Tuesday, August 25, 2015

I have a Playstation....IN MY PANTS


I remember buying my Playstation 4, in the early spring when i was denied a Comic Con pass. My thinking is that this was something I wanted, but it wasn’t a high priority. San Diego Comic Con was a higher priority, but when it wasn’t going to happen, I figured that I go and buy one. This is the key thing. I bought the PS4. I didn’t try to steal it by sticking it in my pants like  Floridian Christopher Caldwell, 36 tried to do.

Now, I don’t know how big this guy is, but why did he think he was going to get away with this? Two words HAMMER TIME. This guy was wearing parachute pants, made famous by MC Hammer, but I don’t think MC Hammer was trying to steal game consoles in his baggy pants. Kris Kros wore baggy pant, but never tried to steal a game console. Who thought that it was a good idea to steal a Playstation 4 by sticking it in their pants?

Ever hear of the “pregnant” lady, who steals a frozen turkey as “the baby” This sort of makes sense, but this. This guy must have looked ridiculous with a large box bulging from his crotch, or was he going for the big “box” shaped box look. Why are there no pictures of this guy with the Playstation 4 in his pants? Maybe he should have also crapped himself, so it looked like a huge doogie?

I barely remember an incident involved my short lived criminal activity, but my mother has told me the story more than once. Especially when my parents had to pick me up at the police station. I think I was around 5, or 6. I was attending pre-kindergarten at the time. One day, I decided to go shopping at a Canadian Tire. I don’t remember getting there. I thought I walked, but my mother insists that I took the bus. Once at the store, I grabbed a shopping cart and proceeded to “buy stuff”. A large amount of sporting good, and according to my mom, a large container of Turtle Wax for my dad. After I loaded up the shopping cart, I made my way out of the store. According to my mother, a store clerk even helped me with the shopping cart. Now I’m pretty sure at that time, I did not understand the concept of money. I made it across the street, when someone from the store and a police officer spotted me. I don’t recall too much after that, except staring at a monitor in the police station, until my parents picked me up. I don’t recall exactly, but I’m assuming the store did not press charges.

Now here’s the primary difference between myself and Christopher Caldwell, 36 West Palm Beach, Florida. First, I was 5 or 6 years old, as opposed to being 36. Secondary, I didn’t try to hide my ill gotten goods in my baggy pants. I had them in a shopping cart for everyone to see. Lastly, I WAS SIX AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY BETTER. He’s 36 and should know better.

Dumb ass.

2 comments:

dqsunday said...

Maybe this guy thought people would think he was trying to be Sponge Bob Squarepants.

assholeswatchingmovies.com said...

That's a super cute story. I don't think they can even press charges on a kid that young - stealing implies intent and clearly you were just doing the shopping!