Monday, September 08, 2008

That doesn't go there.

Once again, I was unable to find something to blog about. I had couple of false starts. One was about the passing of Don LaFontaine. (You know, the movie trailer guy who’s famous for starting his reads by saying “In a world” He will be missed). Then I thought about blogging about…myself. Crazy I know. I’ve had people tell me that they really don’t know me, but again, I thought that was crazy talk. Then I learned about a stripper who has been charged with raping the best man at a bachelor party.

So the woman allegedly stuck a vibrator up the best man…HELLO. What I want to know is why this woman thought this was a good idea? I know that 1 in 10 men are suppose to like that, but with 1 in 10 odds, those same odds were stacked against you lady. Was she having a bad day and had the urge to “give some back”, or perhaps he was talking with a lisp and she misinterpreted it. Maybe he was one of the 1 in 10, but dammit, you don’t do that in public lady. It’s Ned Beatty in Deliverance all over again.

I really feel for the guy. I really do, because when I fly to Chicago next fall, I’m probably going to be in the line where the guy is behind on his body cavity searches and is going to pick me to make his quote. Well actually I’m pretty sure that won’t happen considering the last time I flew to the US. I went through the US customs process in the Canadian airport, so I expect the same thing will happen this time.

Seriously though, how man women out there want to stick a vibrator up a man’s..HELLO? I used to have a kinky girlfriend, but I made it very clear, that I didn’t want that kind of treatment. So perhaps the stripper might have thought to ask…”Would you like it if I were to stick this vibrator in your HELLO”? It is my understanding that the vast majority of women aren’t interested in this kind of action, so why the hell did this woman think that he would? Maybe because she’s a COUGAR!!!

Did I mention that she’s 39? A 39-year-old stripper. I guess if she still wants to do it, and that she has the body, then I’m all for it. Actually this might be his fault after all. He got onstage with a COUGAR and cougars are dangerous. I think I need to commission a study here. Are younger stripper more or less likely to stick a vibrator up a man’s HELLO than a Cougar stripper. I’ll get to work on the grant application.

My 2 Bytes


letti said...

cougars and hellos.. i just learnt some new innuendoes today.

Jay said...

Yeah...and I'm kinda wondering how he allowed himself to get naked enough for this to happen. I mean, that certainly doesn't excuse what she did, but I think some people are taking the whole 'bachelor party' a bit too far.

K. Restoule said...

I made up HELLO, because really didn't want to say ass in that type of conversation.

Cougar on the other hand has been around in Canada for some years.

Dan Flynn said...


I'm disturbed by this story in a number of ways but not least by how you managed to find it. Did you google 'vibrator up the arse' and if you did was there many hits? So to speak. I am not going to google 'vibrator up the arse' because my mind is pure and though I might be disturbed by the article I'm perhaps not as disturbed as that crowd of cheering, muscley, bicepted Australian men on witnessing one of their own being buggered by a tube of heavy duty plastic. Good for the stripper is what I say.

K. Restoule said...

I did not Google "Vibrator up the Arse". I found it through