The Clip of the Week (In Honor of Canada Day on Sunday)

Oh and they still blame us for the legalized gay marriages and the BC pot.

My 2 Bytes Eh!

Photo Friday (Separated at Birth)

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Geeks and Women

Sometimes smart people can be really stupid. For example there are two types of IT people. The type that enjoys spitting out tech jargon to non techies in order to make themselves feel superior, and the type the get laid on a regular basis. If these guys are so damn smart, then why haven’t they figured out the reason why they’re not getting any (cue 70’s porno music)?

The past weekend, I had another IT guy from head office to help me with a big project over the weekend. He’s like me in the sense that we prefer to help people with our IT knowledge instead of trying to make others feel inferior with it. In fact he feels that life comes down to two things, money and (cue 70’s porno music). Despite what some people in my industry think, knowing how to program a router is not all that important.

I’m reminded of the geek in a videogame store who thought he was funny by asking if they had any games on Linux. Guess what, while he went home to play with his Linux OS the sales person was someone doing (cue 70’s porno music). Dumbass.

It’s like a disease, alcoholics prefer their drink to (cue 70’s porno music), the same with drug addicts. At least people who are addicted to games like World of Warcraft cyber (cue 70’s porno music).

What I really get a chuckle at is how these guys then wonder why they’re not meeting anyone. Sure many 1 in 100 might find the girl geek. Let’s face it, a girl who knows JavaScript is HOT!!! or not. Personally I like smart women. A smart woman with attitude is even better. For some reason, I like the idea of “being put in my place” every once in a while. I like sassy.

I know, what’s my excuse since I’m not the dork who goes on and on about tech crap? We’ll I’m shy in person, and I lack self confidence in that area. Though it pisses me off when women are attracted to dumb ass jocks who call everyone “Dawg”. Are women really attracted to that, or is it just a physical thing?

We’ll it’s time to let everyone in on a secret. Geeks are horny bastards. Don’t believe me, check out Revenge of the Nerds. The proof is right there (and I don’t mean the Booger guy)

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More Web site Blaa Blaa and a Joke.

I finally heard from the payment processing people and they needed some more information including a business number (a.k.a) a GST number. I knew I forgot SOMETHING. D’oh!!! I’m going to head to the big government office building tomorrow morning and hopefully, they can give me a GST number right there and then. Other than that, everything is good.

The really strange thing was despite this problem, I got excited all over again about the business. Just as I picked up the needed forms from the printer, I felt that rush again, the rush that I’m going into uncharted territories and that I’m going to do great things.

Let’s face it, working for someone else sucks. Having to answer to some bloated, balding dumb ass with a cigar in his mouth, who expects you to kiss his ass really blows. I hate the idea of getting my ass out of bed at 6:30am to the sound of some alarm going “ARGGGGGG”. I want to get up when I want too. I want to get up at 8:00am, take a shower, have some breakfast, check the website and make sure all orders are processed and then take the elevator down to the Rec floor and enjoy a morning swim. After that I’ll do what I want, check the site before lunch…you get the idea. No stuck in a commuter train with strangers. No working at a job that I’m not challenged with anymore.

Right now the worst part is that the site is dominating my mind right now so I’m not thinking of anything else to blog about. I know people just want to have the site launch so I’ll shut up, about it. I wish I could but… I’ll feel better when I have closure and have the site live.


A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear asks the rabbit if he ever has problems with shit sticking to his fur. The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

Ok I wrote something else.

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A Post about NOTHING

I’m having one of those blogger moments where I don’t have a topic, but that has never stopped me from shotting my mouth off so here goes.

I spent the weekend at work, rebuilding a new network rack when I (tech blaa blaa). There’s no reason to get into the details, but needless to say, my weekend was SHOT. Though I did spend Sunday morning in Banff and I bought a bunch of post cards. I remember the look on the salesperson’s face when I told her that they would ALL be sent to one person. That person knows who they are. *Grin*

I’m still waiting to be set up with the credit card payment service for the website. I’m hoping that everything will be set up by tomorrow, if not, I’m going to start making phone calls.

