I hate Berets.

On Sunday I saw one of those guys who really piss me off. You know, the beret wearing, beard toting, pony tailed assholes. The pompous left wing know-it-all assholes. The tofu eating shit heads. You’d think that I’m biased or something. I never said a word to this guy but I hate him. I hate him because he’s an asshole. How do I know he’s an asshole if I never meet him or even spoke a single word to this guy? Simple, the international simple for asshole is a black beret and a pony tail.

As soon as I saw this guy I had this urge to start talking about stuff like “I support our troop”, or “we should do more oil exploration in the far north”, just to set this guy off. I just love pissing these guys off because they go on and on about how right they are without even considering the possibility that they’re wrong. They’re the type who go on about how we should respect other cultures and ignore the fact that in some society’s women are treated like property. They say that they’re against the exploitation of the third world while they use a marker to hide the “Nike” logo on their shoes. (My personal favorite was when this one girl tries to convince me that they were the same shoes that she had since she was 12. BULLSHIT).

I really hate those people because of their arrogance. I remember a few years back when they had the G8 conference, just outside of the city, some protesters were going to try and trash a McDonalds as a protest. HEY ASSHOLES, trashing a McDonald’s isn’t a form a protest, IT’S A CRIME. Luckily the police knew about it ahead of time and created a barricade with their mountain bikes. Then the police arrested the asshole who tried to grab one of the bikes.

Perhaps I should be clear about something. I do not hate these people because of their views. I can respect someone who has a different view than mine. What I despise is the arrogance they have. I despise their inability to listen to other views. I despise their hypocrisy. They claim to be the most tolerant people in the world until you disagree with them and WHAMO; they become the most intolerant hypocrites on the face of the earth. I’d like to blame the lack to meat in their diets but the so-called religious right is just as bad.

So on one side we have the granola eating beret wearing mother fuckers and on the other side, we have self righteous bible toting fuck heads. I hate them all.

What was I going to talk about again? Oh yeah, take that beret and shove it up your ass.

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A Quickk Yadda Yadda

I'm not blogging because I'm still in pain from the dentist thing. Oh I went back because I was still in pain and they say that there's an infection, so they gave me some prescriptions. I should be ok in a few days.

Oh good news, I've passed all the checks for the Credit Card processors. Now they have to set up my account, which should take ANOTHER week. D'oh, but after that, I should be good to go UNLESS they're something else they failed to tell me.

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The Clip of the Week

Photo Friday (Umm maybe I won't ask one of them out)

I found this on Digg and I thought it should be shared. Teenage girls going for Ice Cream while carrying assault rifles. Only in Israel.

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More Questions i wanrt answered

Here are some more questions that I want answered.

Why did that guy in the “MacArthur Park” leave the stupid cake in the rain and why didn’t he write down the recipe cause he will never have that recipe again?

Why won’t my mouth heal fast after getting a tooth pulled?

Is Joe Cartoon still cool?

Why does even the mention of the “IPhone” piss me off?

Where does Steve Jobs buy his sweaters?

Why are they charging kids with sexual harassment?

Will the Credit Card processor company ever get their shit in gear? If I would have gone with Paypal, I would have been live for a couple of weeks now.

Why some of the DVD’s I’ve been getting from Zip.ca have scratches in them?

Why won’t the hole where my tooth was heal any faster?

Why do I feel out of touch with the rest of the world?

Why do some people enjoy being spanked?

If there would have been a fourth member of Earth, Wind and Fire, would have been named Water?

Why do I think a ranting Denis Leary is the coolest thing on the planet?

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Owww

The Dentist pulled a tooth yesterday and all I can say is OWWWW. I wish that I can get my mouth pumped with the freezing stuff again, so I won't feel the OWWWW.

I have this theory. I believe that all dentists today were inspired by Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors.

It's strange, but I wanted to see what the hole in my mouth looked like, so with the help of my camera phone (and the flash inside my camera phone) I managed to get a decent shot at the damage, and let me tell you YUCK !!! Oh I'm not posting the picture because it's (a) disgusting, (b) a pucture inside my mouth (which is disgusting) and (c) you can also see up my nose.

The strange thing is that since I managed to see the gapping whole, I no longer have an unconscious need to pick at it with my tongue and thus, it doesn't hurt as much anymore (though it might be the Motrin that's making it not hurt as much)

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Clip of the Week, (Special Edition)

I just want to see all the Apple Fanboys cry.

Oh and you can buy the "blended" IPhone on Ebay

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The Clip of the Week (Heat Fozzy)

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Photo Friday (Find the secret message)

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More HR Person

I feel a need to explain the whole crazed HR thing. It all started when I was writing something on the back of a post card. She asked me who I was sending the card to, and I explained my desire to drive someone insane by constantly sending this person mail. It was soon after that I disclosed the blog to this person. Now normally I would never disclosed the existence of my blog to anyone at work, (with a few exceptions) but this person and I tend think on the same wavelength, (though no matter how many times she requests it, she’s not getting a pink laptop), but sometimes her imagination get’s the best of her.

Soon after this person starting looking at my blog and my links she started talking about an episode of Law and Order and how I was going to end up dead. She apparently believes that when I meet someone in my blogroll, it’s going to result in my demise.

The last thing I want to do is make fun of the HR person (but I’m going to anyway) but I do not believe that anyone on my blogroll holds any malice for me. I believe that everyone on my blogroll are kind hearted and I wish the best from them I’m confident that they are not out to kill me. So the HR person is acting a little crazy, but also had a kind heart, despite our mutual hatred of stupid people.

The only problem is that she’s constantly trying to set me up with someone. She’s playing the “miss matchmaker” thing a little too far. Once upon a time I had Dr. Cheryl worrying about this but HR person is worse. Also the HR person wants my business to succeed to I can by her a BMW convertible. The more I think about it, the more I think that the danger is coming from the HR person (insert Dramatic music here).

Oh good news, the credit card processing thing had been resolved, at least the part with the bank. They did request a minor change to the site, which I have done. Now hopefully I’ll go able to go “live” by the beginning of next week.

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The Crazed HR person

A few days ago, I was chatting with one of the HR people in the office (there’s only 2 of them actually, the Grand Poobah in change or all of Western Canada and the Calgary person), anyway she I accidentally mentioned my blog. BIG MISTAKE !!! Now she’s been checking the blog out quite a bit and she’s been making to comments to me about it.

One thing she’s annoyed with that the blogs I link to are mostly women. My response is they are good writers and their blogs interest me. Then she asks me if any of them are my girlfriend. Then she said they shouldn’t be my girlfriend. Meanwhile she had tried to set me with TWICE, not knowing that the women she wanted to “hook” me up with were married.

Perhaps I should describe her to everyone. She seems like a very nice person (and she is), but there’s a self confessed “Mean Girl” inside, and when the mean girl is released, LOOK OUT. She can say some nasty things. It’s a Jekyll/Hyde thing, I swear it. One moment she’s talking about taking her little brother out to a movie and being the nice big sister, and the next moment she’s beating people with a baseball bat with a big metal spike sticking out of it (Ok maybe not that bad, but, I’m sure she was a creative consultant for the Mean Girls movie).

Don’t get me wrong, I think the world of her (and I’m not saying this just because I know she’s going to read this post), and even I have my ‘mean” moments but wow!!! I had no idea that she could be such a poop disturber.

Now that I think about it, this could simply be a standard HR trait. I’ve always been convinced that the majority of people who work in HR went to the Catbert School of Human Resources. The main prerequisite being that you must hate people. Before I meet the current HR people here (and 2 other people), I always figured that HR people were evil and constantly messed up stuff on purpose. Now I know the truth. HR people, like me hate dumb people. It’s either that or they have to be nice to me since I’m IT now.

So this is my official warning to everyone. A crazed HR person is now checking out my blog and she might make some comments about me, or the other commenters, but don’t worry. I know how to calm her down. I’ll just take her to Macdonald’s or something

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Almost there, almost

Once again I discovered another hurdle with the credit card processing. I need to change my business account to a US funds account. Nice of these guys to tell me this. I'm starting to get red up with these guys. The site is functional, the bank has been very helpful, it's the damn credit card processing people. I'll be glad once these people are taken care of, and I'm able to go live. I've put so much into this thing. I've so close to victory that I can taste it. I just need this last piece of the puzzle to fit in the picture of me giving my employer the bird, and the piece doesn't want to fit. I keep telling myself that I'll know in the future. In the future I'll know how to deal with these clowns. I'll know how to get everything rolling. I'll be able to use that knowledge in the future.

What really surprises me is how unhelpful these guys are, and I'm going to be paying THEM, A monthly see and a transaction fee. You'd think they would be more helpful since I'm the customer. Now I know that your wondering why don't I switch companies? We'll the truth is that I've already prepaid these guys. Long story and it doesn't need to be talked about. Bottom line is that I know better.

Also, I want to thank Jay, Vics and Stef for their input on the site. Their input was extremely helpful and I've sent you all a "thank you" in the mail. Jay already got hers and she appears to like it.

