Photo Friday (BAD DOG, BAD DOG)

My 2 bytes

Lighten up, flight attendant.

Has anyone seen the new Jodi Foster movie yet? I can’t even remember what it’s called and I haven’t been in the mood to go to the movies but I might go see this one. I’m thinking about seeing it because three organizations for flight attendants are pissed off at this film.

Apparently three different union are calling for a boycott of the movie “Flightplan” (I looked the movie title up) because oh the way the flight attendants are portrayed in the movie. Ok now flight attendant people, listen to me. Take a damn headset off, stop eating those damn peanuts and get a life. THIS IS A MOVIE, NOT REAL LIFE. I don’t remember hearing the Martians protecting War of the Worlds, by saying that they were portrayed incorrectly.(Ok bad example). Let’s try it this way. WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHEN DAVID SPADE WAS DOING THE “BYE BYE” SKIT ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.

I’m reading about these annoyed flight attendants, talking how if there was another 9/11, that no one would listen to them because no one would trust them because of this movie. Excuse me? Now I think that flight attendants should be on oxygen during the flight because it’s obvious that the altitude is killing brain cells, now get me a blanket and a drink and more of those peanuts.

Quit taking yourselves too seriously. Why is everyone so damn touchy these days? OK everyone on the planet earth listen to me. Everyone will now have an Oreo cookie and a glass of milk and RELAX.

My 2 bytes.

Canada Still wants its MTV

Once upon a time, in a land call the United States, there was a TV channel called MTV. Now MTV aired music videos and their viewers were happy. Meanwhile in another land, further north, there was a TV channel called Much Music and they also aired music videos to the people of the north. Now the people of the north, who were called Canadians, also wanted to watch MTV but the people who owned Much Music, said that people were only allowed to watch their crappy TV channel.

Many years later, another TV company said “Hey people in Canada want to watch MTV, let’s make a deal with them, bring MTV to Canada and everyone will be happy”, so they did and MTV Canada was born.

But, not everyone was happy. The no talent hacks who owned Much Music and all their lame ass knock offs were mad. The evil, small minded minions at CHUM Limited said “We cannot have Canadian watch, something other than us. They must only watch the crap we feed them and nothing else”, so they started to scheme. Scheme and scheme, they did for a couple of years until they counted up all their pennies and bought the TV company that was partnering with MTV in Canada and told MTV that they were not allowed to show their programs unless it was through them. So once again, the people of Canada were forced to watch the crap Much Music was showing them.

Then today, the people at MTV came back to Canada to proclaim that they had a new partner in Canada. CTV Inc. Now CTV was a far bigger TV company than CHUM Limited and they couldn’t just buy this company like the last one. Then another proclamation was made. MTV now gave exclusive rights to all their programs to CTV Inc, which meant that Much Music could no longer air some of MTV’s programming.

Now the corporate weasels at CHUM made a proclamation of their own. They wished CTV well but that turning their TalkTV channel into MTV Canada might cause some issues with the CRTC. Now I guess we will have to wait and see.

Personally, I hope CHUM shuts the hell up and learns from this hard lesson before CTV’s parent company, Bell Canada Enterprises gets pissed off and DROPS A FUCKING SATELLITE FROM ORBIT AND SMASHES IT ONTO THEIR LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT BUILDING IN TORONTO. That’s what CHUM deserves for turning my favorite local TV station A-Channel Calgary, into one of those cookie cutter piece of shit CITY TV channels.

My 2 bytes.

The evolution of my Podcast

As everyone who frequents this blog knows (at least I hope they know), I do a weekly podcast. The podcast is still in it’s infancy but giving it time to evolve, I think it could be something as successful as my blog. Well I’ve come up with some ideas for my podcast that I want to share with everyone and see if they’re good ideas.

Idea #1. Get Paul Sr. from American Chopper as my co-host. I could say something to set him off and the whole Podcast could be him SCREAMING at me. Isn’t that why half the people watch the show anyway? Just to watch Paul Sr. and Jr. scream at each other?

Idea #2. Call one of those sex lines and ask for recipes. The problem is that at x dollars a minute, I’ll want some quick recipes.

Idea #3. Do the podcast naked. Wait I do that already, never mind (I’m kidding, I SWEAR)

Idea #4.Call up Adam Curry (the self proclaimed father of podcasting) and tell him that in his ITunes picture he looks like Barry Manilow, if he was a preacher.

Idea #5. Lots of fart noises.

Idea #6. Do Podcast as cool, “Rappin K” character. (and then I’ll shoot myself.)

Idea #7. Talk about my brief marriage to Jennifer Lopez.

Idea #8. YODELCAST !!!!

Idea #9. Have a segment when I talk about one of my pairs of pants.

Idea #10. Inhale helium during the Podcast.

Again, my podcast is a work in progress. I hope one day, that I’ll be as successful as Dawn and Drew and I’ll be able to quit my job and work as a professional podcaster. Oh well, until that day, there’s always Mary Kay.

My 2 bytes.

Blame Canada

Now sing along….

“Blame Canada! Blame Canada! With all their hockey hubaloo and that bitch Anne Murray too. Blame Canada! Shame on Canada! “ Yes indeed, we must blame Canada for all the potty mouth that Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman were spewing during that South Park movie but what else can we blame Canada for?

Everyone looks at hockey as a Canadian sport but guess what? So is Basketball. Yes it was invented by James Naismith. He came up with the idea since there weren’t any sports that could be played indoors during the winter. Oh and if you need advice on what to do when it’s cold, ask a Canadian. Oh yeah he also invented the football helmet. Blame Canada for that.

There was another Canadian who liked to challenge the status quo. This person was Frederick Banting. This guy had some interesting theories and with the help of a single assistant managed to invent, despite being under funded, Insulin. Blame Canada for that.

Now don’t you hate it when teenagers spend hours on the phone? Well that’s because it was invented by Alexander Graham Bell, another Canadian. Oh and he also invented the metal detector.  Blame Canada for that.

Joseph-Armand Bombardier was this French Canadian guy who liked to dabble in different things, even as a child. So it was no wonder that a Canadian would invent the snowmobile. No surprise there but did you know that the company he created still exists and now manufactures mass transit rail systems, high speed trains and Learjets. Blame Canada for that.

Ever to go an Imax and suffer some motion sickness because the screen fills you field of vision? Well blame Canada for that too.

Basically you can blame Canada for a lot of stuff, so feel free to point that finger of blame at us. We don’t mind. Now let’s sing some more…

“We need to form a full assault, it's Canada's fault! Don't blame me, for my son Stan, He saw the darn cartoon, and now he's off to join the klan! And my boy eric once, had my picture on his shelf, but now when I see him, he tells me to fuck myself.’”

My 2 bytes.