I guess I’m too tired to write. I’ll have something more exciting to write about tomorrow.

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Photo Friday (and then the dog mauled them in thier sleep)

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Not quite there

Another bump in the road. So I’m not launching today, but hopefully tomorrow. It has something to do with my site’s ability to accept credit cards. I’ve filled the application out (online), but they need to check on me before they let me accept credit cards. I guess they want to make sure that I’m not a criminal or anything like that. It makes sense but it’s another roadblock. So my website won’t go live today.

I have solved other issues like setting up shipping and how to give discounts, how to put certain titles in specific categories, so things are looking good. I’m still very positive about things, I’m just sick of getting dinged by all they setup fee’s. It’s really starting to add up.

While a lot of this stuff is no big deal to me, other things like filling out banking and business forms are not one of my favorite things. To be honest, I absolutely hate it. I know bullshit makes the world go around, but I don’t want to be the one adding to it. I guess this is why I hate paperwork. I hate having to deal with some weasel who wants to know why I didn’t properly fill out form EDFG-33-5, or whatever. This stuff gives me a headache. I’m just glad that I have a bottle of ibuprofen in my backpack. Too bad that it’s going to take an hour for the drugs to kick in because I’m in pain now.

I just need to keep focused on going live. I’m sure that will happen on Monday now, which sucks, but it will give me time to add more product.

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The final hours before going live.

If the reaction to my logo is a sign of how well my website will do, then I’m going to make a SHITLOAD of money. The reaction by some people over my logo has blown me away. I’ve had requests for copies from six people, AND THAT’S JUST THE LOGO!!!

I should make one thing clear. I did not design the logo, not really. I came up with the initial concept. I knew that I wanted the face of a girl done in anime but I paid a company to create it for me. I’ll be honest, that I think they did a fantastic job, and once I’m at the point where I’ve achieved success, I’m going to get some shirts made up with it. I’ll probably get some coats done as well, and give them to my friends and family.

Something just occurred to me. She doesn’t have a name. Should I name her? It’s just a logo but do other characters in logos have names? How about you, the readers, let me know. Then you’ll have an excuse to write a comment.

I’ll be honest, I’m really excited by this website. While I’m not happy with everything with the site, the main problem is inventory. I need to ad more titles, and soon I’ll have to divide my products into categories. Did I mention that I’m REALLY excited? The other stuff is almost done, and I’m aiming to go live TOMORROW!!! Then the real work, of promoting the site starts. Don’t worry; I have a plan for that as well. Anyone can put up a website, but it takes a plan to get you sited listed on the front page of Google.

I keep thinking that the site could lead me to owning my own life. No more working for someone else. No more daily commutes to an industrial. Instead, I can wake up when I want to, take the elevator downstairs and enjoy the pool and take it easy.

Though I’m not going to spend all my time loafing. Once I’m happy with the success of the first site, I see myself starting a second site, and a third and… well you get the idea.

I also see myself doing some other projects in the future for other people. I once made a promise to myself that I would everything in my power to help a friend in need. I intend to keep that promise.

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Questions I want answered.

So I’m working on the website, making some changes here and adding some things there, and suddenly a thought went through my head. Do cats fart? Yes it’s time for questions I want answered.

These are questions that I want answers for.

Do cats fart?

Who do people care if a bear takes a dump in the woods?

Why did Al Gore gain so much weight?

What the FUCK is Michael Moore’s problem?

Why is there an Elmer Fudd version of Google?

Will Prince ever learn to spell?

What were they thinking when they picked Ed Norton in the new Hulk movie?

Why do dogs sniff eat others butts?

Who thought Aerosol Cheese was a good idea?

Why does the word “naked” always make me smile?

Why won’t Weird Al return my calls?

Who thought making a second Dukes of Hazard movie was a good idea?

Am I the only one who’s enjoying the peace and quiet now that Paris Hilton is in the slammer?

Is Bob Barker having his guests guess the price of his living room furniture to the closest dollar without going over?

Is it really true that some of the seniors who watched The Price is Right were younger than Bob?

I await the answers.

