Bytes.

No comments: