Last night I had some sort of anxiety attack. I’m sitting on my couch, watch a Margaret Cho DVD and this wave of panic overcame me. I owe a shitload of money for my student loans. I owe so much that I’m over my head. I’m the 1 in 5 grads in
Maybe I’m feeling like that because I’m trapped because I don’t seem to see the sun anymore. Today sunrise was at 8:38am, and I was already at work, and sunset will be at 4:50pm and I get off of work at 4:30pm but I usually don’t leave until 4:45pm. That leaves me 5 minutes of sunlight a day. Did I mention that I really hate having to wake up before the sun? This morning I slept in big time but I still managed to get to work on time. Grrr. I wanted to be late. I wanted to say, FUCK YOU. The Sun’s not up so I’m not waking up either, but my misguided sense or responsibility managed to get me here on time.
I appear to be lacking a path here once again. Last night’s panic attack really got to me. Perhaps I should look for another job. I have some ‘experience’ now, so perhaps I could find a better paying position.
My life is boring; then again I’m not doing much to make it exciting. I was listening to a podcast about Windows Vista on my way to work today. BORING, but I need to know this stuff, I guess. So its not a podcasting about people fucking like rabbits but I’m not a horny bastard. I don’t have the interest anymore. Why do I have the feeling that this means I have one foot in the grave now? I think I seriously need a hug, or maybe I should become a scientologist. I think the hug is a better idea.
My 2 Bytes.