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The Secret Project Revealed

Some people have already seen the logo and some know what I’m up to, but I thought I would let EVERYONE know. Well everyone who reads my blog anyway. I’m getting into the e-commerce racket. Specifically I’m going to start selling Anime DVD’s online.

I’m not going to go into the details, except that I’ve been working on this for a bit and I’m ready to go live…almost. I was actually planning to go live with the site today, BUT I had a few pitfalls and I’ve pushing the launch back to Wednesday or Thursday., at the latest.

My main roadblock is getting the products on the site right now. I have about 400 imported titles listed but I need to get some of the domestic titles on as well. Domestic, meaning that it was translated here; the still is all from Japan. The way I figure it though I can still go live and add product on a daily basis until I’m happy with the selection and then add as new titles get released.

One cool thing about all this is that I started buy anime magazines and keeping the receipts since I can deduct them as a business expense; market research. Also since I’ll be running the business from my home, I get to deduct…yea yea move on.

Now I haven’t quit my job yet. I’m not planning on doing that until I’ve made a certain amount of money, which I’m hoping to do by the time the snow starts falling again, (the problem with that is that sometimes the weather is extremely chaotic and the snow could start falling in July).

Now I also know that simply having a site isn’t enough, I need to generate traffic, the right kind of traffic. I’ve been working with some people on this. They are going to help me get to the top of the search engines (and that included Google).

I’m not going to give out the address yet since there’s nothing to see, but I look forward to getting everyone’s opinions when I launch, and hopefully you’ll wish me luck.

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The Clip of the Week (Weird Al)

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Photo Friday (WHOA!!!)

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Ummm Happy Juice?

Note; During this post, the word “semen” will be replaced with the term “umm you know”.

Once again, I’ve discovered another benefit for sex. I’ve talked about how sex makes you younger and now according to a study that was written about in Psychology Toady, “umm you know” makes women happy.

They did a study and they discovered that women who have unprotected sex are “are less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide than are women who have sex with condoms”, or women who don’t have sex. I’ve always suspected that women who don’t have sex are less happy than women who do, now they’re a theory that there’s something in the “umm you know” that makes women happy, a mood altering chemical.

I could say so many things right now but they would all be crude and it’s against my nature to talk like that because it disrespectful. I’ve always thought that guys in porns were asses because of the way they treated to women sometimes. I just want to say “come on honey, it will make you happy”. (I’m sorry). The more I think about this, the more it makes sense. Is it just me or are porno actresses the happiest, friendliest people in the world? They seem to be all smiles and eager to please. Maybe this is why they call homosexual men ‘gay’. Gay also means happy, and homosexual tend to be happy. This might a because they like the ‘umm you know”

So if this is true and the secret to being happy is in the “umm you know” then I intend to be the unhappiest person on earth. I’m sorry, but that is one thing I cannot do. I will not absorb the happy hormone in that manor. I’m the type of person who is happy when he is helping others. I will everything in my power to make women happy. I know that itnwill be a heavy burden, but dammit. I’m wiling to make the sacrifice.

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I'm offically stupid

I really like my apartment. I think it has the potential of being a babe magnet but last night I discovered a drawback to my place. Last night around 10:30pm, the fire alarm went off. This meant that I had to walk down 28 floors to get to the ground. This didn’t bother me too much, my legs started to bother me a bit but things were fine.

So there I am outside my build, along with a small mob and a lot of fire trucks. That part was cool, I ended up taking some pictures with my camera phone. The lame part was getting back home AFTER I discovered that it was a false alarm (big surprise). So this mob wants to get into the elevators and I was with some people who said “It’s going to take 45 minutes, let’s take the stairs back up.” This was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done and I’ve done some pretty stupid things.

I need to explain some things about my building. There the main floor, then about 5 floors of a parkade, then some floors for offices, then the water/mechanical room, the pool/rec floor and then the apartments. The apartments start at the 14^th floor. I thought I was going to die. I gave up on the 14^th floor and found the elevators, and called them from that floor.

