No Friggin respect.

Someone posted a spam comment on the blog post talking about my dad dying. Some people have no shame. It's seriously disgusting.

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I have to go home.

My father passed away earlier this week. I feel horrible. I've been able to keep it out of my mind most of the time, but today I have to face reality head on. I'm not looking forward to it.

After my last blog post, I took a look at how many airmiles I had saved and it turns out that I had enough for one more flight, so I booked it. I could only get a flight to Toronto. My sister-in-law has to pick me up at the airport before we endure a 4 hour drive with my nephews.

The whole idea of being an uncle has always seemed foreign to me. I guess that's the advantage of living thousands of kilometers away from family. Isolating myself over the going ons of family. Over the years I've heard about things going on back home. People getting married, people splitting up, people having kids, and people dying. I've always been able to take that information and file it under whatever, but not this time. This time reality is bitch slapping me in the face. I'm not sure how I'm going to hold out.

If you're wondering why I'm not writing about my dad, it's quite simple. I'm in a public place and I don't want to break down and start sobbing in an airport terminal. Whenever I think about him, after a few minutes later the reality sinks in

GAWD DAMMIT ENOUGH OF THE DAMN PAGES AT THE AIRPORT THEY WON'T STOP AND ITS TOO LOUD.

I'm having a hard enough time writing this without hearing the 15th page for passenger Davis that he need to board his plane to Vancouver.

I'm not looking forward to facing the reality about this. I want to honor him in my blog, but I can't do it. Not now, not here in the terminal of an airport. I don't want strangers see me cry, though I doubt that would happen with the constant pages.

One thing I can say is, while I didn't agree with everything he said, and I do/did...have some dad issues, I still loved him, and he will be missed. I will miss him. I love you dad.

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I don't know.

I'm conflicted right now. I got some really bad news last night. It appears that my father's time in this world is coming to an end. They're measuring his time in weeks, and they're using prime numbers.

I have to get home, but my brief stint at unemployment has decimated my savings. I can't afford to fly home. I'm worried that if I take time off I won't have enough money to pay my rent. My sister is offering to cover my flight, but still...I'm ashamed of myself.

I should be with my family right now, but instead I'm thousands of kilometers away feeling ashamed of myself. I'm not where I should be. I think that it' time to reconsider moving back east to be closer to my family. Then I'll be closer to my family. Then again, I can't afford to move anywhere right now. Everything costs money and I don't have any of it. I just started putting money away again, and it's not going to cover a flight back east. I've only been working for a month. The good news is that there will still be a job waiting for me when I get back. The boss assured me of that when I spoke to her about it. She was very supportive.

Right now I'm still in denial over the whole thing, but then again, I've been in denial about the whole cancer thing. I never mentioned it because I was so far away, I could forget it. I can't do that anymore. I've been ignoring a few things lately, hoping they go away, but they never do.

...

I don't know anymore.

My 2 Bytes

Yes, I'm being vague, and all over the place.

Well....I got nothing...that I can talk about right now. Certain people might be reading my stuff, and I don't want to take any chances.

I realize that it's going to take awhile to bring everyone back, and certain other people who were my regulars also seemed to have blog faded.

I had some personal crap last Thursday, and Friday, which is why I didn't blog, but I'm here again.

Something is suppose to happen today, but I now have the feeling that it's not going to happen, and I've yet to receive ANY feedback from this person. Well because of this, I'm continuing to loose faith in that person, and it's making a possible choice even easier.

I need to wear the smaller sized pants that I own. I put on the ones that are a size higher, and they make my ass look huge. I know I have a fat guy ass, but there are things I can do to minimize the "IT'S COMING RIGHT AT US, RUN" effect it can have with people, and wearing the larger sized pants is a no no.

I've changed the title of this blog post 4 times so far. I can't make up my mind what ti call this drivel. It's definitely a yadda yadda, but I'm not going to call it that.

With all the talk of 3DTV, when will 3D porn be appearing. I'm not sure I like the idea of having to duck at the end of the movie.

