Thursday, May 17, 2007

The elevator is MINE.

I have a confession to make. If you’re in the elevator with me in my building, then I hate you. I despise you and I think you’re the scum of the earth; with the possible exception of hot women.

I’ve discovered that I hate sharing the elevator with people I don’t know. If someone comes onto my elevator, (YES IT’S MINE !!!) and they push a button that’s below me, then I hate them because they’re slowing me down. I hate to wait for them to get off their floor. As well I’m better than them because I live ABOVE them. On the other hand, if they live above me then I REALLY hate them because they think they’re better than me because they live on a higher floor. They think that they’re better than me? We’ll I have news for them THEY’RE NOT !!!!. However I’m still better than the people who live on floors below me.

Oh another thing, if Elevator Small-Talk Tony from that Diet 7up commercial shows up in my elevator, then he’s a dead man. If he says, “does the door close button actually do anything” I’m going to kick his ass. I don’t want to hear any damn small talk in my elevator because if your in my elevator I HATE YOU, unless you’re a babe.

Ok, there are 3 elevators in my building and unless you’re going to the same floor as me, then GET OUT. I don’t want to share that small space with you. Unless your cute, then how about a hug?


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