I am not the fitting man on the planet. I’m not the fittest man in this room, (and I’m alone), by the time, I got to the 14^th floor, my legs were Jell-o and I kept gasping for air. At one point I though that they would have to call the Fire Department back and take me away on an ambulance, but the good news is that I made it back to my apartment and my bed.

At that point, my bed was my best friend as I just lied there and caught my breath. Soon after the fire alarm went off again. At that point, I decided that I just didn’t care. If it was a REAL fire, those dam firemen could carry me out on a stretcher. I wasn’t moving. Of course, it was another false alarm.

So last night I learned that there was an idiot in the building and a jackass who pulled the alarm. The idiot of course was ME!!! NOT TO SELF. NEVER TRY TO WALK UP 28 FLOORS AGAIN!!

I still can’t believe that I once wanted to walk up the stairs of the CN Tower. STUPID STUPID STUPID.

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I attract bad movies

The cool thing about renting DVD’s online is that they have this massive library of DVD’s. that you can rent. The cool thing about renting DVD’s online is that they have this massive library of DVD’s. that you can rent. You look at the list and go “I want that, that and that”, and next thing you know, you have a massive list of DVD’s, some good and some not so good. The problem is that sometimes you make a selection at ‘the heat of the moment” and then one day it comes back to bite you. Today is that day. Zip.ca has sent me “Killer Tomatoes Strike Back” and “Killer Tomatoes Eat France”. Why the hell did I put this crap in my movie cue?.

I remember watching Attack of the Killer Tomatoes after hearing about it and it was bad, really bad. I still remember that one line that gave the spy within the Tomato tribe “pass the ketchup”. I know this is going to be bad movies but sometimes, you want to see a bad movie. Sometimes a movie becomes so bad that it becomes great, like Snakes on a Plane. Nonetheless my place is going to be a home for a crapfest. I wonder if I could get that Elvira click to watch them with me. At least I could check out her rack between the films.

I have two theories as to why this has happened to me, The first is that I felt that I needed to experience different types of films in order to help understand other people, other cultures and the planet in general. The second is, I’m really stupid. If someone tells me that a plate is not and not to touch it, I touch it. If a sign says a drier is broken, I try to use it anyway. Bottom line, I’M REALLY DUMB.

I’ll give my reviews of both movies soon.

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So it wasn't a Village People fan club out there

It all started innocently enough. I remember reading that there was a Caribbean Festival going on in the city. There was a parade on Saturday that went right past my building and I though “cool”, but I never went down to watch it. The next day there was another parade and has a couple of errands to do so I thought; I might go check the parade out. Then it got weird.

For the record, I’m glad that they were proud to be gay, BUT (always have to work the work but, into a post about gay men), THOSE GUYS SHOULD NOT GO OUT IN PUBLIC DRESSED LIKE THAT!!! I really didn’t need to see the guys in leather and chains. The cross dressers were no big deal, nor was the guys who was only wearing a Speedo and some furry leggings, but the leather mustache guys in butt chaffs are not suppose to be seen in public.

As I watch the parade go by, something occurred to me, this could easily be mistaken for a Village People appreciation party. We had the Leather Guy, the Cowboy, the Phone Installer Guy and if I would have looked hard enough I could have found someone to be the Cop. Oh and the guy in the Speedo could have been the Indian. Well if I ever end up at a Gay Pride parade with my mom, I’ll tell her that.

Oh and cowboy guy, I’m glad your proud of being gay but you should not be proud of all the back hair. Would it not have killed you to have your lover shave your back? I don’t care if you are a “Bear” Don’t go out in public like that.

I’m actually glad that the amount of people who were there did take part in the parade. What was really cool was the group from IBM who were walking with their Diversity signs. I applaud IBM for supporting them. I was also glad to see everyone along the parade route was supporting them. I guess were as red neck as people think we are. I even remember not too long ago when Joe Clark was the Parade Marshall (and this guy was the Prime Minister of Canada for a couple of months.

Most Canadians don’t care of someone is gay or not. It’s just a small minority like Stephen Harper who like to complain about that. A few years ago when gay marriage was made legal in Canada, there really wasn’t much opposition. Heck if Don Cherry and Scott Thompson can get along like this, then we know that Canadian really mind of someone is gay or not.