So once again I'm shooting for the weekend for the "Official" Launch. Some of you have said that they would plug the site on their blogs, and I appreciate it. I'll thank them soon, after I'm at the point where I can travel and visit. Yes I said travel. I'm planning a trip to Toronto in the fall and Manchester in the late spring. I'm going to Toronto first since I won't need a passport. There's some really good people out there and I want to buy them a meal (and I was warned about Stef's bottomless stomach). It's just a small way of saying thanks.

I'll let everyone know how things go after this visit to the "Bank". I do need to say one thing though, The Bank has been really helpful during this, and I thought Banks were supposed to be the evil ones. Maybe Canadian Banks aren't as bad.

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Photo Friday (Why I've always been suspicious of Soccer fans)

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"The Office" my version

Jay said that I may have a Office Dilbert/Sage thing happening and perhaps she’s right. After all I would never question the wisdom of Canada’s finest blogger. Why she hasn’t appeared on The Hour, yet is beyond me. Apparently she has noticed my ability to see what office life is REALLY like. I believe that it’s time to test my theory.

I spent part of yesterday rearranging the stationary shelves. Bear in mind that I’m an IT person. At least I was able to get someone in the warehouse to throw the garbage out, so I didn’t have to leave the climate controlled comfort of the office. So from one moment I’m the IT Guru and then next I’m rearranging the office supplies. Meanwhile the ‘boss” keeps telling me “I know your IT but…” At least one of the HR people helped me, so it didn’t seemed like I was being singled out, but still…

I try not to talk about work because, let’s face it; very little people enjoy their jobs. If you enjoy what you do, you’re either self employed, making a six figure income or mentally challenged. There’s no other way around it. Working for someone else, sucks. That’s why I’m going to ‘go it alone”.

This is what I’ve noticed. There are two types of people, the people who whine about a situation and the time who do something about it. This place is FULL of people of people who whine. WAHH I DON’T WANT OVERTIME. WAHH I WANT OVERTIME. WAHH I WANT MORE MONEY.WAHH WAHH ME ME ME. I’ve experienced that level of frustration, but the difference is that I’ve done something about it. I went and earned a degree and now I’m starting my own business.

I’ve seen many types of management around here. We tend to got through managers like Paris Hilton goes through blank videotapes. I’ve seen the hand on micromanager, and the ivory tower manager and everything in between. Personally I despise the Ivory tower manager. This is a person who never leaves their office and only takes the word of the supervisor without looking at the facts. Personally I hate those types of people. One day after I have the business working, I hope to meet this guy and tell him how I really feel.

I really don’t like to blog about the work environment because to be honest, it’s not a pleasant thing to blog about. The office environment is just a stupid place to be. The movie “Office Space” got the whole work environment thing right. The manager who only talks and doesn’t listen and the guy in the far corner muttering about “setting the building on fire”. I might not be the person who wants to set the building on fire, but I know who that person is. Sometimes that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

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A new place to park my ...

I’m sitting in my new space, my new space, my new space in the front office with the managers. Some are saying that I’m moving up in the world. Instead I feel that I’m being watched. There are many people in the front office now and they can walk by and see my screen. It’s not like I’m surfing for porn at work, or anything bad, but now I can’t even check my Facebook page. I do not consider this to be moving up in the world. I consider this to be loss of privacy, so now I cannot goof off ...sort of.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s some goofing off, I just have to be more cautious about it. For example, I have to write my blog posts in Word now, too bad it won’t improve my grammar.

The other problem is that I’m right by the big ass copier/scanner/printer/fax machine. It’s not that there’s a problem with being right there. I’m not doing the “Making copies” thing Rob Schneider used to do on SNL, but now that I think about it, I just might start it with a few people. I’m fighting the urge to photocopy different parts of my body. The good thing is that it’s an open office environment and everyone could see if sticking my face on the copier (what were you thinking I was talking about?).

So now I have a new project to work on, Boss Key technology. Basically, it’s a Firefox extension (don’t ask) program that will hide my surfing whenever someone comes by. It’s not that I’m looking at Smut here, (which I’m not) but I not suppose to be checking my Facebook profile either (which I am doing).

The bad news is that the managers seem to arrive before I do and leave after I do. Ok guys, you work too hard, so do home and let me check my blogs.

I also picked up a new USB key for keeping my “personal” data, like my copy of Firefox. A 1Gig drive for $19.99 is a good deal in my opinion.