If some things work out the way I'd like them too, I might still be able to go to London this year, but things, don't work out perfectly with me often.

I predict that I'll be buying a Star Wars Bluray box set when it comes out in late 2011. I've bought these movies 3 times so far. I'm really stupid. Then again, I've bought Lord of the Rings, twice, and the Star Trek movies twice as well. I can see myself buying the Star Trek movies a third time.

I still need to win the lottery, so life can be my bitch for a change.

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I'm going somehwere tonight.

Last night I learned about a information seminar to be held today for getting my MBA at the local university. I know I can do the classes at night, and I don't plan on going for a few years. I refuse to do the student loan thing again, so I won't be starting this process for a at least 2-3 years, but I will do it, because when I set my mind to something I do it. It just takes time. Even the book is taking longer than expected, but I am working on it.

I'm working in a place where you see a lot of smart people and people in big offices, and right now I work in a dark hole where there's no sunlight. Then again, IT people aren't suppose to like sunlight.

Bottom line, I'm going as far as I would like to, in this position. I want more in life. Is that wrong?

So tonight I'm going to spend 2 hours in some meeting room at the Chamber of Commerce meeting some people, and listening to some crap about whatever. I'm not sure if I'll enjoy it, but it's definitely stuff I need to know.

Other than that....I got nothing.

My 2 Bytes.

A problem with my eyes

I have this problem with my eyes. I've had it since I was 13, and while I've been battling with this problem all my adult life. I can't seem to overcome this problem. My eyes always stare at cleavage, and I can't stop them from doing it.

I can be walking down the street, minding my own business, then suddenly I see cleavage, I can't see anything else. I just can't stop looking at it. I could end up walking into traffic, and get hit by a car. This is a real problem. I could be trying to have a conversation with someone and then suddenly...I'm staring at cleavage. I can't stop my eyes from doing this.

I'm trying not to be disrespectful, honestly...it's just my eyes seem to have a mind of their own when it comes to this problem. They just look to stare at cleavage. Now for some reason, my eyes don't have any interest in bare breasts, (that's my brain). So I'm not sure what to do. I've been wearing sunglasses a lot in the summer so women can't see me staring at their cleavage, but still this is something I need to learn how to control.

Maybe if women just went out topless, then my eyes wouldn't get so excited over the cleavage anyone. There are places where this is allowed, and perhaps I need to move there. If there are exposed breasts everywhere, my eyes won't be locked on their cleavage anymore.

Now I need to test that theory. Maybe the local strip bar will help me with that?

My 2 Bytes.

The opportunites keep moving farther and farther, but not too far

I got another call today for a possible job. It's further towards the end of the city then where I am now, and I'd have to take a bus. YUCK. Then again... it's not a contract job. It's a real job and I would be secure.

I think this good be a good opportunity, and I perhaps this could be the one job that I get...other than the contract job which has no security, or benefits. Which is why I'm still looking elsewhere for work.

I looked at the job description again, and I didn't think that I would get a call back. I'm missing a small part of the requirements, but maybe I can get trained on the job. I have played with SQL in the past.

I'm not going to mention who the job is with...just that I hope this is the permanent job that comes through for me. I hate this contract thing...which wouldn't be so bad except I'm only guaranteed a job till the end of April. There's an option for more work...but it's just an option. I don't like staking my future on an "option".

I'd would like it if I got hired here, but at this point, I don't have a confirmation, so until then I'll keep looking for other jobs.

My 2 Bytes

I think I broke last years record

Ok 2009 was a miserable year for my blog. I completed a total of 21 blog posts for the ENTIRE FRIGGIN YEAR. I think it was because I was happy. I was working at a great place and didn't have anything to bitch or complain about. So after the great career crash of 2010, I started to blog again.

Right now, I'm doing contract work, and I'm hoping that it will last longer than expected. I'm doing pretty well, and I'm continuing to learn new skills, to add to my resume, and I figure this will add to my eventual goals of....lots of moneyhood. I'm still working on it.

