I'm going home.

I'm going home for Thanksgiving, and I'm really looking forward to going. I haven't been home for years, lots of years. Now I'm probably confusing some people right now, since I spent Christmas with my family, and was back east for my brothers wedding, and my fathers funeral. There's a simple explanation for this. While my family is from and still lives in Ontario, I've never considered it home. I grew up in Fort McMurray Alberta. From grades 2 to 11. I consider Fort McMurray home. Like I said before. I haven't been there for a long time. Far longer than I care to admit, but I feel far more attachment to this place than anywhere in Ontario. So my mother will be up visiting long lost friend for 3 weeks in the fall, those 3 weeks will include Thanksgiving weekend, so I'm going up. I'm going home.

It's weird that I'm the only person in my family that feels this kind of attachment towards Fort McMurray. My sister is going back in July for a few weeks, and my brother was born in Fort McMurray, but I'm the only one who feels a real connection. Sure my mom is talking about finding our old house, and I plan on doing that myself, but she doesn't feel like it's going home. It's not her home. It's my home.

When we moved back east, I did not take it well. In fact I made my parents life a living hell. I look back at how I acted soon after moving back east to Sturgeon Falls Ontario, and I realized that those days were not my proudest moments. However they failed to understand that they took me away from my home and brought me to a town that to this day that I don't like. Now my parents understand that I feel no attachment to that town, but back then...I was an asshole, and admit it, but to defend my actions. They took me away from my home one year before I graduated high school, As a result, someone screwed up my school transcripts and I had to do an extra semester of high school, I ended up going to school in some stupid Northern Ontario community college. Life did not go the way I wanted it to. For the record, I do not blame my parents for things not going the way I wanted them to. I blame Sturgeon Falls, Ontario. I also blame myself for listening to my parents.

Fort Mac is an extremely expensive place to live these days, but it's still home. I still want to go there. I want to relive my childhood, by visiting my old schools, my old Elementary, Jr High and High School. I want to see my old house, I want to see the bank where my mom used to work as a Loans Officer, I want to see Syncrude, where my dad worked. I want to see the Oil Barons play hockey again....I want to go back in time and relive the good parts of growing up. That's what happens when you go home. Back to Fort McMurray.

My 2 Bytes

Rescue Me is BACK

I remember when I loved TV. I thought there were many great shows as a kid. Needless to say, I was a dumb kid. I look through the channel guide on my PVR/STB and I usually come to the same conclusion. There's a log of crap out there. Recently I went on a rant about the canceling of one of my favorite shows, but now I can hold my head up high at the return on another of my favorite tv shows. RESCUE Me IS back.

It's been a long while since we left Tommy (Denis Leary) on the floor of the bar with a bullet hole in his chest, while all friends were forced by gunpoint to watch him bleed to death. I'm really looking forward to seeing the beginning of the new season.

I'm not going to tell you about the show because you should already be watching it. I own the first four seasons on DVD, and I still need to buy season 5, but I know season 6 is going to be great. I know that once again, there will be stories within stories about Tommy Gavin, his family, and fellow firefighters at house 62.

The one thing that pains me, is that I know that this show will soon end. I've heard that they're timing the final season to end with the 10th anniversary of 9/11. Which sort of makes sense, since 9/11 is always hanging in the background on the show. Tommy, was at 9/11. His cousin, (who he still sees now and then) died in 9/11. Even the beginning of the first episode takes about the firefighters who died in 9/11. It's only fitting that the last episode honors the 10th anniversary of this horrible incident in history.

Again, if you've never seen the show, I highly recommend that you rent the box sets and watch them.

YAAAA Rescue Me is back.

Oh yeah, so is Futurama. but it's not as good as Rescue Me.

My 2 Bytes

They've chained me again

The current job has done something horrible to me. I feel so ashamed, so defeated, so humilated. They issued me a Blackberry. CRAP.

I really don't like the idea of work being able to get a hold of me from ANYWHERE. Well I can see their point of view. I actually work in two buildings, so sometimes I can hard to get in contact with, you I just feel like a collar has been placed around me. Bleech,

I remember when I was proud to have a company phone. I was ticked that it wasn't a Blackberry, but as I grew wiser, I realized what was really going on. It's a way of being in contact all the time. Yuck. Well I got news for you. I'm not answering that phone at 3:00am....unless I'm on call.


