Random Thoughts

I'm winging it again. UH OH, I'm winging it again, UH OH.

Yes I have nothing again. Sure I can blog about the recent events in Egypt, but it's not like I'm there. Besides that's not why the 1 or 2 of you visit my site for, is it? Insightful political discussion? I doubt it.

I realize that I need to book a hotel soon for San Diego, but I don't have much money right now. That will change in a few weeks, when I put back the last of the money I borrowed for a new couch, I'll be able to book a hotel room.

The thing is out of all the friends who managed to get Comic Con tickets, I'm the only one. No one else managed to pull it off. However tickets may become available as people return them. I'm not planning to return mine. Even if I'm the only one in my group going. I will go. I'm seriously looking forward to this trip.

.....

There are times, I really wonder about humanity. Are we good people or just selfish bastards? I know that we should give back, how these days it doesn't seem possible when only a few people have the money and the rest of us are just struggling. Should I be spending money to go to London and San Diego? Should I be using my extra cash to help out people less fortunate than me. I have goals, but where I hear about friends who are not doing as well, I feel guilty, but I also feel like saying...WHAT ABOUT ME?

I made many sacrifices to get where I am today. Admittedly I'm not living in the lap of luxury, but I'm not living in a cardboard box either. Life is short, but for some people its even shorter, and sometimes harsher.

I wish I could win a lot of money in the lottery, so that I can go help these people. Online friends who are going through a lot of crap. I went through similar crap, but I did make it through. I'm just not sure if my friends will manage the same thing. Not with one of them dying. He's dying and it seems like no one wants to help him. I don't get it. I'm not sure what to do, but I need to do something. When a doctor tells you, that you cannot work, and are labeled disabled and you still cannot get any benefits, there is something really really wrong with the world. I want to fix this, but I don't know how. I did promise that I will do something, and I will do something. I'm not sure what. I'm scared for him.

.....

When I die, how will I be judge? Better than others, I hope. I've had a lot of nice things said about me, by people who have never seen me. I've even had nice things said about me by people who have seen me. The thing is I keep everyone at arms length. I just expect people to treat me like crap for some reason.

I was picked on a lot in school. School was basically a living hell for me, and being the misfit. I did have some friends, but let me put it this way. When you hear about kids to snap and go to school with a gun and start shooting, I can relate to them. However my respect for human life would never allow me to do such a horrible action. Thing thing is, when people say, "how could he do something like that"? I know why.

My 2 Bytes