I'm dreaming stories

Over the weekend, I had this dream. It was more like I was watching a movie..or something like that. The main character was a teenage boy, maybe 16 years old. From what I remember, he was on his own; a runaway perhaps, I’m not sure. He was typical expect for one thing, he has the power to reverse time.

What I remember is that he did it to prevent someone from dying. Again, I don’t remember much, but I also know that because he used this power to save someone’s life. He was prevented from meeting someone. I think she was his “soul mate”. I don’t remember much except that she also had a power, but I don’t know what it was, and that she dyed her hair purple.

I also remember an older man, who was trying to recruit the “soul mate” into some sort of secret society, a society of super powered individuals; a group that wants to do good.

I wish I could remember more, but most of it faded away when I woke up.

I’ve always had a love for super heroes, maybe to the point that I’m starting to dream stories about super powered beings. I just wish I could remember the whole story. I think it would be interesting.

My 2 Bytes.

Photo Friday

This guy's childhood must have been a living hell

Who thought of this?

Has this ever happened to you? You’ve met someone, things are going well. You’re in the process of treating your lady companion to some cunnilingus and it’s not going so well, because you have to keep to coming up for air, and because of this, she’s get frustrated because she’s “so close” and thinks you’re being a pain. All the while you’re gasping for breath. Let’s face it, in today’s modern world, not being able to bring a woman to orgasm an attack on your manhood. You need to be able to prove that you can do, the job and do it right. So what do you do to help with the breathing problem? That’s where the Pussy Snorkel comes in. Put this device on and you’ll be able to lick all day and still be able to breath, and she’ll than you for it.

Now seriously, I want to know who invented this thing. Also what I want to know is why does the picture show a woman wearing the thing? Is that the lesbian model? Why does she have her tongue sticking out? Is she planning to do a demonstration?

I know that cunnilingus is serious busy and nothing pisses a woman off more than a guy who doesn’t know what the hell they are doing. Oh and guys, don’t think that watching pornos will educate you on what to do. My advice…READ A DAMN BOOK. You’d be surprised on what you learn, and guess what; most of those books are written by women, and I’d rather get an informed opinion on the subject as opposed to getting my ideas from wanking material.

I’ll be honest, I would feel a little silly wearing this thing, never mind what the woman would thing. It would be like she was getting “eaten out” by a super villain or something. I’ve never tried the thing, but I prefer to breath out of my mouth as opposed to my nose. Also, let’s be honest, during these session, there’s a lot of excitement by both parties, and I seriously doubt that this thing can supply enough oxygen for the wearer and nothing would be more embarrassing that having the “licker” pass out with their faces in the “lickees” Hoo Hoo.

Maybe I’m just not taking that task as seriously as I should be.

My 2 bytes

Uggg, Stupid Parents.

When I first read this, I just shook my head. This is more proof that we need to start the Vasectomies now, even though it might be too late. I’ve heard of parents arguing about how to raise their children. They’re concerned about things like what faith the child should be raised in. Should they encourage the child to be more creative, of to be more physical, but to argue what gang their child should join?, I say get that kid away from his parents and fix both parents.

Now I never really had that issue growing up. The only issue I had was that my parents FORCED me to finish my supper, even when I wasn’t hungry (but that’s another story). Does a four year old need that kind of pressure? Does a four year old need to consider if he should join the Westside Ballers, or the Crips? I just hope that someone has enough sense to get that kid out of that home. At four years old, the child has a chance.

It’s stuff like this that makes me wish that people should require a permit to have a child. It’s obvious that these people are unfit to be parents. We seriously need to do some investigating into how to regulate child conception. Right now, some people have kids to get more money for their welfare cheques. What we need to do is create a medical procedure that would put a lock of a man’s ability to …create that mess. Oh for the record, I’m blaming the males (yes my side). Guys are the ones who do their thing and then leave the women in “the state”. Some of them don’t take their responsibilities seriously. They just want to get their rocks off. What we need to do is look at the possibility of giving a vasectomy (the reversible kind) to all males once they hit 12 years old, and if they want to be a father, they need to prove that they can be responsible enough to handle fatherhood. This would help out a lot of women, and keep the gene pool clean of people who fight over what gang their 4 year olds should join.