Yes, they own me now, but sometimes selling out is a means to getting what you want.

My 2 Bytes.

I officially find the World Cup boring.

I've been hearing about the World Cup from lots of people, but it's not something that I've taken much interest in. The most I have done was send a congratulation to a Portuguese friend about the Portugal/North Korea blowout. Saying that, last night I started to watch the Spain/Honduras game. I was not impressed.

I was trying to get into the spirit, but I really wasn't into it, but I started making my own commentary, since I was getting bored with the English guy calling the game. Well making my own commentary isn't really the best way to describe it. What I started doing was saying over and over again, "Look at me, I kick the ball", in different accents. It didn't matter who had the ball, it was a different accent, from Jamaican, to French, to Russian, to whatever. I can't decide if it was racist, since I didn't focus on one ethnic group, and all I was saying over and over was "Look at me, I kick the ball.

Bottom line, I don't get it. I don't get how this sport is the most popular sport in the world. YAAAWWNN. All people do is run about, kick a ball. Every once in a while, someone will fall, scream and hold their knee for 5 minutes, and that's it. BORING.

I see it as a innocent game. Something that kids will play in a schoolyard. Not something to be watched by millions, on TV around the world. It;s people kicking a ball and running about. The only thing that would interesting would be if the South American announcer would have been calling the game. The guy who says GOOOOOAAAAALLLLL, That guy would be cool, but instead hear some Brit showing us that he has a bigger vocabulary than I do. SCREW THAT. I'm not jealous of him or anything like that, but seriously.

That might be a problem. Some people might be taking this game too seriously. There's this guy in South Africa who was killed by his own family for watching the World Cup, Apparently everyone else in the family wanted to watch some Gospel show, he disagreed so they killed him. While, there was no comment from God, I'm pretty sure he disapproved.

Also, North Korean television aired the game live, only to cut the feed after their team was loosing by 4 goals. They cut the show claiming the game was over and switch to some propaganda about engineers praising their nutball leader. They never got to see the end of the game. They never saw that their team lost 7-0.

I actually find the news stories about the World Cup more interesting than the actual game itself. I really don't care about the players kicking and saying "Look at me. I kick the ball". I'm waiting for a good old fashion soccer riot. That would be more interesting than the game itself.

My 2 bytes

I want more....does that mean I'm being selfish? I just want to talk.

I look at myself in the mirror now, and I see one problem resolved. My skin is clear. I look at my finances, and I see a light at the end of the hole I dug myself into. I look at my goal of getting my MBA in the next 5 years, and I might have another option for paying for it, other than student loan (which I REFUSE to do). I'm going to London next summer. Heck, I could have pulled it off this year except for not having enough holiday time. Now all I need to do is loose weight and learn how to talk.

The weight thing is obvious, but learning to talk? I know how to talk, it's just that I can't talk to people. Not in real life anyway. In real life, I'm really shy. I'm the type of person who can be alone in a crowded room. Ironically, I can talk to a crowd. I have no problems in public speaking but one on one with a stranger or even with a small group of friends...I'll always be the silent one. Sure, I'll try to say one thing or two, but other than that, I'm shutting up.

Is this holding me back? It might be. It's just that when I start talking to a stranger, I always think that they can see inside of me, and see my negative self image. I think they see the failure I perceive myself to be. I know I'm not a failure...compared to a lot of people out there, I've fairly successful, but inside all I see are the things I never did, like loose weight. I believe this is my final hurdle.

In case you didn't guess yet. I'm wining this post. I'm just typing and letting the words appear on the screen. Some people say that this is when I'm at my best. I'm not sure if that's true, but if other people say it, then I guess I believe them.

I have another friend who also has a weight problem, and she also has a self image problem. I told her that she has to love her as is, before making a change. Now if I could only follow my own advice. Maybe I'll have better luck after read those Dale Carnegie book that Olly recommend indirectly.

My 2 Bytes