Sunday, May 15, 2005

The truth about guys

I'm going to let all the women out there know some dirty truths about men. It has to be said because I'm tired of seeing women disappointed over their "others" when they get to know the "real guy"

First thing. ALL MEN LOVE PORN. If you ask a man, all technology was designed for the distribution of pornography. The printing press was for the publishing of porn. The still camera was created to take pictures of naked women. The Internet was designed for the fast, effective distribution of PORN. Even gay men like porn. That's why they have gay porn.

Men hate dancing. Let me rephrase that. Straight men hate dancing. If a man tells his girlfriend/wife/date that he likes dancing, then it means that he's either LYING or GAY. Oh and if he's claims that he's not lying and that he's not gay, then he's lying to himself about being gay. Men always feel like idiots on the dance floor. That's why we hate dancing. The best a man will do is shuffle his feel and grab your butt.

Men can't help but check other women out. It's wired into our brains. That is why a man will wear dark sunglasses, in order to disguise the fact that he's checking out other women. We also train hard not to stop in mid sentence while doing this. We know that this is a dead giveaway.

Men fear farting in from of women. We try to act dignified and not gross women out but the truth of the matter is we fart and we take pride in our farts. There's nothing funnier than ripping one by your friends and taking off. The 'silent by deadly' ones are a hoot. So if a man gets a funny look on his face. He's trying to hold in a fart and will soon excuse himself.

Anyway I've done a great disservice to my gender but I hope that all women will one day understand that all men are horny perverts to take pressure in their 'under leg noises'

My 2 bytes.

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