Photo Friday (Hey. You don't know where that's been)

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Theyre gone !!!

They’re gone. Well at least they’re out of my hair. The folks showed up tonight for a couple of hours. My dad ordered a shirt from Sears and it arrived today. He and my Mom dropped by so they could try the shirt on and then they watched ‘Flightplan’, the Jodie Foster movie.  Now they went back to their hotel (I didn’t kick them out), and I won’t be seeing them for awhile. My dad has one more day of classes and then they take off on Friday morning.

So the good news is my place looks better. Despite my protests, my mother kept picking up little things and the place is spotless. At least she didn’t go nuts this time, and she did comment that it wasn’t bad. This is despite the fact that she changed the foilly things on my stove and she went out and bought me a new toilet seat. I also should thank them for the food they left behind. I have a crapload of homemade perogies now, but I have one problem. How do you cook perogies? Do I boil them? Do I bake them? I guess I’ll have to call her and ask on the weekend.

Truth be told, is that I was happy to see them, even though I ended up playing guide a lot. Showing them where to find item X, Y or Z. Oh and I did come out ahead at the Casino.

The good news is that my Mom didn’t find my porn. I simply hid the folders on the hard drive and that was that. As for the goat, well if Hugh doesn’t have the goat now, there’s a big problem.

Now I feel that an adventure has ended and I want to call it a night so take care.

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Why won't my Mommy go away

I know Sunday’s are supposed to be Podcast days but I can’t do one because MY MOM WILL NOT STOP VACUMMING!!!! Yes the parents are here. They arrived on Friday and my mom has been complaining ever since. She doesn’t like the toilet seat. She’s changing the foil things on my stove. She’s doing everything she can to annoy me, and ITS WORKING. She keeps buying all this ‘Healthy stuff’ and talks about how I need to eat healthier. The problem is I really hate the aftertaste of Crystal Light. It’s enough to drive me to drink.

Yesterday I we went out and did some errands for my parents. They don’t usually have access to ‘Big City’ Shopping so we went to Chinook Centre and then we went to Ikea. After that I took my Dad to Best Buy to get him a USB Key. He’s been forced to leave the world of 3 ¼ inch floppy disks behind because the new PC he bought doesn’t have a floppy drive. Ikea was an adventure. I ended up buying some stuff including a $1.49 see-through shower curtain, which I bought out of spite. Actually I like it. It looks cool.

After all the shopping we ended up at one of Calgary’s fine Casinos. Now I’m not a casino person. I have a problem with wasting money in slot machines when I could be paying bills, or saving for a car. Well my Dad gave me $20, which was ok so I figured I should waste the cash. Well I walked away with $160, because I knew to leave when I was ahead. Actually the money I won is just covering my expenses since I took my parents out to dinner, both Friday and Saturday. As well I bought some other item for Mom.

Whew, Mom stopped vacuuming. I just love the silence. The problem is it’s not permanent. I know soon, she will go off about something else.

Well time is limited and while I love my Mom and Dad, I look forward to getting them out of my place.

Sorry that this post isn’t more interesting but I this post has one purpose.

HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The Clip of the Week

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Photo Friday

 
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I'm blind, I cannot see.

I’m on the bus and I see some guy with an unlit cigarette in his mouth I want to say “Hey Asshole, What’s the matter; you can’t wait to get off the bus to poison yourself?” I just ant too……..ARGHHHH MY CONTACT LENS POPED OUT.

Just got back from the bathroom and my contact lens is GONE. Now I have to spend the rest of my day half squinting. The good news is that my brain tries to compensate by relying on the good eye but it’s not always perfect. DAMMIT.

Maybe I should go and put an eye patch on and growl like a pirate. I could go ARGHH a lot. Ahh the joys of being half blind.

Ironically I find myself closing the good eye and enjoying the blurry word around me I’m enjoy the fact that I can’t read my paperwork. WHAT DOES THIS SAY??? Now the ugly people don’t look so bad. Why? Because in an instant, they are all blurry and all the ugliness gets rubbed away.

You know when everything is blurry, everyone looks the same. I see no differences in anybody. I wonder what the world would be like if we all saw things blurry. No more conflicts over minor issues because we wouldn’t be able to see them because they would all be blurry. Designer clothes would look like bargain clothes so the rich and the not so rich would also look the same.

Oh and since my vision is impaired, I can’t see any spelling mistakes in this post.

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Suing is BAD. Must remember that.

It always pisses me off when bad things happen to good people. Someone I know just lost her job and I’m pissed. The worst thing I believe is the way it happened. I’m not going to go into details because I respect everyone’s privacy but the same thoughts keep coming into my head. SUE THE BASTARDS.