Though I still wish that guy would have shaved his back

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The Clip of the Week

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Photo Friday (Oh man)

The scary reason is that the company put that warning in because SOMEONE DID IT!!

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Big time Yadda Yadda.

I’m back after a day of gritting my teeth, dealing with the damage deposit business and asserting the fact that I’m a HETEROSEXUAL (don’t ask). The worst thing about the damage deposit thing is that it was draining me creativity. I’m use to writing blogging masterpieces (ok maybe not masterpieces, but not crap), but my wind was so wrapped over my money that I didn’t have the desire to write anything else.

I do have good news though. I received a cheque from the owner last night, however I do know that another person who used to live in the building had her cheque bounce, so after work, I’m going straight to the bank (we both use the same bank) and deposit it there, and I’ll know right there and then if the cheque is good or not/ wish me luck. I really need to put this behind me and I should be able to do this by tonight. At least I hope I will be able to.

…….

THAT WHORE IS OUT OF JAIL ALREADY!!! I just read on cnn.com that Paris Hilton has been released after serving 5 days. AWW COME ON!!!! I am so sick of this skanky, self absorbed little bitch. I don’t take it anymore. I swear. They said she will be under house arrest and have to wear an ankle bracelet. HOUSE ARREST!! I’d love to be under house arrest at Paris Hilton’s house. They say that she’s being released due to “health considerations” HEALTH CONSIDERATION!!! Let me guess, Sarah Silverman was right about her chipping a tooth .I hate this girl so much. She is the ultimate snooty popular rich girl that was in every high school that most the people hated. ARGHHH. I can’t take it. Have you seen her mug shot? She thinks it’s a damn modeling job.

….

Julie Amero, the substitute teacher who was found guilty of exposing children to pornography because of the PC was filled with spyware and them a pornographic pop up storm resulted of it is getting a new trial; apparently the “original computer analysis was flawed”. FLAWED??? NO SHIT IT WAS FLAWED. Anyone who has some experience with the Internet knows that it was flawed. What happened was the woman was teaching as a substitute teacher and somehow the computer start bringing up pornographic pop ups and she couldn’t stop it. She would close one and two more would appear. Sounds familiar? We’ve all experienced this at least once. I say all of us became we all have some internet experience or else you’d wouldn’t be here. So the defense was going to argue this, along the fact that antivirus was out of date and there was no antispyware on the machine but the judge wouldn’t allow the computer expert witness to properly testify (cus computers is hard). So basically because the judge was a 12:00 flasher (all his appliances at home flash 12:00 because he doesn’t know how to set the clocks), she was found guilty.

So yesterday she was suppose to be sentenced, which could have been up to 40 years in jail, but instead she’s getting a new trail. The defense lawyer argued that the trail was not a fair trial (and it wasn’t). The Prosecutors did not oppose the motion so there will be a new trail. This after the computer was sent to the state labs where the prosecutor’s evidence was found to be inaccurate. Though I’m sure that the media attention this incident had NOTHING to do with this.

Good luck Julie. I know the court will get it right this time, now that the mainstream press is watching your situation very carefully.

…..

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Answers and Updates.

Ok first thing are the answers from the movie quote and despite Vics attempt to CHEAT by using IMDB, she only got 2 of the quotes. The answers are as followed

“Wait a minute, did you just grab my ass?”
“No.”
“Do you want to?”
“No... should I?”

A Night at the Roxbury

“Are you a Muslim?”

“No. I'm in television.”

V for Vendetta

“I did not have sex with that woman. I wanted to...”

Man of the Year

“Kiss my frozen tushy! Kiss it, kiss it!”

Happy Feet

“Hey I got an idea! I could stay with you! We could stay up late, swap manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!”

Shrek

“Plans are pointless. Staying alive is as good as it gets”

28 Days later

“As the sound of the playgrounds faded, the despair set in. Very odd, what happens in a world without children's voices.”

Children of Men

“Don't call yourselves BJ Landscaping. You don't want people to go around calling you "Blow Job Landscaping."”