Ok I know this view is a little extreme, but look at what is going on out there. There are some real stupid people out there and it’s going to get worse before it gets better. We need to fix this problem before it’s too late.

Now I know I’ve gone on and on about this and people are starting to roll their eyes but I see it all the time. You would not believe the amount of people I see who can’t understand the concept of being buzzed into the building. They push the door bell, I push to buzz them in and they grab the door look at me, like I’m suppose to do something else. PULL THE DOOR OPEN YOU DUMB ASSES.

Oh and while I’m typing this, a woman shows up to apply for a job, and she asks me to photocopy her resume for her. I figure sure, she probably wants to add it to her application, but she asks me for 5 copies. SHE DOESN’T NEED 5 COMPIES. WERE NOT KINKOS DAMMIT.

I keep seeing the decline of western civilization and I’m really worried. It’s like those 60’s and 70’s science fiction movies with the bad ending. I can picture myself running through the streets in 10 years screaming. “SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OUT OF STUPID PEOPLE”.

My 2 Bytes

It might seem like a good idea, but...

As you may (or may not know), I’ve taken on a second job at a Safeway in Calgary, I work in file maintenance, which means I put up signs for sales and related stuff. I normally don’t have to interact with the customers directly, so I watch them from the corner of my eye. I’ve observed many types of people, but one group I find particularly interesting, the gay couples that come into the store. They always seem happy, well dressed and well groomed, and life seems to be good for them. So I’m thinking that maybe being gay isn’t so bad.

First of all, like I said, they are well groomed. We’re not talking the fat, smoking trucker type here. I’m not saying that they’re all Fabios or Brad Pitts but they do look good and fashionable. Oh and they have nice hair.

The same can be said for their clothes. The always wear stylish clothes. I would never see these guys in a toque and a flannel shirt (though, they are uniquely Canadian). They dress really well. That’s the whole point of that Queer Eye for the Straight guy show. Those guys know how to dress and I wouldn’t mind having them raid my closet. They would probably get rid of the old sweaters that my mom gave me. Let’s face it people, fat guy plus a sweater is not a pretty thing. To be honest, I would prefer to get that advice from a guy man as opposed to a woman, especially a girlfriend. If I received that advice from a female, then I would feel like that she’s dressing me to meet her satification, almost like when my mom would buy me clothes when I was a kid. I wouldn’t feel like that from a gay man however. As long as he knew that I was straight.

I’ve also noticed that gay men (at least the ones I see at the store) are always in shape. It might be from eating habits, that they work out or both. I always find it interesting that when two men shop together, they are usually looking for specific ingredient, spices, sauces, and especially yogurt and pasta. I’m sure they have “fabulous” meals. Far better than what I can make.

Now while being a gay man does have many positives there are some negatives that I just can’t get over.

First of all, I don’t want any foreign objects inserted in my anus. I’ve seen some of those movies where women seem to like it, but I’m reasonability sure that they’re faking it. Well, 9 out of 10 are faking it.

Second of all, I can’t bring myself to touch a man’s deal. Never mind, putting it in my….never mind. I don’t mind doing stuff with my …ummm.,, to a woman, but I cannot polish a knob. I’m not going to happen.

Also, I can’t stick my “deal” into something that has facial hair, a hairy chest and or testicles. I do not want to feel a moustache again my body, and I’m not sticking my “deal” into an output.

Oh and finally, I remember my mom telling me over and over again, that “how do you know that you don’t like it, if you’ve never even tasted it”, but I refuse to try semen. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

So while there are some benefits to the gay lifestyle, I’ve decided that overall, it would be a pain in the ass, so I’ll stick to my breast fetish.

My 2 Bytes