I remember awhile back when a friend of a friend who was a consultant (not my Dad, nope) lost his extended contract with a client. They cancelled without cause and it got ugly with court crap. I’m not going to mention more about that either.

Alright, ‘Sue the Bastards’ may not necessarily be the best advice. It’s reactionary and hostile, but at the same time, we as employees have rights as well. There are laws that are mean to protect the individual, at least in Canada.

I’m feeling a tad bit lost right now in this post because after finding out about my ‘friend’. I feel horrible. I feel horrible because there is nothing I can do to help. After I got my degree, I promised myself that I gain the power to help my friends in need. Now it’s years later and that hasn’t happened yet. I have a plan for my financial independence and I just added another percentage of my pay to my retirement plan at work but still. It’s going to take years until I get to that point.

Now that I think about it, I have another friend who was getting screwed around at work but she managed to transfer departments before it got too bad.

Actually I had problems like that once with a boss. I even remember saying to him, “I’m an individual, not a resource”.

I find myself looking for the right thing to say, the right piece of advice, the right answer and still all that comes to my mind is “SUE THE BASTARDS”.

All I can do is send this person my best, say a prayer for them (did I ever mention that I was raised Catholic?) and hope for the best.

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My Mommy is coming to visit me

It’s Monday and my feel hurt. I have new shoes. New steel toes shoes and its going to take a few days of wearing them for my feet to get comfortable with them, but enough about my shoes. On Friday, my parents are coming to visit. They’re going to be staying with me for a few days. I haven’t seen my parents since my sister’s wedding last August.

Now I’m glad that my parents are coming to visit but I have this one problem. My mom is a major neat freak. Actually’ it’s more of an obsession. So now I need to book the day before she arrives off and tidy up. I don’t mean a general clean up, I’m taking removing the fruit drawer from the fridge and wiping it. I’m talking rewashing all my pots and pans (even the clean ones). For the record, this isn’t a visit, it’s an inspection.

Ok maybe, I’m not being fair here. On the other hand, if I don’t make sure everything is perfect, then she will never sit down. She will pick stuff up. She will dust. She will wipe everything down. She will drive me crazy. Did I mention that I’m looking forward to their visit?

I’ve booked some time off of work to spend with my parents since they will be in town till next Thursday, but they will only stay with me till Monday, then after that they head to a Hotel, which is being paid for by my Dad’s company. He’s the thing. My dad is in town to take a course and they decided to both come down and make it a work/social visit, which is real cool. Mommy said she would cook for me. She even said that she would bring some home made Perogies that she made with the Ukrainian women in the town she now lives in.

So expect a fair bit of ‘My Mommy this” and “My Mommy” that post next week.

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The Clip of the Week.

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Photo Friday (Drive with Caution Because...)

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Bloggers Block

I couldn’t think of anything to write about so instead I posted the lyrics to “Kung Fu Fighting”. Enjoy.

Everybody was kung-fu fighting.
Those cats were fast as lightning.
In fact it was a little bit frightning.
But they fought with expert timing.

They were funky China men from funky Chinatown.
They were chopping them up and they were chopping them down.
It's an ancient Chineese art and everybody knew their part.
From a feint into a slip, and kicking from the hip.

Everybody was kung-fu fighting.
Those cats were fast as lightning.
In fact it was a little bit frightning.
But they fought with expert timing.

There was funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung.
He said here comes the big boss, lets get it on.
We took a bow and made a stand, started swinging with the hand.
The sudden motion made me skip now we're into a brand knew trip.

Everybody was kung-fu fighting.
Those cats were fast as lightning.
In fact it was a little bit frightning.
But they did it with expert timing.

(repeat)..make sure you have expert timing.
Kung-fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning

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An Open Letter to Hugh

Hugh, I still have this goat in my apartment and he’s making a huge mess. The goat is eating my furniture, ordering pay per view and painting my appliances. I want this goat gone. Last night the goat was kicked out of the mall for eating pants at the Gap, and pooping in the food court. DID I MENTION THE GOAT POOP?

Here’s the deal. My parents are going to visiting next weekend and I need this goat out of here by next WEDNESDAY. I need a few days to clean up his mess (and he’s a really messy goat). If not I’m going to get rid of him. He’s been complaining that he wants to live on the beach by the ocean and if you don’t get ride of him, I’m going to send him to a lovely community by the Ocean, THE ARTIC OCEAN.

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The Aristocrats

Over the weekend I rented The Aristocrats from Canflix.(Screw Zip, Canflix rules) It’s basically about a joke that comics tell each other. It goes like this.

