No Friggin respect.

Someone posted a spam comment on the blog post talking about my dad dying. Some people have no shame. It's seriously disgusting.

My 2 bytes

I have to go home.

My father passed away earlier this week. I feel horrible. I've been able to keep it out of my mind most of the time, but today I have to face reality head on. I'm not looking forward to it.

After my last blog post, I took a look at how many airmiles I had saved and it turns out that I had enough for one more flight, so I booked it. I could only get a flight to Toronto. My sister-in-law has to pick me up at the airport before we endure a 4 hour drive with my nephews.

The whole idea of being an uncle has always seemed foreign to me. I guess that's the advantage of living thousands of kilometers away from family. Isolating myself over the going ons of family. Over the years I've heard about things going on back home. People getting married, people splitting up, people having kids, and people dying. I've always been able to take that information and file it under whatever, but not this time. This time reality is bitch slapping me in the face. I'm not sure how I'm going to hold out.

If you're wondering why I'm not writing about my dad, it's quite simple. I'm in a public place and I don't want to break down and start sobbing in an airport terminal. Whenever I think about him, after a few minutes later the reality sinks in

GAWD DAMMIT ENOUGH OF THE DAMN PAGES AT THE AIRPORT THEY WON'T STOP AND ITS TOO LOUD.

I'm having a hard enough time writing this without hearing the 15th page for passenger Davis that he need to board his plane to Vancouver.

I'm not looking forward to facing the reality about this. I want to honor him in my blog, but I can't do it. Not now, not here in the terminal of an airport. I don't want strangers see me cry, though I doubt that would happen with the constant pages.

One thing I can say is, while I didn't agree with everything he said, and I do/did...have some dad issues, I still loved him, and he will be missed. I will miss him. I love you dad.

My 2 bytes

I don't know.

I'm conflicted right now. I got some really bad news last night. It appears that my father's time in this world is coming to an end. They're measuring his time in weeks, and they're using prime numbers.

I have to get home, but my brief stint at unemployment has decimated my savings. I can't afford to fly home. I'm worried that if I take time off I won't have enough money to pay my rent. My sister is offering to cover my flight, but still...I'm ashamed of myself.

I should be with my family right now, but instead I'm thousands of kilometers away feeling ashamed of myself. I'm not where I should be. I think that it' time to reconsider moving back east to be closer to my family. Then I'll be closer to my family. Then again, I can't afford to move anywhere right now. Everything costs money and I don't have any of it. I just started putting money away again, and it's not going to cover a flight back east. I've only been working for a month. The good news is that there will still be a job waiting for me when I get back. The boss assured me of that when I spoke to her about it. She was very supportive.

Right now I'm still in denial over the whole thing, but then again, I've been in denial about the whole cancer thing. I never mentioned it because I was so far away, I could forget it. I can't do that anymore. I've been ignoring a few things lately, hoping they go away, but they never do.

...

I don't know anymore.

My 2 Bytes

Yes, I'm being vague, and all over the place.

Well....I got nothing...that I can talk about right now. Certain people might be reading my stuff, and I don't want to take any chances.

I realize that it's going to take awhile to bring everyone back, and certain other people who were my regulars also seemed to have blog faded.

I had some personal crap last Thursday, and Friday, which is why I didn't blog, but I'm here again.

Something is suppose to happen today, but I now have the feeling that it's not going to happen, and I've yet to receive ANY feedback from this person. Well because of this, I'm continuing to loose faith in that person, and it's making a possible choice even easier.

I need to wear the smaller sized pants that I own. I put on the ones that are a size higher, and they make my ass look huge. I know I have a fat guy ass, but there are things I can do to minimize the "IT'S COMING RIGHT AT US, RUN" effect it can have with people, and wearing the larger sized pants is a no no.

I've changed the title of this blog post 4 times so far. I can't make up my mind what ti call this drivel. It's definitely a yadda yadda, but I'm not going to call it that.

With all the talk of 3DTV, when will 3D porn be appearing. I'm not sure I like the idea of having to duck at the end of the movie.

If some things work out the way I'd like them too, I might still be able to go to London this year, but things, don't work out perfectly with me often.

I predict that I'll be buying a Star Wars Bluray box set when it comes out in late 2011. I've bought these movies 3 times so far. I'm really stupid. Then again, I've bought Lord of the Rings, twice, and the Star Trek movies twice as well. I can see myself buying the Star Trek movies a third time.

I still need to win the lottery, so life can be my bitch for a change.

My 2 bytes.

I'm going somehwere tonight.

Last night I learned about a information seminar to be held today for getting my MBA at the local university. I know I can do the classes at night, and I don't plan on going for a few years. I refuse to do the student loan thing again, so I won't be starting this process for a at least 2-3 years, but I will do it, because when I set my mind to something I do it. It just takes time. Even the book is taking longer than expected, but I am working on it.

I'm working in a place where you see a lot of smart people and people in big offices, and right now I work in a dark hole where there's no sunlight. Then again, IT people aren't suppose to like sunlight.

Bottom line, I'm going as far as I would like to, in this position. I want more in life. Is that wrong?

So tonight I'm going to spend 2 hours in some meeting room at the Chamber of Commerce meeting some people, and listening to some crap about whatever. I'm not sure if I'll enjoy it, but it's definitely stuff I need to know.

Other than that....I got nothing.

My 2 Bytes.