This is twisted

Combining things together is nothing new. For years, we’ve seen this done with many products, from clock radios to camera phones. Slapping things together has always seemed like a great idea, but I want to meet the moron who thought that it would be a good idea to combine a vibrator and a shaver together.

I understand what this person was thinking…sort of. Both devices vibrate in order to accomplish their purpose. The shaver vibrates the blades in order the give a person a close shave. The vibrator vibrates to give the user a ….you know. WHO THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA?

All right, perhaps a “lady” needs to “trim the bushes”, and after decides that she needs to relieve a little stress. I can see someone (a guy), thinking that this could be a good idea, but men and women don’t think the same. Women don’t feel the need to hump someone’s leg. Men on the other hand…. well there was the guy with the park bench.

Right now there’s a guy who thinking of buying this for his “significant other”, and after she gives it to her, she’s going to kick his ass.

What really concerns me is what happens if someone forgets to put on the cover? That could lead to a life altering injury. This could be how nuns are made. There are countries where nasty stuff like that happen, and people are trying to put a stop to it, and now someone wants to bring those types of injuries here? This is really dumb.

My 2 Bytes

Who thought of this?

Has this ever happened to you? You’ve met someone, things are going well. You’re in the process of treating your lady companion to some cunnilingus and it’s not going so well, because you have to keep to coming up for air, and because of this, she’s get frustrated because she’s “so close” and thinks you’re being a pain. All the while you’re gasping for breath. Let’s face it, in today’s modern world, not being able to bring a woman to orgasm an attack on your manhood. You need to be able to prove that you can do, the job and do it right. So what do you do to help with the breathing problem? That’s where the Pussy Snorkel comes in. Put this device on and you’ll be able to lick all day and still be able to breath, and she’ll than you for it.

Now seriously, I want to know who invented this thing. Also what I want to know is why does the picture show a woman wearing the thing? Is that the lesbian model? Why does she have her tongue sticking out? Is she planning to do a demonstration?

I know that cunnilingus is serious busy and nothing pisses a woman off more than a guy who doesn’t know what the hell they are doing. Oh and guys, don’t think that watching pornos will educate you on what to do. My advice…READ A DAMN BOOK. You’d be surprised on what you learn, and guess what; most of those books are written by women, and I’d rather get an informed opinion on the subject as opposed to getting my ideas from wanking material.

I’ll be honest, I would feel a little silly wearing this thing, never mind what the woman would thing. It would be like she was getting “eaten out” by a super villain or something. I’ve never tried the thing, but I prefer to breath out of my mouth as opposed to my nose. Also, let’s be honest, during these session, there’s a lot of excitement by both parties, and I seriously doubt that this thing can supply enough oxygen for the wearer and nothing would be more embarrassing that having the “licker” pass out with their faces in the “lickees” Hoo Hoo.

Maybe I’m just not taking that task as seriously as I should be.

My 2 bytes

I'm really stretching here

I remember, as a kid, watching this show called Ray Bradbury Chronicles, and in the introduction he would go on how all he had to do to get an idea to write about was look around his office, and an object would give him inspiration. What a load of crap!!! Don’t get me wrong, I think Ray Bradbury is a great author, but getting an idea by simply looking around his office? Well he did have a lot of crap in there. I say this because once again I’m lacking inspiration.

After looking at my cubicle, I’ve decided that “this is bullshit”. Then I realized that cubicles are meant to be devoid of any form of character. All that is there is my work space is my PC, a phone, some papers, and junk. Oh and my toy helicopter, but the skids on the thing are broken, and management keeps stealing it to play with.

So I take a walk through the warehouse and walk in the aisle where they keep the chocolate bars; different brands like Areo, Smartest, Big Turk, and many others. While I do like chocolate, I can only take it in small doses. Then I walk into a different aisle where they store the condoms. Once again, different types, and different names, and then I thought, what if the people who named the condoms switched jobs with the people who named the chocolate bars? Once again, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a twisted puppy.

So here’s the nasty list I came up with.

Coffee Crisp (which is a light snack).

Eatmore (nuff said)

Big Turk

Hershey Kisses.

Mirage.

Oh Henry!

Rolo.

Snickers.

Starburst

Sweet Marie

Wunderbar

See this is further proof that Ray Bradbury is full of crap.

My 2 Bytes