A family consisting of man, his wife, his son, his daughter and a dog walks into a talent agent’s office and say “Sir, we have a great act that you have to see.” The agent responds, “I never book family acts, they’re not popular”. Then man then pleads, “Sir, give us 4 minutes to prove ourselves, you will be amazed.” The agent, being a bit of a softy agrees, “Ok 2 minutes but that’s it”.

Then man then CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED. The wife then CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED. The son then CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED with the daughter. Then CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED with a 6 inch replica of the Empire State Building. Then CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED with a Barry Manilow CD. Next CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED with a picture of Gilbert Godfrey. Then CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED the desk. After which CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED purple shoes. Then suddenly CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED with a bottle of tobasco sauce. Then the son CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED a banjo.

After the agent stares in awe at what he saw. That’s incredible. What do you call yourselves. To which the father answers “The Aristocrats”

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The Clip of the Week.

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Photo Friday (ARGHHH I'VE GONE BLIND!!!!)

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I was Tagged

Vics tagged me which is a good thing or else I would have went on about the 2 Quebec families and the Tim Horton's thing.

2 names you go by:
Computer Geek.
Big Guy

2 parts of your heritage:
English
French

2 things that scare you:
Lack of success in life.
Richard Simmons

2 of your everyday essentials:
Pepsi (Big Surprise)
2 Hours of City of Heroes

2 things you are wearing right now:
Blue long sleeve shirt
Black PANTS !!!

2 favorite bands or musical artists:
Linkin Park
Evanescence

2 things you want in a relationship:
Love
Money

2 truths:
Knight Rider was a kids show.
Pamela Anderson’s success is a result of her boobs.

2 things that appeal to you in a woman:
Witty
Smart (I HATE DUMB PEOPLE)

2 things you want really badly:
A Big Ass HDTV
A high-rise condo overlooking the city.

2 places you want to go on vacation:
UK
Japan

2 things you want to do before you die:
Go back to New York and visit ground zero.
Make prank phone calls with James Earl Jones

2 stores where you shop:
Old Navy
Best Buy

2 people I'm tagging:

April (because she’s back)
Hugh (because he’s back)

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The URl that never was.

A little while ago, I pondered the idea of buying my own domain. I though it would be cool to own my own domain. People tying www.whatever.com to visit my site. The problem was that www.whatever was owned by someone else. So I sat down and did a list of domains that I might want to own and headed to GoDaddy to see if they were available. This is the result of my search and my thinking.

whogivesaratsass.com was taken. Plan and simple. I though who gives a rat’s ass would be cool. Let’s face it; I’m not trying to define mankind here.

shirtlessfatguys.com was also taken. I just thought that naming my website after a bunch of fat guys without shirts going ‘Huh’ would have been cool.

iloveboobies.com was taken. No fancy explanation. I just love boobies.

pullmyfinger.com was not available. A domain that refers to underleg noises shouldn’t be taken too seriously

istomcruisenuts.com is gone. I guess the jumping on Oprah’s couch and all the nut job babbling he’s been doing pretty well answers that question.

thetoiletoverflowed.com is available. I thought, at last. A domain name is available but do I want my website associated with water coming from a toilet? Back to the drawing board.

Ihavebadhair.com is taken. Guess that I’m not the only one with bad hair.

ilovegilbertgodfrey.com is available. I guess this mean not everyone a Gilbert Godfrey fan. I still believe that he is the most underappreciated comic of our time. I remember seeing him at the Hugh Heffner roast and he’s complaining that he was the last roaster and how Ice T ripped off his act but he was going to do it anyway. He then said “I’m going kill you white mother fuckers and rape some of you white bitches” All this from a tiny Jewish guy.

spandexplusfatsguysequalsyuck.com is available and is a public service announcement, not a blog.

whataloadofcrap.com pretty well describes my blog BUT is taken.

someonegetthisgoatoutofhere.com is available and is a cry for help. SOMEONE GET THIS GOAT OUT OF MY APARTMENT. Beer and newspaper is not a good meal.

So right now my options are limited so I’ll stay put for now. The price is right.(I like free) so don’t worry bout me moving.

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Found it a Rosevibe

K. Restoule -- [noun]: A Well Ballanced Person who always makes the wrong decision 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Bad French

So I’m on my way to work and I’m hearing some people talking in French on the bus. I’ve actually surprised by this because I usually hear Mandarin or Punjabi and I hear the words ‘le Wal-Mart’. Now I know I’m currently an Albertan, which means that I’m suppose to be a red neck but hearing ‘le Wal-Mart’ just pisses me off. I keep hearing about how Quebecers are proud of their language and then I hear ‘le Wal-Mart’. There’s a term for that kind of talk. I call it Pepe La Pew French. Where I hear common French terms like ‘Le stink to High Heaven’. So in honor of the bad French out there, I will now list some of my favorite ‘Le Pew’ French Terms.