I'm trying not to be miserable, but at the same time, I tend to worry about the future. The good news everyone seems to like me, and I have stepped up, and it looks like that I'll be here past the original end of contract date, which is good. I just wish I had some sense of security.

I've noticed that this place has gotten more seriously lately. I think I've lost my way again. I need to go back to denying my boob fetish, and stuff like that. That's what made Tales from the Great White North such a good read to the one or two people who read this crap.

Oh and one thing I need to get off my chest. THE CALGARY FLAMES NOT MAKING THE PLAYOFFS!!! WHAT A FRIGGING SURPRISE YOU DAMN SLACKERS. I blame the team, not the coach.

Ok I feel better now.

I do have a shameful confession to make. I'm following Kristie Alley on twitter. What happened to her? I used to think she was so hot, now she's just nasty. I don't mean her weight, I mean her attitude. Seriously...what the hell. Then again, if I was her, I'd be pissed off at the constant comments on her weight. That stuff can really hurt. Now that I think about it, I bet it was all those comments which have made her so harsh. Well maybe. I do remember that she's also a chain smoker.

I think this is turning into a yadda yadda, but it's also blog post #22 for 2010, so I have broken my old record.

I'm glad that I made that post yesterday as well. I now have a public record of my goals, and I will accomplish them.

Ok so here's another goal. Once I blog for 10 straight days (not including weekends), I'll bring back the photo friday, and if I manage to continue for 20 straight days, then I'll bring back the Clip of the week.

I'm building a regular sequence now, of blogging during my lunch time at work, so the time is there. I just hope that they keep me around in order to keep going on the job.

My 2 Bytes

Let's try this again

Ok, before I was rudely interrupted yesterday by the camera in the HELLO talk I was going to talk about the path I want my career to take and how I'm going to do it.

First of all, I need my student loan debt paid off, so I have to work on that first. The good news is that I should be able to have that paid off my late summer 2011, unless I loose my job again. I'm working contract right now, with the possibility that I could be brought on full time. Obviously I want full time, but for now I'm gonna take it one day at a time.

So after the debt is paid off, I'm going to have a fair bit of money to work with, so the first thing I'm gonna do is get my ITIL certification. Now that is some BS thing where I know about IT processes, and management stuff. In my opinion, I think it a little blaaa, but it could be work extra money a year, and it's not too expensive a certification, as oppose to what I'm going to do next.

So after that I'm going to get my MCSE Certification. This is a Microsoft deal for knowing about servers and the like. Again, I think it will help my career in the future. The bad news is that it's going to cost a little more, so I'll probably wait a year after I get the ITIL to get that certification.

After that, I want to get my CCNA certification. This is a network thing, with connecting to networks. It's something I also want. Again, this is going to be fairly expensive, so I'll have to wait another year to get that.

Lastly, after getting all those certifications, I should be making more money, so then I'm going back to University, to get my MBA. I want to get it, so I can get into managing IT projects. Between that and my IT certifications, I think I'll finally get the career I really want.

So that's the plan. I'll try to lighten things up tomorrow, but I wanted to tell everyone what my path was, just to show that I indeed have direction in life.

My 2 Bytes

What the hell?

Ok I have direction again, which is good because too many people in life ...

I'm sorry, but I'm distracted by the people sitting next to me. One guy is talking about his colonoscopy. I'm sorry but dammit, this is not a subject for the cafeteria for work. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

He's talking about being drugged up when they stuck the camera up his HELLO. I know it's a medical procedure but seriously...COME ON.

I was looking forward to blogging about the current state of my career and the future path which I've decided to follow and then, I'm hearing about some guy talking about when they stuck a camera up his ass. Is that bad manors or is it just me? I'm glad I already had my lunch by this time. It's not like I'm talking about my bowel movements. Sheesh.

I'll try to do the path to the future tomorrow.

My 2 Bytes