I want to decorate again.

I'm not happy with the way things look around here. I wanted something cool. Something that says Canada, but all I could find was frigging polar bears. I think I go through this every once in a while. I want the blog to represent me. It's my thoughts after all, but I don't want it to look like that the I'm some emoteen, or some anime fanboy (actually I am anime fanboy, but I try to hide that fact from normal people).

I know it's the posts on the blog that are more important that the look of the blog itself, but would you take me seriously if I had a Hannah Montana look here? I wouldn't. I think the big problem is that I want this space to be me, but at the same time, I want to be normal. Well, guess what...I'M NOT NORMAL. Normal is my dad, and I don't want to be my dad.

It's almost like that I'm still searching for my identity. It's strange in a way. I want a my blog to look like I fit in, but at the same time, I want to be unique. Needless to say, I'll never be happy with my template.

Odds are this represents me. I don't know if I'll ever be happy with how I look. I'm a fat guy, we're talking tubby here. We're talking "beeping sound comes from my ass when I walk backwards" kind of tubby. Well to be honest, I can sit in one seat on a plane, so perhaps I'm not that bad.

Bottom line it's all about self esteem and how we're suppose to "fit in". It reminds me of the dad who made the comment "aren't those posters too expensive" to his son at the Con last year when he was really saying "why are you wasting your money on that crap". I kept wanting to say "just because you don't fucking get it, doesn't give you the right to look down on the rest of us". I really wanted to smack that guy. Hell he shouldn't have been to the Con in the first place.

So needless to say, expect another change here soon. Maybe even by the time you read this...like anyone is coming around on a regular basis anymore. I did blogfade after all, with a whopping 21 post for all of 2009. I'm ashamed of that fact, so i strive to do better.

So wish my luck, and perhaps with the new template, I will get back into the blogging mode, but then again, 2 post in 2 days isn't so bad.

My 2 Bytes