Drowning Mona

“What is the difference between the Cub Scouts and the military? Bzzzzzt! Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery!”

Good Morning Vietnam

“There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we *don't* say to each other. What's that called?”
“Marriage.”

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

I’m not feeling very creative right, since I spent the last 20 minutes recounting the events of my missing damage deposit. I called the province and they told me that to recover my damage deposit, I would have to go through the courts, but they asked me to file a complaint which I wrote. Now’s here’s the shocker. The owner actually CALLED ME BACK. I think this probably has something to do with my threat, but at least he has contacted me. He said he just got back from Edmonton, less and 30 minutes ago and the he wants to arrange a meeting tomorrow. He also asked for the keys, in which I told him that I had turned them over to the building manager when I moved out. The complaint has been written up and I plan to send my complaint via e-mail and file court papers for my lawsuit, on Friday. I hope the guy went to Edmonton to get my money. I really don’t want to sue the guy. He’s not a bad guy, just over his head, and to be honest, I can relate.

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Getting screwed over by (Insert minority group here)

I’m not a racist by any means. I hate everyone equal, though once again, I’m being screwed over by some of (insert minority group here). Back in year 1 of blogging, I wrote about a cab driver who was part of (insert minority group here), and how he stole my cell phone. Anyway my old apartment building was bought by two guys who are (insert minority group here). They want to convert the place to condos, and we were given notice that we had 3 months to leave. Because the notice said that the building was undergoing major renovations, they have to give me back my damage deposit in full. So I’ve been in my new apartment for a month and I have still yet to receive my $650 back.

Oh it gets better, yesterday I went to the old building and was talking to the old building manager and I then heard that this was going on with EVERYONE who had moved out. At one point they wrote a bad cheque to a woman, and the only reason why she got her money back was that she threatened to call the police. Writing a bad cheque is fraud people.

My problem is that I tend to believe that all people are good. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt that was until yesterday. Now I feel that I’ve once again been taken advantage of by (insert minority group here), and next time I hear someone from (insert minority group here) complaining about being discriminated against, I’m not going to care, because you can’t be trusted. I know that this is a bad thing, but I’m basing this on personal experience now, not a baseless stereotype. You of (insert minority group here) cannot be trusted because you ARE thieves and cheats.

I know that this view is wrong and that there are some really good people who are part of (insert minority group here), but dammit, I’m tired of being taken advantage of by these people. I cannot believe the words that come from your mouth, because you’ve been lying to me for some time now. I know about you not showing up to meetings. I know about the bounced cheque. I know it all. I even know your full name now, despite your efforts to conceal them. Calling the building manager from you home was not smart, especially when he has call display.

So here’s the plan. I will call them at noon today and give them 24 hours to give me back my money or I will pursue legal options. According to the tenant act, that money should have been placed in a separate bank account, but if they have spent it, they will be in BIG trouble with the province. I hear that they already have violated some of the tenant laws in Alberta, so the government should already have a file on these guys. I hate being the bad guy, I really do, but at this point, they leave me no choice.

I’ll give everyone an update tomorrow.

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The Return of the Movie Quote Game

Here's how you play the game. There are 10 quotes from different movies. Guess which movie they came from.

“Wait a minute, did you just grab my ass?”
“No.”
“Do you want to?”
“No... should I?”

“Are you a Muslim?”
“No. I'm in television.”

“I did not have sex with that woman. I wanted to...”

“Kiss my frozen tushy! Kiss it, kiss it!”

“Hey I got an idea! I could stay with you! We could stay up late, swap manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!”

“Plans are pointless. Staying alive is as good as it gets”

“As the sound of the playgrounds faded, the despair set in. Very odd, what happens in a world without children's voices.”

“Don't call yourselves BJ Landscaping. You don't want people to go around calling you "Blow Job Landscaping."”

“What is the difference between the Cub Scouts and the military? Bzzzzzt! Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery!”

“There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we *don't* say to each other. What's that called?”
"Marriage.”

The answers will be posted on Tuesday

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The Clip of the Week (Code Monkey Video)c

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Photo Friday (the Horror, the horror)

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