I’ve been writing this throughout the day and I keep loosing my train of thought. I don’t even know how to end this post. I can’t even remember what I wrote earlier in the day.

Oh yeah, Photocoping my ass.

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Weekend Yadda Yadda

I hate it when a weekend turns out to be just one lousy day and you end up spending that day doing errands. This is what happened. I get a phone call on Thursday afternoon from my mom. “Were coming down tomorrow to visit”. “WHAT!!!” So I had 24 hours to prepare for their visit. Originally they were just going to spend the night, but their other plans fell through and they ended up staying until Sunday.

Now I love my mom and dad, but the last minute visits do cause me some stress. My mom is a neat freak and she likes things done HER way. For example, she has totally rearranged my kitchen. That I can live with but she tried to do the same with my DVD shelves. She moved 2 box sets (Animanics Vol. 3, and Pinky and the Brain Vol. 3) to another shelf. I quickly put them back. I hope she got the message there.

Now my dad is a good guy but he’s a penny counter. They came down on the first weekend of Stampede and he didn’t want to spend a dime. I said I would pay their admission to the grounds, but my dad finally got the hint when I said “Dad’ you’re not spending all day in my place reading the paper, you could do this at HOME” Oh and I had to buy some fans ton help keep the apartment cool.

To be fair, they did bring me stuff, like plates and silverware from the fifth wheel trailer that they recently sold, but I also gave them my PVR. Of course my dad’s first question was “How much more is this going to cost me”. I had to tell him NOTHING. Just switch his satellite box with the PVR and switch his card over.

So I only had Sunday to do grocery shopping and see the Transformers movie. I thought it really good. Seeing Optimus Prime was the best part of the movie and that they got the same voice actor as in the cartoon made it perfect. There were some cliché’s though like the soldier who had never seen his newborn daughter yet, but the movie is worth seeing in the theatres.

The other BIG problem was that I didn’t have time to work on the website. SIGH

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The Clip of the Week (Stampede Fireworks)

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Photo Friday (It's ME !!!!...sorta)

I made this at The Simpsons Movie website. Your suppose to be able to download them but i could get it to work, so I hit the PrintScreen button (PRTSCN) to copy and use a paint program (I recomend Paint.net) to paste it. The I cropped it and TAA DAA, Me as a Simpson Character.

The Clip of the Week (Special Edition)

Alright, here's the truth. I've been working so much on the site that I forgot to post something today. So in a half assed fashion, I bring you the (drumroll please) THE DRAMATIC CHIPMUNK.

This little clip has been kicking around the 'net' for a bit. If you haven't seen it, enjoy, if you have, TOO FRIGGIN BAD.


You can find more of this overacting chupmunk here
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Why didn't i think of that?

There’s this guy in Winnipeg, He’s a real entrepreneur. He’s a really smart guy. He’s had combined two of my favorite things into a great business idea. Pizza and pornography (oh maybe not my absolute FAVORITE things). This guy has set up a delivery-only Pizza business called Porno Pizza. How this works is quite simple; on the bottom of the box, where there’s usually a piece of cardboard, now sits a pornographic image. Oh and you need to be years or older to order from this place.

From what I hear, the images can range in “substance” from Playboy-like to some really nasty stuff. After reading the article, I learned that the vast majority of his customers are women. So women are ordering the nasty pizzas. I’ve always known that women were closet perverts. Either that or Winnipeg has a high Lesbian population.

Once of my theory is that they are messing around with their boyfriends heads. A guy grabs a slice, and then sees part of the image and says “I didn’t order beaver with this pizza”, or suddenly discovering that the pizza came with “extra sausage”.

Of course there are some sour people out there saying that “Children will be exposed to the pornography” and “It’s sinful and wrong”. All I can say about this is that people can always order pizza from somewhere else and these days children can find porn on the Internet so easily, so I’m not buying their arguments. I just think they have lousy lovers and if they can’t enjoy sex then they don’t want anyone else to enjoy it either. That’s just a theory though.

If you really think about it, this business is just a new take on the classic bit when the pizza guy ends up delivering more than just the pizza. You know, the women answers the door and the guy says, here’s you pizza and here’s you pepperoni, and then the cheesy music starts. So there always has been a connection between pizza and smut.

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I attempted the "Stairs of Death" again

I tried to walk up the stairs to my apartment again. I tried to walk up 28 flights of stiars. The last time I tried that was the fire alarm and I nearly died at the 14th floor. This time I made it to the 17th and I'm sure I could have gone on if I really pushed myself. I'm thinking that this could be a good workout. What does everyone else think?

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