Le Hot Wings at Hooters.

Le Gap

Le Mall

Le Expressway

Le Porno

Le Large Boobs

Le Pack of Smokes

Le Drunken Bastard.

Le Wrestling

Le Piece of Ass.


As you can see, it’s pretty simple. Now everyone can speak Pepe La Pew French.

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Tales from the Great White North: The Podcast

Tales from the Great White North: Podcast #17.

The Goat is back and I need help.

No show notes. Click Icon to listen to podcast.



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What if the Simpsons were real people?

Ever wonder that? Well not anymore. Check this link out.

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Photo Friday (So that's where new snowmen come from)

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What about my rights?

I’m so sick of this crap. Once again, the rights of a minority overshadow the rights and safety of the majority. Last time I checked, kids WERE NOT ALLOW TO CARRY WEAPONS INTO SCHOOLS. I just read how a Sikh child is now allowed to wear is ceremonial dagger to school. So people are not allowed to wear these things on airplanes, in some of our courtrooms but a school? That’s fine? Where’s the logic?

Now I understand how import it is to respect the rights of other people, but when these beliefs force us to change our beliefs and our ways I have a serious problem. Especially when it involves children carrying weapons to school. Does this mean that if I claim to be of the Church of Schwarzenegger, I can claim that my religion requires me to carry a survival knife and an Uzi 9mm Sub machinegun? What about my rights? There are clubs in this city that have metal detectors at the door now. Some U.S. schools have metal detectors but this kid is allowed to carry a dagger? BULLSHIT.

What I want to know is would our beliefs get the same sort of respect in the homeland of these people who now make Canada home? Somehow I doubt it. Oh and where does it stop? Before Christmas I saw a man walking with a woman in the mall. She was covered head to toe. She was completely covered, including her face. I just wanted to walk up to the guy she was with and say “Hey Asshole, you can’t make her wear that here. She has rights and isn’t a piece of property you small pricked control freak”, but I didn’t because I’m Canadian and I respect the rights of people from other countries, even though I think they just a bunch of assholes.

I’m just sick of how these people think we have to roll over and kiss their ass while they piss all over us. Last Christmas, we weren’t allowed up put up Christmas decorations up at work because it might offend some people of other cultures. WELL GUESS WHAT. I WAS OFFENDED BY THAT. I walk around hearing different languages in the workplace, knowing that they are talking about management in a not so nice manor and we can’t do anything about it because they have to right to speak in their native tongue.

BOTTOM LINE IS WHEN IS SOMEONE GOING TO STAND UP FOR MY RIGHTS? The problem is if I do, I end up looking like some white hooded white supremists? I’m either ‘The Establishment’ , ‘ A Caring Canadian’ or’ AN ASSHOLE’. I just to know how far is this going to go.

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My Delicious bookmarks

Over the weekend I made a nasty discovery. I’ve discovered that something had eaten most of my bookmarks. Needless to say, I’M NOT A HAPPY CAMPER. These bookmarks of my web surfing have been collected over the years of me surfing on the Interweb and now most of them are lost. I still have some left but…the mass majority of them have disappeared. So as a result, I’ve decided to move my bookmarks ONLINE. From now on, I’m keeping all my bookmarks on Del.icio.us (I hate trying to figure out where all the dots are supposed to go.), so as a side effect (and a good one at that) I’m now able to share all my bookmarked sites with you.

Another feature I’ve also noticed is that Delicious will also let you know who else has bookmarked that site and you can check out their links. I could see that 2 other people have bookmarked Miss Jay’s blog and 2 other people bookmarked Vics blog. So I added my blog and ZERO other people have bookmarked Tales from the Great White North, I thought ‘Oh well’ and I continued to add my favorite blogs onto delicious and some had other people bookmarking that site and some didn’t. Then I discovered that My Secret Geek Blog was on someone else’s bookmark. My regular blog which I update several times a week (I’m going back to daily, honest), had no other links but my Geek Blog which I update twice a month if I’m lucky had another link. WHAT THE HECK!! Is it my breath? Is it time to change templates? Is it my shitty podcasts with me breathing into the mike like Darth Vader?

Anyway from now on, I’ll be sharing my links. From the blogs, to the webcomics to the City of heroes crap. Oh and all the tech news anyone can stomach. So check out my Delicious page

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