There’s a friend of mine that is going through hell right now, and I really mean HELL. Just thinking about it makes me feel ashamed; ashamed that I’m not able to do something about it.
The main reason I feel like this is because I made a promise to myself. I promised myself to I will do everything in power to help out friends who are going through a tough time. I’ve even let a friend crash on my couch for a month, but I can’t really help this person because this person is far away.
Right now I also feel an rage inside of me, more of a righteous fury, now that I think about it. I want to help this person, but I’m unable to. I feel so ashamed that I don’t even know how to reply to this person’s latest e-mail. I want to be supportive but I don’t know how. Not in this case.
I look around at the world around me and I think of people to blame for my inability to help this person. I can think of a few people, but does blaming someone really help the person in need? I know it doesn’t anyone. I learned long ago to focus on the solution, not the problem, but I still can’t help wanting to smack someone around.
Even though I’m lost for words and I’m feeling a mixture of range and sadness over what my friend is going through, I mostly feel shame for not doing more.
I do hope one thing though. I hope that after this person comes through all this, that they will write a book about this experience and then the book will do so well that they will be on Oprah, but I need to do more. I need to help, but I’m not sure how to do it.
My 2 bytes.